And Then There Was Harry
by Menecarkawan
Summary: COMPLETE Severus Snape is given the responsibility of caring for Harry Potter. What happens when he stops seeing 'Potter' and starts seeing 'Harry? Will be SLASH.
1. Nice Dursleys?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters and places within this story except, of course, those that I created myself. No money is being made from this fic.**

**_Author's Note: Welcome to my reposting. There has been such a strong demand for this story that I am now going to repost it for your reading enjoyment. Keep in mind, this story is SLASH and is also a completed work, so updates shouldn't be far between while I work on my new story _'I'd Have Never Believed'_. Many thanks go out to Victoria Ennis for beta reading this story during it's initial writing phase and also to those out there who demanded to see it up again. I love you guys. I'd also like to thank all those who had copies of this saved on their computers. It would never have been recovered without you._**

_**Menecarkawan**_

**_P.S. On a side note, I would like to inform anyone who has never read this that it was written before HBP was released. As a matter of fact, I started writing it even before OtP was released, so naturally some things do not coincide with current Cannon, the most obvious being that Blaise Zabini is female. With that said, I don't want to hear anyone complaining that she's a girl here and a boy there, because when this was written, it was still unknown. Thank you._**

**And Then There Was Harry**

**Chapter One**

**Nice Dursleys?**

**ONE**

It was late in the night, and a boy known as Harry Potter was asleep on his bed at number 4 Privet Drive. The bed was small, but Harry still fit in it nicely because he was short for his age. As he slept, his young face became troubled, the only sign that something in his dream was amiss.

Harry, you see, was a wizard-in-training, home for the summer after his fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His fourth year had ended on very bad terms because the dark wizard, Voldemort, had been restored to his body. Voldemort had tried to kill Harry when the boy was only a year old, but had failed. The curse had rebounded on Voldemort, leaving him in a spirit form, dead yet still alive. The events that had restored him to his body plagued Harry's dreams and thoughts. That brings us back to Harry.

He moved slightly in his sleep, a soft moan of distress escaping his lips.

"No," he said in his sleep. "Please don't. Please. I won't run. I won't…" Suddenly his entire body began to convulse as earsplitting, pain-filled screams filled the small room. He was writhing violently in the bed when the door burst open and the lights came on.

A very large man with almost no neck, beady eyes, dark hair, and a large mustache stood watching Harry fearfully. This man was Vernon Dursley, Harry's uncle. Uncle Vernon advanced on the bed quickly and grasped Harry's shoulders just as the wave of agonized screams came to a halt. Harry continued to twitch on the bed, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Uncle Vernon shook Harry's shoulders vigorously.

"Wake up, boy!" he shouted. He knew that people with severe trauma shouldn't be left to sleep. That, and, for the first time in his life, he was concerned for the welfare of his fifteen-year-old nephew. Behind him, a tall, skinny, blonde woman with a square face and a long neck appeared in the doorway.

"What is it, Vernon?" she asked nervously.

"I don't know, Petunia!" Uncle Vernon snapped. Petunia was Harry's aunt; his mother's sister, which was why Harry came to live with the Dursleys after Voldemort had killed his parents.

Vernon looked around the room and his eyes landed on a very alert albeit quiet snowy owl sitting in an open cage on Harry's desk.

"Maybe we could send a letter to that school of his," Uncle Vernon suggested slowly.

"Do you think that's a good idea, Vernon?" Aunt Petunia asked, eyeing the owl warily.

Harry opened his eyes and turned over quickly, retching on the floor beside his bed. He groaned loudly and laid flat on his back still shaking, though not as violently as before.

"Stay with him," Uncle Vernon said, standing and moving to the door. Aunt Petunia came in and sat next to Harry on the bed.

"Hurry, Vernon," she said softly. Uncle Vernon left the room and Aunt Petunia listened as his footsteps grew fainter. After a few minutes had passed, Uncle Vernon returned holding an envelope.

"Now listen here, bird," he said threateningly to the owl.

She simply glared at him coldly.

"Her name is Hedwig," a very tired voice said from the bed.

"Harry!" Aunt Petunia exclaimed. "Oh, thank God, you're awake!"

Harry was shocked at the concern her was receiving from his relatives, but he was in too much pain to bother with thinking about it.

"Hedwig then," Uncle Vernon said sharply. "You have to take this letter to that school Harry goes to. We don't know what to do for him here."

Hedwig hooted indignantly but grabbed the letter from Uncle Vernon's hand. She gave Harry a concerned glance before flying out of the window.

"Harry, what happened?" Uncle Vernon asked. When Harry didn't reply, Uncle Vernon looked closer at him. Harry had fallen back to sleep.

"This has happened every night since he's been home, Vernon," Aunt Petunia said nervously. "I've never heard anyone scream like that."

"Maybe those wizarding types he's so fond of can help him," Uncle Vernon replied. "They'd better. This noise is grating on my nerves." The harshness of his words was belied by the concern in his eyes.

**TWO**

Harry woke up early the next morning, his entire body aching from the night before. He sat up slowly and groaned as his body protested the movement.

"Why must you torment me, you smarmy, snake-eyed bastard?" he said to no one in particular. He looked over the side of his bed and found that the floor had been cleaned. He got out of bed and slowly dressed as his muscles got used to the movement. Harry was busy trying to remember what happened in his dream when a soft tap on his door interrupted his musings.

He sighed and opened the door. Aunt Petunia was standing on the other side, looking at him nervously.

"How do you feel this morning, Harry?" she asked gently.

Harry didn't bother to cover up his surprise as his eyebrow arched elegantly over his beautiful green eyes.

"I'm fine," he said in a suspicious tone of voice. "I'll be down to make breakfast in a moment."

"Nonsense, Harry," Aunt Petunia replied. "Breakfast is already made. I came up to tell you."

Harry stared openly at his horse-faced aunt. "You came up here to tell me that I get some breakfast that I didn't cook?" he asked, trying to wrap his brain around what Aunt Petunia was saying.

Aunt Petunia sighed. It almost sounded regretful. Almost.

"Why don't you come down and eat something?" she asked. "After you've eaten we can talk."

Harry watched in dumbfounded silence as Aunt Petunia smiled, turned, and walked down the stairs.

'_She smiled at me!' _Harry thought. _'What in bloody Hell is going on here?' _He shook himself from his thoughts and walked down to the kitchen.

As soon as Harry entered the room, Uncle Vernon handed him a hot cup of tea.

"You look pale," he said with concern. "Sit and eat some of these good eggs your aunt made."

Harry had to force himself to move, sitting at the table and staring at his aunt and uncle in obvious disbelief. Aunt Petunia set a plate of steaming food in front of him. He ate politely, although he was still nauseous from his bout with the Cruciatus Curse the night before. His dream was very vivid, but all he could remember now was the pain. He finished about half of what he was given and then put his fork down.

"I'm sorry," he said gently. "I don't think I can eat any more."

"Are you sure, Harry?" Aunt Petunia asked, eyeing his plate. "You barely ate half."

Harry swallowed a sarcastic comment. "I guess I could eat a little more," he said uncertainly. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were actually being nice to him and he didn't want to ruin it. He forced down the rest of his breakfast and sat back in his chair, trying to keep it down.

Aunt Petunia smiled as he sat back and picked up his plate, putting it in the sink. After that, she sat down across from him.

"We need to talk, Harry," she said gently.

"What about?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"What happened last night?" Uncle Vernon asked. "You were screaming so loud you could wake the dead."

Harry swallowed hard, wondering how to explain Voldemort to his family. "Er," he said uncertainly. "Do you remember how my parents died?"

Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon nodded slowly.

"Well," Harry went on, "the wi… er, I mean, the person who killed them wants to kill me now. I'm connected to him through my scar. When he tortures someone else, I can feel it too."

Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were staring at him in shock.

"You can feel whatever he does to them?" she asked.

Harry nodded.

"How long has this been happening?" Uncle Vernon asked.

"Er," Harry said. "For a while now. Since last year, mostly."

**THREE**

After the conversation about Voldemort, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were much friendlier towards Harry. Harry continued to have nightmares and pain during the nights, but now whenever he woke up Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were there, offering support. It was strange to have them be there for him, but he was glad that they finally cared enough to try to help him.

Three days later, Hedwig came with a letter for Uncle Vernon from Hogwarts. Harry was certain that an explosion was coming, but none did.

Vernon opened the letter as Hedwig landed on Harry's shoulder to watch curiously. Uncle Vernon didn't say anything. Just as Vernon opened his mouth to speak, the door opened and Aunt Petunia came in with Harry's cousin, Dudley. Dudley was very fat and looked a lot like his father, except his hair was blonde.

"Dad!" Dudley exclaimed when he saw Harry. "Harry's bird is sitting on his shoulder!" He looked like Christmas had come early. He had been at his private school, Smeltings, for summer school because his grades were bad. He was expecting Harry to get into trouble.

Uncle Vernon didn't even look up from the letter he was reading. "That's nice, son," he said distractedly.

"Mum, aren't you going to say something?" Dudley complained.

Aunt Petunia walked passed Harry and stroked Hedwig's feathers gently. "She's a lovely bird," she said.

Dudley stood in the doorway, his face red with anger. Harry gave him a smile as Dudley turned and stormed up the stairs.


	2. Is That Potter's Owl?

**Chapter Two**

**Is That Potter's Owl?**

**ONE **

Severus Snape was in his potions lab working on some experimental potions when Albus Dumbledore requested a game of chess. Severus never understood Albus' strange sense of timing, but chess with the old wizard always proved to be an interesting affair. He packed up his supplies and put his notebook into a pocket on the inside of his black robes.

Severus was a tall man with sallow skin, shoulder-length black hair and black eyes. He wasn't overly skinny, but he wasn't over weight by any means. Most people could never tell just what he looked like because he always wore long billowing black robes. The fact that he had a well-toned abdomen was something he wanted to hide from Hogwarts female population. He didn't consider himself handsome, but he did think he had a sex appeal that was undeniable.

He was now in his private rooms preparing himself for a chess match against one of Hogwarts best players. He had a new strategy for Albus today, and thought he might have a good chance of winning this time.

Behind him, a tall man appeared in the doorway to the bedroom. Said man was naked and very handsome. He had blonde hair and rippling muscles and he was only slightly shorter than Severus. His gray eyes were sparkling with lust as he watched Severus put away his things.

"Where are you going, Severus?" he asked.

"Albus has invited me for a game of chess," Severus replied shortly.

"I don't know why you bother with it," the blonde said. He walked up behind Severus and placed his hands around the Slytherin's waist.

Severus peeled the man's hands away. "I don't know why you insist on tormenting me, Mike," he said sourly. The blonde man was Mike Selveina. He attended Durmstrang Academy in his school days, and he irritated Severus to no end. Severus kept him around for one reason… he was great in bed. "I enjoy having my intellect challenged every once in a while."

"I'm not stimulating enough for you?" Mike asked playfully.

"No, you're not," Severus answered truthfully. He turned around and glared at the slightly younger man. "For Merlin's sake, put some clothes on." He pushed passed Mike and went to the door. "I may be a while. Feel free to leave." With that, he left the room and went up to Albus' office, his robes billowing angrily behind him.

As he opened the door, he found Albus reading Witch Weekly and sipping on a cup of tea.

"Ah, Severus," Albus said enthusiastically. "I was beginning to wonder. Would you like some tea?" Albus was an old wizard with sparkling white hair and twinkling blue eyes. His hair and beard was so long that he could have tucked them both into his belt if he felt so inclined. Today he was wearing dark purple robes with little sparkling stars all over them. Severus never understood the man's taste in robes, but said nothing.

"No," Severus said flatly. "I came here to play chess."

Albus chuckled lightly and put his magazine aside. "Quite right!" he said cheerily, moving to sit in front of a very strange chessboard. This board was arranged in three tiers, each one smaller than the last. It looked more like some kind of warped statue than it did like a chessboard. Severus sat down across from Albus and eyed the board suspiciously.

"What kind of chessboard is this?" he asked with annoyance.

"I saw it in a Muggle film once," Albus said happily. "I think it was called 'Star Trek'. I saw it and I've always wanted to try it."

Severus shook his head in bemusement. He never would understand the eccentric old man. "How are we supposed to play this?" he asked.

"We can make up rules as we go!" Albus replied happily. He waved his wand and the pieces arranged themselves on the board. It took nearly an hour for the two men to agree on a set of rules that made some sense, and then they began to play. Severus thought he had the upper hand when Albus took his queen.

"How did you do that?" Severus asked in disbelief.

Albus waved his hand dismissively. "Tell me about Mike," he said instead of answering.

"Mike is slowly becoming the bane of my existence," Severus replied dryly.

Albus chuckled. "I thought Harry Potter was the bane of your existence."

Severus groaned and glared at Albus. "You are not funny," he said with disdain.

"Of course not," Albus replied. "I never said that I was."

"Well, as it is…" Severus started. He stopped speaking as a large snowy owl flew into the open window and around the room. She dropped a letter on Albus' lap and then continued to fly about in aggravation. "Is that Potter's owl?" Severus asked as he watched the bird flying.

"It is," Albus replied. His voice was suddenly grave as his eyes passed over the letter.

"What does it say, Albus?" Severus asked.

"It seems that our young Mr. Potter is in danger," Albus replied.

"That's surprising," Severus said sarcastically.

Albus ignored him. "His uncle claims that Harry is in pain and they don't know what's causing it. He insists that someone comes to help."

"He's probably overreacting."

"I don't think so." Albus stood from his seat and walked over to his desk, taking out a fresh sheet of parchment and scribbling a reply. He rolled it up and handed it to Potter's owl. "Take this back to Harry's uncle," he told the bird, stroking her feathers gently. "Harry will be fine, don't worry."

Potter's owl hooted as she flew out of the window.

Albus turned, looking at Severus contemplatively.

Severus didn't like that look at all. He had seen it before and he knew what Albus was going to say. "No, Albus," he said sternly. "I refuse to let that child interfere with my peaceful summer."

"Oh, come now, Severus," Albus said offhandedly. "It won't be that much of a task. All you have to do is go there and check on him. You won't be there for more than twenty minutes."

"That will be twenty minutes too long," Severus said coldly. He leveled a glare at Albus knowing that it would have no effect.

"He needs help, Severus," Albus said, suddenly sounding stern. "I'm not asking you to go. I am telling you that you are the only one who can help him. You're going tomorrow. I've already told them to expect you."

Severus groaned and stood up, wondering how he always let Albus get the better of him. He walked to the door, making sure to slam it on his way out. He could hear Albus laughing through the thick wood.

He stormed back to his rooms angrily and began to pack potions into his waist belt. Who knew what Potter had gotten himself into this time? The insolent brat was always looking for ways to get more attention than he already received. _'I hope he's not expecting the same from me,' _Severus thought as he carefully laid out the belt on the table. _'I will do what Albus sent me there to do and then I am leaving. I cannot believe that he is invading my summer!'_

"Is something wrong, Severus?" Mike asked, coming out of the bedroom.

"What are you still doing here?" Severus asked irritably. "I thought you were leaving."

"You want me to leave?" Mike asked with feigned hurt.

Severus turned around in exasperation and felt his jaw drop. Mike was wearing leather pants, a black spiked dog collar, and spiked bands around his wrists. Severus felt his resolve to get rid of Mike dissolve in lust. He crossed the room and pulled Mike into a searing kiss, his hands roaming over the blonde's firm backside. He dragged Mike to the bedroom and roughly pushed him onto the bed.

Mike purred softly, watching Severus remove his robe to reveal the formfitting black jeans and button down beneath. Severus kneeled over Mike and began to kiss him roughly. He moved down Mike's body and bit the nipples roughly, drawing moans from the young man.

"Severus," Mike gasped as Severus ripped off Mike's pants.

"What?" Severus asked, his voice thick with lust.

"Oh, please hurry," Mike pleaded.

After their brief tryst, Severus collapsed in exhaustion on top of his lover.

"I love you, Severus," Mike said tiredly. "You know that, right?"

"Hmm," Severus replied, rolling to the side. "I have to be up early tomorrow. Albus is sending me to check up on one of the insufferable brats."

"Oh," Mike said, sounding disappointed. "Good night then."

"Good night," Severus replied, closing his eyes.

**TWO**

The next morning found Severus in a sour mood. Mike had stormed out that morning claiming that Severus didn't appreciate him. He was right, but it still didn't help Severus' mood. He was upset that he had to check up on Potter as though he were a nanny or something as ludicrous and now his 'boyfriend' was upset with him, not that he wasn't trying to get rid of Mike, but that was beside the point. He wanted the relationship to end on his terms, not that it could be called a 'relationship'.

Around ten o'clock that morning, he Apparated to a car rental shop near Potter's home and rented a small family car. He hated driving with passion, but he wanted to be prepared for anything. As he pulled up to number 4 Privet Drive, he saw Potter looking out of his bedroom window. He seemed surprised to see a car pulling into his driveway. The curtain fell back over the window and Severus felt annoyance as he looked at the boy. He looked perfectly healthy.

He parked the car and walked up to the door, feeling silly in his Muggle clothes. He knocked, tapping his fingers impatiently as he waited for someone to open. The door opened and Severus found himself confronted with an ugly blonde woman.

"May I help you?" she asked, her Surrey accent coming through very strong, just like Potter's.

"I am here due to a request made on behalf of Harry Potter," Severus replied coldly.

"Oh, you must be his teacher," the woman replied, standing aside slightly. "Come in."

Severus stepped over the threshold and observed the quaint residence of the Boy-Who-Lived. There were stairs right in front of the door and a kitchen to the left. On the right was a living room. Severus could make out a greenhouse just passed the kitchen.

"Is Potter here?" he asked coldly.

"Oh, of course he is," the woman replied a bit uncertainly. "Have a seat in the living room and I'll collect him for you."

Severus sat down on the flowery couch and waited impatiently for Potter to come down so he could question him and leave.

"Sir!" the woman called from upstairs.

Severus groaned in frustration. Potter was being difficult on purpose, he was sure.

"Sir, please come help me!" the woman called again. She had a note of panic in her voice.

Severus got up and ran up the stairs, wondering what was causing her distress. When he reached the room she was in, he was confronted with an unexpected scene.

Potter was doubled over on the floor, groaning in pain. He fell onto his side and seemed to be desperately trying not to scream.

Though Potter wasn't screaming, Severus knew the Cruciatus Curse when he saw it. He didn't understand how it was possible, but he cursed himself for not bringing the proper potions to help. He lifted Potter from the ground and placed him on the small bed in the room.

"I need you to stay with him," he said to the woman.

"Where are you going?" she asked. "I thought that you came to help!"

"I did, but I need to get a potion for him. I didn't bring it with me. I won't be gone more than ten minutes."

The woman nodded and watched as he ran down the stairs.

Severus ran to the Apparition Point, three blocks away from Potter's house and Apparated to Hogsmeade. He ran up the path to the castle and down to his private rooms. He went into his office and opened a small cabinet with a muttered spell ("Aperire!"), and removed a tiny vial of metallic blue potion. He almost closed the cabinet but then decided to take three more vials of the potion just in case. He locked the cabinet again, ran back to Hogsmeade, and Apparated back to Little Whinging. As he entered the house again, he found the woman still sitting by Potter's bed, a bucket by her side.

"Oh, thank goodness," she said when she saw him coming up the stairs. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming back."

"I told you that I would come back," Severus replied with irritation. "I never go back on my word, now move aside." He practically shoved the woman out of the way and sat next to Potter on the bed. Potter was pale, sweaty and shaking slightly, his breathing a little bit labored. Severus was pleased to note that the boy was conscious.

"Can you move, Potter?" he asked.

"I think so," Potter said weakly, struggling to sit. Severus put his arm under Potter's back and helped him to sit up. He took out one of the vials and pulled the cork.

"Drink this potion, Potter," he said, holding the potion up to Potter's mouth.

Potter jerked away from it. "What is it?" he asked.

Severus felt a surge of irritation roll through him. "It's poison," he replied.

Potter looked at him like he had grown another head.

Severus almost chuckled, but not quite. "It'll help the pain, Potter," he said coldly. "Unless you'd rather suffer. Either way, I think I can live with your choice."

Potter attempted a scowl, but the pain on his face made the expression utterly ridiculous. He drank the potion and then lay back on the bed.

"I'm going to talk to your guardian, Potter," Severus said.

"She's my aunt," Potter said distractedly.

"You're aunt then," Severus corrected. "Just try to rest." He then got up and walked out of the room, gently guiding Potter's aunt with him. He closed the door slightly, but not all the way, unsure of how Potter would react to the potion.

"What is your name, woman?" Severus asked when they were in the corridor.

"Petunia," the woman replied nervously.

"Very well," Severus said. "I want to know how long this has been going on."

"This is the first time that it's happened during the day," Petunia said. "It usually happens when he's sleeping. He wakes up screaming so loud he could wake the dead."

"You didn't answer my question," Severus said irritably.

"It's been happening since he came home for the summer," Petunia said quickly.

Severus added in his head. That meant that Potter had been suffering from the Cruciatus Curse every night for the past three weeks and had said nothing. He would still be suffering alone if he family had not seen it fit to contact Albus about the problem. What was wrong with Potter that he didn't ask for help even when it was so obvious that help was needed? He was suffering from an abundance of idiotic Gryffindor selflessness. Severus had never seen anything like it.

"What's happening to him?" Petunia asked, her concern showing in her eyes.

"It's a curse," Severus replied.

Petunia looked frightened. "Doesn't that mean there's a bad wizard around here?" she asked.

"No," Severus replied. "Potter is magically bound to the Dark Lord through that scar of his."

"Dark Lord?" Petunia asked, looking even more frightened.

"He didn't explain this to you?" Severus asked.

"He said something about some man called Voldemort," Petunia replied.

Severus was impressed with her for a moment before he reminded himself that she didn't realize how dangerous the Dark Lord was.

"He is the Dark Lord," he said shortly. "The curse is called Cruciatus."

"What does that _mean_?" Petunia asked.

Severus sighed and resigned himself to explaining the Unforgivable Curses to this woman. "There are three curses in the wizarding world that are absolutely forbidden. Using them will earn you an instant life sentence in prison. They are called the Unforgivable Curses for that reason. The first is called Imperio. It comes from the Latin, imperito, which means 'to be in command'. This curse allows the caster to be in complete control of the victim's actions.

"The second curse is called Avada Kedavra which was taken from an ancient language called Aramaic. It is the killing curse that was used to kill Potter's parents. The last curse, the one afflicting your nephew, is called Cruciatus. It comes from the Latin, crucio, which means 'to torture or torment'. It causes extreme pain unlike anything you could ever imagine."

"But how can he feel that just because of his scar?" Petunia asked, confused.

Severus sighed again. He hated dealing with Muggles. "Avada Kedavra is the curse that gave Potter his scar. He is the only known person to have ever survived that particular curse. Unfortunately, the failed curse formed a connection between Potter and the Dark Lord. Any time the Dark Lord casts Crucio on anyone, Potter feels it as though he were the victim."

"Why did this Voldemort kill Harry's parents to start with?" Petunia asked, her eyes misting over slightly.

"He wanted to kill Potter," Severus replied. "Lily and James died to protect him."

"But then, why did he want to kill Harry?"

"No one knows," Severus said. _Except for Albus, and he's not telling anyone about that, _he added silently.

"So, will that potion you gave him make it stop?" Petunia asked.

"No. It was simply a potion to negate the after effects of Crucio. There is no counter curse to make it stop completely. I think it would be best if Potter came with me."

"Oh no," Petunia complained. "But we've only just started to get to know him."

Severus raised his eyebrow at her. "You've been living with him for fourteen years," he said dryly.

"I'm afraid that we weren't very kind to him," Petunia replied.

"Explain," Severus demanded.

"Perhaps you could join me for some tea?" Petunia asked. The two headed down to the kitchen and Petunia put a pot on the stove to boil. Severus listened intently as she told him Potter's life story.

He couldn't believe when she told him that Potter's bedroom used to be a cupboard. He felt anger rising in his chest and had to remind himself that he hadn't treated the boy any better, though it didn't help, as he wasn't related to the boy. When she finished telling him about Potter's childhood, Severus said, "I want to see this cupboard."

Petunia nodded gravely and led him out into the entrance hall. There was a door under the stairs, which she opened. Severus peered inside and found that this space was tiny. He couldn't believe that Potter had spent the first ten years of his childhood with these people locked away in this tiny cupboard. It was no wonder the boy was smaller than all of the boys his age.

"I have heard enough of this," he said coldly. Petunia was now crying openly.

"I never thought about it as abuse," she said. "Vernon said that it would squash the magic out of him and make him normal."

"Fool Muggle!" Severus snapped. "You cannot 'squash' the magic out of someone! You either have it or you do not!" He pointed up the stairs as he spoke. "That child probably saved your worthless life the night his parents died, and look at the thanks he got from you! I'm taking him with me and you'll be lucky to ever see him again!" He turned and walked up the stairs to Potter's room.

Potter was on the bed, facing away from the door.

Severus walked in and quietly walked across the room to wake Potter up. To his surprise, Potter began to speak to him.

"It figures that they would send you," he said. "They knew I would probably need a potion or something."

"Yes well," Severus said. "You do have away of depleting Poppy's potions supplies." He couldn't believe he just made a joke with Potter.

"You know, Mum and Dad died because of me," Potter said quietly.

"That's nonsense," Severus said sharply.

"No, it's not," Potter replied. "The last thing Mum said was 'not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead.' "

"What are you talking about, Potter?" Severus asked. How could the boy actually _remember _what his mother said in her dying moments? He'd only been a year old!

"I remember," Potter said. "It's what I hear whenever a Dementor gets too close."

Severus swallowed and came closer to the bed. "Are your things packed?" he asked.

Potter nodded slightly. "I packed them earlier, when the letter came. I thought you might want me back at Hogwarts."

Severus looked around and saw Potter's trunk and wand in the room. On the table was his owl, sitting quietly in her cage, watching everything critically. Severus lifted the trunk and took it to the car. He went back for the bird and then for Potter. He lifted Potter off of the bed and became slightly concerned at the boy's weight.

"Haven't you been eating, Potter?" he asked with annoyance. The last thing he needed was to find out that Potter had an eating disorder.

"I can't keep anything down," Potter replied. "The pain makes my stomach queasy."

"I see," Severus replied, kicking himself for not remembering that particular side effect of Crucio.

"You will let him write to us, won't you?" Petunia asked as he passed her on his way to the car.

"If he wishes," Severus replied. He opened the door and gently placed Potter on the back seat, placing the strongest protection spell he knew on the boy before getting in the driver's seat.

Potter slept for most of the train-ride back to Hogwarts and Poppy insisted on keeping him in the infirmary until he was strong enough to explain his problem. Severus didn't think that would happen any time soon.

* * *

**NOTES: I would like to take this moment to thank my reviewers. **

**Shadow Eclipse: Thank you for your support. You need not worry, as this is a completed work and so shall be updated daily, unless something happens that keeps me away from my computer.**

**Skimmie: Thank you. I hope that Severus is sufficiently in character for the time being.**

**Sliver of Melody: Thank you.**

**Ktoddhim: It's nice to see one of my old readers about. Not that you're old, but you know what I mean. 'The New Threat' is saved in part on my hard drive. 136 pages, to be more specific. I will consider reposting that series, but if I do, they will all have to be re-worked to make them flow better. With that in mind, it may be a while before they are posted. Thanks for your review.**

**Lirael Goldenhand: The idea of nice Dursleys came to me when I thought 'Why can't the Dursleys change?' I was tired of the used up concept of Harry being beaten to a bloody pulp in most fan fiction, so I decided to go to the other extreme. I'm glad you liked it. As for the twitching, might I recommend one of Snape's potions? I hear they're the best.**

**Smurff: I hope Severus lived up to your expectations. Thanks for the review.**

**Weirkat: As I said above, it's nice to see one of my old readers bout. Once again, not that your old, but you know what I mean. I'm glad you like this story well enough to read it again. Small changes will be made here and there, but for the most part, it's the same. Nothing earth shattering, if you know what I mean. Thanks for your review.**


	3. A Walk with the BoyWhoLived

**Chapter Three**

**A Walk With The Boy-Who-Lived**

**ONE **

Harry woke up to bright light shining on his face. He opened his eyes and found that he was in a hospital type ward, surrounded by white. He immediately recognized Hogwarts' Hospital Wing. He groaned a bit at the thought. _School hasn't even started and I'm already in the Hospital Wing, _he thought irritably. He sat up, surprised to find that he wasn't in any form of pain. His stomach was still a bit upset, but not as bad as it had been on previous days. He supposed it was because of Snape's potion.

Harry wasn't at all surprised that Dumbledore had sent Snape to 'rescue' him from his nightmares, although he doubted very much that Uncle Vernon had called them that in his letter. Dumbledore had a strange sense of security and he always seemed to think that Snape could help somehow. Harry and Snape were so different from each other that Harry thought it was impossible that they would ever mesh well together. It was like trying to mix oil and water.

Harry pushed thoughts of Snape out of his mind as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He realized he was in Hogwarts issued pajamas and decided to make a pit stop in Gryffindor Tower to get some clothes before going for a long walk on the school grounds. Perhaps he could go down to the lake and watch the giant squid splash around for a bit. Just as he stood up, Madame Pomfrey came into the room. Harry had been hoping to avoid her.

"What do you think you are doing, young man?" Madame Pomfrey said in a sharp tone.

"Going for a walk?" Harry suggested sarcastically.

"I think not," Madame Pomfrey said. She walked briskly over to him and pushed him back down into the bed, covering him with the blankets. She was a petite woman with her head covered in a white cap. She was wearing white robes and she was _fussing_ over him.

"I'm fine, Madame Pomfrey," Harry said.

"Don't you tell me if you're fine or not," Madame Pomfrey scolded. "I'm the Medi-witch, aren't I?"

Harry sighed and sat still. "I suppose if you look at it that way," he muttered.

She looked him over and straightened up. "You're fine," she said.

Harry smiled smugly at her.

"But I don't think you should be going on long walks just now," she went on.

"I can't stay in the Hospital Wing for the rest of the summer," Harry complained. "I need to feel the sun and the wind. I haven't been outside in three weeks! Please, just a short walk, and then I'll rest all you want."

Madame Pomfrey sighed heavily. "Fine," she said grudgingly. "But you're taking Professor Snape with you."

Harry groaned audibly.

"I know you and he don't mix well together, but he's the only person available to go with you."

"Can't I go alone?"

"You are not going anywhere alone." Madame Pomfrey fixed him fierce glare. "If he doesn't go with you, you don't go either."

Harry sighed, resigned to spend the afternoon with his most hated professor. "Yes Ma'am," he said.

"I'll go and fetch Professor Snape for you then." Madame Pomfrey walked into her office briskly.

Harry could practically see Snape's face when Pomfrey told him that Harry wanted to go for a walk and needed a _babysitter _to do it. He groaned at the thought.

"He's on his way," Madame Pomfrey said from her office.

"Yes Ma'am," Harry said miserably.

**TWO **

Severus was having a good day. Mike had come back the previous night saying that he had acted hastily when he left previously. They had mind-blowing make-up sex and then Severus had found the key ingredient he had been missing in an experimental potion. He was now sitting in front of his fire, reading a book and sipping on a cup of strong, hot tea.

The fire sparked, turned green briefly, and then Poppy's head was popping out of the bottom.

"Might I ask a favor of you, Severus?" she asked politely.

Severus lowered his book and leveled a bone-chilling glare at the plump Medi-witch.

"What do you want, Poppy?" he asked impatiently. "If you hadn't noticed, I am _relaxing_ today, an activity I seldom enjoy."

"I do hate to bother you, Severus," Poppy said, not looking as though she meant it, "but young Mr. Potter is becoming restless."

"He's barely been in your care for a day!" Severus snapped.

"I understand that, Severus," Poppy replied, beginning to become irritated herself. "He says he has not been outside in three weeks. He was very adamant that he wishes to go out, and I think it would do the boy good to get some sun."

"What does this have to do with me?"

"I'd like you to go with him."

"_Why_?" Severus was starting to wish he had left Potter at his relatives to suffer alone. He hadn't even been at Hogwarts for a day and already he was invading Severus' solitude.

"In case something should happen to him," Poppy replied as though this should have been obvious.

In fact, it _was_ obvious to Severus, but he didn't want to leave his rooms. He didn't understand why the woman was forcing him to spend time with the brat.

"What would happen if he had a vision out there?" Poppy went on, ignoring Severus' glare as only she and Albus could. "He would pass out and we might not find him for hours, or even days. How would that weigh on your conscious when you think back on it, knowing you had a chance to go with him and protect him, but didn't take it?"

Severus thought about Potter out near the forest, passed out and in pain. He smirked. Then he thought about the repercussions if that should come to pass. Albus would not be pleased with him. Furthermore, Potter could be found by some wild beast and dragged off into the forest, no hope of ever seeing humanity again. The Dark Lord would have no real competition to fight against and take over the world, and then kill Severus for the traitor he was. Damn Poppy for making him think this much.

He sighed in resignation and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Very well, Poppy," he said. "I'm on my way."

Severus put his book down on the coffee table and stood up, taking one last sip of his tea.

Mike came in giving Severus an appraising look.

"Where are you going, Severus?" he asked. He was in a good mood and it was starting to annoy Severus. Mike always became very talkative when he was in a good mood. Severus hated talking.

"I must escort a student around the grounds," Severus replied shortly.

"Is it Potter?" Mike asked.

Severus looked at him as though he were stupid. "Are there any other students here?" he asked, raising his eyebrow in question.

"No," Mike replied, not affected by Severus' cold tone. "Why do you have to take him around? He knows his way, doesn't he?"

"In case he should collapse during his walk." He walked to the door brusquely, turning when he reached it. "No, you may not accompany me. I will return later." With that, he closed the door sharply.

**THREE **

Harry was looking at the clothes that had been brought up for him with distaste. Snape had never seen him out of his school robes, and Harry didn't think that Dudley's old clothes were going to make a good impression. Not that he cared what Snape thought, per say, but he didn't want _anyone_ to see him around in Dudley's old things.

"Madame Pomfrey?" he asked politely.

"Yes dear?" Madame Pomfrey asked without turning from the cabinet she was rummaging through.

"Could you please shrink these clothes a bit for me?"

Madame Pomfrey turned to him with a puzzled expression. "Why don't you do it?" she asked.

"Well," Harry said. "Technically I'm still on summer holiday so I'm not allowed to do magic."

Madame Pomfrey smiled kindly. "I suppose," she agreed softly. She waved her wand making Harry's clothes fit him perfectly. They looked rather stunning now that they fit because Aunt Petunia always insisted that Dudley wear the best designers.

"If you don't mind my asking," Madame Pomfrey said carefully. "Why are all of your clothes so big?"

Harry felt himself turning a bit red. "Oh," he said, "my aunt and uncle didn't really have enough money to spend on me so I got my cousin's old clothes."

"Is he much older than you?" Madame Pomfrey asked, going back to the cabinet.

"Erm," Harry said, willing his blush away. "Only a few months."

Madame Pomfrey turned to him again and eyed the clothes skeptically. "I suppose that makes sense," she said, sounding as though she didn't think any such thing.

Harry sat down to put on his shoes….

**FOUR **

Severus was extremely annoyed that he had to come and baby-sit Potter as if the boy were only five-years-old or some other such nonsense. He walked briskly, his robes billowing behind him as though to illustrate his irritation.

He swept into the infirmary and stopped in his tracks. Potter was sitting on the edge of his bed, bent over, tying his shoes. Severus waited impatiently for the boy, tapping his foot audibly on the tile floor.

Potter straightened up slowly, turning to look at Severus curiously. He turned his back again and stood up, stretching his arms slowly over his head. Severus noted that Potter was wearing designer Muggle jeans and an emerald green designer jumper. He felt his irritation increase.

"Hurry up, Potter," he drawled. "I haven't all day to escort you around the castle."

Potter sighed and walked toward him. "I'm ready," he said simply. He walked passed Severus, setting a slow pace out of the castle. The two walked in silence until they were out on the grass near the lake.

"Why," Severus asked with annoyance, "are we walking so _slowly_?"

Potter turned to look at him, tilting his head back in order to look into Severus' eyes. "I didn't want you to come along," Potter said matter of factly. "That was Madame Pomfrey's idea. All I want to do right now is walk and enjoy the sun and the wind without having to worry about anything else. I haven't been outside in almost three weeks. Can't you just allow me this small pleasure?"

Severus looked at the boy with mild surprise. Potter didn't sound upset or irritated in any way. He simply explained things in a calm voice that radiated nothing but weariness. Severus simply held out his arm to indicate that Potter should continue his walk and then followed behind the boy silently.

Potter walked slowly once more, looking around as though he had never seen the school grounds before. Eventually he moved to the edge of the lake and stood quietly, looking out over the water with what seemed to be content. He smiled wistfully, tilting his head back, closing his eyes and holding his arms slightly away from his body.

Severus thought that perhaps the boy had gone into a trance so he moved closer.

"What are you doing, Potter?" he asked.

Potter didn't move. "Sh," he said. "Can you hear that?"

Severus listened, but he didn't hear anything. "No," he said dryly.

Potter still didn't move. "Listen," he said, his smile growing larger. "Haven't you ever listened for it before?"

Severus stared. _'Listened for what?_' "What are you talking about, Potter?" he asked, starting to get annoyed with the boy once again.

"Haven't you ever just stood still and listened?" Potter asked, finally moving. He turned to fix Severus with a gaze from those piercing green eyes. "Just close your eyes," he said. "And you'll hear it."

"Hear what, exactly?" Severus asked. _'I think the Cruciatus Curse has made the boy daft.'_

"Bliss," Potter replied, going back to his listening.

Severus blinked. Bliss? What was Potter talking about?

"Just stand still, close your eyes, and listen," Potter instructed. "I can feel my heart beating and the air coming and going from my lungs. I feel the breeze when it tickles across my skin and warmth as the sun touches my face. I hear the water of the lake ripple as the wind passes across it. I can hear the rustling of the leaves and insects buzzing as they get on with their lives. It's as close to bliss as I've ever been." He opened his eyes again and turned to look at Severus again.

"You are a strange boy, Potter," Severus commented.

"I know," Potter replied. "But when all you know is pain, the little things take on more meaning." He bent at the knees, crouched by the cool water of the lake. He looked down and scooped up a beetle from the grass. Severus recognized it as a Spinster Poison Beetle. He took a step forward.

"Do you know what you're holding, Potter?" he asked. _'Trust Potter to not know danger when it's right in front of his face.'_

"It's a Spinster Poison Beetle," Potter replied calmly.

Severus blinked again. _'What?'_

"Its poison is the most potent of all poisons known to man," Potter went on. "Ironically, it is used in most healing potions, the other ingredients rendering the poison harmless."

Potter was full of surprises. The boy placed the beetle gently back on the grass and straightened up. He looked at Severus with sadness on his face. "They only bite when provoked," he said. "Fascinating creatures."

Severus stared at the Boy-Who-Lived wordlessly. Potter never did well in potions class, yet he knew everything about the deadly beetle. Potter turned and began walking back toward the school.

"Finished with your 'bliss' already?" Severus sneered.

"I wouldn't want to keep you from your work," Potter replied patiently. "I know that you probably have some potion or other that you're working on. I also know that you in no way want to be out here baby-sitting me. I'll ask if Madame Pomfrey will bring me out again tomorrow. Sorry to be such a bother." With that, he walked briskly into the castle.

Severus was dumbfounded. Did Potter just _apologize_ to him for being a bother? Severus was thoroughly confused by the encounter. Potter was nothing like he had assumed. It troubled him that all of his assumptions about Potter had been destroyed by one fifteen-minute walk. Perhaps the boy was not himself today. He _had_ been exposed to Crucio not 20 hours before. It was possible that he was still being affected by the experience. His knowledge about the beetle could not be explained away so easily.

Of course, it was possible that Potter had been studying, but the Spinster Poison Beetle wasn't covered until advance seventh-year potions. Potter was entering his fifth year. It was logical to assume that Potter shouldn't know about that particular ingredient.

He walked back to his dungeons and attempted to resume reading his book. Unfortunately, he couldn't get his little walk with Potter out of his head. Damn the boy for getting into his head. Damn the boy for being deeper than his stupid scar. _Damn_ the boy for being so much like his mother.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks again to my wonderful beta, Victoria Ennis. Here's to you, love!** _raises glass_** Thanks also to…**

**Starangel2106: Good to have you back, deary. I hope you enjoy as much now as you did before.**

**Sliver of Melody: I would have to agree with you there. Mike is most definitely a loser.**

**Ktoddhim: I'm most glad to hear that. If you happen to have 'New Threat' saved, you might consider sending it to me, just to make sure that you don't have more than I do here. I would be most obliged.**

**Rosiegirl: I'm sorry, but I was most thorough in my disposal of works. The only reason this is going back up is because I have been barraged with emails asking for it. I'm glad you've enjoyed it.**

**Monica85: Four times? Seriously? **_blushes_** I feel truly honored by that. I hadn't realized it was that good. You humble me, m'dear, truly you do.**

**IceQueenNabiki: I thought it seemed like something Albus would take a liking to. He's an odd old man, don't you agree?**


	4. Rommates

**Chapter Four**

**Roommates**

**ONE**

Harry was sitting in the hospital wing two days later, wondering when he was going to be allowed to leave. Madame Pomfrey insisted on keeping him until he didn't feel any more pain, but as he was experiencing the curses every night, it didn't look like he would be leaving any time soon.

His walk with Snape had lent a feeling of uncertainty and disappointment in the Potions Master. He found it disconcerting to think that Snape couldn't see the beauty and peace of nature. Snape seemed to think that he, Harry, was rather insane to feel at peace just from listening to the wind and wildlife in its prime. Harry found that he didn't care what Snape thought of him. He loathed the man more now than he did before. As he sat on his bed musing, the door of the dormitory opened and Dumbledore walked in with a reluctant looking Snape.

"Hello, Harry," Dumbledore said pleasantly, though he didn't make eye contact with Harry. This was, in fact, the first time Harry had seen the headmaster since he arrived at Hogwarts.

"Hello, sir," Harry replied, watching Snape closely. Snape was hovering behind Dumbledore looking as though he would like nothing better than to escape through the door.

"I'm sure that you're wondering why we've come," Dumbledore said," so I won't delay in telling you. I feel that keeping you in the hospital wing will serve no real purpose other than driving you mad. It would be very irresponsible for me to send you back to Gryffindor Tower alone. I've decided that it would be best for you to stay with a teacher."

Comprehension and horror began to dawn on Harry as he watched Snape fidget uncomfortably behind Dumbledore.

"I believe it would be for the best, " Dumbledore went on, "if you stay with Professor Snape for the time being."

"Why Professor Snape?" Harry asked. "Isn't there anyone else?"

"Am I not good enough for you, Potter?" Snape snarled menacingly.

"It's not that, sir," Harry replied. "It's just that… well, you and I don't really get along."

Dumbledore chuckled and Snape scowled, but said nothing. Harry's statement was undeniable.

"I had considered that, Harry," Dumbledore stated. "However, Professor Snape is the only teacher at this school qualified to take care of your particular symptoms."

Harry sighed in defeat. He knew that Dumbledore was right. He had seen Snape being tortured the previous night. Snape was the only person who would have a ready supply of the potions Harry would need to counteract the pain.

"You do see my point, don't you, Harry?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, sir," Harry replied.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "I'll leave you to it!" He turned and exited the ward in a rush of billowing midnight blue robes.

Harry turned his eyes on Snape and was amazed by the emotion in his beetle black eyes. Snape looked concerned…

**TWO**

Severus found himself wondering how much the boy knew about him. Potter's green eyes were shining with something akin to understanding and Severus was worried that Potter had shared in his pain from the previous night.

_FLASHBACK_

_Severus was in his laboratory brewing a fresh batch of his Inhibiting Potion when the Dark Mark on his arm began to burn._

"_Curse that brute for his bad timing!" Severus muttered, leaving his potion to be ruined for lack of attention. He would have to go to the apothecary for ingredients before he could start again._

_He went into his chambers to retrieve his black Death Eater robes and his mask, and then proceeded out of the castle to the Apparition Point. He put on his mask, pulled the black hood of his robes over his head, and Apparated to the Riddle House to meet with the Dark Lord._

"_Ah," the Dark Lord said as soon as Severus' feet touched the ground. "So good of you to come."_

"_My Lord," Severus muttered, bending to the ground and kissing the hem of the Dark Lord's robes. "I am sorry for my tardiness."_

"_Your circumstances are understandable," the Dark Lord replied, waving a dismissive hand. "Strange events have come to my knowledge that I want explained to me."_

_A ripple of nervousness went through the assembled Death Eaters at that statement._

"_It seems that young Harry Potter has been taken back to Hogwarts early," the Dark Lord said calmly._

'This cannot be good news for me_,' Severus thought nervously._

_The Dark Lord turned his evil red eyes to Severus and observed him quietly. "Is this true, Severus?" he asked._

"_Yes, my Lord," Severus replied, bowing slightly._

"_And why did you not inform me before now?" the Dark Lord asked menacingly._

"_My Lord," Severus said, casting around for a bluff. "Dumbledore has been keeping an annoyingly close watch on me. I could not get away."_

"_I will not tolerate these excuses!" the Dark Lord snapped, starting to sound irritated. He pointed his wand at Severus and said, "Crucio!"_

_Severus fell to the ground screaming and writhing as his very bones felt as though they had caught fire. Just as he felt sure that he would die from the pain, the Dark Lord removed the curse._

"_You will keep me updated on what the little pest is doing," the Dark Lord ordered._

"_Yes, my Lord," Severus replied, his voice hoarse from screaming._

"_And just so you don't forget what will happen if you displease me again," the Dark Lord went on. He raised his wand to Severus again. "Crucio!"_

_The searing pain returned and seemed to last longer this time. Afterwards, the meeting broke up and Severus went back to the castle and collapsed on his couch, completely exhausted._

_END FLASHBACK_

"Sir?" Potter asked, sounding rather uncertain.

"Where are your things, Potter?" Severus asked irritably. He didn't like that Potter made him relive the torture he had endured. Never mind that the boy couldn't possibly know that he had that effect.

Potter pointed to a spot on the other side of his bed.

"Is everything packed?" Severus asked.

"Yes, sir," Potter replied. He was being strangely polite and meek. Severus couldn't understand it. "Are we going now then?"

"No, Potter," Severus sneered. "I thought we'd wait until after you took your O.W.L.s."

"No need to be nasty, sir," Potter replied patiently, getting out of bed. He wavered slightly and put his hand on the bed to steady himself. He stood quite still for a moment and then moved to the other side of the bed. He knelt down and issued a soft hiss of pain at the movement.

Severus pulled a red potion from inside his robes and moved closer to Potter. He held out the potion and said, "Drink this."

Potter turned and eyed the potion curiously. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's a pain killer," Severus replied shortly.

Potter stood slowly, clutching a pair of jeans and a red jumper, and took the potion from Severus' hands. He drank it in one gulp like a shot of whiskey and handed back the empty vial.

"Will you excuse me while I dress?" Potter asked politely.

Only then did Severus notice that Potter was wearing a rather big and faded pair of pajamas. Severus glared slightly and left the dormitory to wait in the hall. After quite a few moments, the door opened and Potter stepped out looking rather euphoric.

"That potion you gave me made me sleepy, sir," Potter said slowly, as though talking took some effort.

"Come along, Potter," Severus said. "I haven't all day to stand about and chit-chat."

**THREE **

Harry followed Snape quietly; stumbling on occasion due to the painkiller Snape had given him. He was feeling rather disoriented, but all traces of the pain were gone from him. They proceeded down into the bowels of the castle, passed the potions classroom and the corridor where Harry knew the Slytherin dorms to be. Just when Harry was sure he would drop, they stopped walking.

"Listen carefully, Potter," Snape said, "because I'm not saying it twice. Snidget!"

Harry wondered briefly what Snape was talking about when the wall in front of them split and opened, revealing Snape's private quarters. Harry found it amusing that Snape's password was 'Snidget' but decided not to comment.

"These are my rooms," Snape told Harry. There was a large fireplace in front of which sat a brown leather couch and two matching chairs. A door across the room stood open revealing Snape's bedroom. On the right side of the room were a small kitchen and a round dining table. A blonde man Harry didn't recognize was sitting at the table reading _The Daily Prophet_. He was wearing a pair of black leather pants and a black silk shirt. If Harry had met this man outside of Hogwarts, he would have thought him to be a Muggle.

"Michael!" Snape barked. The blonde looked up and spotted Harry.

"Hello," Michael said, his eyes scanning Harry's hairline.

"I thought I told you to skive off this afternoon," Snape said to Michael.

"I wanted to meet our houseguest," Michael replied pleasantly.

"_My _houseguest does not appreciate being goggled at as though he were some rare magical beast, Mike," Snape sneered.

"Very well, Severus," Mike said, folding up his paper. "It was nice to meet you, Harry." He stood and moved to the door.

"Likewise," Harry replied. Mike left the room with a smile.

Snape made a low irritated noise in his throat and said, "don't ask."

Harry had, indeed, been about to ask who Mike was. He nodded and followed Snape to the opposite side of the room. Harry saw another door there, but could tell that it had a Disillusionment Charm on it. The charm was well done, but such things didn't often work on Harry.

Snape opened this door and stood aside for Harry to enter. The room very much resembled the Gryffindor common room, except it was rather smaller. There was a comfortable looking red couch in front of a large fireplace. There was a large desk against the far wall and an empty bookcase waiting to be filled. On the right side were two closed doors.

"The fist door is a lavatory," Snape said. "The second is your bedroom. I'll leave you to get settled." He stepped out and closed the door sharply.

Harry walked to the bedroom and opened the door. There was a large four-poster bed with heavy velvet curtains that looked suspiciously like his bed in Gryffindor Tower. On the left of the bed was a large wardrobe next to which sat Harry's trunk. There was a night table on either side of the bed. On the right side was a door that presumably led into the lavatory.

Harry walked to the bed and laid on top of the covers, fully dressed, and fell straight to sleep.

**FOUR **

It had been 20 minutes since Potter had disappeared into his room. Severus was organizing the ingredients he had bought that morning in order to begin again on his potion. He needed to make twice as much as he usually did because Potter needed at least one dose everyday. As he logged the dragon's blood into his book, the door to his chamber opened and Mike stepped in.

"Is it safe now?" he asked playfully.

"Quiet!" Severus hissed. "I think the boy is sleeping."

Mike came in fully and sat on the couch with his arms stretched over the back. "Why's the boy here, anyway?" he asked. "It's going to make it hard to have sex with him right next door."

"You are narrow minded," Severus said distastefully, logging in his powdered bicorn horn. "Potter is not well. He needs potions on a regular basis, so he's come to live with a potions master. It makes perfect sense."

"I don't understand how you can stand to share your living space with a snively teenager."

"If there are snively teenagers, Potter is not one of them."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were fond of Harry Potter."

Severus leveled an icy glare at Mike. "I am not going to justify that with a retort. If you don't mind, I am _attempting_ to log my potions ingredients. If you would be so kind as to _shut up,_ and _let me work_ I would be most _grateful._"

"Fine!" Mike snapped, standing up. "Owl me once you've decided that I'm worthy of your precious time!" He walked out quickly.

"Damn him," Severus muttered quietly and resumed his logging.

**FIVE**

_Harry found himself in the graveyard again, though something was different this time. The sun was setting and the dying trees cast eerie shadows in the strong orange light._

_Harry was pacing in front of two masked Death Eaters. He was very happy about something. He looked down and found that he was higher from the ground than he was used to being. His hands were not his, but those of Voldemort._

"_It is good that Potter has been moved into Severus' quarters," Harry said, Voldemort's cold high voice issuing from Harry's mouth._

"_Shall I tell Snape to kill him, my Lord?" one of the Death Eaters asked._

"_Fool!" Harry yelled. "I would lose my best tool! Crucio!" _

_Although Harry cast the spell, he could feel the full effects of it as though he were the victim. _

"_Severus must remain a spy," Harry said after the curse was lifted. "No. What I need is to lure Potter away from the school and kill him once and for all."_

"_How can we do that?" the second Death Eater asked._

_Harry laughed coldly. "Severus can do it for us. Malfoy!"_

"_Yes, my master?" a third Death Eater said from the shadows._

"_Have your son deliver the message to Snape at the start of the new school year."_

"_Yes, my Lord," Malfoy said obediently._

"_Potter will die this time," Harry said. "If he is not lured away by the first of October, give this to your son from me. Crucio!"_

_Harry screamed in agony as Lucius Malfoy fell to the ground._

"Potter!" Snape's voice was calling from what seemed a great distance.

Harry's whole body was shaking violently as he opened his eyes. The pain was nearly unbearable, though the curse had ended. He found a potion vial being pressed to his lips and drank the contents without question. The shaking subsided and Harry was left with a mild sense of nausea and a dull throbbing pain in his muscles.

"He's… going to… kill me," Harry said, his breathing labored.

"No one here will allow him to get that close," Snape assured him. "How many times did you feel the curse?"

"Twice," Harry replied, blinking against the searing pain in his scar. "He's still up to something though."

Snape tightened his hold on Harry and only then did Harry realize that he was in Snape's lap. He was too exhausted to protest this. Then, quite without warning, his whole body felt as though it had caught fire. He felt a terrible pain as though his soul was being ripped out and a great green light filled his vision. He could vaguely hear Snape in the background asking what was happening. After what seemed an eternity, the pain subsided, leaving Harry weak and shaking.

"He's just killed someone," he said quietly. His voice was very hoarse from all of the screaming he had done that night.

Snape's arms tightened around him again and Harry found himself feeling grateful for Snape's presence. He felt surprisingly comforted in Snape's warm embrace.

"You can feel Avada Kedavra?" Snape asked. He seemed to be forcing his voice to remain steady.

Harry nodded, but stopped quickly because it hurt his head. "I never thought anything could hurt more than Crucio." He gave a hollow, mirthless laugh. "I was wrong."

"I'll find a way to block it, Potter," Snape said. Harry found himself thinking that having Snape for a roommate might not be so bad after all.

* * *

**Author's Note: Once again, thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this chapter. Thanks also to…**

**Monica85: Thanks you so much for that. It makes me smile.**

**Starangel2106: I quite agree.**

**Ktoddhim: I will, of course, send you my email addy. Not a problem, m'dear.**

**Rosiegirl: _raises right hand_ "the next time I decide to go into a deletion frenzy, I will first put my stories on a disk and hide it so that I can recover my stories when the nagging from my loving readers becomes unbearable." Hehehe**

**Hambares: I've caught the other sites up to this one with the chapters. If you're interested in the smut scenes, that's where they'll be. **

**Medicated Drama Queen: Why thank you, m'dear. I agree about the Dursleys. That's the reason I made them the way I did in this story.**

**Animegurl088: This story is written in full, so there should be a chapter a day going up, unless I am indisposed. Thanks for the review.**

**Smurff: I quite agree. It's always "James" this and "James" that. Lily has to be in there somewhere. I mean, he _is_ her kid too.**

**Zoeybell**

**Jkh1: No problem.**

**Nicky12330: thanks, I guess.**

**Purplepaper**

**Clodia: Harry has just decided that being immature is beneath him. His mood swings quite a bit at the beginning here because I think someone suffering that much on a regular basis would be rather unpredictable. It's just my take on things. As for his knowledge, he's going to become a right little know-it-all soon. He's decided that if he's going to win, he has first to learn.**

**Sliver of Melody: Hehehehe. He's been around for longer than you think. He's desperate because after several years, Severus is still rather ambivalent towards him. _dramatic sigh _I suppose that much rejection would make anyone desperate.**


	5. Vents and Potions

**Chapter Five**

**Vents and Potions**

**ONE **

Severus held Potter until the boy finally fell back into a restless sleep. Potter didn't talk in the time it took him to become more relaxed, but Severus didn't need him to. Potter talked in his sleep.

After gently placing the boy under the bedclothes, Severus cast a simple bonding spell. He needed to talk to Albus, but he also needed to know if Potter was afflicted by any more curses while Severus was away. He looked at Potter for a moment, wondering if the boy ever truly found peace. Even in his sleep, Potter's features were drawn with worry.

Severus shook himself out of his thoughts and quickly exited his rooms. He walked quickly, his robes billowing as though in reflection of his irritation. As he reached Albus' office, Severus paused to compose himself before entering. He smoothed his hair down and took a deep breath.

"Sugar Quills!" he said, and the stone gargoyle came to life,springing to the side to revealthe moving stone staircase. Severus mounted the stairs and allowed them to carry him slowly toward Albus' office. Just as Severus raised his hand to knock, Albus' voice rang out cheerfully from the other side.

"Come in, Severus!" he cried.

"Severus scowled, wondering how Albus did that, and opened the door.

"Come in, come in!" Albus said. "Would you care for some tea, or a sherbet lemon?"

"No thank you, Albus," Severus replied shortly, seating himself in front of the wizened old wizard. "I've come to tell you something."

"To business, then," Albus said, popping a sherbet lemon into his mouth.

"The Dark Lord knows that Potter is staying in my rooms," Severus said without preamble.

"And how would he know that?" Albus asked calmly, selecting another candy from his pile.

"Michael," Severus replied distastefully. "He is the only person who could have told him."

"I see," Albus said, sipping some tea. "You told me that Michael did not have direct contact with Voldemort."

Severus hissed softly at the sound of the Dark Lord's name, but knew better than to comment. " I have never allowed him to receive the Mark, nor do I allow him near the Dark Lord," he said. "It may be that he leaked the information in an attempt to gain trust."

"Well," Dumbledore said, now munching on a cracker. "If Voldemort knows, there is nothing we can do about that. Are you certain that he knows?"

"Yes," Severus replied, beginning to become irritated. "Potter had another vision this evening. The Dark Lord wishes for me to lure Potter away from the castle by the first of October."

"Has Harry been talking in his sleep?" Albus asked, selecting another sherbet lemon.

"Yes."

"And how was he speaking? Did he sound like an observer?"

"No." Severus paused for a moment before going on. "He was speaking as though he _was _the Dark Lord."

Albus sat back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap. "It is as I feared, then," he said softly.

"Quite," Severus replied.

"You must keep a close watch on him, Severus," Albus said, turning his eyes to the ceiling. "He is going to suffer during this time."

"I've decided to try to find a potion that will suppress the curses before they happen."

"I think that will be a good idea. Is it your belief that Voldemort knows of his connection with Harry?"

"No, Albus," Severus replied firmly. "If he did, he would simply keep cursing people until Potter died."

"Yes," Albus said, mostly to himself. "Yes, you are right." He stood from his desk and walked Severus to the door. "I don't want you to break things off with Mike. It would seem suspicious. I will formulate a plan and get back to you about the first of October. Go and work on your potion and I will see you later."

"Very well, Albus," Severus said, sweeping out of the office.

**TWO **

Harry shot up in bed with the terrible feeling of being watched. He turned to his left and saw someone sitting in the shadows. He snatched up his wand and said, "Lumos!" A light came on at the tip of the wand and illuminated a sheet of blonde hair and crystal gray eyes. Snape's friend, Mike, was sitting next to Harry's bed.

"Good evening, Mr. Potter," Mike said gently. "Did you sleep well?"

"What are you doing in here?" Harry asked in reply. He noted that Mike was sitting in a large cushiony chair that hadn't been there when Harry had gone to bed. Mike was idly twirling his wand in his left hand.

"Oh," Mike said carelessly. "Severus said that you weren't feeling well. I decided to keep an eye on you to make sure that you're all right." He smiled and his teeth twinkled in the light from Harry's wand.

"Well," Harry said, forcing himself to sound cordial. "I feel fine just now. Thanks though."

Mike continued to smile and said nothing, nor did he make any motions to indicate that he was leaving.

"You can go now," Harry said. "I'll be fine by myself."

Mike didn't move.

Harry was considering hexing the man when the lamps came on. He turned and found Snape standing in the doorway, looking livid.

He crossed the room and roughly dragged Mike out of the chair.

"What do you think you are doing?" Snape hissed.

"I was keeping an eye on him for you," Mike said innocently.

"Go to my sitting room and wait for me there," Snape said in a deadly tone.

Mike cast Harry another smile and stalked out of the room. Snape wheeled around to look at Harry.

"What did he do?" he asked sharply.

The question took Harry rather by surprise. "Nothing," he said honestly. "He just startled me a bit, that's all."

"Stay here," Snape said and swept out of the room.

Harry's curiosity got the better of him and he crept out of bed to listen. He could hear Snape's voice drifting in through the open door.

"What in bloody Hell did you think you were doing?" Snape was asking angrily.

"I was only curious, Severus," Mike replied lightly.

Snape gave a hollow laugh. "Do you think me a fool? I know your ambition to be initiated into our ranks is second to none. You want a piece of the glory that will come from bringing Potter in to our master."

"How do you know about that?" Mike asked suspiciously.

"The world knows our Lord wants Potter dead!" Snape snapped irritably. "You keep this up and you will blow my cover! Dumbledore already suspects something! Do you want to end up as a casualty?"

"No," Mike replied. He sounded resentful now.

"I know you have a taste for youth, Mike," Severus said coldly. "But if you know what's good for you, you'll keep your wanker in your pants and leave the boy to me!"

Harry felt a pang of repulsion at the thought of Mike touching him.

"You are confusing me with Lucius," Mike replied, equally cold. "Although young Mr. Potter is very… desirable, I would never _dream_ of touching him."

"You forget your place, Mike," Snape said. "You are not a Death Eater yet, nor will you be until _I_ tell our master that you are ready. You are only a Vent. A toy. You are nothing more that my plaything at this moment, and if you value your life you won't go into Potter's room again."

There was a drawn out, extremely uncomfortable silence in the room.

"Do I make myself clear?" Snape asked after some time.

"Yes," Mike replied grudgingly.

"Yes, what?" Snape pressed nastily. Harry could practically see Snape's glare in his mind's eye.

"Yes, my Caretaker," Mike replied now sounding small and defeated.

"Good," Snape spat. "I have let you treat this like a normal relationship, but if you go against me again, I will turn you into a slave! Now get out of my sight!"

"Severus," Mike said meekly.

"What?"

"Why do you treat me like a boyfriend and not a Vent?"

"Do not ask questions! Just be grateful that you are not Lucius' Vent. You can't _do_ any better than me, so I suggest that you keep me happy."

"Yes, Severus."

"Now get out, and don't come back until you are called."

There were shuffling feet and the sound of a door opening and closing. Harry crept back to his bed and waited.

**THREE **

Severus sat down heavily on his couch, knowing that Potter probably heard the whole argument. The Dark Lord's followers who wished to become Death Eaters, first had to act as Vents in order to prove their loyalty.

The Vents were offered to Death Eaters as gifts. Only a Death Eater could decide if their Vent was worthy of receiving the Mark. It was a sign of how insignificant the Dark Lord found his followers.

Mike had been Severus' Vent for ages, though they hadn't seen each other for nearly 14 years. The Vents came back to their Caretakers after the Dark Lord had risen again the previous June. Severus had always allowed Mike to treat theirs like a real relationship because Severus had never liked the idea of having a Vent, as though he needed help finding a lover. He even allowed Mike to dump him on several occasions, though Mike always came back in the end. Mike was very ambitious, and lost so deeply in the Dark Arts that Severus had lost all hope for Mike's salvation.

Severus rubbed his face absently, knowing that Potter was waiting for explanations. He resigned himself to the inevitable and walked to Potter's bedroom. Sure enough, when he entered, he found himself under Potter's intense green gaze. Severus sat on the chair Mike had conjured and waited for the questions to come, but none did.

Potter gazed at him curiously, but said nothing.

"Are you certain that he didn't touch you?" Severus asked after several moments of silence.

"Yes, sir," Potter replied.

"Do you have any questions for me?" Severus asked.

Potter looked taken aback for a moment, but composed himself quickly. "What's a Vent?" he asked.

Severus took a deep breath. "A sex slave," he replied heavily.

"Why are they called 'Vents'?"

"Because they are used by Death Eaters to 'vent' all of their frustrations."

"Do all Death Eaters have Vents?"

"Most of them, but not all."

"And why did Mike call you his caretaker?"

"That is the title that was chosen for those of us with a Vent."

"Why Caretaker, though? Why not master, or something along those lines?"

"Because the Dark Lord does not want anyone to be called 'master' but himself."

"What happens to the Vents once their Caretakers get tired of them?"

"The Death Eater will hand his Vent to the Dark Lord and give his 'report'."

"What does that mean?"

"The Vents want to be Death Eaters. The Dark Lord leaves it to us to decide if our Vents are worthy to take the Mark."

"So does that mean that Draco Malfoy is a Vent?"

"Yes."

Potter fell silent and watched Severus apprehensively for a moment.

"Just _ask_, Potter," Severus said wearily.

"Were you a… a Vent once?" Potter asked slowly, as if expecting an explosion.

Severus had expected the question and did not hesitate in responding. "Yes," he said.

"Who…" Potter started.

Severus had also been expecting this question and cut Potter off. "Lucius Malfoy."

Potter again fell silent. He looked down at his lap as though ashamed of something.

"Potter," Severus said delicately. "You don't have to look so distraught. I knew what I was doing."

Potter shook his head slowly. "I shouldn't have pried."

"You didn't pry," Severus said firmly. "If I didn't want to tell you, I wouldn't have."

"Who is Draco's Caretaker?" Potter asked quietly, sounding rather disturbed by the whole discussion.

Severus wasn't certain he should answer that question. Draco's life was not his to divulge, however, he knew that Potter would never let on that he knew anything. Potter would most likely find out from his visions, as Draco had already been set to receive the Mark on his seventeenth birthday.

"Lucius Malfoy," Severus replied at last.

Potter looked up, startled. "He's using his own son as a sex slave?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Lucius is a sick, twisted individual," Severus replied distastefully. "He finds it amusing that he can subject his son to his kinky fantasies."

"Can Vents change their minds?" Potter asked, wringing his hands in his lap.

"They can," Severus said slowly, "but Draco enjoys it too much. He's almost as twisted as his father, if not more so."

"What's Mike going to do now?"

"He will do as I say. He wants to become a Death Eater. His initiation into their ranks depends upon my good graces. He won't cross me again."

Potter nodded silently.

"Do you have any other questions?" Severus asked.

"Just one," Potter replied.

"Yes?"

"Do you enjoy being a Caretaker?"

"No. I loathe the whole system, which is why I allow Mike to behave as he pleases. I'm afraid that I will need to tighten the reigns after tonight, though. He cannot be permitted to get too close."

"Oh. Okay."

"And now I have a question for you," Severus said.

"Okay," Potter replied.

"Why did you wait for permission to ask questions?"

"Because…" Potter faltered for a moment. He took a deep breath before going on. "Because the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys is 'don't ask questions.' "

Severus felt a great deal of anger at the thought of Potter's poor excuse for a family. "Yes, well," he said. "_I_ am not a Dursley. If ever you have an important question you can feel free to ask me."

"Thank you, sir," Potter said quietly.

Severus stood up abruptly. "Good night," he said shortly and stalked out of the room. Discussion of Potter's relatives put him in a bad mood, and Potter's meekness was not helping things. This was the boy who snapped back at him in class. This boy spoke the Dark Lord's name without fear and pulled his friends from danger time and again. He wasn't _supposed_ to be afraid to ask questions. He wasn't _supposed_ to act small and weak with his most hated teacher. Severus went to his sitting room, pulled down his potions notebook, and began making notes to create the most complicated potion he had ever attempted.

* * *

**Author's Note: I would like to thank Victoria Ennis for looking over this for me. I would also like to thank…**

**Monica85**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Smurff**

**Mariana**

**Leeleepotter: Thanks for the boost, love. I like the quotes you picked.**

**Purplepaper: Don't worry overmuch about Michael. He'll be out of the way soon enough.**

**Jenonymous: I always appreciate advise that could help my writing, but if you could refrain from using your arrogant tone and insulting words when offering said advise, I would be most grateful. Thank you.**


	6. Bad Memories and Paper Flowers

**Chapter Six**

**Bad Memories and Paper Flowers**

**ONE **

Four days after his confrontation with Mike, Severus was thoroughly annoyed. Potter was keeping himself confined in his bedroom, emerging on occasion to send his owl off to someone. The boy seemed almost shy after learning the nature of Severus and Mike's relationship. Mike was keeping away as Severus had ordered, but Severus _still_ couldn't figure out the key ingredient in his new potion.

Severus sat on his couch, going over his notes while he waited for Mike to arrive. He had decided that Mike had had enough time for thinking. Twenty minutes after being called, Mike came into Severus' quarters looking pristine. Severus ignored him and scribbled in his notebook. He made Mike wait a full five minutes before acknowledging him.

"Sit down, Mike," he said indifferently.

Mike sat in one of the leather chairs without comment.

"I hope that this will be the last time I have to punish you," Severus said, not looking up.

"I've learned my lesson, Caretaker," Mike said quietly.

"Good," Severus replied. "Don't call me 'Caretaker' when we are alone. 'Severus' is fine."

"Yes, Severus," Mike said.

"Good. Now, Lucius has invited us to a gathering. I want you in your finest dress robes for the occasion."

Mike nodded.

"The gathering will be held on Saturday at Lucius' estate," Severus went on. "Things between us can go back to the way they were now. Just remember your place in the future."

"I will, Severus," Mike replied. He got up and walked over to Severus, kneeling on the floor in front of the older man. He ran his hands over the outside of Severus' thighs.

Severus watched his Vent quietly as Mike turned apologetic eyes on him. Mike continued to rub Severus' thighs as they looked at each other silently.

"Let me make it up to you," Mike purred seductively. "What do you want me to do?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Do what you want," he said.

"I want to take you, right here on the couch," Mike said.

"As appealing as that sounds," Severus deadpanned. "You seem to have forgotten that I have a teenaged house guest who would be none too thrilled if he walked through and saw his Potions professor having sex with his male lover."

Mike made a sour face.

"I would be glad to take you into the bedroom though," Severus said, restraining a chuckle.

Mike leaned up from his position on the floor and gently pressed his lips to Severus'. Severus felt Mike's tongue skirt across his bottom lip and opened his mouth slightly. They deepened the kiss, Mike allowing Severus to retain dominance.

Severus pulled away and lifted Mike into his lap. He then carried the blonde into the bedroom and closed the door, placing Mike on the bed.

"How do you want me, Mike?" Severus asked. It was very rare for him to give up control in his sexual encounters. By doing so, he was letting Mike know that he was forgiven.

"On your back," Mike replied in a low voice. Severus did as he was told and waited for Mike to continue. Mike straddled Severus and began to take off his own shirt slowly. He bent down and started on the buttons of Severus' robes. As the robes fell away, Severus' bare chest was revealed. Mike started kissing down Severus' stomach, removing clothing as he went. Soon both men were naked.

"Touch me, Severus," Mike said as he leaned over to reach the lubricant. Severus complied and began to explore Mike's toned body with his hands. Mike kissed every inch of skin he could find and then pulled Severus' arms toward the head of the bed. He held Severus' arms by the wrists as he began to prepare Severus for him.

As Severus tried to move his arms, his mind went back to a time when things were not so passionate. He could feel burning ropes on his wrists, cutting into his skin as he tried to get free. A cold sweat broke out over his body he was taken without preparation or consent, and all he could see was the blonde hair and cruel gray eyes of Lucius Malfoy. He lashed out in fear.

"No!" he cried, and threw the imposing body to the floor. He sat bolt upright in the bed and put his face in his hands, hiding from the memories that were consuming him.

"Severus?" a concerned voice asked from somewhere to Severus' right.

Obsidian eyes opened to find concerned gray eyes staring back.

"Are you all right, Severus?" Mike asked.

Severus took a deep breath and let it out shakily. "I'm fine," he said. "I'm sorry." All traces of his previous arousal were lost in intense fear. "I think you should leave."

"Okay, Severus," Mike said. He stood up and began to collect his clothes. He dressed quietly, casting furtive glances at Severus. "Good night," he said softly, and left without closing the bedroom door.

Severus sat for nearly ten minutes, trying to clear his mind of thoughts of his school days, but failing miserably. He was finally dragged from his thoughts by terrible screaming from Potter's room. Severus launched himself out of bed and grabbed his dressing gown, tying it as he walked. The screaming stopped just as he entered Potter's bedroom.

Potter was on the bed, conscious and whimpering, curled into a protective ball. Severus sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Potter into his lap.

"W-where were y-you?" Potter asked weakly.

"I came as soon as I heard you scream," Severus replied. He summoned a potion from Potter's night table and helped Potter to drink it. The shaking slowed, but didn't go away. Severus began to worry about nerve damage.

"It hurts," Potter said quietly.

"Sh," Severus cooed. "Try to sleep."

Potter immediately pulled closer to Severus, shaking his head.

"No," he said. "I don't wanna sleep."

"Why ever not?"

"It hurts to sleep. Please don't make me sleep."

Severus pulled the boy closer protectively and found that he was holding Potter's hand. "I'll find a way, Harry," he said. "I'm already trying."

Potter moved slightly and gave Severus a strange look.

"What's wrong?" Severus asked.

"You said my name," Potter replied.

"I _always _use your name, Potter,"Severus said with the air of one explaining that one and one equals two.

"No," Potter sighed. "You said 'Harry'. You called me 'Harry'."

_Did I? _Severus stared at Harr – er – Potter. "So sorry," he said after a moment of bewildered silence.

"No," Potter said. "I like it better that way. Please don't keep calling me 'Potter'."

"Does it really bother you that much?"

"Yes," Potter replied. "It does."

Severus looked at Harry closely, reading the lingering pain in the boy's eyes.

"Okay, Pot – Harry," he said at last. "I'll try to remember."

Pot – Harry began to relax into Severus' arms and Severus began to lower the boy onto the bed. To his surprise, Potter's hands flew to his dressing gown and gripped tightly.

"Don't put me down," Harry whimpered. He pulled himself closer to Severus' body, pulling the fabric away from Severus' chest.

Potter started a little and looked up again. "You're not wearing anything," he said.

"I am wearing a dressing gown, Harry," Severus said with a little amusement.

Potter shrugged and buried his head in Severus' chest.

"I can't sit here all night, Pot – er – Harry," Severus said.

"I don't care what you do," Harry said sleepily. "Just don't leave me alone."

Severus had a short internal struggle. He wanted to comfort Harry, but he didn't want to cross any lines. He made a decision he knew he'd regret later and carried Pot – Harry to his own room. He placed Harry on the bed and moved away quietly.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked, sounding small and far away.

"I need to put something on," Severus replied gently. "I'll be right back."

"Hm," Potter said, and snuggled into Severus' pillows comfortably. Severus smiled in spite of himself. He slipped into a pair of black pajamas (with a top) and got underneath Harry. Harry whimpered at his dream and Severus wrapped his arms around the boy protectively. He stayed up most of the night, finally finding sleep near dawn.

**TWO **

_Harry was lying in a field of colorful paper flowers. He was on his back, staring at a purple sky full of clouds that seemed to be made from candy. He turned his head and saw trees on the opposite side of the field. He stood and walked to one of these and found that all of the leaves were lollipops. The sun came up from behind a cloud and Harry felt himself engulfed in warmth . . ._

Harry slowly woke up feeling safe and warm, the comforting beat of a strong heart in his ears. The beat of a strong…

Harry jerked awake with a nasty jolt. He found himself looking down at the sleeping from of Professor Severus Snape. Snape was wearing black cotton pajamas and looking like he was on cloud nine.

Harry began to panic slightly, barely able to recall the events that had led him to be in Snape's bed. He slowly crawled off of Snape so as not to wake his teacher. Once out of the bed he backed up into a corner, frozen by a sense of panic. He had abused Snape's position as his temporary guardian and was sure that once Snape woke up, he, Harry, would be sent back to Madame Pomfrey for the remainder of the summer. Harry sank to the floor, unable to take his eyes from the bed, though he could no longer see Snape.

After about five minutes, he heard Snape groan a bit.

"It figures," Snape said groggily. "Ungrateful brat."

_Oh God, he hates me, _Harry thought. He started to rock slightly. _He's gone out of his way to help me and I took advantage of him. He's right. I am an ungrateful brat. I don't deserve his help._

Harry stared with wide eyes as Snape sat up and caught sight of him. Snape said something, but all Harry could hear was his own heart pounding in his ears.

Snape got out of bed and came over to Harry's corner. Harry followed Snape's progress with his eyes unblinkingly. Snape was saying something again, but Harry's panicked brain couldn't pick it up.

"I'm sorry, sir," Harry said in a rush. "I didn't mean to impose! I was just in so much pain last night, and I wasn't thinking clearly! Please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean to…"

"Harry, stop!" Snape said gently. "I'm not angry."

Harry continued to mumble his apologies quietly as Snape pulled him into a hug. Harry grabbed the material of Snape's pajama shirt into his fist.

"Sh," Snape said. "It's all right. You'll be all right."

"You're not angry?" Harry asked.

"No," Snape said in a kind voice Harry wasn't used to. "Why should I be?"

"I took advantage of your hospitality," Harry replied. "I've been nothing but a burden."

"That's nonsense," Snape said. "This is the Dark Lord's doing. I'll find a way to make the pain stop, Harry. I promise." Snape tightened his hold on Harry and Harry finally felt a small sense of peace settle over him at last.

"Thank you, Professor," he said.

**THREE **

Severus woke when the warm weight on his chest vanished. For a moment he thought that he must have been dreaming, but then he remembered Potter. Severus stretched his arms to the side and felt the empty expanse of his bed. He opened his eyes and found that the room was empty. He stretched and groaned at the pleasant sensation.

"It figures," he said, his voice slightly thick with sleep. "Ungrateful brat." _I allow him to sleep in my room and I don't even get so much as a '_thank you_'_

Severus put his arms under himself and pushed himself up into a sitting position. In the now visible corner, Severus could see Harry crouching. Harry's eyes were wide with fear and he was rocking back and forth, staring at Severus.

"Harry?" Severus asked. "What's wrong? Was it another nightmare?"

Harry didn't reply and continued to stare at Severus frightfully.

Severus' heart rate went up a bit. He eased out of bed and came around to Potter's corner.

"What's wrong, Pot – Harry?" Severus asked again. "Say something." Severus knelt down in front of the frightened boy.

Suddenly Harry began to speak in a rush. "I'm sorry, sir," he said. "I didn't mean to impose! I was just in so much pain last night, and I wasn't thinking clearly! Please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean to…"

"Harry, stop!" Severus interrupted. He was thoroughly confused by Harry's behavior. "I'm not angry."

Harry continued to rock, mumbling things like 'I'm sorry,' and 'Please don't hate me'. Severus felt a surge of anger toward the Dark Lord and protectiveness for the boy roll through his body. He pulled Harry into a tight embrace, trying to block out the fear and pain with his arms. Harry grabbed Severus' nightshirt and held on as though his life depended on it.

"Sh," Severus cooed gently, trying to make this panic stop. "It's all right. You'll be all right."

"You're not angry?" Harry mumbled into Severus' chest.

"No," Severus said sadly. He never imagined he would see Gryffindor's Golden Boy in such a vulnerable state. "Why should I be?"

"I took advantage of your hospitality," Harry replied quickly. "I've been nothing but a burden."

Severus felt another wave of anger at the self-reproachful tone Harry spoke in. "That's nonsense," he said, forcing his voice into a gentle tone. "This is the Dark Lord's doing. I'll find a way to make the pain stop, Harry. I promise." Severus unconsciously pulled Harry closer, running through his new potion in his mind. He was still missing something, but he couldn't think what it was. Just as he was starting to feel the familiar frustration, Harry's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Thank you, Professor," he said.

Severus simply held Harry and didn't reply. _I _do not_ care for this boy! _He told himself firmly. _I am simply following instructions. He means nothing to me._

Harry made a backwards motion and Severus backed away to give the boy space.

Harry stood up and looked at the floor, tugging his shirt down with one hand and running the other through his hair. He began to laugh hysterically and didn't stop for several minutes. When he got control over himself, he sniffled a little bit. "I'm sorry, sir," he said. He tugged at his shirt again and still didn't look at Severus.

"For what?" Severus asked. Potter had been subjected to _several _very _painful _curses over the last month and Severus was concerned for the boy's sanity.

"I've had a really bad summer," P – Harry replied. "I'm not usually like this, but my emotions are a little frazzled right now."

"That's understandable, Harry," Severus said quietly.

"Why are you calling me that?" Harry asked uncertainly. He was still determinedly not looking at Severus.

"What?" Severus asked with confusion.

"'Harry'," Harry replied. "You always call me 'Potter'."

Severus' concern increased slightly. "You made me promise to call you 'Harry'," he said. "Don't you remember?"

Harry laughed again. "Not actually," he said. "Last night is a bit… foggy. I'm not even certain how I got in here." At last, he took a furtive glance at his teacher.

"You were frightened of being left alone," Severus replied gently. "I couldn't sit on your bed all night, so I brought you here instead."

"You brought me…" Harry said with surprise.

"Yes," Severus said, quickly taking advantage of the situation. "So, you see, you weren't taking advantage of anything."

Potter began to pace. "Voldemort was angry last night," he said, rubbing his head absently. He didn't notice Severus hiss and recoil at the Dark Lord's name.

"Do not speak the Dark Lord's name!" Severus said.

Pot – Harry gave him an odd look and then continued to pace. "I can't remember why, though," he went on. "It's all lost in a haze. Some Death Eater failed to do something…" He trailed off uncertainly. He kept pacing and mumbling a bit.

"Harry," Severus said slowly. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," Harry said shortly. He looked down at his pajama-clad body and blushed slightly. "I think I'll go dress." He hurried out of the room.

Severus stared after him for a moment and then closed the door. He dressed in his usual black robes and then went out into the sitting room. Harry was on his couch with his face in his hands.

"Harry?" Severus said uncertainly.

"I don't know what to do," Harry said quietly. "I feel like the world's been flipped over."

"I've already started my research on the potion. I'm sure that I'll have the answer soon."

"Why are you doing this for me?" Potter asked, looking at Severus through red eyes.

"Because no one deserves what's happening to you," Severus replied.

Harry nodded and turned to the fire. "Can I just stay here with you today?"

Severus sighed. "I'm sorry to do this to you, Harry, but I have to go to a Death Eater party this evening. I want you to stay in the hospital…"

"No!" Harry interrupted. "Can't I just stay here? I don't want to go back up there."

"Very well," Severus conceded, "but I'm having Madame Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore check on you every fifteen minutes."

Harry looked extremely relieved. "Thank you, sir," he said. Severus wasn't certain, but he thought that the boy was becoming attached to him. Damn the Fates and their sick sense of humor!

* * *

**Author's Note: I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I didn't realize it was this short until now. Oh well, what's done is done and all that rot. Thank you to Victoria Ennis for looking this over. Thanks also to…**

**Starangel2106: Who doesn't?**

**Jenni: I'm glad you think so.**

**Rosiegirl: I'll be changing small things here and there, but for the most part it will remain the same.**

**Sliver of Melody: Mike will get his, not to worry.**

**Jenni: I've been updating once a day so far. I'm forcing myself to resist the urge to just post it all at once. What would be the fun in that? Hehehehe… enjoy!**

**Shadow Eclipse: I believe I took it down from AFF, but I shall check nevertheless. I'm glad you like.**

**Leeleepotter: I imagine Harry's mouth fell open and his eyes got wide, a blush creeping up his neck at the imaging. Of course, I could be giving Harry too much credit. Hehehe**

**Ktoddhim**

**Medicated Drama Queen: Don't worry about it. What reviews you give make me smile. I am changing a few things here and there, but the major stuff is staying the same. You are not imagining things, m'dear.**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Not to worry, love. Mike is not a permanent character here. Can't say more though. I would hate to give away the surprise. Hehehe**

**SilentWater13: Mike will get his, but I can't kill him. He comes in useful later on. He will not, however, always be around. Not to worry.**


	7. How Does He Do That?

**Chapter Seven**

**How Does He _Do _That?**

**ONE**

Harry spent most of the day studying, unwilling to think about the previous night. Snape was being unusually friendly, and kept looking in a black notebook and mumbling to himself. Harry was curious about that book, but decided that it would be better not to ask.

Around seven that evening, Snape came out of his bedroom dressed in black velvet dress robes.

"I am going now," he said. "I'll try to leave the gathering as soon as possible, but it will still be late."

"Yes, sir," Harry replied.

"I want you to stay here," Snape went on. "Don't go out into the castle by yourself. If you feel you _must _leave, make sure someone goes with you."

"Yes, sir," Harry said again.

"Have a good night," Snape said, moving to the door. Harry saw that Snape's hair was bound at his nape in a leather thong.

"You too, sir," Harry said. Snape left without looking back.

Harry stood in the center of the room, looking around. He was most curious about the kinds of books on Snape's bookshelf, so he walked over to it. Most of the books were advanced potions books or books about the Dark Arts. Harry pulled out random books and flipped through the pages, but didn't find anything overly interesting.

It was as he found a book that looked promising that it happened. Harry opened the book and found that it looked fairly interesting. He turned to go to the couch and looked up from the pages to see where he was going. His eyes fell on the black notebook that Snape had been poring over. It was lying on the coffee table, the glow of the fire reflecting off of the smooth black surface.

Harry knew that Snape would probably be angry if Harry went through the notebook, but curiosity got the better of him. Harry put the book he was holding back on the bookshelf and crossed the room to the coffee table. He picked up the notebook and turned to the first page.

"A potions notebook," he said to himself, glancing at the ingredients listed on the first page. "I should have known." Snape's handwriting was messy, but Harry's was worse so he had no trouble reading it. The first potion in the book was the Wolfsbane Potion. The writing was faded, but clear. This was the process Snape had gone through to create the potion that Lupin so relied on.

"Fascinating," Harry whispered, going over the trial and error format the notebook was written in. After some of the instructions there were comments written such as, 'it explodes when stirred that way' or 'do not add so much of the wolfsbane at once.'

Harry turned the pages slowly, reading over ingredients and the different effects that Snape had recorded in the little book. Harry saw that some of the potions were incomplete, Snape never having found key ingredients needed to make the potions work.

About half way through the nearly filled notebook, Harry found one called The Inhibiting Potion. Harry raised his eyebrow as he read the directions for it. He could practically _see _it change colors as the ingredients were added and meticulously stirred in.

"This is the potion he gives me when I'm hurt with Crucio," Harry said. He could picture the potion turning a vivid metallic blue as the crushed unicorn horn was added. "Amazing! How does he _do _that?"

Harry continued to peruse the notebook, fascinated by Snape's ability to create such useful potions. The time passed quickly, and Harry didn't notice the times when Madame Pomfrey or Dumbledore appeared in the fireplace to check on him.

Harry flipped the page as he neared the end of the book quite some time later and found something that surprised him.

**The Potter Curse Blocking Potion**

**I have recently taken charge of a boy who is affected by several damaging curses on a regular basis. This potion is being created to block the effects of those curses to save the boy's physical and mental well-being. I must not fail to find a way.**

As Harry read, his mind began to put it all together, picturing the reactions of this substance with that, and the effects of each on a particular symptom of his. Then it was like something clicked in his mind and he thought that he might be able to solve this puzzle.

"Of course!" he said, his eyes darting across the page as he pictured the potion frothing and changing in the cauldron. "Oh, it's so _simple_!"

He pointed his wand to his rooms. "Accio parchment!" he said, and a fresh roll of parchment came from his room and landed softly in his hand. "Accio quill!" His quill flew into his hand as well. "Accio ink!" The scarlet ink came in and Harry moved everything to the coffee table. He sat on the floor in front of it and began to scribble his own notes on the parchment…

**TWO**

Severus walked to the Apparition Point quickly, determined to return to Hogwarts as soon as possible. Mike was waiting for him, wearing loose silk dress robes. The spiked dog collar was just visible upon his neck. He had his hair pulled back into a loose braid that fell between his shoulder blades.

"You look good," Severus said. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, Caretaker," Mike replied, and they Apparated to Malfoy Manor together.

They appeared in front of large oak double doors, behind which music and chatter could be heard. Severus rang the bell and waited.

The doors opened and Lucius Malfoy smiled as he saw who it was. Draco was behind Lucius, wearing black velvet and a smooth leather dog collar attached to a matching leash, which Lucius held. Draco looked as though he were having the time of his life. Severus' stomach turned over at the thought.

"Severus!" Lucius exclaimed. "So good of you to come!"

"Hm," Severus replied.

"Come in. Enjoy," Lucius said, standing aside. Severus walked in and found that most of the Death Eaters were present. That is to say, there were about a dozen people there. The Dark Lord stood near a window on the opposite end, watching everything maliciously.

"So," Lucius said, coming to stand next to Severus. "What do you think of the turnout?" He put his hand on Severus' shoulder.

"Don't touch me, Lucius," Severus said coldly. "Macnair didn't come."

"Oh, come now, Sev," Lucius said airily, not removing his hand from Severus' shoulder. "Don't be cold. I'm only being friendly."

"Don't," Severus sneered. "Come, Michael." He walked away with Mike in tow and sat in one of the chairs near the far wall. He conjured a very soft pillow and placed it next to his chair. Mike sat on this and placed his hand on Severus' knee.

"Are you all right, Caretaker?" Mike asked after a moment. They were both looking out over the dance floor.

"I hate these parties," Severus replied.

"Let me ease your tension," Mike said, moving his hand up Severus' thigh.

"What did you have in mind?" Severus asked, moving Mike's hand back down to his knee.

Mike pouted slightly. "What do you want?" he asked.

"You know I despise public debauchery," Severus said, raising his eyebrow.

"Look around you, Sev," Mike said with a smile. "No one will notice."

"_Do not_ call me Sev," Severus said. He looked around and found that Mike was right, much to his disgust. Nearly everyone in the room was engaged in some form of sex. Severus sighed.

"I am _not_ them," Severus said at last.

"You're really putting a damper on things, Sev," Mike said sulkily.

Severus snatched up Mike's hand and squeezed it painfully. "I've told you to _never_ call me Sev! I will not lower my standards because you're horny, so stop asking!"

"I'm sorry, Caretaker," Mike whimpered, straining his hand against Severus' painful grip. "It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't," Severus said coldly, releasing Mike's hand.

"Yes, my Caretaker," Mike said fearfully. He placed his hand back on Severus' knee and didn't mention sex again.

Severus sat quietly, looking at everything around him with disgust. Draco was rocking more fervently on Lucius lap, and the four-way was becoming very loud, the sound grating on Severus' nerves. The Dark Lord was currently kissing the young red head fervently. The boy's Caretaker was standing nearby looking thoroughly pleased with himself. Severus closed his eyes and leaned back wearily, trying to block out the sounds of public lewdness around him. He began rubbing his temples irritably when he was interrupted by Lucius' aristocratic voice.

"Sev," Lucius said from Severus' left. Severus turned to look into Lucius' cruel and amused eyes. "You're sitting here like a stiff board." Draco was on a pillow much like Mike's, his cheeks slightly pinked from his recent excursions in incest with his father.

"Hm," Severus replied, looking out over the dance floor. A few people were dancing, and the young brunette was now giving her Caretaker a lap dance.

"If you're not going to take advantage of him, why don't you let _me_ play with your Vent for a little while?" Lucius asked. "I wouldn't mind a nice three-way."

"_No one_ touches my property," Severus replied coldly. "I don't like to share."

"Oh, you're not being courteous, Sev," Lucius said with irritation.

"I do not care what you think," Severus replied. "_You_ are being disgusting."

"I see," Lucius replied. "Well, if you're going to be so boring, I'll go find more interesting company."

"You do that," Severus said.

"Our Lord wishes to speak to you before you leave tonight, Sev," Lucius said, standing up. "Be sure that you are more courteous to him than you've been to me."

"Quite," Severus replied, watching Lucius walk away with great dislike. After several more minutes of obligatory attendance at the party, Severus decided to talk to the Dark Lord and then leave as quickly as possible. "Come, Michael," he said, standing up. Mike followed suit and the pillow he had been sitting on vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

The Dark Lord was still by the window so Severus walked that way. He bowed low and waited to be acknowledged.

"Severus," the Dark Lord said. Severus moved forward and kissed the hem of the Dark Lord's robes. "I have something you may do for me."

"I would be honored, my master," Severus replied.

"It is my understanding that young Mr. Potter is staying with you for the time being."

"Yes, Master."

"Gain his trust, Severus. Make him believe that you care for him."

"Yes, Master."

"Once you've done that, he will follow you without question. Bring him to me. I give you until the first of October."

"Yes, Master."

"And tell me if young Draco passes the message along after the start of the new school year.'

"I will, Master."

"Good. Now go. I want to enjoy this party."

Severus bowed again and he and Michael left the party. Severus was feeling disgusted and ashamed by the time he reached the castle. He walked slowly down to the dungeons and opened the door to his chambers. Potter was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, poring over a piece of parchment. Severus could see his potions notebook open on the table. He was amused by the scene and decided to see how long it would take Harry to notice him.

"No, no," Harry said to himself, nibbling the end of his quill. "If he does that… oh, but the _legs_! Of course!" He began to scribble on the parchment. Severus smiled.

Just as Severus was beginning to enjoy the show, the fire flared up and Poppy's head appeared.

"Oh, Severus!" she exclaimed. "Good. I'll bid you good night then." She disappeared with a pop.

Harry had spun around to the door when Poppy had said Severus' name. He was now staring at Severus apologetically. Severus smirked at him.

"You just left it on the table," Potter said, motioning to the notebook. "I got curious. I didn't mean to pry."

_Ah, we're back to this discussion. _"You seemed very absorbed," Severus commented.

"Yeah," Harry said. "I saw my name on that last potion and thought that maybe I could help."

Severus moved to the table. "May I?" he asked, motioning to the abandoned roll of parchment.

Pot – Harry looked a bit surprised, but got over it quickly. He nodded uncertainly.

Severus picked up the parchment and unrolled it. It was at least three feet long and covered in messy writing. "Good lord, Potter," he said.

"Well," Harry said, "I still have to go to Diagon Alley so I thought I could just pick up more parchment there."

Severus shook his head and began reading. Potter's notes were far more organized than his own, despite Harry's extremely messy writing.

"This is rather neatly done," Severus commented.

"That's what happens when you have Hermione for a friend," Harry replied with a slight smile.

"Quite," Severus said and continued reading.

Potter's understanding of the potion was remarkable. He had rearranged the order in which some of the ingredients were added as well as changing amounts. There were notes telling of the reactions that would occur with each bit added and how to stir it as though Potter had actually attempted to make the potion. As Severus reached the bottom of the notes, he found what he'd been looking for all along.

"Of course," he whispered, rubbing his finger over his bottom lip. Harry had decided that the Spinster Poison Beetle would be the key to pull everything together. One ounce of venom, six crushed legs, two powdered wings, the damaging effects countered by unicorn tears. "What…"

"Well, the venom is a powerful healing agent if stewed properly," Harry said. "The legs will increase the potency of that aspect. The powdered wings will contribute a powerful magical blocking agent to prevent the spells from breaking through. The unicorn tears will counteract the poison in the venom without dulling its healing abilities."

"I _know_ all of that, Pot – er – Harry," Severus said, hiding the fact that he was very much impressed by Potter's knowledge of how ingredients mesh together. "I was going to ask, what made you do this?"

"I just wanted to help," Harry replied quietly.

"Well done," Severus said. "Ten points to Gryffindor, Potter."

"Really?" Harry asked, smiling.

"Yes, now go to bed." Severus continued to peruse the parchment quietly. _Just when I thought that I had the boy figured out, he surprises me again. How does he _do _that?_

He didn't notice when Harry quietly got up and left the room, still smiling at the surprising reaction he had gotten from Severus.

* * *

**Author's Note: I would like to thank Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Funny thing, that. There _is_ an orgy in this chapter, but you'd have to view it at another site to get the full effect. I laughed so hard when I got your review. Try hpfandom . net, or ensnared . thehexfiles . net It'll be uncensored there.**

**Monica85**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Shadow Eclipse: Check hpfandom . net or ensnared . thehexfiles . net for the NC-17 version of this fic.**

**Volume**

**Purplepaper: Always more action, m'dear. Always.**


	8. Back to School

**Chapter Eight**

**Back To School**

**ONE **

Harry's visions were getting more frequent and violent as the time passed. He didn't tell Snape the extent of his pain, but Snape wasn't stupid.

Harry was lying on his bed around mid-day one week before the start of the new term. He'd just had a vision in which Voldemort had killed a Muggle. Harry was shaking violently, his whole body feeling as though it had been ripped apart and then sown back together.

"I hate my life," Harry muttered irritably. He was breathing deeply in an attempt to control the shaking in his body long enough to drink a pain potion. To his utter dismay, someone replied to his comment.

"And why is that, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked from the hallway. He came into the room and stopped short. "Bloody hell." He came to the bed.

"Hello, s- sir," Harry said.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you cry out for me?" he asked.

"Didn't think of it," Harry said sarcastically.

Snape was rummaging in Harry's night table and didn't reply. He straightened up holding a red potion and then helped Harry into a sitting position.

"Thank you sir," Harry said. Snape helped him drink the potion and Harry fell asleep soon after.

When Harry woke up several hours later, Snape was sitting in a chair by his bed.

"Feeling better?" Snape asked dryly.

"Yes," Harry replied. "Thank you, sir."

"I have spoken to the headmaster about you," Snape said. "We have decided on a way around this annoying habit of yours."

"What habit?" Harry asked.

"Suffering in silence," Snape replied. "We think it would be best if I cast a bonding spell on you."

"What?" Harry asked, sitting up.

"Calm down," Snape said calmly. "It wouldn't be a _lifelong_ thing. It would only be strong enough to tell me when you're in pain."

"Oh," Harry said. "And how long would we be – er- bonded?"

"As long as necessary," Snape replied. "It will be removed once we pass this particular hurtle."

"What about the Curse Blocking Potion?" Harry asked. "Do you think it'll work?"

"It should," Snape said slowly.

"But?" Harry asked.

"It will take two months to brew," Snape replied.

Harry had a horrible sinking feeling in his gut. If he couldn't stop what was happening, he most probably wouldn't be able to attend classes.

"But what happens when school starts?" he asked.

"You are ill," Snape replied. "If something happens during class, all the other students will see is a normal seizure."

"Epilepsy?" Harry asked. "The rest of the school is going to think that I have epilepsy?"

"Something like that," Snape said.

Harry sighed. He supposed that it was better than telling them the truth.

"What do you mean, they'll only see a seizure?" he asked.

"The spell I'm going to cast on you will only allow those who already know what is happening to see the real thing," Snape said. "You have a tendency to repeat what you are seeing, and it wouldn't do for the rest of the student body to think you were mad."

"Oh," Harry said. He cast around for a change of subject. "Has Professor Dumbledore hired a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher yet?"

"Yes," Snape replied, suddenly looking annoyed. "Her name is Dolores Umbridge and she's from the Ministry of Magic."

"She works at the Ministry?" Harry asked, very surprised.

"Yes," Snape replied. "She's the Senior Under Secretary for the Minister of Magic."

"If she works for Fudge, what's she doing here?"

"I believe that she has been sent here to spy on Professor Dumbledore," Snape said distastefully. "Fudge thinks that Dumbledore is trying to overthrow him. He still doesn't believe that the Dark Lord has returned. Perhaps I cold take him to one of my meetings," he added thoughtfully. "That would change his mind right quick."

Harry stared at Snape for a moment. He couldn't be certain, but he thought that Snape was picturing just what Voldemort would do to Fudge should the two ever meet.

**TWO **

The next night Harry had one of his worst visions yet. The spell had not been cast yet, but Severus could hear the screaming from the Great Hall. Harry was coughing up blood by the time it was over.

"I can't," Harry said very weakly from his place in Severus' arms. "Just let me die."

"Nonsense!" Severus snapped, still attempting to feed Harry the painkilling potion. "Take the potion, Harry. It'll help."

Harry drank most of the potion, but had a coughing fit just as the last of it entered his mouth. He'd already taken a potion to stop the bleeding and was quickly falling asleep.

As Harry finally drifted off into a fit-full sleep, Severus gently placed him on the bed and tucked the covers around him. Severus thought about the Curse Blocking Potion bubbling away in a large cauldron next to his bed. A sharp rapping on the outer chamber door roused him from his musings. He opened the door and found Umbridge on the other side.

Delores Umbridge was a short, portly woman with very little neck, large protruding eyes, a wide face and a long mouth. She had short, very curly hair in which she had perched a large turquoise bow at the top of her head. To Severus she looked very much like a large ugly toad.

"What do you want, Delores?" he asked shortly. "I am _trying _to attend to the needs of a very sick child."

"Oh," said Umbridge in a very high pitched, girly sort of voice that reminded Severus of Pansy Parkinson, one of his fifth years. "I only want to have a word with Mr. Potter." She smiled in what would have been a sweet manner, had she been someone else.

"He's sleeping," Severus said. "I'm not about to wake him up just to speak to you. Good night." He started to close the door.

"Hem, hem," said Umbridge.

"What?" Severus snapped, turning to face her again.

"I'd like to have a look at him," Umbridge said, still smiling.

"Why?" Severus asked. "Do you think you can do more for him than the best Potions Master in Britain?"

"Of course not, Severus," Umbridge replied with a simper that made Severus feel sick. "I am merely concerned for the well-being of one of my future students. I wouldn't _dream_ of stepping on your toes."

Severus repressed and angry growl and allowed Umbridge entrance to his private quarters.

"Make sure that you are quiet," Severus said coldly. "I've only just gotten him to sleep."

"He won't even know I'm there," Umbridge said with a smile, revealing a row of ugly pointed teeth. Severus led her to Harry's bedroom, one hand clutching his wand.

Umbridge stood in the doorway observing Harry quietly. Harry was tossing and turning in his bed, making indiscernible noises in his sleep. Severus was almost certain that Harry was reliving the events of last June.

"As you can see, Delores," Severus said sharply but quietly. "Harry is not well. If you'll just go, you may speak to him another time."

"He just seems to be having a bad dream," Umbridge said sweetly. "Perhaps if we just woke him up?"

"I've already told you that he's only just gone back to sleep," Severus said, starting to lose his patience. "You may speak to him another time." His tone said plainly, 'get out now'.

The two professors walked back to Severus' sitting room.

"What is _wrong_ with the child, Severus?" Umbridge asked.

"He has a very rare form of epilepsy," Severus replied calmly. "He's been placed in my care, and I am afraid that I cannot allow _anyone_, not even you, to disrupt what little sleep he gets."

"I see," Umbridge replied. "And why couldn't his family have taken care of him?"

"Because Muggles do not have effective treatments for epilepsy," Severus replied promptly. One thing he had learned from his years as a spy was to always be prepared for anything. "As a Potions Master, I have been able to develop a potion that will help him. Unfortunately, it takes two months to brew, so he'll be somewhat… unreliable at the start of the year. If he is late for one of your classes, assume that he was ill and with me."

"But I'm afraid that gives him a reason to be frequently late, and I cannot allow that. Oh, no, no, that won't do at all."

Harry moaned loudly and painfully from the other room.

"I believe," Severus said, "that that was your queue to leave."

"Very well," said Umbridge. "You will send him to me when he wakes?"

"Only if he is well," Severus replied, standing up and opening the door. "Good night."

"Good night, Severus," Umbridge said sweetly. She left and Severus went straight back to Harry's room. Harry was still sleeping, but he was tossing more violently than before, muttering in his sleep.

The week passed rather slowly, Umbridge popping up several times in attempts to speak to Harry. Severus had instructions from Albus to keep her away from Harry.

**THREE **

During the week, Harry had little to do but read his textbooks. Snape had gone to Diagon Alley for him, leaving Harry with McGonagall for the day. Snape returned that evening having bought far more parchment, ink, quills, and potions ingredients than were necessary. By September 1st, Harry was keen to start the new year.

The night of the first, Harry stood at the entrance waiting for the horseless carriages to bring the students from Hogsmeade Station. As Harry watched, the carriages came into view. Harry stared as he saw that the carriages were no longer horseless. They were being pulled by strange creatures that looked like half-horses, half-dragons. He couldn't see them clearly from this distance, and as he squinted to see them better, the students now disembarking from the carriages completely hid the horse-like creatures from view.

"Harry!" Harry heard Hermione calling before he saw her. He saw her mane of bushy brown hair just as she threw her arms around his neck in a big hug, nearly knocking him over.

"Hi, Hermione," Harry said laughing. Ron came up behind her and smiled at Harry brightly.

"Hiya, Harry," he said with amusement. Ron was very tall, looking to Harry as though he had grown at least three inches over the summer. He had a head of shocking red hair, long limbs, a long nose, and lots of freckles. His brown eyes were sparkling with laughter.

Hermione had grown also, but not nearly as much as Ron. She had a great deal of bushy brown hair, brown eyes, and was smiling at Harry brightly.

"Hi, Ron," Harry said, also smiling. The three friends began walking into the Great Hall with the rest of the students.

"Hagrid wasn't on the platform,' Hermione said, scanning the teacher's table with her eyes.

"That's because he hasn't come back yet," Harry said.

Ron and Hermione looked at him. "Has he been writing to you?" Hermione asked.

"No," Harry replied. "But Professor Snape said not to worry about him."

"Since when do you care about Snape's opinion?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Snape's been watching over me," Harry replied as the three friends sat at the Gryffindor table. Hermione's eyes were scanning the staff table curiously.

"Who's that woman next to Dumbledore?" she asked.

Harry looked where Hermione indicated. "Her name's Umbridge," he said distastefully. "She's the new Defense teacher."

"She looks like a right old hag," Ron said. He looked as though he had just smelled something very nasty.

"She is," Harry agreed. "She keeps coming around, asking questions about why I'm here. She doesn't believe Snape's explanation at all."

"And what _is_ Snape's explanation?" Hermione asked, eyeing Harry warily.

"I have epilepsy," Harry said matter-of-factly.

A few heads at the Gryffindor table turned in Harry's direction.

"Oh no, Harry!" Lavender Brown exclaimed. "That's terrible!"

Harry felt himself turning red. He hadn't meant for anyone else to overhear.  
"Oh, er, I'm doing well though…" he stammered.

"Harry, I had no idea that you were sick!" Parvati Patil exclaimed.

"Who's sick?" Neville Longbottom asked, sitting down across from Harry.

"Harry's got epilepsy," Lavender said sadly.

"I didn't know that," Neville said, turning to look at Harry. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

"I… I didn't know until this summer," Harry replied. "Look, it's nothing, really! I just…" Harry became aware that the Hall had grown very quiet. He turned and saw that the Sorting Hat was preparing to sing. He wasn't sorry for an excuse to drop the argument. The students around him kept giving him nervous glances throughout the Sorting.

Once the feast was underway, Harry kept his eyes on his plate. He hadn't expected the news of his 'sickness' to start spreading the moment term started. Already people all along the table were starting to whisper and look at him. Some looked curious or sympathetic and a few looked down right smug. Harry groaned and lowered his head over his food, trying to ignore them.

**FOUR**

Severus sat sulkily at the High Table watching as the students filed in. He had not wanted Harry to attend the feast, but Albus had insisted that Harry be allowed to come. Harry was still weak and frequently had fainting spells during his waking hours. Although the spells had already been cast, Severus doubted that Harry wanted the whole school to find out about his 'sickness' on the first day back.

As his eyes roamed the Hall, Severus noticed that students were whispering quietly to their neighbors. Some were pointing discretely toward the Gryffindor table. How could the students know already? Harry wouldn't have told them, but Harry was still sitting at his table indicating that he hadn't fainted.

Severus fixed his gaze on the Gryffindor table, saw that Harry seemed to be very interested in the food on his plate, and wasn't talking to anyone. Severus decided that he needed to talk to Harry as soon as the feast was over.

Severus turned his attention inwards as Albus stood up to make his usual speech and Severus decided to use the time to contemplate Harry's situation. Harry had probably been explaining his situation to his friends and been overheard by some rumormonger like Lavender Brown or Parvati Patil. Said rumormonger spread the tale to the nearest person who in turn told the nearest person to them and so Hogwarts' legendary rumor mill was thrown into action. His musings came to a screeching halt when Umbridge stood up and cleared her throat with that annoying little cough of hers.

"Hem, hem," she said loudly.

Dumbledore, who had been ready to dismiss the students, gave Umbridge a surprised look and sat down composedly.

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore," Umbridge said in her horrible simpering voice. "Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say!" She smiled, showing off her pointed teeth. "And to see such happy little faces looking back at me!"

Severus scowled heavily at the tiny woman, wishing that he could drown her in one of the toilets in the men's lavatory. Severus felt his irritation rising as Umbridge patronized the students about being her friends. She went on to tell the students about the Ministry's point of view on education. Well, Severus didn't need to hear her little speech to know that she was nothing more than a meddling Ministry spy. She was saying something about 'progress for progress's sake' when she was interrupted by a loud shout.

"Harry!" a girl's voice shouted with fright. Severus looked around quickly at the sound of Harry's name. Hermione Granger had jumped from her seat and disappeared behind the table. Ronald Weasley was peering over the edge of the table apprehensively.

Severus sprang from his seat and began moving to the Gryffindor table. Students quickly sank back into their seats after receiving cold glares from the furious Potions Master. When he reached Harry, Severus saw that concerned classmates surrounded the boy.

"Move out of the way!" Severus barked and the circle sprang apart immediately. Severus knelt next to Harry, who was twitching and mumbling non-stop. Severus bent to hear what Harry was saying.

"No, no, no, my dear Muggle friend," Harry wheezed. His eyes were rolled back into his head and he was twitching violently, his body covered in a cold sweat. "I won't be letting you go today. No, you are going to help me, or you are going to die."

Severus was preparing to lift Harry when Umbridge arrived.

"What are you doing, Professor Snape?" she asked sharply.

"I've told you before that this boy is not well," Severus snapped. "I am taking him to his room."

Umbridge chuckled nastily. "Oh no, I think not," she said. "One does not just develop epilepsy. It is my belief that he's making it up."

"I do not have time…" Severus started angrily but Harry cut him off.

"AAAHHHH!" he screamed. "WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS? YOU WILL DO AS YOU ARE TOLD! YOUR OPINION IS WORTHLESS TO ME! CRUCIO!" He started screaming and writhing in Severus's arms, clutching his forehead in pain so that Severus had great difficulty holding him. "MAKE IT STOP!" Harry screamed in agony.

Umbridge was still in Severus' way, trying to block him from leaving. "I want him taken to Madame Pomfrey so that I can talk to him," she said calmly.

"Get out of my way, fool woman!" Severus sneered dangerously. Several of the students nearby looked nervously at Umbridge.

Umbridge made to say something, but Dumbledore had arrived. "Severus is capable of taking care of him, Delores," he said calmly. "Your concern for Harry's _well-being_ is admirable, but right now Severus needs to take care of him."

Umbridge stared disbelievingly as Severus swept passed her, a very still and quiet Harry Potter in his arms. "Blast that woman!" Severus muttered irritated. Harry stirred slightly in his arms, groaning softly in pain.

"What…" Harry asked.

"We're almost there, Harry," Severus said gently, turning into the corridor leading to his rooms. He opened the door and took Harry to his room. He placed Harry on the bed and moved to the night table, removing potions from the cabinet.

He gave Harry a calming potion, the Inhibiting Potion, and a painkiller. Harry groaned again.

"What is it, Harry?" Severus asked.

"It hurts," Harry said so quietly that Severus almost didn't hear.

"What hurts, Harry?" Severus asked.

"I don't know," Harry replied.

Severus sighed and forced himself to remain calm. "I cannot help you if I don't know what's wrong," he said softly.

"Everything hurts," Harry said quietly. "Make it stop. Please?"

Severus felt a curious pang around his chest, but chose to analyze it later. "What kind of pain is it?" he asked.

"Aching."

Severus thought quickly. The painkiller should have gotten rid of whatever ache was left after Harry had taken the Inhibiting Potion. He thought back to the Great Hall. Harry had been screaming for longer than usual. The Dark Lord had sounded very angry about something. Severus made to stand from his knelt position by the bed, but Harry's hand shot out and grabbed Severus'.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked.

"I'll be right back," Severus said gently, prizing Harry's fingers away. He went to his own room and began rummaging through his cabinets. He found a small jar containing a greenish paste. "I really must organize this place," he muttered as he turned to go back to Harry's room.

"What's that?" Harry asked when Severus opened the jar and the smell of mint filled the room.

"It's a muscle relaxant," Severus replied. "I'm going to give you massage."

"Okay," Harry said. Severus removed Harry's clothes, leaving his underwear, and flipped him gently onto his stomach. Severus draped a sheet over Harry's middle and then scooped some of the salve from its jar. Harry groaned as Severus began massaging his shoulders.

"Just listen to my voice, Harry," Severus said, rubbing Harry's shoulders firmly. "Don't expect to do as poorly in Potions this year as you have in previous years." As he spoke, he couldn't help but notice how smooth Harry's skin was under his hands. He shook his head to clear it and continued speaking. "You have shown great aptitude by helping with the Curse Breaking Potion. I'll not have excuses about why you can't." He was now on Harry's lower back. "I know that you can make potions correctly and I _will not_ accept anything less from you."

As Severus began on Harry's long legs nearly thirty minutes later, he heard the telltale slow breathing of sleep. He finished the massage, cleaned Harry and then left the boy to sleep. It had been a long day and Severus needed sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: So I didn't update yesterday. Shoot me. I'd like to thank Victoria Ennis for her hard work here. Thanks also goes to…**

**LeeLeePotter: I'm glad I could provide some nice dreams for you.**

**Volume: Trust me, this is not my usual. The only reason this is updated so quickly is because it's fully written. Waiting for updates on one of my WIP is not fun at all.**

**Mariana: Thank you**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Hehehehe. Wait for it… wait for it… Draco is yet to have his say. We shall see…**

**Sliver of Melody: I've gotten a bit of that. I hadn't realized that people liked chapter 7 so much. Thanks though.**

**Ktoddhim: No worries. Reviews make me smile, even if they are the same every time. **

**Shadow Eclipse: No problem, m'dear**

**Jenni: You'll just have to wait and see, love.**

**Christina: Why thank you. I'm glad Snape hasn't strayed too far.**


	9. Pain for Nothing

**Chapter Nine**

**Pain For Nothing**

**ONE **

Harry woke with a start and inhaled sharply. For a moment, he wondered how he ended up in bed, but then he remembered having a vision of Voldemort while he, Harry, had been at the Welcoming Feast. "Bloody Hell," he said rubbing his face with his hands.

"Indeed," Snape said from Harry's right.

Harry jumped with surprise. "Blimey, don't _do_ that!" he exclaimed. Snape chuckled lightly from his chair. "Indeed what, anyway?" Harry asked with irritation.

"I assume that you did not wish for the entire school to see something like that on your first day back," Snape replied. "As it is, Umbridge believes that you are making it up so as to gain more attention than you already receive."

"Yes, well, Umbridge is a hag," Harry said.

"Tell me about your vision," Snape said suddenly.

Harry wondered how they went from talking about Umbridge to talking about Voldemort so quickly, but he shrugged it off. He concentrated on what he saw at the feast.

"Well, he wanted some Muggle to help him break into a house," he said after a moment. "I can't… I think it was south somewhere." He shook his head, trying to clear it of the memory of so much pain. "Someone told him that they didn't think it was a good idea and he got angry." He screwed up his eyes, trying to remember more, but all he could remember after that was pain. "I'm sorry, sir," he said. "I can't remember any more."

"It's all right," Snape said. He reached out and put a hand on Harry's arm. "How do you feel?"

Harry felt a shiver when Snape touched him, but he repressed it. The memory of the back massage came back to him as he stared at Snape's long fingers. The back of his mind registered a question. "I'm fine," he answered automatically.

"Do you feel any pain?" Snape asked.

"No," Harry said vaguely. He wrenched his eyes away from Snape's hand and looked into concerned obsidian eyes. "No, I'm fine," he said in a stronger voice.

"Then get up," Snape said, removing his hand and standing up. "You have classes today and it's nearly time for breakfast."

"Yes, sir," Harry said. He waited until Snape left the room before getting up. He took a shower and ran a comb through his hair, even though he knew it was useless, got dressed and then went out to find Snape waiting for him.

"You took long enough," Snape said irritably.

"A hot shower always relaxes my muscles the day after a particularly horrid vision," Harry replied. "Shall we go then?"

"Insufferable little brat," Snape muttered, opening the door and letting Harry go ahead of him.

Harry chuckled but didn't reply.

The Great Hall went very still when Harry and Snape entered. Snape barely seemed to notice and walked to the staff table. Harry felt himself turning red as many eyes turned to watch him. _'Well,'_ he thought. _'If they're looking, I may as well give them something to see.' _He waved cheerily to everyone in the Hall and proceeded to his seat, adding a bounce to his step.

"Hi guys!" he said as he sat next to Ron and across from Hermione.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Hermione asked with concern.

Harry waved a dismissive hand and took a little food. "I'm fine," he said. "Don't worry about it."

"You're not eating much," Ron observed. "And you're as thin as a rail."

Harry sighed. "I can't tell you what's happening here," he whispered to them. As he began to slowly force down his breakfast, Fred and George Weasley, Ron's brothers (who happened to be identical twins), began passing out the timetables. Harry looked at his and groaned.

"What's up?" Ron asked.

"We have Divination first thing, " Harry replied.

"Damn it!" Ron complained.

"You should have dropped it like I did," Hermione said in her 'I told you so' voice.

"Yeah, well, Ron and I had better get going or we'll be late," Harry said, standing up.

"You barely ate anything," Hermione said, also standing.

"I'm not hungry," Harry said truthfully, shrugging slightly. He'd been rather queasy since he'd woken up that morning.

"Tell us what's going on, Harry," Ron said.

"Not here," Harry said. "I'll tell you in Charms."

"We're holding you to that," Hermione said as she separated from them.

Harry and Ron began climbing the steps to North Tower and by the time they reached the top, Harry was very winded. Ron gave Harry a concerned look.

"Charms," Harry said breathlessly.

Ron looked like he wanted to argue but he nodded sharply instead. The trap door in the ceiling opened and the ladder landed at Harry's feet.

"Go ahead of me," Harry said, taking a step back. The other students filed passed him and climbed up into Professor Trelawny's room. _'I should start working out,' _Harry thought as his breathing grew more normal.

"Maybe you should go see the nurse," Ron said uncertainly.

"I'm fine," Harry said firmly. "I just had a rough summer." With that, he climbed the ladder and sat at the last table in a dark corner of the room. The heavy perfumes of Trelawny's room felt stifling after the long summer in the cool dungeons.

"Harry," Ron said as he took a seat on Harry's left, but Trelawny's misty voice interrupted him.

"Good morning, my fifth years," she said, emerging from the shadows. She was wearing lank teal robes, covered with a long sparkling shawl. She had many gaudy necklaces around her neck and shiny rings on her fingers. Her eyes were being magnified many times by the thick glasses she wore, giving her the appearance of a very large praying mantis. "This year we shall be learning dream interpretation." She handed out books called _The Dream Oracle _and then sat in her high-backed chair near the fireplace.

Harry felt that Divination couldn't pass quick enough and was thoroughly relieved when the class was released for Charms. Trelawny had assigned them a month's worth of keeping a dream diary. Harry didn't think she'd _want_ to know about _his_ dreams.

As he sat down in his Charms class, Harry braced himself for the storm of questions he knew would come once the class had started.

Professor Flitwick was tiny wizard who stood on a pile of books on top of his desk. He told the class in his squeaky voice about O.W.L. year. It seemed they would start with reviews before moving on to new material. Today would be spent doing Summoning and Banishing Charms.

"Spill it, Harry," Hermione said, Banishing her cushion into a box across the room.

Harry told them about his visions and the pain from experiencing Voldemort's curses. When he finished, both Ron and Hermione looked horrified.

"Harry, that's horrible!" Hermione exclaimed, drawing glances from a few Ravenclaws sitting near by.

"Sh!" Harry admonished. "No one can know the truth. You both have to swear that you won't tell anyone."

"We swear, Harry," Ron said, holding up his hand. "If that's what's happening, why did it just look like a seizure yesterday?"

"Snape put a spell on me," Harry replied. "Only people who know the truth can hear and see the real thing. It's safer for me if Voldemort doesn't know about this."

"I should say so," Hermione said. "I can't _imagine_ what would happen if that Umbridge woman knew."

"She'd say I was lying about the whole thing," Harry said stiffly. "She already thinks I'm lying about having epilepsy."

"Like _anyone_ could act that well," Hermione said. "I'd like to see _her_ do something like that and make it believable."

Harry shrugged and Banished his pillow, which flew across the room and hit Professor Flitwick in the head.

"Concentrate, Mr. Potter!" Flitwick admonished.

"Sorry, sir," Harry said. He turned back to Ron and Hermione. "Look, it's not a big deal."

"Are you mad?" Ron asked. "Have all of those curses made you daft?"

"Snape's making me a potion that'll stop the pain," Harry said quickly. "Pretty soon I'll be back to myself."

Ron and Hermione looked at him uncertainly, but dropped the subject for the time being.

**TWO **

A month and half into the new term found Harry in a terrible state. The Dark Lord was becoming restless about something and as a result, Harry's visions were becoming longer and more painful by the night. By mid-October, Harry was extremely exhausted and pale. His weight hadn't gone up at all due to the frequency and potency of his visions. Harry began making energy boosting potions and mild pain-killers every night after classes. The October first deadline had been pushed back because the Dark Lord wanted him healthy when they faced off at last, though the Dark Lord hadn't explained that much to Severus, considering Severus had not been the one to inform him of Harry's ill health.

Severus knew about Harry's extracurricular potion making, but he couldn't bring himself to reprimand the boy. Severus went to dinner the evening of the 15th, intending to keep a close watch on his young charge as usual.

Harry arrived at dinner late, looking dead on his feet. He sat with his friends, but he didn't look as though he knew what was happening around him. Severus could feel the fatigue coming through the bond. He wished he could send Harry some of his own energy, but the bond wasn't strong enough for that. About half way through the meal, Harry stood up and stumbled out of the Hall. Granger and Weasley were watching after him with concern. Severus took his leave a few minutes later.

As he entered his chambers, Severus listened for any whimpering or groaning coming from Harry's room, but there was none. He walked to Harry's room and found the young man passed out on his bed, still in his school uniform. Severus sighed heavily and walked into the room.

Severus took off Harry's robes and put the boy in pajamas. Afterwards, he tucked Harry into bed. Harry didn't wake up during any of this. Severus sat down in the chair by Harry's bed and summoned his notebook and self-inking quill. He worked on some of his older creations, trying to think of how Harry would solve the problem. He was starting to feel tired when the Dark Mark on his left forearm began to burn horribly.

Severus cursed under his breath and stood up, looking at Harry. Harry was flinching a bit, but making no signs that he was about to wake up. Severus pulled out his wand and dissolved the bond between Harry and him. He wouldn't be able to function properly if he could feel what Harry was going through. Next, he made his way to Albus' office and opened the door.

"Severus?" Albus asked with surprise. To Severus' irritation, Albus was not alone. He was in a meeting with Minerva and Umbridge. Severus scowled and raised his eyebrows pointedly at Albus. "Excuse me for a moment, ladies," Albus said and stood up. He led Severus into a room on the right side of the office.

"I have been summoned," Severus said without preamble. "I have dissolved my bond with Harry. Send Poppy to take care of him while I am away. I think he's going to have a rough night."

Albus nodded gravely. "Be safe, Severus," he said. "We'll watch over Harry."

Severus gave a curt nod and walked out without another word. He left the castle and walked into Hogsmeade where he Apparated to the Riddle House.

"Ah, Severus," the Dark Lord said when Severus arrived.

"Good evening, my Lord," Severus replied and kissed the Dark Lord's robes.

"I have had news from Lucius' son," the Dark Lord said. "It seems that young Mr. Potter is ill. Is this true, Severus?"

Severus felt like his stomach had dropped out. "Yes, my Lord."

"And _why_ didn't you inform me of this yourself?"

"I didn't think it was of any importance to you," Severus said, keeping his mind clear of all emotion. "I thought that if I let him die, it would be better for you."

"I see." He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named paced in front of the few Death Eaters gathered. "What is wrong with him?" he asked after few minutes.

"He's contracted epilepsy," Severus replied.

"And how did he manage that?" the Dark Lord asked. "One does not just _contract_ epilepsy as though it were the flu."

"I do not know how the boy came to be ill," Severus said at once. He always had a backup plan ready. "His uncle sent a letter to Hogwarts asking for help. He explained nothing else in his letter. When Dumbledore and I arrived at Potter's home, the boy was already very ill. Dumbledore put him in my care, and Potter has not told me anything about the origin of his… _condition._"

"Very well, Severus. I believe you. I want you to take good care of him. He should be in perfect health when I kill him. You may go."

"Thank you, my Lord." Severus kissed the Dark Lord's robes again and began backing out.

"Just a moment, Severus," the Dark Lord said.

Severus stopped moving. "My Lord?"

"Your Vent has been to see me. He says you are not _seeing_ enough of him."

Severus closed his eyes and willed his annoyance away.

"You must instill more loyalty in your Vent, Severus," You-Know-Who snapped. "He will never _survive_ to become a Death Eater as he is. Fix it. Crucio!"

Severus fell on his knees in total pain. It lasted for about 30 seconds, but to Severus it felt like hours. After his punishment, Severus was allowed to leave. He went upstairs to a small room in which the Vents were waiting for their Caretakers. He opened the door and Mike sprang up from the small group.

"Caretaker!" he said happily.

"You spoke to our Lord about me," Severus said coldly.

Mike's face fell and he became very still. "I wanted to see you," he said.

"You acted stupidly!" Severus snapped. "You got me into trouble. I expect more loyalty from you in the future."

"I'm sorry, Caretaker," Mike said desperately.

"Sorry is not good enough. You must be punished."

"Punished?" Mike asked uncertainly. It was very rare for Severus to resort to punishment by means of magic. Severus, however, felt that it was more than fair.

Severus pulled out his wand and aimed at Mike's chest. "Angere!" A shot of blue light came from his wand and hit Mike, knocking him to the floor. Mike twitched a bit, but remained silent. "Amplificare Angere!" Severus said and Mike began to whimper pathetically.

"Please Caretaker!" he said painfully. "I'm sorry!"

Severus released the curse and knelt next to Mike. "You must learn loyalty," he said. "Our Lord would not be so gentle with you. You will wait _patiently_ until you are called for. Do not make me angry, Vent."

"Yes, Caretaker," Mike said.

"Do not forget your place, Vent," Severus said as he stood. "If something like this happens again, you can forget about joining our ranks." He turned sharply and walked away, leaving Mike whimpering on the floor of the Vents' room.

Severus' mind was cluttered with annoyance and worry as he Apparated back to Hogsmeade. As he walked into the main doors, a distant noise reached his ears. It sounded like someone screaming. An alarm went off in his mind and he began running to the infirmary. As he moved higher in the castle, the screaming grew louder. When he turned into the corridor for infirmary, he saw two figures by the doors looking into the window.

"Maybe they won't notice us if we just go in and stand in the corner," said one of them. Severus recognized the voice of Hermione Granger. That could only mean that the other figure was Ron Weasley.

"They wouldn't get angry," Weasley said. "He's our friend, isn't he? Besides, we're allowed to be out. We're prefects."

"We're only allowed to be out if we've been assigned hall duty," Granger said distractedly. "We could just sneak in and…"

Severus decided to interrupt. "Just what do you two think you are doing?" he asked.

Both Gryffindors turned and paled. "Professor Snape!" Granger squeaked.

"Indeed," Severus deadpanned.

"We just… we wanted to see Harry," Granger explained.

"You do not want to see what is happening in there," Severus drawled. "Go back to your dormitories."

"He's our friend!" Weasley exclaimed.

Severus raised an eyebrow at the boy. _'He's certainly not lacking in Gryffindor courage,'_ he thought "Go to your common room and I will come and fetch you when this is over," he said.

The two Gryffindors stared at him.

"Get going before I change my mind about taking points!" Severus snapped.

"Yes, sir!" Granger said, pushing Weasley into motion. "Thank you, sir!" The two sprinted toward the stairs.

Severus chuckled, opened the door and stepped into the now silent infirmary. Weasley and Granger had taken to arriving at his quarters at eight every morning to pick Harry up for breakfast. Severus respected their loyalty to their friend and so he tolerated them.

"Severus, at last!" Poppy exclaimed when she saw him.

"How long has this been happening?" Severus asked, moving to sit by Harry's bed.

"Nearly an hour," Poppy replied. Albus was on the other side of the bed, wiping Harry's forehead with a damp cloth. "I think it's over now though," Poppy went on. "He's been quiet for the last few minutes."

Severus looked down at the raven-haired youth on the bed. Harry's eyes were slightly open and his breathing was fast. Suddenly he sat up straight and his eyes opened wide, though their brilliant emerald green was dulled slightly.

"Harry?" Poppy asked. "Harry!" she said more urgently when Harry didn't respond. She moved to touch him, but Severus held her back.

"He can't hear you," he said, turning back to Harry. "It's not over yet." After a few moments, Harry began to speak.

"Look, all of you, on the mighty traitor," he said. His voice was cold and filled with menacing hatred. "She has betrayed us to that Muggle loving fool Dumbledore. Fortunately, I am not easily fooled. Watch now as she is given her payment. Crucio!" Harry fell back on the bed, screaming and writhing in agony. His back arched and his head dug into the pillow, but he continued to scream out the Dark Lord's words.

"Pay attention to her!" Harry screamed. "This will happen to all who dare betray me! You cannot lie, for Lord Voldemort always knows! She will die a traitor's death as you all watch! Do not presume that you can fool me!" This thread of tortured screaming continued for nearly five minutes. Severus held Harry gently to prevent the teen from causing himself injury. Finally, Harry stopped screaming and lay still.

"Albus," Severus began, but Harry cut him off.

"She will die now," he said, his voice hoarse from screaming. "Let her blood be a warning to any who would dare to betray me."

"Oh gods, no," Severus muttered, knowing the punishment for traitors, though he was powerless to stop it.

"Discerpere!" Harry said and then began screaming louder than Severus had ever heard him. Harry seemed to be trying to escape from something as he thrashed violently in the bed. He clawed at his joints and midsection for what seemed an eternity before he stopped screaming at last. He stopped breathing for a moment, but the next moment he took a great shuddering gasp and then passed out.

"Take him back to his room, Severus," Albus said weakly. He was sitting in a chair by the window looking pale and older than Severus had ever seen him.

"Albus," Poppy said.

"There's nothing else you can do for him, Poppy," Albus said. "Severus will take care of him when he wakes."

Severus levitated Harry and carried him back down to the dungeons. The whole time his mind was spinning with questions. Why had the Dark Lord sent him away without witnessing the execution? Who was the woman? He was sure Albus knew who it was, but he wasn't about to ask him.

After placing Harry in bed, Severus recast the bonding spell. Afterwards, he went up to Gryffindor Tower to retrieve Harry's friends. The fat lady in the frilly pink silk dress was asleep in her frame. He walked up to the portrait and knocked on the wooden frame, causing the fat lady to jump out of her slumber.

"Do you mind?" she asked irritably.

"Not terribly," Severus drawled. She looked like she was going to say something, but she was pushed open from the inside. Granger and Weasley looked out through a hole in the wall.

"Is he okay, Professor?" Granger asked tentatively.

"Come along with me, both of you," Severus replied curtly. The two Gryffindors scrambled through the portrait hole and closed the painting. Severus began walking away quickly. No one spoke as they moved toward the dungeons.

As they entered Severus' quarters, Severus motioned to the two students to sit down on his couch.

"I must explain something before I allow you to see him," Severus said. "Potter was subjected to several different curses tonight, and he passed out before any potions could be administered. What this means is that he could wake up at any moment, and when he does, it won't be a pretty sight. If either of you do not wish to see him suffering, then I advise that you leave now and visit him in the morning."

"I'm staying," Granger said at once.

"So am I," Weasley said.

"Very well," Severus replied. "He's back here." He led the two through the disillusioned door and back through to Harry's room.

Harry was just as Severus left him. He was on his back looking pale and sick, his features drawn in either pain or worry, though Severus did not know which.

"He looks like death," Granger said quietly.

"Quite," Severus replied. He conjured two chairs for the Gryffindors and then sat in 'his' chair to wait for Harry to wake up. He allowed his mind to wander freely as Harry's friends began a quiet conversation in their corner.

Severus had been watching Harry quietly over the last month and a half, wondering how the boy was coping with his situation. Harry had already missed four days of class, and served a week's detention with Umbridge. She'd kept him so late the first night that Severus had to go and fetch him. When he'd arrived, Umbridge had been looking at the back of Harry's hand. When Severus had asked how Harry had managed to lad himself in detention so quickly, Harry had said simply, "Umbridge is an ignorant old hag, that's how."

Albus had removed Harry from Gryffindor's Quidditch team in fear that the boy would have a vision while he was flying. Though this news had outraged Harry, Severus couldn't help but agree with the old man. The Dark Lord wasn't going to take a break from torturing people just because Harry was playing Quidditch. Of course, Harry, being a teenager, didn't see the logical side of Albus' decision at all.

Harry spent all of his free time sitting on the floor in front of his fireplace, catching up on his homework. What little vision-free sleep he got was punctuated by nightmares, and once he woke up he could never go back to sleep so he'd stay up and continue on his schoolwork. Without Granger there to help him, Harry was forced to actually _learn_ what he was studying. His grades went up, but at the terrible cost of his health. He ate because Severus forced food into him and sleep came difficultly. Harry had been getting more uptight at time went on and he snapped at people easily. He even snapped at Severus on occasion, and then he'd apologize and go to bed early. Severus' worry for the boy increased with each passing day and now he was worried that Harry might not survive to see the Curse Blocking Potion completed. After what seemed like hours, Harry began to wake up. Immediately, he began to groan and fight against the pain. Severus grabbed the first of three potions he had for Harry and moved to the bed.

"Harry?" he said gently, having forgotten the presence of the two Gryffindors.

"Please, make it stop!" Harry cried painfully. Severus took a breath to calm his emotions.

"Can you sit up?"

"NO!" Harry cried. "Please no! Make it stop! Make it stop!"

"I have to sit you up, Harry," Severus said gently. He placed his hand underneath Harry's shoulders.

"Please no," Harry whimpered and then he cried out painfully when Severus gently lifted him into a sitting position.

"Drink this, Harry," Severus said, holding a bright orange potion to Harry's mouth.

"I can't," Harry whimpered. Severus tipped the potion slightly and Harry reflexively drank it down. Harry's body relaxed a bit and he sighed. "Thank you, sir," he said.

"Drink this one now, Harry," Severus said, giving Harry the metallic blue Inhibiting Potion followed by a muscle relaxant. He gently laid Harry back down and the boy went straight to sleep. Severus sighed and rubbed his face roughly. He turned and found the Gryffindors staring at him. There were tears on Granger's cheeks.

"What happened tonight, sir?" she asked, her voice strained.

"He was afflicted by several curses tonight," Severus replied.

"What curses?" Weasley asked.

"The main one was Cruciatus," Severus said.

"We heard him screaming so loud, sir," Granger said. "I don't think that was Cruciatus."

"It wasn't," Severus said.

"What was it?" Granger asked.

Severus looked at them for a moment before deciding that they deserved to know. They were very loyal friends. "It was a Dismemberment Curse."

Granger put her hand over her mouth as fresh tears began coursing down her cheeks and Weasley turned very pale.

"He's not going to wake up again tonight," Severus said. He moved into his own living room and took out a sheet of parchment. He tore it in half and wrote notes on them. "These give you permission to miss your first class. Go and get some sleep. Harry won't be in class tomorrow."

"Yes, sir," Weasley said. Granger was leaning against him crying. Weasley took the notes and the two departed.

Severus sat again on his couch and stared into the fire. For the first time in nearly 20 years, Severus was worried about someone. Harry Potter was not what he was supposed to be. He was supposed to be an attention seeking, shallow, arrogant teenager. Damn the boy for being kind and selfless. Damn him for making Severus care. Damn the Dark Lord for hurting someone so innocent. Damn him for daring to think that he could hurt Harry without fear of repercussion. Damn him for being right.

* * *

**Author's Note: Many thanks to…**

**Volume: I agree**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Oh, he will eventually, believe you me.**

**Rosiegirl: I know. I left her that way because I just hate her so fucking much. **

**Sliver of Melody: So do I, m'dear. So do I.**

**Leeleepotter: She stuck out so vividly in my mind that I couldn't imagine leaving her out, even if she is a right old bint.**

**CogniDi: That's a good way to look at it, actually.**

**Thana: I'm honored that you would even consider it.**

**Ktoddhim: Actually, I am in need of a beta for MES, if you'd like to take on that freight train.**

**Skimmie**

**Tamyka: Unfortunately, I need Mike a little later on in the tale. As for Umbridge, all I can say is that she gets hers in the end. JKR so should have killed that hag off.**

**Sh'arra Rie: I hope you continue to enjoy this story as much as I do.**


	10. Fear of Death

**Chapter Ten**

**Fear of Death**

**ONE **

A slow throbbing in his entire body awaked Harry. For a moment, he wondered why he was hurting so much, but then he remembered his vision. It was the most painful and gruesome vision he had yet had. Harry remembered it so clearly, and that in itself was strange. Malfoy and Avery had dragged a woman into the room in which Voldemort was holding the meeting. The only Death Eaters present, aside from Malfoy, were those whose loyalties were in question. The woman was no one. She was some random witch that Voldemort had kidnapped in order to prove a point. He tortured her and then ripped her into seven pieces. She lived until the end. Harry remembered so much blood and pain.

"Harry?" Snape asked from the door, effectively pulling Harry from his memories.

Harry meant to reply, but all he managed was a pained sort of groan.

Snape walked to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Are you in pain?" he asked. His voice was so soft and full of concern that it sounded very extrinsic to Harry.

Harry nodded slowly. "My whole body hurts," he said softly.

"I can't give you any more painkillers today," Snape said. "Do you want me to give you another massage?"

"No, thank you, sir," Harry replied. "The pain is inside. It's not my muscles."

Snape looked contemplative for a moment, and then his expression cleared. "I'm going to get you some vegetable soup," he said, standing up.

"I'm not…" Harry started, but Snape had already gone. He waited until Snape came back with a steaming bowl of soup.

"Here we are, Harry," he said with a smile.

"I'm not hungry," Harry said, knowing it wouldn't make any difference. Sure enough…

"Nonsense," Snape said, sitting down and placing a napkin on Harry's chest. "Once you get a taste of this nice soup, your stomach will open up." He spooned some up and fed it to Harry.

"Why are you being so nice?" Harry asked. His stomach felt contracted and full, but he forced down the food, knowing he needed it.

"What are you talking about, Harry?" Snape asked, giving Harry more soup.

"This," Harry said, motioning vaguely with his hands. "You give me potions, and you take care of me. You're hand feeding me soup, for Christ's sake! Why? You hate me! I know you do!"

Snape sighed and continued to spoon out the soup. "Of course I don't hate you," he said.

Harry lost his temper at Snape's dismissive tone. He hit away the spoon of soup Snape was trying to give him, sending a spray of broth and vegetables into the wall. "Don't give me that shit!" he said angrily. "You've always hated me! You've never given me any reason to think otherwise!"

"No?" Snape asked calmly. "And what would you call the last three and a half months?"

"Obligation," Harry spat venomously.

Snape sighed again. "I may have… disliked you before, but the reasons for that dislike no longer exist. I am not helping you out of _obligation_, as you so fervently put it. I am helping you because I _care_ about what happens to you."

Harry sat silently, not believing a word Snape said. "I'm tired," he said.

Snape sighed for a third time and stood up. "Go to sleep," he said, still in that infuriatingly patient tone of voice. "You _will_ eat more when you wake up."

"Whatever," Harry muttered. Snape left and closed the door gently.

**TWO**

Severus went to his bedroom and added three drops of dragon's blood to the Curse Blocking Potion. Harry's outburst made him feel very depressed and upset. He'd grown to care for the boy, and the fact that Harry still didn't believe him hurt. Severus rubbed his face roughly as he heard a knock on the door. Ah, at last some way to vent his frustration.

Mike was looking at the floor when Severus opened the door. "Come in," Severus said, turning his back and walking to his bedroom.

Mike came in, closed the door and stood still, looking at the floor.

"Remove your outer robe," Severus said without looking back. Mike complied silently.

"Tell me, Vent," Severus said coldly. "Have you thought about your action?"

"Yes, Caretaker," Mike replied quietly.

"And?" Severus asked sharply.

"It was wrong for me to betray your trust as I did," Mike said.

"You realize, of course," Severus said softly, "that I have not yet finished punishing your insolence."

"Yes, Caretaker," Mike almost whimpered.

"Come here," Severus said. Mike shuffled into the bedroom. "Close the door." Mike did. "You and I are going to play a little game." Severus began lighting candles on his dresser.

"What kind of game, Caretaker?" Mike asked.

Severus smiled, though Mike couldn't see it. Mike remembered Severus' speaking game. "Take off your shoes," he said. Mike did. Severus turned to face the young blonde. "I am going to have my way with you. You will do as I say and will not ask questions. There is a catch." Severus paused; when Mike said nothing he continued. "You must remain silent." Severus turned to a large mahogany chest next to his wardrobe. He opened it and removed a bullwhip and a small knife. He placed these items on the dresser and turned to a rather pale looking Mike. "Now, next door there is a very sick child who is attempting to sleep. Here are the rules; each moan earns you a cut from my knife. Each whimper earns you a burn from my wand. Anything louder than that earns five lashes from my whip. Do you understand the rules?"

Mike was looking decidedly nervous. "Yes, Caretaker," he said weakly. Severus moved across to Mike and caressed the blonde's cheek gently, almost lovingly.

"Do you want me, Vent?" he asked.

"Yes, Caretaker," Mike replied breathlessly.

"What is my name, Vent?"

"Severus."

"You will call me by my name."

"Yes, Severus."

"Do you want to feel me inside of you?"

Mike whimpered a bit and Severus began adding in his head. "Yes, Severus."

Severus broke contact and moved away. "Strip." Mike did. "Lay on your back."

Mike moved to the bed.

"On the floor," Severus elaborated. Mike hesitated. "Now," Severus said coldly. Mike did as he was told. Severus knelt above Mike and began touching the quivering body gently. He smirked as he felt a shiver run through Mike's body. He was going to make Mike as noisy as possible.

**SNIP! SNIP! EDITED FOR NC-17 CONTENT!**

"Kneel," he ordered. Mike did. "Stay that way until I return." Severus went to the bathroom, closed the door, and proceeded to enjoy a thirty-minute shower. When he came out, Mike was still kneeling, though there was an unpleasant grimace on his face.

"Is something wrong, Vent?" Severus asked coldly.

"My legs hurt, Severus," Mike replied.

"You will call me Caretaker," Severus said. "You are careless, Vent, and do not know how to follow directions." He walked to the dresser and picked up the small blade. "You moaned a total of seven times. Hold out your right arm."

Mike turned a sickly green color, but did as he was told. Severus cut seven four-inch lines into Mike's upper arm. Mike was clenching his teeth so as not to make any more noise.

"You can feel free to scream," Severus said as he straightened up.

"But what about…" Mike began.

"I always keep silencing charms on this room," Severus said, throwing Mike a rather evil looking smirk. Mike fell silent. "Now," Severus picked up his wand and put down the knife. "You whimpered three times." He burned Mike three times, underneath the cuts.

"Please, Caretaker," Mike whimpered pathetically.

"You screamed rather a lot," Severus said, ignoring Mike's pleas. "Twelve times, I believe. That's 60 lashes." Severus tucked his wand away and picked up the bullwhip.

"Please, no," Mike begged

Severus smirked. "You knew the rules and chose to ignore them. That is not _my_ fault. Lean forward." Mike did and Severus began lashing him with the whip. He did the full 60 lashes, though he didn't do it as hard as he could have. He didn't want to _kill_ the man, only punish him. After the punishment, Severus knelt down next to a very weak and whimpering Mike.

"Have you learned something today, Vent?" he asked.

Mike nodded mutely.

"What did you learn?" Severus asked.

"I w-will be m-more lo-lo-loyal in f-future, C-caretaker," Mike stammered.

"See that you are," Severus replied. "If I were the Dark Lord, you would be dead by now."

"Y-yes, C-caretaker," Mike said, nodding fervently.

"Good," Severus said, standing up. "Now get dressed and get out of my sight." Twenty minutes later, Mike was gone and Severus was fixing himself a cup of tea.

Harry's harsh words were still weighing heavily on his mind. What hurt were not the words, but the justification behind them. Harry had every reason to _believe_ that Severus hated him. The trouble was that Severus had hated what he _thought_ he knew about the boy. All of those reasons had been destroyed within a week of living with him. Severus found himself becoming extremely protective of Harry. Everything he did was punctuated with thoughts about how those actions would affect his young charge.

Severus shook his head, trying to clear it, and spooned a large amount of sugar into his tea. As he began to mix it in, his knees suddenly went weak and he felt the strength of the bond weaken. Harry was dying.

Severus ran to the bedroom as soon as he regained his balance and found Harry convulsing on the bed, his eyes rolled up into his head. This was not a vision. This was not another curse wracking Harry's body. Severus knew that what he was looking at was an actual seizure. He turned and ran to the fireplace. He took a pinch of floo powder and threw it into the flames.

"Poppy Pomfrey!" he yelled urgently. A moment later, Poppy stepped out of the fire. Severus led her to Harry's room.

Harry stopped shaking as they came in. In fact, he stopped doing anything at all, including breathing.

"Oh my goodness!" Poppy exclaimed, rushing to Harry's side. She put her ear to his chest. "Come here!"

Severus advanced at once. Poppy tilted Harry's head back and used Severus' fingers to pinch Harry's nose.

"I need you to breathe for him," she said.

"What?" Severus asked, suddenly feeling nervous. He'd never seen CPR before.

Poppy placed her hands, one on top of the other, in the center of Harry's chest. "Breathe into his mouth when I tell you," she replied. She pushed down hard, causing Harry's sternum to bend under the pressure. "One, two, three, four, five," she counted. "Breathe!"

Severus bent, put his mouth over Harry's and exhaled. When he lifted up again, Poppy began pumping.

"One, two, three, four, five, breathe!"

Severus breathed again.

"Come on, Harry!" Poppy muttered. "Breathe!"

Severus breathed again, but still nothing happened.

"Don't do this, Harry!" Poppy said, compressing Harry's chest yet again. "Breathe!"

Severus breathed again and this time Harry began coughing roughly.

"Oh, thank Merlin," Poppy said, relieved.

Severus sighed while attempting to keep his composure. He magicked Harry onto a stretcher and followed Poppy to the infirmary.

**THREE **

Harry could hear an argument as he slowly regained consciousness. He forced his brain to pay attention and realized the people who were speaking were Snape and Madame Pomfrey.

"I don't know, Severus!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed. "This is unique! I've never _seen_ anything like this before! No one has!"

"So you won't even _try_?" Snape asked. His voice was curiously strained as though he were almost in tears. "Don't you understand that he's _dying_, Poppy? His body is being destroyed from the inside out! You must help him!"

"I am not a miracle worker, Severus," Madame Pomfrey said gently.

Harry heard a sound that was unmistakably soft weeping. "Fine," Snape said after a moment, his voice thicker than before. "I will take care of him myself." Harry heard footsteps moving toward his bed.

"Of course I'll help him, Severus," Madame Pomfrey said. Her voice was also starting to sound strained. "It would be best if you left him with me. I'm much better at Charms than you are."

Snape sighed heavily. "Two weeks, Poppy," he said. "That's all I need is two more weeks. If you can keep him alive until then, then he will be fine. The potion will be ready in two more weeks."

"I can't promise anything, Severus," Madame Pomfrey replied. "I'll try, but I can't guarantee that he'll make it."

Harry heard a strangled sob before Snape spoke again. "I suppose that is all I can ask for," he said at last. Harry heard more footsteps coming toward him and then the creak of chair as Snape sat next to his bed.

"What are you doing?" Madame Pomfrey asked.

"I am staying with him," Snape replied quietly.

"I think not!" Madame Pomfrey said. "You're going back to your quarters and getting some sleep!"

"I am staying here!" Snape said forcefully.

"Then you will sleep in one of my beds," Madame Pomfrey replied. "Because you're certainly not staying awake. You're dead on your feet!"

Harry heard Snape stand. "Very well," he said wearily. "You will inform me right away if anything changes?"

"Of course," Madame Pomfrey said gently. "Now go!" Harry could see her pointing at the exit in his mind's eye and went back to sleep with a small, indiscernible smile on his face.

**FOUR**

Severus returned to his rooms feeling thoroughly depressed. He hadn't cried in nearly twenty years and it hurt to do so. He'd grown so attached to Harry. He'd gotten so used to the boy being there. He grown accustomed to Harry's mumbled 'G'morning Professor's' and his groggy frowns before breakfast. The very _thought_ of Harry dying was enough to wrench a sob from him.

Severus poured himself a Scotch-on-the-rocks and sat down on his couch. He had no intention of doing what Poppy had asked/ordered him to do. His mind was so full of worry and pain that he knew sleep would be impossible. He closed his eyes and let his mind take him elsewhere…

_An eighteen-year-old Severus was standing on the wooden porch of a very old, yet beautiful house. He looked out over the meadow in which the house was situated, fascinated by the way the wildflowers painted the landscape with so many different colors. He smiled as he felt strong arms encircle his waist from behind and he leaned back into the embrace._

"_Your home is beautiful," Severus said happily. "Thank you."_

"_For what, Severus?" a deep voice asked gently._

"_For bringing me here," Severus replied. "For showing me your home." He turned around in the embrace and looked up at his slightly taller lover. Jason McCullen had a load of black hair and eyes so pale blue that they looked like crystals. His dark tan made his eyes shine more brightly as he smiled down at Severus. Severus had always had a soft spot for dark-haired men with brilliantly colored eyes, and tanned skin. He found them beautiful, and Jason was no exception._

"_I love you, Severus," Jason said gently. "You deserve to know everything about my life."_

_Severus kissed Jason's mouth softly and then leaned against his chest. "I love you too, Jason."_

Severus opened his eyes and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He shook his head as he remembered his only true lover. Never again would he allow himself to become so enamored with someone. He had trusted Jason blindly, never willing to believe Jason capable of wrongdoing or treachery. Jason had been his biggest and most painful mistake.

_Eleven-year-old Severus sat alone on the black leather couch in the Slytherin common room feeling like the ultimate outcast. No one had ever liked him, and he certainly didn't expect that to change just because he had come to Hogwarts._

_As he sulkily began his very first piece of homework, a long and irritating Transfiguration essay, a boy came over and sat next to him._

"_Hello," Jason said. Even at twelve, his voice had been somewhat deep and impressive. "I'm Jason."_

_Severus was so surprised that all he could do was stare._

"_What's your name?" Jason prompted gently._

"_Er," Severus said intelligently. "Severus Snape."_

"_Snape, huh?" Jason asked. "My surname is McCullen. I noticed you were struggling with your essay."_

_Severus nodded mutely._

"_Would you like some help?" Jason asked. "Transfiguration is my best subject."_

"_Sure," Severus replied. "Thanks."_

"_No problem."_

Jason had been so convincing. Severus never thought to question his sincerity. How foolish he had been. Seeing Harry struggling for life brought back many painful memories that he had hoped were forgotten. Harry lay dying in the infirmary and the last time Severus had spoken to him, it had been a fight of sorts. Severus couldn't stand the thought of Harry dying believing all of those horrible things. It hurt Severus a great deal to think that he had betrayed Harry, just as Jason had betrayed _him_, Severus. Harry had trusted Severus to keep him alive, and Severus had let him down in the worst way possible. Harry was going to die a slow, agonizing death and there was nothing Severus could do to prevent it. He didn't really believe that Poppy would be able to get Harry through the next two weeks, and the thought brought him to tears for the third time that night. For the first time in his life, he had failed to live up to a promise. Why did it have to be the most _important_ promise he had ever made?

Severus sighed heavily and placed his untouched scotch on the table. It was nearing three in the morning now and Severus felt it was safe to go back to the infirmary unnoticed. He stalked through the halls silently and entered the infirmary like a ghost. Harry was in the third bed down the row, his pale face illuminated by a beam of moonlight coming in through the window across from him. Severus moved closer and sat in a chair next to Harry's bed. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, his head hanging sorrowfully.

'_How could this happen?'_ he thought miserably. _'Harry is too young to be forced to suffer so much. Is it really too much to ask for a little peace for the boy? Harry doesn't deserve to die, damn it! He doesn't deserve to have such an unhappy life!' _He began to breathe deeply to prevent more tears from spilling.

**FIVE**

Harry felt very groggy and disoriented when he woke up early that morning. He opened his eyes slightly and was startled to find a dark head next to him. It appeared that Professor Snape had come back and fallen asleep in the chair next to Harry's bed.

Harry looked around at the window and saw the gray light of early morning. He wondered how he had ended up in the hospital wing _again_, and then he turned back to Professor Snape. He'd never seen his professor asleep before, except that time he had fallen asleep on Professor Snape's bed. Professor Snape was one of the only people he'd ever seen who managed to look uptight even in sleep.

The professor's eyebrows were drawn, his forehead creased with unknown worries. One hand was lightly touching Harry's left hand, the other was acting as Professor Snape's pillow. His hair was spread across the sheet, laying in tangles around his head. Harry was amazed to find that Professor Snape's hair did not look greasy at all. Harry felt a sharp wave of guilt roll through him.

'_What have I done?' _he wondered. _'I said such horrible things to him and didn't even apologize! He's done so much for me, and now he's worried sick about me. I'm such a terrible and ungrateful person.'_

"I'm sorry, sir," Harry whispered. " I didn't mean it." He closed his eyes and allowed himself to succumb to his body's fatigue.

Harry's mind slowly began to register people talking around him. He was entirely too exhausted to open his eyes.

"You were supposed to _sleep_, Severus," Madame Pomfrey scolded. "I know just what you did. You went down to your room and waited for me to go to bed before coming back up here."

"So what if I did?" Professor Snape asked sounding annoyed. "He shouldn't be left alone."

"You're going to worry yourself into an early grave."

"It's the bond," Professor Snape said softly. "I can feel his discomfort. Something like that makes it difficult to sleep."

"Then sever the bond," Madame Pomfrey said. There was a moment of tense silence.

"No," Professor Snape said at last.

"Why not?" Madame Pomfrey asked. "He's perfectly safe here with me. You don't need…"

"I am not severing the bond," Professor Snape said firmly.

Madame Pomfrey sighed heavily. "Have you thought about how this will effect him, Severus?"

"What are you rambling about?" Professor Snape asked irritably.

"He already blames himself for so many things," Madame Pomfrey explained. "Do you really want your declining health on his head as well?" Again, there was a long silence.

"I will take better care of myself," Professor Snape said at last. Harry heard him stand up. "But I am _not_ severing the bond." Harry heard the receding footsteps as Professor Snape began walking away.

"Where are you going, Severus?" Madame Pomfrey asked wearily.

"I am going to retrieve his friends from breakfast," Professor Snape said. Harry heard the unmistakable sound of the door opening and closing.

Harry struggled with consciousness for the next several minutes, his mind vaguely registering the sounds of Madame Pomfrey moving around the hospital wing. At last, he opened his eyes, groaning at the bright light coming from outside.

"Harry?" Madame Pomfrey asked gently. Harry saw a white blur that was the medi-witch coming toward him.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"You got sick last night," Madame Pomfrey replied. She propped Harry up on a large pile of pillows. She held a potion vial up to Harry's lips. "Drink this, dear."

Harry drank the potion, which had a fruity flavor, and felt some energy return to him. "A Restorative Draught," he muttered. "Thanks." He leaned back against his pillows and closed his eyes. He felt energy coming back to him slowly and his stomach grumbled angrily. "I'm hungry," he said.

"I'll order something from the kitchens for you," Madame Pomfrey said. As she walked away, the hospital wing doors opened and Ron and Hermione came in, closely followed by Professor Snape.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, looking both surprised and worried.

"Hi guys," Harry said weakly as Ron and Hermione ran to his side.

"Oh, Harry, what happened?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged noncommittally. "Madame Pomfrey says… that I got sick," he said. He felt so tired, but the potion was keeping him alert.

"Sick how?" Ron asked.

"She wouldn't say," Harry replied. "I can't… remember what… happened."

Ron and Hermione exchanged a look and then watched curiously as Professor Snape sat down on the other side of the bed.

Ron gave Harry a perplexed look while Hermione glanced at the dark professor from the corner of her eyes.

"We… er," Hermione said distractedly, glancing at Professor Snape again. She shook her head as though to clear it and looked back at Harry. "We have class soon. I…"

"You have _my_ class first, if you've forgotten," Professor Snape said icily. "I will tell you when it is time."

"Yes, sir," Hermione replied, looking as though she would like nothing more than to give Professor Snape a piece of her mind. "We can bring your assignments for you, if you like."

"I hardly think-" Professor Snape started.

"That sounds great," Harry said over him, throwing Professor Snape a reproachful look. As Professor Snape opened his mouth to say something, Madame Pomfrey came in with porridge for Harry.

"That's enough," she said. "You three, go to your classes and let this boy rest! Go on! Out!"

**SIX **

Severus ushered the two Gryffindors out of the infirmary as Poppy began helping Harry with his breakfast. Granger was the first to stop walking.

"I want to know what is going on!" she snapped.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Granger," Severus replied coldly.

"Take all the points you like," she spat back.

"Hermione," Weasley said in a warning tone.

"No!" Granger said. "I'm not moving from this spot until I know what is going on!"

Severus looked at her incredulously. "You will not-"

"Put me in detention then!" she cut him off. "I don't _care_! I want to know what's the matter with my friend!"

Severus considered putting the impertinent girl in detention for the rest of the year, but decided to answer her question instead. "He's dying."

A very unpleasant silence hung in the air following this statement, and silent tears began to fall from Granger's eyes.

"You wanted to know," Severus said coldly. "Now come along before you make me late." He walked away without looking back.

Severus was in his office that evening, grading papers, when Umbridge came in. He ignored her.

"Hem, hem," she said.

"May I help you?" Severus asked without looking up.

"Mr. Potter was not in class today," Umbridge said sweetly.

"No," Severus agreed. "He was not."

"Might I ask why?"

Severus bit back a sarcastic reply. "He is ill."

"I wish to see him."

"He is currently in the infirmary. I'm sure he'll be _pleased _to know that you _care_."

"I'm sure he will," Umbridge said with a smile, her horrible pointed teeth showing. Severus suppressed a shudder.

"If you'll excuse me, _Delores_, I have much work to do."

"Of course, Severus. Good evening."

"Good evening." Severus replied. Umbridge left without saying anything else. Severus put down his quill and rubbed his eyes. He simply couldn't concentrate. He decided to go to the infirmary before going to bed.

As he reached the top of the marble staircase, his legs went weak. Once he'd steadied himself, he quickened his pace toward the infirmary. As he reached the corridor, he heard yelling.

"Get out!" Poppy was yelling.

"I demand to know what is happening!" Umbridge yelled back, not a trace of her sickening girlish simper present.

"You don't have authority to demand anything from me!" Severus turned the corner in time to see Poppy physically pushing Umbridge into the hall. "Get out of my infirmary, you horrible woman!"

"I want to speak to Potter, now," Umbridge replied, attempting to regain her calm demeanor.

Poppy threw her hands up and then spotted Severus. "Oh, thank goodness!" she said. "Would you take care of this, Professor Snape? I have a patient who needs immediate care." With that, she vanished through the double doors.

"What is the meaning of this?" Severus asked sharply.

"I want to talk to the boy, and that _nurse_ won't let me in," Umbridge replied, her false sweetness back to full force.

"She probably has good reason," Severus replied. "Potter's health is very unstable right now. Excuse me." He breezed passed her into the infirmary.

"I don't want that woman back in here," Poppy said without looking up. She was tucking Harry in and there was a potion vial on the table next to the bed.

"I will speak to Albus," Severus replied.

Poppy walked away without a reply.

"Sir?" Harry asked. His voice sounded strained and tired.

Severus moved to the bed. "What is it, Harry?" he asked.

"I… wanted you to know… that I… didn't mean… what I said."

Severus sighed. "I know that, Harry," he said.

"I just… don't want… to die… with you… thinking that… I hate you. I don't hate you."

"I know, Harry," Severus said gently. "Just get some sleep now."

"Yes, sir," Harry replied. "Good night."

"Good night, Harry."

* * *

**Author's Note: Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for making this legible. Thanks also to…**

**Sliver of Melody: I hope Mike's punishment will hold you over for a bit.**

**LeeLeePotter: No, Mike learned his lesson the first time around as far as that goes. That was more a case of Severus being protective, though.**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Your story is very interesting. I like it. As for Umbridge, I can only assume that JKR needs her for something later on. We can still hope that she'll die.**

**CognitioneDignus: This one's not much better, but I assure you that Harry will live to see another day. Where would my story be without him?**

**Tamyka**

**Chibi-Kaisie: I started writing it before OotP came out, but when I read it, I decided 'What the hay? I can use this in my story.' And so ATTWH came into being.**

**SofiaDragon**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**Sword of Magic**

**Nicky 12330**


	11. A Matter of SelfPreservation

**Chapter Eleven**

**A Matter of Self-Preservation**

**ONE **

He sat in his common room, wondering if the rumors flying around the school were true. He stared into the fireplace, thinking about the ramifications of his most recent actions. He was getting in far too deep, and if the rumors _were_ true, then there was no turning back. The path he had chosen seemed to be set in stone.

'_My family is torn asunder,' _he thought. _'To whom would I turn if I changed my life now? I know no one who is worthy of my trust, nor are there any who would trust me in return. I must discover the truth, if only to make my decisions easier.' _He stood from his seat and moved toward the bare strip of wall that was the exit.

"Draco, sweetie," a girl behind him said. She had blonde hair and a puggish face, though Draco would never tell her he thought that.

"What is it, Pansy?" he asked, turning back to look at the girl.

"Where are you going?" Pansy simpered. "It's late, you know."

"I'm going for a walk, Pansy," Draco replied calmly. "Alone." He turned and walked out without waiting for a reply. His father had arranged a very large bride price to buy Pansy for Draco. Draco did not wish to marry the simpering fool, but his decision depended on what results were yielded by his nighttime stroll.

He moved silently through the halls, a trick he had learned from Snape, and began his ascent from the bowels of the castle. As he pushed open the double doors, he glanced around the dark room. He walked to the third bed in the row against the inside wall and looked down at the dark figure in it.

Potter looked extremely thin and pale, his dark hair standing out in great relief against his now sallow skin. Draco's pale eyes widened slightly, his brain finding it difficult to wrap around this new information. The rumors were true; Potter was dying. Draco sank down into one of many chairs near Potter's bed and began to think.

'_All right, this is not such a shock that you must completely shut down. Potter is dying. I knew it could be true when I came up here. I must consider my position carefully and logically. With Potter gone, the Dark Lord has a clear path to taking Britain. I am most protected where I am.' _Draco got up again and went to the lavatory at the end of the row. He closed the door and the torches lit. He splashed cool water on his face from the tap and stared into the mirror.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" the mirror asked.

"Couldn't sleep," Draco replied absently.

"The nurse could give you something for that," the mirror commented. "She's the best we've had in years."

"Yeah," Draco said coldly. "Well, her best isn't good enough." The mirror scoffed as Draco opened the door and stepped back into the ward. He found himself face to face with the bushy haired Mudblood, Hermione Granger.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" she asked angrily but quietly.

"I'm paying my _respects_ to a dying classmate," Draco replied with the air of one commenting on the weather.

"You're not welcome here," Granger spat.

"Ah," Draco replied, walking passed her and back to Potter's bed. "But I was here first, if you'll recall."

"I don't care if you _invented_ the bloody hospital wing!" Granger said with more venom than Draco thought possible. "He's my friend! You've caused him nothing but grief for four years, now get out!"

Draco stared at her for a moment. He'd never heard her curse before. "I'm not leaving," he said at last.

Granger began to flush with suppressed rage. "If you don't leave, I'm going to make you leave," she said in a dangerous whisper.

Draco did not doubt the viability of her statement. She was better at almost every branch of magic than he was. "I have as much right to be here as you do," he said with false calm. In truth, he was worrying about what spell she might hex him with. "I'm not leaving."

She looked like she too was considering what hex to use, but Potter chose that moment to wake up.

"Please stop fighting," he mumbled weakly. "I can't sleep."

Granger's face softened and she moved toward him. "I'm sorry, Harry," she said. "I'll be quiet."

"Who're you fighting with?" Potter asked.

"It doesn't matter, Harry," Granger said gently. "Go back to sleep."

"M'kay," Potter replied. After a moment, his deep breathing signified his return to sleep.

"Fine," Granger whispered. "We'll call a silent truce, for now, but only because it would be too noisy to hex you."

Draco smirked. "How very _kind_ of you, Mudblood."

Granger tensed, flushed, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, appeared to count to ten, and then proceeded to ignore Draco completely.

Time seemed to go by in great clumps, and Draco found his mind wandering through his many options. All of his decisions rested on Potter's life or death. He didn't like feeling so out of control of his own destiny, but he had little choice. He looked across at Granger and saw that she was knitting something, though he couldn't tell what it was.

"Hermione?" Potter's voice questioned weakly

Granger lowered her knitting and picked up Potter's hand. "What is it, Harry?" she asked.

"Where's Ron?" Potter asked.

Granger rolled her eyes in a fond sort of way. "He's let his homework pile up, _again_, and I left him in the common room to finish it. He's probably asleep on the table by now."

Potter laughed weakly. "That sounds… just like Ron," he said.

"You've kept up better than he has, and you're not even going to classes!" Granger said, smiling softly.

"I have… more free time," Potter joked.

Granger swallowed as tears sprang to her eyes. "That's true," she whispered.

"Don't be sad… Hermione," Potter said. "Everything is as it … should be. Don't… cry for things… you can't… change."

The tears fell silently as Granger tried to control them. "Don't say that, Harry," she said. "You're not going anywhere. We all love you and we're not going to let you go."

"You don't… have much choice," Potter replied gravely. "I've finally… reached the time… to pay my penance."

"You don't owe any penance!" Granger exclaimed. "You've done nothing wrong!"

"But I have," Potter argued. "It was my fault… that Cedric died. I deserve… everything-"

"You don't _deserve_ any of this!" Granger interrupted angrily. "You're a good person and you didn't hurt _anyone_!"

"I'm sorry… Hermione," Potter said. "I didn't mean… to upset you."

Granger snuffled and squeezed Potter's hand. "I'm sorry too, Harry. I just hate to see you this way."

"It's 'kay," Potter replied. " 'M tired."

"You go to sleep now, Harry," Granger replied.

Silence fell as Granger allowed Potter to fall back to sleep. She kept glancing at Draco as though expecting him to do something. After a while, he gave in and left the hospital wing.

He walked slowly back to his common room, his question answered, but new questions swirling around in his head. What penance was Potter talking about? Draco knew that Diggory had died, but the circumstances that had been relayed to him in no way indicated that the event had been Potter's doing.

**TWO**

November arrived to find Draco still watching and waiting, biding his time until he knew what was going to happen. He'd already played Gryffindor at Quidditch, but the game had lost its charm without Potter there to challenge his skill. The mini Weasley had taken Potter's place on the team, but she held nothing on Draco.

Potter was still in the hospital wing, though Draco wasn't certain how he was. Draco had visited again, but it was always so late that Potter was always asleep. He couldn't get in earlier because Granger always seemed to be there. She seemed to be waiting for Draco to try something. Perhaps she thought that Draco wanted to finish Potter off. Whatever the reason, she made it extremely difficult for Draco to make the necessary observations for him to decide whether he thought Potter would live.

Draco had seen Snape going up to the hospital wing on several occasions looking grave. The meeting with the Dark Lord had been cancelled due to Potter's poor health. The Dark Lord wanted Potter healthy, though Draco didn't know why. It was obvious that Potter couldn't be killed when he was feeling up to par.

As another week passed, the feeling of the castle changed. For the past month, the student body had been somber, waiting to see if the hero would live. Draco found their fickle nature amusing. Before all of them knew how seriously ill Potter was, they were all spouting about what a liar he was. Now they all seemed to think him worthy of praise once again because he was on his deathbed. Hypocrites, all of them.

Draco was currently standing outside of the hospital wing, listening to Snape and Potter converse. Potter sounded better today than he had when he'd spoken to Granger so many weeks ago.

"You haven't felt anything at all?" Snape asked.

"I felt a little tingle in my scar yesterday," Potter replied. "But it only lasted for a moment."

"So two weeks into the treatment and you've felt nothing else? No other pain?"

"No, sir."

There was a loud sigh and then someone sat heavily. "It's working," Snape said after a moment. "Fifty points to Gryffindor for out doing you Potions Master."

Potter chuckled. "Yes, but you gave me the premises, and we _were_ talking about the beetle not long before I looked at the formula."

"I don't know any other fifth year students who would have figured it out," Snape replied lightly.

Draco decided that he didn't need to hear any more. His mind was whirring as he walked through the deserted halls of Hogwarts. All of the other students were outside, playing in the snow or skating on the frozen lake. Draco had important decisions to make and didn't have time for such frivolous activities.

It appeared that Potter was going to live to fight another day. It also appeared that Snape had grown fond of the boy. Draco was uncertain of whether Snape really enjoyed having Potter around, or if it was part of his plan to deliver Potter to the Dark Lord. Whatever it was, Snape seemed to have gained Potter's trust. Draco had made his decision. He needed to speak to Dumbledore…

Ten minutes later, Draco was standing in front of the stone gargoyle, staring at the thing blankly. He realized that he had no clue where to begin with guessing at passwords. The possibilities were endless and Draco didn't have time to waste going through the entire spectrum of words to find the right one.

"Bloody Hell," he said disparagingly.

"Language, Mr. Malfoy," said a sickly sweet voice behind him. He turned to see Umbridge looking at him with a fake smile.

"My apologies, Professor Umbridge," Draco said, smiling brightly. "It's just that I really must speak with the headmaster and I've no idea what the password might be."

"Oh, I see," Umbridge said. "Well, you're such a nice young man. The password is cotton candy."

"Thank you, Professor Umbridge," Draco replied. He waited for her to turn the far corner before going up to Dumbledore's office.

"Come in," Dumbledore called as Draco lifted his hand to knock. Draco stared at the door for a moment before opening it and going into the office.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said as Draco closed the door. "Sit down. Would you like some tea?"

Draco sat elegantly. "No, thank you, sir," he said. "I have something to discuss with you."

Dumbledore put down the quill he had been writing with and looked directly at Draco. "What about?" he asked, folding his hands on top of the desk.

Draco unconsciously ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I'm not certain how to start."

"Perhaps the best place to start would be at the beginning," Dumbledore suggested.

"Very well," Draco said, running his hand through his hair again. "I assume that you are aware of my father's affiliation with the Dark Lord?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"Are you also aware of how the Death Eater's organization works?"

"I am."

Draco cleared his throat and shifted slightly in his seat. "To become a Death Eater one must first become what is called a 'Vent'."

"I am aware of the Vent system," Dumbledore said gently.

Draco nodded and took a moment to gather his thoughts.

"I am my father's Vent," he said after a moment. "I suppose you know the… implications of that."

Dumbledore nodded.

"I'm aware that most of the Death Eaters believe that I… enjoy the arrangement. Needless to say, I am a very accomplished actor. I've been watching the people around me, including the… _thing_ they serve and I've decided that I want no part of their vision."

"And what brought you to this decision?" Dumbledore asked.

"If you're asking whether I had some kind of moral dilemma, then no, that wasn't it."

"Then what was it?"

"I'm a Slytherin, Professor Dumbledore. What do _you_ think?"

"What's there for you if you betray your father?" Dumbledore asked, leaning forward a bit.

"It's a matter of self-preservation," Draco said, shrugging. "Look at it from my point of view. If the Dark Lord wins this war, and right now that seems likely, I get to spend the rest of my life kissing his robes and suffering at the end of his wand. It does not sound appealing to me."

"I'm glad that you've realized that, Mr. Malfoy, but what would you have me do?"

"Let me tell you a story. There's this Dark Lord who really wants to take over the world. He enjoys killing people and humiliating his followers. At the same time there's a boy with black hair and stupid looking black-framed glasses. This boy is only person to have been targeted by the Dark Lord and lived. He's met the Dark Lord at least four times and always lived to tell the tale. Now, in this story there is also another boy. This boy has watched everything from the sidelines and seen the boy with the horrible glasses exhibit true power. Suddenly, the powerful boy gets sick. So sick, in fact, that a rumor started circulating that he was going to die. The light haired boy wanted to know what could damage someone with so much power, so he went for a visit. Does any of that sound familiar to you?"

"Some of it."

"I'll tell you what I've… deduced from my little visit to the hospital wing. Potter looked very ill to me. He was pale and when he spoke, he had trouble breathing."

"He spoke to you?"

"No."

"Then who?"

"Granger stopped by. I don't think Potter even knew I was there. Actually, I went back a few times and I've come to a conclusion. Potter's illness is somehow connected to the Dark Lord."

Dumbledore watched Draco silently for a moment before speaking. "What brought you to that conclusion?"

"The epilepsy claim, actually," Draco replied. "One does not just _contract_ epilepsy as though it were a cold. Epilepsy comes from damage caused by a severe and prolonged lack of oxygen circulating through the brain tissue, usually caused by delayed breathing at birth. I couldn't help but wonder what Potter could have been up to during the summer to cause such an affliction."

"That's a very astute observation, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said stoically.

Draco smirked.

"I still don't see the connection to Voldemort," Dumbledore went on.

Draco flinched at the forbidden name. "I'm getting there. I served a detention with Potter in our first year."

"I remember."

"Yeah, well there was something in the forest that night, which I found out later was You-Know-Who. When Potter and I got close to it, Potter started clutching at that scar of his. I've also seen him rub at it half a dozen times since. It's logical to assume that there's some kind of bond there."

"Why is that a logical assumption?" Dumbledore asked.

Draco felt a mild prickle of irritation but pushed it aside. "Potter is the only person to have ever survived the killing curse. Further more, the curse rebounded upon its originator, but did not kill him. An amateur spell caster could see the beginnings of a magical bonding, however unwilling the affected parties. I believe that Potter's affliction is directly related to his link with the Dark Lord and has nothing to do with epilepsy."

Dumbledore regarded Draco quietly with an almost calculating expression on his face. "You should consider a career in law, Mr. Malfoy," he said at last.

The statement threw Draco off of his thread and he stared at Dumbledore incredulously.

"My question is what are you planning to do with this information," Dumbledore said after a moment.

"I want out," Draco replied. "I'm not very useful as a spy or anything of the sort, but if I stay where I am, I won't live to see my graduation. Potter is going to kill the Dark Lord one day, and I plan to be on the winning team. My father told me what happened last June, and quite frankly, I don't want to ever find myself on the receiving end of one of Potter's curses."

"You're making a very dangerous decision by doing this, Mr. Malfoy. Are you prepared to face the possible consequences of you actions?"

"Do you think I would have come up here without taking the consequences into consideration? I'm not a stupid little boy with no thoughts about the future. A world ruled over by You-Know-Who is not a world I want to live in. If _you_ win, the worse that could happen is that Potter becomes Minister of Magic one day. I think I could live with that. At least then I'd know that I wouldn't be kissing anyone's robes."

"How can I trust you? If things don't go the way you're expecting, what's to stop you from going back on your word?"

Draco laughed a bit. "The Dark Lord may have a lot in common with you, but forgiveness is not one of them. If he finds out about this, and he will, then I'm a dead man. He'll lecture me about loyalty, torture me and then rip me apart with the dismemberment curse. Maybe he'll have my father kill me to prove _his_ loyalty."

"What do you expect from me?"

"Protection."

"From what?"

"Them."

"That covers a lot of people, Mr. Malfoy. I can't protect you from your housemates should they find out."

"You protect Potter."

"Harry has the benefit of blood magic. His mother protects him more than I do."

"So what then?"

"I will do what I can for you. I'll have to speak to a few trusted colleagues about your living arrangements during the summer, but it can be done."

"What about while I'm at school?"

"I'm not certain. You'll have to keep this a secret until I find a solution."

"That's it? I wait?"

"That's the best I can do right now."

Draco stood up. "Thank you for your time." He turned and started to walk away.

"One more thing, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said.

Draco turned and looked at the old man.

"I suggest you try to get along with your new allies."

The Gryffindor Trio. Draco hadn't thought of them. He nodded once and walked away. Dumbledore seemed to know a lot about Death Eaters and Vents. Draco wondered where the old coot got his information.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks goes to Victoria Ennis for her help on this chapter. Thanks also to…**

**Medicated Drama Queen: I will remember my oath, not to worry. As for Dëlîgo Sanguis, I don't have most of that story. It was a vamp fic as well as my own take on Severitus. We'll see how much Ktoddhim has saved before I decide to go on with it.**

**Sliver of Melody: Well, I tried. I'd do more to him, but I need him later on. Sorry.**

**Chibi-Kaisie: The fic is a total of 32 chapters, so just over twenty to go. As for Jason, we'll see more with him later on.**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Hehehehe I did that because I want to show that even though Snape is capable of being loving and caring, he didn't become a Death Eater without a sadistic side. Hehehehehehhehehehe**

**Ktoddhim: That all depends on how much of Dëlîgo Sanguis you have saved, because I only have the first two chapters. If you have most of it, I may consider reposting and completing it, but right now that's just on this side of impossible.**

**Sword of Magic**

**Sh'arra Rie: I tried to email you the chapter, but it said 'ausitn' is an unknown server. Could you send your email addy again please?**

**LeeLeePotter: Snape wouldn't be Snape without his snarkiness.**

**Fire Tempest**

**CogniDi: Snape will be very OOC in regards to Harry by the end of this, but we all get to see the process he goes through to get there, so hopefully it won't be too shocking.**

**Nicky12330**

**Starangel2106**

**Jujube15**

**LiLy MaLfOy13**


	12. Suspicious Behavior

**Chapter Twelve**

**Suspicious Behavior**

**ONE**

Harry was irritated. He sat in Transfiguration, tapping his fingers on the top of his desk waiting for McGonagall to arrive. He was aware of the people who kept throwing him nervous glances, but he was doing his best to ignore them.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Hermione whispered to him. "You seem annoyed."

"I'm fine," Harry said. "I just wish people would stop staring at me." He didn't bother to lower his voice and a few people turned hastily to the front of the room. Hermione looked like she was going to say something, but McGonagall came in and class started.

The end of November brought terrible snowstorms and all Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology classes were cancelled.

"Come along Harry!" Snape called from the other room. "You're going to make me late!"

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up slowly. His back was hurting because of a vision from the previous night, so his movements were very deliberate. Snape looked distinctly irritated when Harry entered.

"Finally," he barked, moving to the door. "Let's go." He walked out and Harry followed him as quickly as his injured back would allow. They were oblivious to the fact that when Harry had taken the potion, it would wear off last week of the month. Thus, Snape was unaware of Harry's injury because the bond had been severed when the potion was in effect. Harry grimaced slightly as he sat at the Gryffindor table.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Ron asked, seeing Harry's face.

"Fine," Harry replied, eyeing Umbridge distastefully. The last thing he needed was for _her _to find out about his visions. She'd probably give him another week's detention. Ron followed Harry's gaze.

"Yeah, she makes me feel sick too," he said, thinking Umbridge was the cause of Harry's discomfort. Harry didn't bother to correct him.

"She makes _everyone_ feel sick," Hermione said, reading the newspaper as she ate.

"Didn't you read that this morning?" Harry asked her.

"I can read it again if I like," Hermione replied.

Harry shook his head and started on his dinner. It was still early when he began to feel his scar prickling. "I think I'll go to bed," he said, standing up. His face contorted in pain and he gripped the table when his robes rubbed along his back painfully.

"What's the matter, Harry?" Hermione asked her voice filled with concern.

Ron gripped Harry's arm to steady him. "Maybe you should see the nurse," he said.

"I'm fine," Harry said, straightening up. "It's just some side effects from being sick." He gave his friends a bright smile to prove his point.

Hermione didn't look convinced, but she said, "Okay, Harry. Good night."

"See you in the morning," Harry said and walked out of the Hall; many eyes following him.

When Harry reached his room, he redressed his wounds and then got into bed. He lay shivering for some time before sleep finally claimed him.

**TWO **

Severus was slightly concerned when he watched Harry leave the Great Hall. The boy looked like he was in pain, though Severus couldn't think of a cause for that. He scanned the Great Hall and his eyes rested on the Slytherin table. Draco was staring at the doors of the Hall as though he had been stricken.

Albus had informed Severus of Draco's change of allegiance, but Severus didn't trust the boy. Draco was a true Slytherin with all of the selfish cunning that set Slytherins apart. Nothing Draco was thinking could be anything good. Severus wondered why Harry's departure should upset Draco, but he decided that he didn't want to know.

Severus waited several minutes before deciding that Harry wasn't going to come back. He rose from his chair and walked back to his rooms swiftly. He stood at Harry's door and listened carefully. When he decided nothing was wrong, Severus went to take a hot shower. As he bathed, he found his mind wandering to the past, as had been happening more frequently since Harry had fallen ill.

_Thirty-seven-year-old Severus stood by the lake at Hogwarts, his sense of betrayal and hurt pulsating through his heart. He could hear the grass crunching behind him and knew that Jason was approaching._

"_You're being silly, Severus," Jason said, stopping next to Severus. He bent and picked up a rock. "This was my decision, not yours."_

"_You knew how I felt about all of this," Severus said, not looking at his lover. "You knew it would hurt me. That's why you didn't tell me. How could you do this? You've heard the stories I've told you about the torture, the death! I thought you were better than this!" His anger was coursing through his veins, mingling with the hurt and betrayal until he couldn't distinguish between them._

"_I wanted the power," Jason said. "I wanted to feel his magic and know that I shared in his vision. I would never betray you, Severus. I won't ever tell him that you're a traitor to our cause."_

_Severus restrained himself from hitting Jason, choosing to turn his back and walk away instead._

_Jason threw his stone into the lake and went after Severus, grabbing his arm to turn him around._

"_Do not speak to me about being a traitor!" Severus snapped. "You were supposed to be better than me! You were supposed to be stronger than this! You promised me you would never join him, and look at what you've done!" He wrenched up Jason's sleeve to reveal a hideous skull with a snake for a tongue, the Dark Mark, as black as night on Jason's left forearm._

"_Do you think you're so righteous?" Jason asked coldly. "Have you forgotten that you bear the Mark as well?"_

"_At least I've done something to try to make up for it," Severus growled. "You're nothing. You're worthless, and I want nothing more to do with you!"_

"_Would you throw away all of our years together?"_

"_You threw them away the day you became Lucius' Vent." Severus turned sharply and stormed back to the castle. He couldn't imagine what he'd done to deserve such torture. He was back to being a Death Eater after nearly fourteen years and his lover had betrayed his trust…_

Severus ran his long fingers through his damp hair, trying to dispel the memories plaguing him. He didn't know what was bringing these thoughts to his mind, but he wanted nothing more than to forget his past completely. For some reason, every time he looked at Harry he felt a strong sense of sadness and helplessness. He'd made a promise to protect Harry; a promise he should've known he wouldn't be able to keep.

Severus set his journal aside and rubbed his eyes. "I really should sleep more," he mumbled. As early as he'd gotten in bed, it was now nearing 3 a.m. Just as he lay down and closed his eyes, he heard a pained moan from Harry's room. Severus was out of bed in an instant, and a moment later, he was in Harry's bedroom.

Harry was asleep, buried in heavy blankets, but his sleep was restless. Severus sighed in relief; it was only a nightmare. He went back to his room and collapsed onto his bed in exhaustion, falling asleep immediately.

**THREE **

Severus was sitting at his dining table, sipping a mug of tea and reading _The Bubbling Cauldron _quietly when he heard a sharp knocking on his door. Grumbling, he stood up and opened the door, revealing a stern looking Albus.

"How did I know it would be you?" Severus asked dryly, walking back to his seat. Albus came in and closed the door.

Severus looked at him stoically, waiting for him to continue.

"I think it would be best for you start the Occlumency lessons."

"No, Albus," Severus said at once. "I've told you, he needs to get stronger before we start with that."

"The less of that potion he needs, the better," replied Albus. "Occlumency will ensure that he can defend his mind from Voldemort without the potion."

"His magic needs time to heal, Albus" Severus said. "The potion allows him to stay strong while his magical centers regain their balance. He can start Occlumency once he's strong enough."

"I don't think he's being entirely honest with us about how well the potion is working. I saw him walking by the lake today and he looked like he was in pain. Has he told you anything?"

"No," Severus replied in annoyance. "I've asked him, but he denies that anything is wrong."

"Then you should find out whether he is telling the truth," Albus said sternly.

"He hasn't had any visions, Albus," Severus said through clenched teeth. "I would know. I would have _heard_ him."

"Start the Occlumency, Severus, "Albus demanded. "I think he is ready. I also think that to wait any longer could be disastrous. By this time next week, I'd better hear that he's making progress."

"Very well, Albus," Severus groaned.

"Good day, Severus," Albus said and turned back to the door.

Severs growled in reply and Albus left chuckling.

"Sit down, Harry," Severus said later that afternoon. Harry complied, though his movements were slow and deliberate.

"Is something wrong, sir?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Severus replied. " I want to know why you're in pain."

"I'm not in pain," Harry replied. Severus was impressed that Harry kept a straight face. He began tapping his foot and Harry started to squirm. "Well, maybe I am a _little_ sore," Harry said after a short uncomfortable silence.

"And why didn't you ask me for help?" Severus asked.

"It's not bad," Harry said. "I can take care of it myself."

"And what is _causing _this mysterious soreness?"

"The potion wore off during the last week," Harry replied. "It's not as bad as it was before, but I can still feel a little bit."

"I see," Severus replied. Surprisingly, Harry had managed to convince Severus that Albus was right; Harry needed to start Occlumency immediately.

"It's not a big deal," Harry insisted.

"Professor Dumbledore requests that I teach you Occlumency," Severus said after studying Harry for a moment.

"What's that?"

"Occlumency is the practice of shielding your mind from magical attacks. Legilimency is the exact opposite, attacking someone's mind to discover the thoughts hidden there. The Dark Lord is a very practiced Legilimencer. His proficiency in Legilimency is what allows him to know when someone is lying to him. Only someone who is equally proficient in Occlumency, such as myself, can lie to him without detection. Occlumency will also protect you from foreign thoughts or images the Dark Lord might decide to place in your head. If you become proficient in Occlumency, the potion will no longer be needed. You will be able to block out the visions without aid."

Harry swallowed. "What does learning… Occlumency involve?"

"It is difficult training. You have to clear your mind of all thoughts and emotion. After you've learned to do that, I will attempt to break into your mind with a spell and you must try to block me out."

"Okay then," Harry said, taking a deep breath. "When do we start?"

"Immediately," Severus replied. "Whenever you find yourself with nothing to do, I want you to sit quietly and practice clearing your mind. You must also clear your mind every night before you go to sleep."

"What will that do?"

"It will reduce the frequency and intensity of your visions. It will also reduce the likelihood of the Dark Lord putting false images in your mind should he discover your bond with him."

Harry nodded and looked down at his lap. "I can do that," he said after a moment.

Severus nodded. "Do you have any homework you need to finish?"

"No, sir," Harry replied. "I've already done it."

"Good," Severus said. "Now go on and start practicing. I'll call you for dinner."

Harry stood up and slowly and moved into his rooms.

**FOUR**

"Harry, are you listening to me?" Hermione asked as Harry simply looked at her calmly.

"Of course I'm listening, Hermione," Harry said. "I don't see what you expect me to say."

"Something along the lines of 'yes' or 'no' would suffice," Hermione said irritably.

"I'm not a qualified teacher Hermione," Harry said. "What could I offer to anyone?"

"More than that Umbridge hag!" Hermione exclaimed. "If we keep with her curriculum, not only will we fail our O.W.L.s, but we'll also be killed if we come into contact with any Death Eaters. You can help us! You can save our lives by teaching us to defend ourselves!"

Ron nodded agreeably. "She's right, mate."

Harry regarded them calmly, thinking over their proposition. He knew he should feel self-conscious or annoyed, but he had reached the next stage of his Occlumency lessons: practiced calm in stressful situations. "When you say 'we', whom exactly are you talking about?"

"Ron and me, of course," Hermione said. " And I don't think we should exclude anyone, should they like to learn."

Harry nodded. "I need to think about it."

"You do that," Ron said. "Christmas break starts tomorrow. You can tell us when we get back."

"That sounds good," Harry said, standing from the table. "I've got some work to finish before we leave tomorrow." He left them looking after him in surprise. He reached his room and began working on a lengthy Transfiguration essay, the last bit of homework before the Christmas break.

"I still don't agree with your plans," Professor Snape said from the entranceway.

"I haven't seen Sirius in ages, and I'm sure he's been worrying himself silly," Harry replied not looking up from his homework.

"You're insufferable," Professor Snape said. "What if something happens to you while you're there? Black would not know what to do."

"Ron and Hermione will know to call you if something happens," Harry told him, still not looking up.

"I don't know if-"

"Professor Snape," Harry interrupted, finally turning to look at the sour Potions Master. "You know more about me than anyone else I know."

"So?"

"So you should know that I never intentionally put myself in harm's way for nor reason at all. Sirius loves me and will put his pride aside if it means you can save me. Don't worry so much."

Professor Snape sighed. "Very well, but just because you're on holiday doesn't mean you can neglect your Occlumency."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Harry replied, turning his attention back to his essay.

**FIVE**

Hermione scratched out another paragraph as she found new information in the Transfiguration tome on the table in front of her. The subject of human to animal transformation fascinated her in a way no other magic did. Although the essay she was working on didn't require more than a passing comment on human to animal transformations, Hermione had decided to dedicate a good portion of it to the subject.

"You're a little off topic," a voice drawled behind her, startling her out of her concentration. She turned and found Malfoy smirking at her.

"What do you care?" she asked coldly, turning back to her work.

"Just curious about why your essays are always so long," Malfoy replied. "Now I know, it's because you go off topic."

"Why don't you go and pester someone else?" Hermione asked.

"I think that is uncalled for, Granger," Malfoy said, pulling out a chair, turning it backward, and straddling it, facing Hermione. "I'm just trying to make civilized conversation."

Hermione eyed him distastefully. "You're vulgar," she said. "And you've never given me a reason to _want_ to have a civilized conversation with you."

"Oh, that's just cruel," Malfoy said, not sounding hurt at all. "You're friends with Weasley and he's more vulgar than I am. Don't you believe in second chances?"

"Not after four years of Hell, Malfoy!" Hermione hissed through clenched teeth. She began packing away her things. "You think I don't know what you're up to? You just stay away from all of us! Especially Harry!" She checked out her book and stormed out of the library. As she walked down the hall, she nearly ploughed Ron over, dropping her books in the process.

"Oh, sorry, Ron," she said, crouching to retrieve the books.

"No problem," Ron said, helping her. "What's the hurry?"

"It's just Malfoy," Hermione replied. "He was in the library. God, he's such a prat."

Ron smirked and took some of Hermione's books. "That he is," he said with a slight chuckle.

"It's not funny, Ron," Hermione said, feeling irritated. "He's up to something."

"Maybe you're being paranoid," Ron suggested.

"I am not being paranoid!" Hermione snapped. Her mind was back on the night she had found Malfoy in the hospital wing. He'd looked calculating and suspicious on that occasion, watching Harry with a keen eye and listening to her conversation. "He's curious about Harry," she said slowly. "He might be spying for his father or something."

"What makes you think he's curious about Harry?" Ron asked becoming interested.

"I went to visit Harry one night when you were doing homework, and Malfoy was there," Hermione said. "He wouldn't leave and he woke Harry up. I wanted to hex him but that would have made too much noise. He keeps coming around and trying to talk to me."

"Billywigs," Ron told the Fat Lady, for they had arrived at Gryffindor Tower.

"Last week he gave me tips on the Herbology work (as though I needed his help) and then he offered to help me write the essay!"

"Maybe he's more curious about you," Ron suggested.

"That's disgusting Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "That Death Eater would never be curious about me, and if he was I'd slap him."

"But you've already done that once," Ron said. "You should use a variety of assaults to hurt him."

"Oh, be serious, Ron!" Hermione snapped. She took out her essay and continued where she left off.

"What?" Ron asked.

"I'm voicing serious concerns here and you're spouting about how I should hit Malfoy," Hermione replied in an irritated tone. "What if Malfoy really wants to hurt Harry?"

"He won't do anything at Hogwarts," Ron said. "And he won't be able to find us with Snuffles. There's nothing to worry about."

"Yet," Hermione mumbled.

"Oh, come _on_, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed. "Harry's going to spend his first Christmas with Snuffles and I don't want you to ruin it with your suspicions about Malfoy!"

"But he needs to know!" Hermione argued.

"Tell him after we get back, then," Ron said, crossing his arms.

"Ron-" Hermione started.

"No, Hermione," Ron interrupted. "If you tell him and ruin his Christmas I won't speak to you for the rest of the year."

Hermione stared at Ron in disbelief, wondering when he'd gotten so good at arguing. "All right, Ron," she conceded. "But I'm telling him as soon as we're back at Hogwarts."

**SIX**

Sirius gave the three Gryffindors a very warm welcome at his home. Number 12 Grimauld Place doubled as Sirius' ancestral home and the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. Sirius had volunteered the house to Dumbledore as long as Harry could stay with him for the Christmas and Easter holidays. Dumbledore agreed with Sirius' conditions albeit a little reluctantly.

"It's great to see you again, Harry," Sirius said, embracing Harry tightly, causing the boy to grimace in pain, though Sirius didn't see it.

"You too, Sirius," Harry replied. He'd been very excited to see Sirius again and now found himself smiling broadly. Sirius showed him around the house, which seemed to be a stronghold for dark wizards, but Sirius explained his family so Harry wasn't worried.

"Molly is making dinner now," Sirius said. "I love her cooking."

Sirius was in a wonderful mood as Christmas approached, decorating the house and singing Christmas songs. He kept a close eye on Harry and spent a lot of time with him. Harry was very happy.

"Happy Christmas, Harry!" Ron cried, startling Harry from a peaceful slumber.

"Go away," Harry grumbled, turning over in his sleep. Grinning mischievously, Ron yanked the blankets off the bed. Harry sat up and glared at Ron, which was quite a feat because he still looked sleepy. "Prat."

"I know," Ron said, grinning broadly. "Now, come on! Open these presents!"

Harry smiled a little and picked up a large heavy gift that felt like a book. It was from Hermione. It turned out to be a book on advanced defensive magic.

"She really wants me to teach that class," Harry commented dryly.

"Yeah," Ron agreed. "So, are you?"

Harry shrugged noncommittally and moved to the next present. "I'm still thinking about it," he said. When he reached the last present he gave Ron a questioning look, for the gift was a flat unmarked envelope.

"Open it," Ron said, eating a chocolate frog from the box Fred and George had given him. "Maybe it's a love letter."

"Shut up, Ron," Harry said distractedly. He opened the letter and frowned at it.

'_Dear Potter,_

'_How is life treating you? Considering it's you, I'm willing to guess the answer is "abysmally". My life is quite satisfactory, thank you. I'm writing to you to give you your Yuletide gift. I call it "Yuletide" because "Christmas" is just so… Christian, don't you agree? But, alas, I digress. You must be wondering what caused me to sit down and write to you, of all people, so I'll attempt to make my point quickly. I am tired of fighting with you at every available opportunity and wish to call a truce._

'_I know what you're thinking… "What the hell has gotten into you, you sodding prick?" or something similar so I shall attempt to explain myself so that you might understand me somewhat, though I don't expect full comprehension from you. My explanation could turn out to be long-winded and rather tedious for someone of your limited intellect, so I'll give you the simplest explanation: our childish squabbling no longer amuses me and I've no wish to continue with our petty rivalry. While you may not see the need to change our…arrangement, I believe it is entirely beneath me to continue with a fight started over a simple handshake. How utterly idiotic could we get? Now, to business…_

'_I was walking along one day, passing the library as it were, when what should I hear but my favorite Gryffindor trio talking in hushed tones in the corner nearest the door? Well, my natural Slytherin curiosity was piqued so I thought I might listen in. Being the cunning spy that I am, I decided to hide out in the open, that is, in the shadows pretending to read a book, and listen in.'_

"He's been spying on us," Harry said.

"Who has?" Ron asked.

"Malfoy," Harry replied.

"What?" Ron asked. "How did he…"

Harry held up a hand and continued reading.

'_It seems that my absolute _favorite_ Gryffindor hero, namely you, has been commissioned by his friends to teach them and _"anyone who wishes to learn"_ if I remember correctly, Defense Against the Dark Arts. Now, I'm certain that you can imagine my surprise. I've come to the conclusion that learning to fight Dark Magic would be easier to accomplish if you had a working _knowledge_ of Dark Magic. I won't say anything more here, but I _would_ like to schedule a meeting with you and the rest of the Dynamic Trio after we return to school. Consider the truce your Yuletide gift. I'm looking forward to meeting you in the flesh back on Hogwarts' grounds after our well deserved, however religious, holiday. Here's to the future, Potter._

'_Sincerely Yours,_

'_Draco Malfoy'_

Harry frowned and read the letter over again. "I don't get it," he said.

"What does he say?" Ron asked.

"He asks for a truce and offers his services to help teach our Defense group."

Ron stared for a moment before regaining his composure. "Er… do you believe him?"

"The letter is rude, insulting, and decidedly sarcastic," Harry said, "but I'm compelled to believe him. It was a risk, sending me a letter here. Why else would he, if he didn't mean it?"

"Maybe it's a trap," Ron suggested.

"I don't think so," Harry said, still perusing the letter. "He wants to meet."

"I don't think you should meet him alone," Ron commented.

"You misunderstand me, Ron," Harry replied, putting the letter back into its envelope and placing it on the table next to his bed. He looked Ron in the eyes. "He wants to meet with us."

"Us?" Ron asked.

"You, Hermione, and me," Harry clarified. "I need to talk to Professor Snape." He stood up and moved to the door.

"What does Snape have to do with this?" Ron asked.

"_Professor_ Snape knows Malfoy better than any of us," Harry said. "He can help." He picked up the letter and left the room.

**SEVEN**

Severus was sitting in his chambers, enjoying a glass of absinthe, when his fire flared up and Harry stepped out of it.

"What are you doing here?" Severus asked, the drink dulling his irritation significantly. "Shouldn't you be with your mutt?"

Harry eyed Severus's glass distastefully. "You're drunk," he said.

"I am mildly buzzed," Severus corrected. "But still coherent enough to attend to whatever was so important to bring you here in the middle of your holiday."

Harry held out a white parchment envelope.

"Why, Harry," Severus said dryly. "I didn't know you cared."

"Just read the bloody thing, Professor Snape," Harry said, shaking the envelope irritably.

"Language, Potter," Severus said, taking the letter. "But as you're on holiday, I won't take points."

"How very generous of you," Harry said. "I'll have to remember you in my will."

Severus smirked, opening the envelope. "You've been living with me for too long."

Harry smirked in return, but didn't reply.

Severus' eyes narrowed as he read the letter. The writing was definitely Draco's, his elegant scrawl being very difficult to copy. The insulting and sarcastic tone was most decidedly Draco. Something was bothering Severus about the letter, though he couldn't place his finger on it.

"You know something," Harry said. "I can tell."

Severus gave Harry a calculating look.

"Spill it," Harry said, sitting in the armchair.

"Draco has already spoken to Professor Dumbledore about his… allegiances in this war," Severus said carefully. "I'm not certain as to the probity of his claims, but he _seems_ sincere. I would be… careful at this meeting with him."

"So you think I should go?" Harry asked.

"Yes, but I will accompany in stealth," Severus replied. "Now, I want to know about this _class_ he mentioned."

Harry flushed slightly, but otherwise remained stoic. "Hermione thinks it would be a good idea if I helped some people with Defensive Magic," he replied. "She says they'll fail their O.W.L.s if I don't."

"They will," Severus commented. "Umbridge is useless. Speaking of, you should be careful flooing into Hogwarts. Umbridge might be monitoring the network."

Harry snorted in disdain. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Make sure that you do," Severus replied, sitting back and sipping his absinthe. "Was there anything else you wanted?"

Harry passed a gift to Severus. "Happy Christmas."

Severus stared wordlessly at the package, wrapped meticulously in Slytherin colors. "I… why?" he asked after a moment.

Harry shrugged. "You took care of me," he said carelessly. "You were nice to me. If you don't want it, I'll return it." He reached out for the gift.

"No," Severus said. "It's not that. I was… surprised. I… I didn't get you anything."

"I wasn't expecting anything," Harry replied apathetically. "Think of it as a 'thank you'."

Severus removed the silver bow and tore open the green paper to reveal a thick, black, leather-bound journal with the words 'My Potions' inscribed in the cover in golden letters. It was beautiful. Severus told Harry he thought so.

"I'm glad you like it," Harry said. "I need to get back. I'll see you at the start of term."

"Yes," Severus said, attempting indifference. "Enjoy the rest of your holiday."

"You too," Harry said, throwing floo powder into the fireplace. "Don't drink too much of that." He indicated the bottle of absinthe. "It'll addle your brain." He stepped into the flames, yelled the address and disappeared from view.

Severus looked back at the journal and ran his fingers over the engraving. He'd never seen a journal like it and suspected that Harry had it personalized. It meant more to him than he liked to admit.

* * *

**Author's Note: Have I mentioned that you guys ROCK? If not… YOU GUYS ROCK! Okay, I'm better now. Thanks to Victoria Ennis for her work on this chapter. Thanks also to…**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**Starangel2106**

**Sword and Magic**

**Medicated Drama Queen: It's fine if you want to print them out. I don't mind at all. Ktoddhim has the story on her computer, so I won't make you type them all out and send them to me, or scan them, if you have a scanner. Too much trouble, really. Thanks for offering though.**

**Tamyka**

**Ktoddhim: Hehehehe, I do that too. My addy is Menecarkawan at (use the symbol, I didn't type it because ff . net deletes it) aol . com Thank you so much for sending it to me, by the way. It would have been lost forever… hehehehehehe**

**Mariana**

**CogniDi**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Euphoricallyevil: It will be quite some time before Harry and Severus actually do get together. I wanted Harry to be at least sixteen before that happy moment. I didn't want it to be too CHAN, after all.**

**Jujube15**

**Sh'arra Rie: I shall try again.**

**Sliver of Melody: LOL**

**LeeLeePotter**

**Kateri1**


	13. An Issue of Trust

**Chapter Thirteen**

**An Issue of Trust**

**ONE **

"Sirius, don't be like that," Harry pleaded with his godfather. "Professor Snape isn't a bad person. He's taken good care of me."

"Yes, and you're well now," Sirius snapped. "You don't need to stay with him any longer."

"I still have visions sometimes, Sirius," Harry reasoned. "I'm not totally proficient at Occlumency yet and it's safer for me if I'm near help when something happens."

"His intentions toward you-" Sirius began.

"Are completely professional," Harry interrupted. "He has a boyfriend."

"A Vent, you mean! What's to keep him from turning _you_ into a slave as well?"

"Honor," Harry replied calmly. "He's not a bad man, despite what you think. He's helped me when he didn't have to. He saved my life, Sirius!"

"Fine, but I'm checking up on you. I'll be damned if I leave you in the mercy of that psychotic Death Eater."

"He's not psychotic, Sirius," Harry said tiredly. "I don't want to fight about this. Check up on me all you like. I have to go pack." Harry stood from his seat at the dining table and crept up the stairs to his and Ron's room. He packed his things away and sat on his bed, thinking about Sirius. He wondered why Sirius hated Professor Snape so much, but he could not think of a decent reason for any of it. They were returning to Hogwarts by Portkey in a half hour and Harry wanted to be in a relaxed mood when he arrived.

Sirius gave Harry a tight hug and said they would see each other soon. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Ginny grabbed the rusty tin that served as the Portkey and were soon standing in Dumbledore's office.

"I trust you all had an enjoyable holiday," Dumbledore said when they arrived.

"Yes, sir," Harry replied. "But why did we have to return early?"

"It's more convenient this way. All those crowds at the station are oppressive, don't you agree?"

Harry had a feeling that Dumbledore was not being entirely truthful, but knew better than to ask.

"Why don't you all head back to your dormitories now?" Dumbledore asked. The small group of Gryffindors departed without comment.

"We'll see you guys back at the common room," Fred said with a grin.

"Yeah, we have things to do," George added and the twins set off down the hall.

Hermione shook her head but didn't say anything.

"What do you think is the _real_ reason for bringing us back early?" Ron asked when they reached the hallway.

"Probably safety reasons," Hermione said. "The Death Eaters are probably looking for you, Harry."

"It wouldn't surprise me," Harry replied. "Voldemort really has a stick up his ass about killing me."

"Mr. Potter," said a sickly sweet voice behind them.

Harry cringed and then turned around. "Hello, Professor Umbridge," he replied with forced cheer.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for foul language, and another week's detention for telling vicious lies. Now, why don't you go on to your common room?" She smiled as she moved passed them and Harry thought he might be sick.

"Ooo, I hate that woman," Hermione whispered.

"Leave it, Hermione," Harry replied. "It's what she wants." They reached the main stairs. "I'll see you guys at lunch." Harry moved down the stairs to the dungeons silently, hoping he wouldn't see Umbridge again. As he opened the door to Professor Snape's quarters, he got a surprise that wasn't as disturbing as he thought it should be.

Snape's muscles were rippling under smooth skin made imperfect by white scars crisscrossing his back as his arms moved over his head. He was in the process of pulling a black tee shirt off over his head. The muscles were flexing as Snape moved and the skin was sliding effortlessly over the well-toned shoulders. Harry caught himself staring and cleared his throat.

Professor Snape turned around, offering Harry a good view of a well-toned abdomen and strong pectorals. "You're back early, Harry."

"Erm, didn't Professor Dumbledore tell you that I would be back today?" Harry asked, pretending he hadn't just been ogling his Potions Master.

"Albus… excuse me, Professor Dumbledore has a tendency to keep me in the dark when it comes to you. I'm going to change." Picking up his robe, he moved into his bedroom and closed the door.

Harry sat on the couch and noticed the journal he had given Professor Snape on the coffee table. As Harry stared at it, he thought about what he'd just seen and felt disturbed. He found Professor Snape attractive, and what was more, he found the scars endearing. Those scars spoke volumes for Snape's bravery and self-sacrifices. He wasn't handsome by any means, but Harry found the sex appeal to be undeniable.

The door to the bedroom opened and Snape emerged wearing his usual fitted under-robes. "That's much better," he said, sitting next to Harry and picking up the journal. He opened it and flipped passed a few pages.

"Why were you in Muggle clothes, sir?"

"I had to go into London today," Snape replied, picking up his quill. "I hate that constricting Muggle garb, which is why I hate going to London."

"Why were you in London?"

"Oh, I just needed to buy a few things. So, how was the rest of your holiday?"

Harry ignored the change of subject and answered as though he didn't notice. "It was all right," he said, shrugging. "Sirius doesn't like the idea of me staying with you."

Snape snorted disdainfully. "That mutt doesn't like anything to do with me."

"Don't call him that. Old habits die hard, you know. It'll take time for him to trust you."

"Like that will happen! I can see it now, he'll fire-call me and we'll be best-friends."

"No need to be nasty. All I mean is that people grow up. You'll never be friends, but you could try to be cordial to each other as colleagues. I know you don't like him, but things would run smoother if you could be in the same room without getting into a brawl."

"Are you practicing on your lecture for your defense class?" Snape asked with a raised brow.

Harry blushed a bit. "Whatever. Do what you want then." They lapsed into silence, the only sounds in the room were the crackling of the fire and the occasional scratching of Snape's quill.

"I want you to avoid Umbridge outside of classes," Snape said after a few minutes of silence. "She's been looking for reasons to punish you since Christmas."

"_Now_ he tells me," Harry muttered.

"Meaning?" Snape asked, looking up from his journal.

"She gave me a detention on my way down here from Professor Dumbledore's office. I'm _so_ giddy, another week of her absolutely _delightful_ company."

"And what was her excuse?"

"She overheard Hermione and me talking about Vol… er… You-Know-Who."

"Perhaps you should be more careful about _where_ such conversations take place."

"How was I supposed to know she was lurking in the shadows?"

"You should _always _anticipate being overheard. Learn to guard your information more closely."

Harry sighed and nodded. "I guess you're right. I'll try to remember."

"No. There is no 'try'. There is only 'do' or 'do not'. Do not try, because then you have already failed. Guard your words as though they meant your very life, for they might one day."

"Yes, sir," Harry said, feeling chastised. "I'll remember."

"Be sure that you do." Snape turned his attention to his journal again as Harry rose and moved into his own common room.

**TWO **

The next day, the rest of the student body returned from their holiday. Malfoy went straight to where Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting for dinner.

"Meet me tonight," he said. "At midnight in the east tower. No one uses that one."

"We'll be there, Malfoy," Hermione replied. "You'd better not be wasting our time."

"I'll make it worth your while, Granger. Just make sure you show." With that, he walked to the Slytherin table.

"He'd better not be trying to trick us," Ron said, looking toward the Slytherins distastefully. "That stupid sod gets on my nerves."

"Ronald Weasley! Watch your mouth!"

"What?" Ron asked. "He _is _a sod, Hermione. You can't deny it."

"That's not the point, Ron. Just because you-"

"Would you both please stop? I'm not in the mood to listen to this right now."

Hermione and Ron glared at Harry silently.

"Oh, don't look so affronted. All you guys ever do is bicker. Frankly, I'm tired of listening to it. The two of you should just snog, realize you're not good together and get it over with. As for me, I'm going to bed. Good night." He got up from the table and left Ron and Hermione staring after him.

About five minutes after Harry had arrived at Professor Snape's quarters, said Potions Master arrived looking amused.

"What's funny?" Harry asked, looking up from the Defense book he was reading.

"Your friends were bickering in the halls. Mr. Weasley seemed to think that Miss Granger wanted to kiss him. It was very entertaining."

"Oops, my bad."

"Ah, so _you_ made that suggestion."

"I was tired of their fighting. If they would just get it over with they'd get along better."

Snape poured himself a brandy and sat in front of the fire. "Is the sexual tension between them unbearable then?"

"Here's the trouble. Ron _thinks_ he likes Hermione because she's the only girl besides his little sister with whom he has ever felt comfortable. Hermione _knows_ Ron likes her, but she pretends not to notice because she _doesn't _like him. Every time they're together they fight, and I'm tired of listening to it. If they'd just kiss and get it over with, Ron would realize that Hermione is like a sister and the fighting would stop. At least, that's my theory. I told them as much. I guess it didn't go over too well."

Professor Snape chuckled and took a sip of his drink. "Ah, the drama of adolescence."

"Speaking of drama, Malfoy wants to meet with us tonight at midnight."

"Where?"

"The east tower. He says he'll make it 'worth our while,' whatever that means."

"If you would be so kind and lend me your invisibility cloak, I will accompany you to this meeting."

"That sounds acceptable."

"Just don't expect me to be so lenient about these late night wanderings in the future."

Harry chuckled. "Of course not, sir." With that, Harry went back to reading his book and Professor Snape got lost in his own thoughts.

**THREE **

Severus and Harry arrived at the tower ten minutes early. Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger were already there along with Miss Brown, both Patil twins, Miss Chang, Miss Edgecombe, Miss Lovegood, Miss Bell, Miss Spinnet, Miss Johnson, both Creevey brothers, Mr. Macmillan, Mr. Finch-Fletchley, Miss Abbot, Miss Bones, Mr. Goldstein, Mr. Corner, Mr. Boot, Miss Weasley, Mr. Jordan, both Weasley twins, and Mr. Smith. It seemed that word about the class had spread.

"Er, Hermione," Harry said, casting his eyes around the room. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

"What's up, Harry?" she asked with a smile.

"Why are there so many people here?" Harry asked, sounding slightly panicked. Severus repressed a snort of amusement.

"There's safety in numbers, Harry," Miss Granger replied, still smiling. "These are all people who would like to learn and who we thought we could trust. That, and Malfoy wouldn't try anything in a room full of armed witches and wizards."

'_Good girl,' _Severus thought. _'At least _one_ of Harry's friends has a brain.'_

"I haven't even officially agreed to teach this class yet!" Harry whispered.

'_Occlumency, Harry,' _Severus thought at Harry as though Harry could hear him. _'Use your Occlumency.'_

As if he had heard Severus, Harry took a deep breath and calmed himself. "Okay, let's just wait for Malfoy to get here," he said, gently pushing Miss Granger back to the crowd of students. As they waited, they discussed what they should call their little group and decided on Dumbledore's Defense League.

'_I could have assigned two dozen detentions tonight,' _Severus thought, looking around the tower room. _'Ah, if only I hadn't promised to help Harry with this.'_

After a few minutes, the door opened and Draco entered. He raised an eyebrow when he saw the gathering, but that was his only visible reaction.

"Good evening, Malfoy," Harry said cordially from his spot by the window. "It's so of good you to join us."

"I came here to talk to Gryffindor's Golden Trio," Draco drawled. "Not the whole bloody school."

"Ah, yes," Harry replied in a business-like tone. "As to that, these are the people with whom we shall be working. It saves time for everyone to hear the information at the same time."

"I didn't agree to this," Draco said. To Severus, Draco sounded a bit miffed, but Severus doubted anyone else noticed.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, neither did I," Harry shrugged. "But since they're all here, we may as well make the best of things, don't you agree? Now, why don't you tell us why you invited us to this little party?"

Draco cheeks tinged a little pink, but he answered nonetheless. "You wanted to teach… _these_ people, I assume, how to defend themselves against Dark Arts. I thought that your job would be easier if they all had an idea what they were up against. The trouble with Hogwarts' curriculum is that they expect you to learn how to defend against something you know nothing about. Now that problem has been compounded by an incompetent teacher, thus the necessity for this little _club. _Surely even you can appreciate the dire situation in which we all find ourselves?"

"You know, Malfoy," Miss Granger said amicably. "This would go a lot smoother if you kept the insults down to a minimum." She smiled brightly at Draco.

Draco sneered at her but said nothing.

"Tell us why we should trust you, Malfoy," Mr. Weasley said. "How do we know you won't just run to Snape or Umbridge after you leave this meeting?"

"I think that would be detrimental to my health," Draco replied coldly. "I've given my word that I won't tell. That should be enough."

"Your word doesn't mean spit to us, Malfoy," Miss Johnson said heatedly.

"It should. A Slytherin never goes back on his word."

"I think I trust that," Harry said before anyone could protest. "You realize, of course, that you and I will have to work _together_ in order for this little group to work. I hope you don't have a problem with that."

"I know that, Potter," Draco snapped.

"Well," Miss Granger said, producing a parchment, ink and a quill from her pocket. She wrote the name they had decided on at the top. "Now that that's taken care of, I think we should all sign here to make it official."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Mr. Smith asked scathingly. "What if a teacher finds it?" Again, Severus had to repress a snort.

"Do you really think I'd just leave this laying around?" Miss Granger asked with a dismissive wave. "Either you sign it, or you're out. No exceptions." Miss Granger signed it and passed it to Harry, who did the same and passed it on. Some students hesitated, but in the end, all of their names were added to the roster.

"Welcome everyone," Harry said with a smile. "To Dumbledore's Defense League. This brings the first meeting of the D.D.L. to a close. We'll all leave in two's and three's as soon as I've made sure that the coast is clear." He pulled a battered old parchment from his pocket and gazed at it. "All right, it's clear for the first pair." Slowly, the students filed out of the room until only the trio and Draco remained.

"Come on, Harry," Mr. Weasley said, looking at Draco with loathing.

"You and Hermione go ahead," Harry replied. "I'll walk with Malfoy."

Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger exchanged a worried look.

"It's okay, guys. I need to talk to him at any rate."

"All right, Harry," Miss Granger said. "Remember, Malfoy, we know you were the last one with him tonight."

Draco glared at her but said nothing. Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger left hesitantly and Harry held the door for Draco to leave first. Severus slipped out behind Draco and the three began the long trek to the dungeons.

"What do we have to talk about, Potter?" Draco asked after a moment.

"I'm curious to know what your motives are for this," Harry replied. Draco turned to look at him, but Harry pretended not to notice. "You just suddenly decided that you were on the wrong side of this war? I find that difficult to believe."

"You don't know what a person has to go through to become a Death Eater," Draco said softly. "I'm tired of my father's tyranny and the Dark Lord's sadistic banter. I'd like for the side where I'll be free to win this war. I do not fancy being the Dark Lord's slave for the rest of my life."

"Completely selfish reasons," Harry commented. "Which is more believable than if you had said you felt sorry for the innocent victims. I wouldn't expect any such thing from you."

"How sweet," Draco said dryly.

"I've spoken for you, Malfoy," Harry stopped right in front of the Slytherin entrance. "I've asked them to trust you. They do so because they trust me. If you go back on your word, you make me look bad. Don't think you could get away with it. I am not as kind and patient as everyone likes to believe."

"Are you threatening me, Potter?"

"Yes," Harry replied, causing Draco's eyes to become very round in the dark. "And don't think for a moment that I'm bluffing. It would be the last mistake you ever made."

"I don't believe this!" Draco exclaimed. "I've switched sides and all I get for my trouble is threats and dirty looks!"

"Don't sound so surprised. You should have seen this coming. I have no reason to trust you and you know it. I'll decide on a time and place for us to get together and discuss our teaching schedule. We have a lot to do and not much time in which to do it."

"You should be grateful I've decided to help you," Draco spat.

"I'm grateful for the extra help, but it's not like I couldn't have gotten it elsewhere. As it is, it's not an issue of gratitude. It is an issue of trust, or lack there of, and the truth is that I don't trust you. A person has to earn trust and respect. When you give me a _reason_ to trust you, then we'll talk again. Good night, Malfoy. I'll let you know when we should meet."

Draco stared at Harry silently for a moment before giving a curt nod. He whispered the password and disappeared into the Slytherin common room. Harry turned and walked farther down the hall as Severus removed the invisibility cloak.

"How did you know where the Slytherin commons are?" Severus asked curiously.

"That, my dear Professor Snape, is a story for another night," Harry replied with a smile.

**FOUR**

Hermione was sitting in the library, studying Arithmancy, and chewing the end of her quill when Malfoy sat across from her and started staring at her.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" she asked after a moment.

"I need a favor," Malfoy replied.

Hermione put down her quill, folded her hands on top of her book and fixed Malfoy with a piercing stare. "I'm listening."

"I know plenty about the Dark Arts, but I'm not much of a teacher. I was wondering if you'd help me put together my lesson plan."

"You should have thought of that before you offered to teach. What would you have me do?"

Malfoy produced a parchment from his pocket and passed it across the table to Hermione. Hermione began to read.

_The Dark Arts_

_As seen by Draco Malfoy_

"You have nice hand writing," Hermione commented absently.

'_Magic originated in ancient civilizations where the wizards did their magicks without the aid of a wand. The first people to use wands were the Druids in the British Isles. With the invention of the wand, the capabilities of wizards were increased ten-fold.'_

"This reads like a textbook. We already know this from Binns' classes. Your purpose is to explain what makes Dark Arts dark. We don't need a history lesson from you."

"So what do you suggest?" Malfoy asked, sounding irritated.

"Something more along the lines of 'the classification that designates certain magics as "dark" is usually the intent of the caster,' or something similar. We know that Avada Kedavra is dark. What _your_ going to do is explain what's behind it that makes it so. You remember in fourth year when the fake Moody showed us the Unforgivables? He said we could all aim at him and say the words, and he wouldn't get so much as a nose bleed. Your job is to tell us _why_ that is."

Malfoy tapped his finger on his chin as he thought this over. "You think I should re-write it?"

"Truthfully?"

"Yes."

Hermione balled up the parchment and flicked it across the table, hitting Malfoy in the chest. "I think you should just wing it."

Malfoy raised his eyebrows. "Wing it? You don't think I should have a prepared lecture?"

"Not if you want to keep everyone's attention. No, you should go in with a basic idea of what you and Harry are going to do and work from there. Lectures are _boring_. If you wing it, you won't be lacking in spontaneity."

"Wing it?"

"Wing it."

"All righty then. Wing it." Malfoy stood up and walked away with a mumbled 'thanks'. Hermione watched him leave, wondering, not for the first time, what planet he was visiting from. As she was still looking toward the door through which Malfoy had disappeared, Ron sat down at her table.

"Hey, Hermione," he said.

"Hey," Hermione replied, turning to look at him. "What's the matter?"

"Do you remember the other day at dinner? What Harry said?"

"I remember."

"Do you reckon Harry was right?"

"Right about what?"

"About us not being good together?"

"Oh, that. Frankly, Ron, I think he was. We make better friends than anything else."

Ron seemed to look relieved. "Phew. I was thinking the same thing. I was afraid you'd be mad at me."

Hermione smiled brightly. "No, I'm not mad. Thanks for asking me, Ron, instead of just assuming."

"No problem," Ron replied. A silence descended upon them; soon Hermione was studying again and Ron excused himself to practice some Quidditch. He'd been using Harry's Firebolt since Harry wasn't on the team this year.

Hermione absorbed herself into her Arithmancy work and put all of her other concerns out of her head. She didn't notice the boy watching her from the shadows with a slight scowl on his pointed face. She didn't notice him step into the light, sneering as she left the library to go to bed.

"You're not supposed to be worthy," he said angrily. "You're a Mudblood, goddamn it! You're supposed to be inferior! I'll show you. You won't win out over me again." With that, he turned and walked back down to the dungeons.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this chapter. Thanks also to…**

**Volume**

**Sliver of Melody**

**LeeLeePotter: I figured I'd keep Harry a bit self-sacrificing. He just doesn't want Snape to worry.**

**Sh'arra Rie: You're most welcome, m'dear**

**GD**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: We'll see about Jason, love. Can't give away my plot, now can I?**

**Ktoddhim: I'll just send you another email. Do try not to delete it this time, hm? Hehehehehehehe**

**JD**

**Rosiegirl**

**CogniDi: Harry is doing his best with his Occlumency, but don't worry overmuch. He's still got his emotions in there, as we shall see later on.**

**Sword and Magic**

**Tamyka**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Kears**

**Mariana**


	14. Get Out of My Head

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Get Out of My Head**

**ONE**

Draco found that working on the defense club with Potter wasn't half bad. He even found the experience slightly enjoyable. Potter had an uncanny ability to recognize a spell even before it was cast, just based on the emotion of the caster. Potter had a very rare gift, though Draco wasn't certain that he knew it.

"No, Malfoy." The two boys were setting up their next meeting, but Potter didn't seem to agree with Draco's lesson plan.

"Come on, Potter! They have to know what to expect. Stop babying them!"

"I'm not _babying_ anybody, Malfoy. This lesson plan is absolutely unacceptable. We learned enough about these curses from Moody."

"Potter, listen to me…"

"No. The Unforgivables are illegal for a reason. You can't block them and you can't counter them. About all you can do is get out of the way, and I already know how to do that, as I'm sure our classmates do as well."

"Fine. Have it your way." Draco leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms moodily.

"Is there nothing else you can think of that might be useful?" Potter asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Like what, Potter? You just shot down my whole plan for tomorrow night. Do you just expect me to pull something new out of my bum?"

Potter raised his other brow and stood up, packing his things as he did so. "Honestly, Malfoy. I expected you to be more creative than this." He slung his bag over his shoulder and leaned over the table. "You know, the Unforgivables must have started _somewhere. _I wonder what they were based on." He shrugged and walked away, leaving behind a gob smacked Draco.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Draco wondered aloud and went to the library to research his new idea. He pulled down several large tomes and piled them high on a table. He had parchment, several bottles of ink, a quill and a knife to sharpen the quill if need be. Opening one of the books, he began taking notes. He worked late into the night, finishing in his room after being kicked out of the library.

When Draco arrived in the Room of Requirement, a room Potter had found, Potter was already there as usual.

"You're early," Potter said as he adjusted the pillows on the floor.

"So are you."

"Ah, but I'm always early, and thus you are not surprised," Potter said. "You, on the other hand, always show up late, therefore it's surprising to see you here early."

"Stop it, Potter," Draco said, moving farther into the room. "I'm starting to think that you're an imposter of some sort."

Potter snorted and sat on one of the large fluffy pillows. "So have you made up a new lesson plan, or do I have to do it all myself tonight?"

"Of course I have a plan, Potter," Draco spat irritably. "Would I _be_ here if I didn't?"

Potter shrugged. "Who knows what you would do? It was just a question."

"Do you want to discuss the lesson before the others arrive?"

"No, that's all right."

"So what are you planning then?"

"I'll just wing it based on whatever you do."

"Wing it?"

Potter nodded.

"Have you been asking the… Granger for advice?"

Potter chuckled but didn't reply.

Draco shook his head and began preparing himself to perform Dark Magic. As the other students arrived they gave Potter a warm welcome, though they were cordial to Draco as well. Granger and Weasley were the last to arrive, and once they'd settled, Draco began his lesson.

"Today, I thought we'd cover the history of the Unforgivables. I am going to start with the most deadly to the least." Granger raised her hand. "What?" Draco said, irritated with being interrupted.

"Are these spells illegal?" Granger asked.

"Who cares?" Draco asked.

"Well, I for one, have had enough of learning illegal curses from Barty Crouch Jr.," Granger said. There was a murmur of general agreement around the room.

Draco sighed. "No, they are not technically illegal, though they are frowned upon."

Granger gave a wave to indicate he should continue.

"The first spell is called _Exitialis_," Draco began. "It is the predecessor to _Avada Kedavra_, though it isn't as effective or painless. It can be blocked and when it _does_ hit, it doesn't always kill." Draco removed a rat from a pouch he had brought with him. He placed the rodent on the floor and pointed his wand at it. "_Exitialis!_" he exclaimed. A jet of orange light erupted from his wand and struck the rat.

The rat squealed in pain as it began to scorch as though it had been set on fire. It took nearly a minute for the poor creature to die. Afterwards, the room was filled with a thick silence.

"As you could see," Draco said. "That was _very_ unpleasant."

"That was horrible!" Angelina Johnson exclaimed angrily. The room erupted in angry yells. Draco held up his hands and soon the room quieted once again.

"I realize that was inhumane," he said, "but you all must understand me. The Dark Lord isn't against using older spells to agonize his victims. If he wanted you to suffer before you died, he wouldn't use _Avada Kedavra_ to do it. It _is_ called the Killing Curse, but it _is not_ the only spell capable of producing that result. It is simply the most effective. _Exitialis_ kills most of the people it hits, but it _doesn't _snuff out life the way _Avada Kedavra_ does. It _takes_ life, and the process is _extremely _painful, as you have seen. If the Dark Lord wanted to give you a painful death, this is most likely what he'd use."

There was a short silence before Granger's hand went up.

Draco sighed. "What is it, Granger?" he asked, feeling suddenly tired.

"You… you said it could be blocked?" Granger stammered.

"Yes," Draco replied. Everyone looked pale, but interested. "This blocking spell will block most curses, but it's more difficult to cast than _Protego_. This new spell is _Obsidere_. It takes a lot of concentration to cast, and should only be used in the most dire of circumstances."

Potter stood up and began pairing people off. "Draco will show us how to cast the spell and we'll practice. I only want you to use minor hexes such as Jelly Legs. We don't want anyone to get hurt."

Draco wondered briefly how Potter did that, but decided not to dwell on it. He paired off with Granger, and Potter paired with Weasley.

"Now, to cast _Obsidere_ you have to concentrate on the strongest kind of wall you can imagine, such as steel. The trick is to gain that picture and will in the second you will have to cast it. You must move your wand in a quick half moon motion while uttering the spell. _Obsidere!_" Draco made the motion and a great, transparent, blue force field appeared in front of him. "The only trouble with this spell, as with _all_ shielding charms, is that as long as you hold it up, you cannot cast anything else. The moment you move your wand, the barrier will disappear. Potter, throw _Impedimenta_ at the barrier."

Potter stepped up and did what was asked of him. The spell hit the barrier and was absorbed into it. The barrier rippled like a pond before settling back to its original state.

"A good point of _Obsidere_ is that it absorbs curses instead of deflecting them, thus it's safer to use when surrounded by innocent people." With that, the group set off with practicing the blockade. By nine o'clock, only Potter and Granger could do the spell perfectly and quickly, though the others were progressing nicely.

Potter remained sitting quietly on the cushions as the other students filed out. When they were all gone, he spoke.

"That was a useful lesson," he said cordially. "I suppose next time we'll be hearing about _Crucio_'s predecessor?"

"I think so," Draco replied. "Well done with playing along, Potter."

"Thank you for that assessment, Malfoy," Potter said with a smirk. "So, tell me when you're planning on asking Hermione out."

Draco turned and stared at Potter in disbelief. "You're mad, Potter. That girl is completely insufferable, insulting, and down right bossy. Why would I do such a thing?"

Potter smiled and stood up, moving toward the door. "Oh, my mistake." He smirked infuriatingly and left the room.

Draco stormed back to the Slytherin common room, enraged by Potter's presumptuousness. How _dare_ he suggest that Draco liked that know-it-all Mudblood? Draco had better taste than that! She might be pretty, and sure, she had a good mind, but other than that, what was there to her? She had bushy hair, and she _would_ have buckteeth if it weren't for Draco hexing her in fourth year. She snapped at Draco all of the time, and she beat Draco in every subject except for Potions. She was nothing really, just another student looking to Draco for help in an increasingly violent war. She really didn't matter at all…

**TWO**

Draco was staring at the back of Granger's head in Care of Magical Creatures. It was early February, but the weather already resembled March. The oaf, Hagrid, was showing them Thestrals and old Umbridge was close by, asking infuriating questions. Draco supposed he might once have found Hagrid's anxiety amusing, but things had changed a great deal.

Hagrid was explaining about what Thestrals eat and why they're useful when Umbridge began insulting him again with her loud and deliberate speech.

"I think they're fascinating," Draco said loudly, overriding Umbridge's unkind banter. "Tell me, Professor Hagrid, do they eat toads?" Draco saw several people turn away to hide giggles and Umbridge visibly bristled.

"Mr. Malfoy," she said, moving to where Draco was standing. "Why do you ask that?"

"I'm just curious," Draco replied innocently. "So, do they, Professor?"

"Er," Hagrid said, looking slightly surprised. "No, no they don't. They prefer larger animals, mostly mammals. They don't usually eat things they killed themselves. They like ter scavenge."

"Thank you, sir," Draco replied, looking at Umbridge with a raised brow. "He doesn't have any trouble understanding me. Perhaps it's your accent."

Umbridge looked angry now. "Your inspection is over, Hagrid," she said, her falsely sweet voice suddenly gone. "You'll have your results in a week." She walked away huffily and Draco turned back to the front. His heart missed a beat as he locked eyes with Granger. She looked impressed, surprised and grateful.

_She's proud of me, _Draco thought, slightly dazed. He forced his face to remain passive, though inside he was smiling. _There's hope yet. I wonder if she likes flying double. _Draco caught his thoughts and scowled as Hagrid dismissed the class.

"Draco, why were you protecting that great oaf?" Pansy asked as they walked back to the castle.

"Sod off, Pansy!" Draco snapped, walking faster. _I did _not_ just wonder if Granger likes flying double! Potter was not right, damn it!_ Draco was pulled from his thoughts by a light touch on his arm.

"Thank you," Granger said when he turned.

Draco blinked and fought back a strong blush that he felt coming on. "What for?" he asked, very surprised that his voice sounded normal.

"For helping Hagrid, of course," Granger replied. Behind her, Weasley nodded and Potter smirked gallingly. "That was wonderful."

"Oh," Draco said intelligently. "Well, you know. Umbridge had it coming, the old hag." Granger smiled brightly, causing Draco to feel inexplicably nervous.

"Yes, she did," Potter agreed, giving Draco a knowing wink.

"Er, I have to," Draco swallowed hard, "to go to class. Later." He walked quickly, furious with himself for acting so stupid over a filthy, worthless Mudblood. _What the bloody Hell is wrong with me! Pull yourself together Malfoy! She's a Mudblood! She's not supposed to be _worthy_ of your attentions! Get out of my head you filthy bitch!_

**THREE**

"Malfoy's been acting _very_ strange," Ron said as he, Hermione and Harry left the Room of Requirement. "He practically _ran_ from the room after our meeting."

"He's just in a hurry, Ron," Hermione said, rolling her eyes in frustration. Ron had been going on and on about Malfoy's trustworthiness for the last two weeks.

"You're both completely dense," Harry said.

"Why?" Hermione asked. "What do you think his hurry was?"

"He fancies someone in the class," Harry replied, causing Ron and Hermione to stop walking. "Someone he doesn't think he _should_ fancy."

"Do you know who it is?" Hermione asked, practically bouncing in anticipation of dirt on Malfoy.

"Yes," Harry said.

After a few moments, when it became clear that Harry wasn't going to say more, Ron asked, "Well, are you going to tell us who it is?"

"No," Harry replied. "Perhaps you could both benefit from being more observant. See you around." He waved cheerily and left Ron and Hermione goggling at him.

"What's gotten into him?" Ron asked, turning to Hermione.

She shrugged. "I bet _I_ can find out whom he fancies," she said.

"Oh, what?" Ron asked. "Are you just going to walk up and ask him?"

"Of course not, Ron," Hermione replied, starting to walk again. "He wouldn't answer in any case. No, I'll just do what Harry suggested. I'll observe him."

"You'll _observe _him?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Of course," Hermione said. "Let's go, before we're late." They walked back to Gryffindor Tower in contemplative silence. Hermione was thinking of possible candidates for Malfoy's affections, and Ron was wondering why Hermione even _cared_ who Malfoy fancied.

Three nights later found Ron and Hermione back in the Room of Requirement for another D.D.L. meeting. Harry had just called for everyone to pair off and Hermione was quick to act.

"I'll pair Malfoy," she said cheerily, standing next to the nervous Slytherin.

"Er, isn't there someone…" Malfoy said, looking around almost desperately.

"Everyone else is paired," Hermione said with an innocent smile. She guessed that Malfoy's nervousness was because he'd figured out what she was up to.

"Oh… very well," he said, glancing at the expectant faces. "To perform _Dominari_ properly, you have to…" he glanced at Hermione. "To apply all of your… er, concentration on the… on the, er… the er, the victim." He gestured toward Hermione. "Like so. _Dominari!_"

The blue light hit Hermione just under her breastbone. She stood silent for a moment and then felt strongly compelled to behave like a roosting hen. She clucked and began scratching the ground with her feet. When she came to her senses, the people around her were laughing.

"I want everyone to practice the spell on you partners until you can perform it perfectly," Malfoy said, glancing at Hermione guiltily. "And Potter, I must ask that you do not try to throw it. We'll never know if Weasley is doing it right if you keep throwing it off."

"Okay," Harry replied promptly.

"After everyone can cast _Dominari_, I want you to practice it using shields. You need to be able to cast your shields without warning. Okay, go."

Hermione wasted no time. "_Dominari!_" she exclaimed. The blue light caught Malfoy by surprise. _Tell me whom you love, _she thought at him furiously. _Tell me whom you love. Tell me whom you love._

Malfoy's eyes glazed and Hermione could tell he was trying to throw the curse. She concentrated harder. _Tell me whom you love._

"You," Malfoy said dreamily.

Hermione was so surprised that her fingers grew slack, dropping her wand on the ground. She stared at Malfoy, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

Malfoy blinked a few times before he regained his bearings. He looked up at Hermione, anger and betrayal shining in his eyes. "How _dare_ you?" he asked, his voice shaking so badly it was little more than a whisper. "How DARE you?" he bellowed, and stormed from the room. Everyone stopped their practice to look curiously at Hermione. Harry left Ron's side and moved to Hermione's.

"What did you do?" he asked so only she could hear.

"I didn't know," Hermione whispered, on the verge of tears. "I didn't know."

"Obviously," Harry said. "Everyone, keep practicing until the usual time. I'm going to find out what happened. Ron, I'm leaving you in charge." He gave Hermione a piercing look before leaving the room.

**FOUR**

Harry found Malfoy slumped against a wall on the ground level.

"Malfoy," he said in greeting, leaning against the wall next to the blonde.

"Leave me alone, Potter," he replied, not looking up. "I'm not in the mood for your idle banter."

"Hermione was only curious, Malfoy," Harry said, ignoring Malfoy's comments. "She didn't mean any harm."

"What does that matter? She didn't have the _right_ to do that, to ask me that. It was very Slytherin of her." Malfoy laughed sardonically at that. "I suppose she'll never come to another meeting now."

"She was very upset by this, Malfoy," Harry said.

"I'll bet," Malfoy replied. "The horrible, slimy Slytherin is in love with her. How… disgusting."

"That's not what I meant. She didn't mean to hurt you. She'll apologize if you give her the chance."

"Why should I?" Malfoy snapped angrily, straightening up to glare at Harry. "It should have been _my_ decision to tell her when _I_ was ready! How _dare_ she take that from me? She had no right and I'll never forgive her!" He stormed away, heading toward the dungeons.

Harry sighed in defeat and went to his own rooms quietly, wondering what would come of this. It wasn't difficult to guess what Hermione had done. She'd used the spell to find out whom Malfoy fancied. Harry had to admit that it was a good idea, though it was very unlike Hermione to do something so unethical. What had she been thinking?

* * *

**Author's Note: As usual, many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Ktoddhim**

**Jujube 15**

**Kears**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**Tamyka**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**Mariana**

**LeeLeePotter**

**Nicky12330**

**Shadow Eclipse: A lot of the chapters are going to have sections that skip over large periods of time. I do this so that we can get to the HP/SS action that much sooner… hehehehe**

**Jenni**

**Chibi-Kaisie: Thank you**

**Anarane Anwamane**

**Hesfb: This is the same story you remember reading. I hope you stick to it, but I'm not planning on removing the rape scenes. I enjoy torturing Harry too much for that. Sorry.**

**DestinyEntwinements: It's going to be a while before we see any HP/SS action, but I promise it's coming.**

**CogniDi: Have fun in Italy. There should be plenty for you to read when you get back. We'll see you then, love.**


	15. Cause and Effect

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Cause and Effect**

**ONE **

"Hermione, I'd really _love_ to know what you must have been thinking," Harry commented the next morning at breakfast.

"I just wanted to know," Hermione replied, looking extremely uncomfortable. "I didn't think it would hurt anything."

"It was completely unethical," Harry admonished. "I told you to _observe_ him, not break into his mind. What you did was the equivalent of using Veritaserum without the consent or knowledge of an innocent subject. What were you thinking? After all of my hard work, getting him to trust us, accept us, and now you've negated everything."

Hermione was looking thoroughly chastised and on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry, okay, it seemed like a good idea, and besides, I didn't know it was such a big deal. It was just a question."

"A question that could get you, him and his father killed," Harry commented.

A silence descended on the trio as the implications of Hermione's actions finally sank in. "You didn't think of _that_ did you?" Harry asked after several tense moments. "Look, all I ask is that you use more discretion in the future."

"I will," Hermione mumbled, looking down at the table.

Harry stood up and collected his things. "I have research to do and then a meeting with Professor Snape. I'll see you guys later."

"See you, mate," Ron said. Hermione simply waved sadly. Harry was certain she was very upset when the mention of research usually did excite her.

Harry walked to the library and used his unlimited pass to retrieve some medical books from the restricted section. He'd discovered (entirely by accident) that he had strong empathetic abilities. After researching empathy thoroughly, he'd found out that most strong empathetics also had a natural talent with medicinal and healing magic. After he had read that it had become his mission to learn any medical magic that the library carried.

Harry was growing frustrated because he could feel his magic stirring with the desire to help, but he couldn't focus it to make any real difference. He'd read and re-read books and articles after failed practices, but to no avail. He was ready to give up, but his stubborn nature made sure that he didn't. He got some very obscure books and took them back to his room, glad that it was Sunday. A book with a blue cover and no discernable title caught Harry's interest and he opened it...

**TWO **

Severus knocked again, but still received no answer. Growing concerned, he opened the door and looked inside. Harry was sitting cross-legged on the floor, a book open in his lap and blood slowly dripping onto his robes. His eyes were closed and he held his injured hand tightly, a look of intense concentration on his face. The knife he'd used to inflict the injury was on the table in front of him.

As Severus watched, a white glow appeared beneath Harry's hand and the boy's expression changed. He seemed to be observing something that Severus couldn't see, though his eyes were closed. "Heal," Harry said forcefully, and the glow under his hand turned blue. The blood stopped dripping and Harry looked down at his hand, a smile on his face.

"What are you doing?" Severus snapped, his amazement dissipated by his annoyance at Harry. "You should have supervision if you are learning medical magic! Do you know how dangerous it is to perform these spells on yourself?"

"It was only a superficial wound, Professor Snape," Harry pleaded. "I wouldn't cut myself too deep if I knew I couldn't fix it."

"That is not a suitable excuse, Mr. Potter," Severus replied, noting the grimace on Harry's face. "Fifteen points from Gryffindor."

Harry sighed and closed his book. "Yes, sir."

"And fifteen points _to_ Gryffindor for taking the initiative to do an independent study," Severus said after a moment.

"You should have given me twenty points for that," Harry replied with a smirk.

"Yes, but that would put Gryffindor five points up. We can't have that."

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up. "How very generous of you, sir."

"Give me those books," Severus said, holding out his hand.

"I'm not finished with them yet," Harry objected.

"I don't _care_, Potter," Severus replied, his annoyance building. "If you insist on learning this, you will do so when I am present and have proper test subjects for you to practice on."

"But..." Harry began to object.

"It's either this, or your books go back to the library and I revoke your pass." Severus smirked at Harry's indignant look.

"But, I'm not hurting anyone-"

"Except yourself. What you are doing is very dangerous. More than you realize, I expect."

Harry sighed and handed the books to Severus. "Fine," he muttered. "When can we continue?"

"After lunch, Harry," Severus replied. "Come and have a meal with me."

Harry nodded and followed Severus out of the room. They sat at a small table where a meal for two was laid out.

"Why this sudden interest in medicinal magic, Harry?" Severus asked as he served himself.

"I'm not interested in destroying life," Harry replied. "If there's a way that I can _save_ lives, then I would learn it."

They ate quietly as Severus considered his young charge. What he'd witnessed the boy do was _very_ rare and required a great deal of raw energy. The fact that he was still conscious and speaking, spoke worlds for the amount of power in his being. Severus was worried about the boy now, more than ever.

After helping Harry practice, Severus went to see Albus, still touching the smooth skin on his arm where Harry had healed a rather deep cut without leaving a mark.

"Blood pops," he told the gargoyle with a grimace. Why Albus insisted on going through the entire spectrum of candies as passwords for his door, Severus would never know.

"Enter," Albus said as Severus raised his hand to knock. He scowled and went into the office, sitting in front of Albus' desk without waiting for an invitation.

"We need to talk, Albus," he said snappishly.

"Would you care for a sherbet lemon or some tea?" Albus asked, the damnable twinkle in his blue eyes.

"I bloody well would not," Severus replied, annoyed. "I need to speak to you about Potter."

Albus chuckled and motioned for Severus to continue.

"He's an empathetic, for one thing," Severus said.

"Is he now?" Albus asked, the gods forsaken twinkle getting brighter. "That's wonderful!"

Severus waved away the headmaster's enthusiasm irritably. "He's also acquired the ability to do Instinctual Healing. His abilities are alarming."

"What did you see, Severus?" Albus asked gently.

"He was training his magic without guidance or supervision," Severus explained. "He was using himself as a test subject, for Merlin's sake! I shudder to think what might have happened if someone did not stop him. He then used me as his test subject, and healed the wounds flawlessly. He even removed an old scar from my forearm."

"He did all of this without a wand, I presume?" Albus asked, the twinkle fading as his brow creased with worry.

"That's right," Severus replied. "The gravity of this situation is undeniable. He has bigger problems than visions from the Dark Lord, or even his part in this war. Even if he _does_ defeat the Dark Lord, his life span is now going to be significantly shorter."

"You're looking too far ahead. He may have the gift of a Spellweaver, in which case..."

"Albus, you know as well as I do that Instinctual Healers and Spellweavers were never compatible. He's an Instinctual Healer. He cannot be a Spellweaver."

"The rules have never truly applied to Mr. Potter, have they? It's entirely possible that we have nothing to worry about."

"You are being overly optimistic. He is a special young man, I admit, but he wields a great deal of power. He is not immortal, Albus. He's - "

"Still perfectly healthy," Albus interrupted.

"How can you sit there so calmly?" Severus asked incredulously.

"What would you have me do, Severus? If you are right (and I truly hope you are not) there would be nothing I could do to help him. Spellweavers are almost as rare as Instinctual Healers. I do not know any Spellweavers, nor do I know any who could tell me where to find one. There aren't any in Great Britain as far as I know. _If _you are right and _if_ Harry becomes ill, then we will _all_ do what we can to help him, but without a Spellweaver our hopes would not be high."

Severus hung his head. "Has he not been through enough? Why must he suffer through this as well?"

"He may not suffer through anything, Severus. You are going on mere conjecture. You should save your worrying for when you have more tangible proof. He's fine. Just pray that he remains so."

"Very well, Albus," Severus replied, standing up. He moved to the door and left without another word. When he reached his quarters, he got his second surprise of the day: Michael was sitting on his couch.

"Hello, Severus," Mike said amiably. He wore leather pants, no shirt and a leather collar with two rows of spikes in it. His legs were crossed, left over right, and his arms were spread over the back of the couch

"What are you doing here?" Severus snarled, stepping in quickly. "You should _know_ better than to arrive here during the school year"

"Calm yourself, Severus," Mike said, not even shifting his position on the couch.

Severus bristled at being told what to do by a Vent. "Watch your tone," he spat.

"My apologies," Mike said, not sounding at all sorry. "Our Lord sent me to speak with you."

_Ah. That explains his smugness. I shall have to remind him of his lesson. _"And why did he do that?"

"He wants to know how young Potter is."

"He is healing well."

"Good. Then you shouldn't have a problem turning him over."

Severus moved so quickly that Mike didn't have a chance to react. He lifted the blonde by his neck and slammed him hard against the wall. "You will show your Caretaker the proper respect when you speak, Vent!" he growled. The fear in Mike's eyes was very satisfactory.

"I'm sorry, Caretaker!" Mike pleaded as Severus tightened his hold on Mike's neck. "I have... forgotten my place."

"Damned right," Severus snarled. He punched Mike hard in the stomach and released his hold so that the blonde crumpled to the floor in a heap. "Do not let it happen again. Our Lord does not tolerate insolence."

"Yes, my Caretaker," Mike gasped, gripping his stomach in pain. "Thank you for correcting me."

Satisfied that his lesson had gotten across, Severus moved to the couch and sat down. "When does our Lord wish for me to bring him the boy?"

"Next weekend," Mike replied, sitting up with a grimace. "Saturday at noon."

"Very well," Severus said. "Now get out."

"Don't I even get a kiss, Severus?" Mike asked, looking genuinely disappointed.

"No," Severus replied. "I do not reward impertinence. Now go."

Mike struggled to his feet and disappeared through the fireplace. Severus disconnected his floo from the outside world immediately thereafter and contacted Albus.

**THREE **

Harry looked at his two professors curiously, wondering why they had called for him. Professor Snape looked very uncomfortable and Dumbledore looked complacent as usual.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, looking from one to the other with growing concern.

"We have news, Harry," Albus began, using that gentle understanding tone that usually meant he was about to destroy your world.

"What has Voldemort done now?" Harry asked, leaning back in his chair to prepare himself for the blow. He ignored Professor Snape's sharp intake of breath.

"He's asked Professor Snape to turn you over on Saturday," Dumbledore stated grimly.

"So what's the plan?" Harry asked, ready to help in any way he could.

"He's not going," Dumbledore replied as though this should have been obvious. "His days as a spy have finally come to an end. All outside access to and from the floo network will be cut off."

"But I thought that his spying was extremely important to the Order," Harry commented. "Where will you get the information if not from him?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I have other resources, Harry. Professor Snape will be helping me in other capacities now. As for you, I'm afraid there will be rough times ahead. His anger at losing you will be formidable. I do not believe your potion or Occlumency will be enough to block him out. It will be painful, but Madame Pomfrey, Professor Snape, and I will be here for you."

Harry felt slightly sick, but nodded his head in resignation. "Okay then," he muttered, trying to keep himself calm.

"I'll be right there, Potter," Professor Snape said. "I won't let anything go terribly wrong, and I'll have pain potions for you as soon as it's over."

Harry nodded numbly and closed his eyes.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Dumbledore asked.

"Fine," Harry replied. "May I go now?"

Dumbledore waved him away and Harry went to his room, where he collapsed on his bed. He now had something to dread. He was sure he'd live through it, but that didn't mean he was looking forward to the pain.

**FOUR **

Hermione stepped into the library tentatively and watched Malfoy as he did some piece of homework or other. She steeled her nerves and walked to his table purposefully, sitting down next to him. He didn't even look up.

"Malfoy?" Hermione said gently, trying to gain the blonde's attention.

Malfoy went on writing as though he hadn't heard her.

"We need to talk, Malfoy," Hermione tried again, never one to be put off.

"I have nothing to say to you, Granger," Malfoy replied, his voice like ice. "I'm working."

"Please just hear me out," Hermione pleaded.

"No," Malfoy said coldly, still not looking at her. "I don't want to hear feeble excuses."

"I have no excuse," Hermione interjected. " I just want you know how deeply sorry I am. I shouldn't have done what I did. It was wrong and I know it. I would never tell anyone what happened, I swear! I feel so guilty..."

"You should!" Malfoy snapped, turning to her at last, his eyes blazing with rage. "You violated me! You violated my mind, privacy, and my right to tell you _if_ I decided to! How could do that to me? What were you thinking?"

Hermione tried to hide her tears, but they came anyway. "I was only curious," she said with a strained voice. "I never thought it would hurt you so much! Oh God, I'm so sorry!" She put her face in her hands and began to sob in earnest, her heart breaking for the small piece of her innocence that she lost by betraying Malfoy.

Malfoy was silent for a long time while Hermione wept. She was certain that when she looked up again, he would be gone.

"You know, it _was_ a very Slytherin thing to do," Malfoy said at last. His voice wasn't as cold now, causing Hermione to look up. "I suppose I might be able to forgive you."

"Re... really?" Hermione hiccupped.

"Yeah. I'm sure I would have done the same thing were I in your position."

"Oh, thank you so much!" Hermione exclaimed, leaning forward and throwing her arms around Malfoy's neck. He tentatively patted her back.

"You're welcome," he muttered.

She pulled away from him and stood up. "I'll see you on Saturday then." She moved away a bit and then turned back. "Harry won't be there."

"Why not?" Malfoy asked, sounding annoyed by this development.

"He has some kind of meeting with Snape," Hermione shrugged. "He said he'd be gone from noon until Sunday."

"Damn it," Malfoy muttered. "All right. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Hermione replied. She smiled shyly before leaving the library in a rush.

**FIVE **

"Potter!" Draco snapped at Potter's retreating form. Potter stopped and turned around, a question playing across his features.

"What is it, Malfoy?" he asked.

"What's this I hear about you not coming tomorrow?" Draco asked, putting an accusing finger on Potter's chest.

"I have more pressing things to attend to tomorrow," Potter replied, brushing away Draco's finger as though it was an annoying fly. "I'm sure you can handle it by yourself."

"The whole club was your idea to start with!" Draco seethed. "How can you just not come?"

"Wrong question, Malfoy. The question is not 'how' because the answer to that is quite obvious. The question should be 'why would I do such a thing?' The answer: I have more pressing issues to attend to."

Draco was flabbergasted. Did Potter just insult his intelligence? "What would you do if I couldn't cover for your lazy bum?" he asked venomously.

"I would cancel for tomorrow and reschedule," Potter replied promptly. "But, seeing as you're going to be there, I didn't cancel. As I've said, I'm sure you can handle it."

"Fine!" Draco snapped. "I had better not hear that your 'pressing matter' was shagging some girl in the astronomy tower!"

Potter smirked. Harry Potter, the Golden Boy of Gryffindor, _smirked_ at Draco! Draco couldn't believe it! He scowled deeply at the raven-haired young man before turning on his heal and storming to the library. He spent his free time for the rest of that night and Saturday coming up with something to teach for two hours in Potter's absence.

**SIX **

Harry sat on his bed nervously, watching the clock closely. 11:45 flashed in angry red numbers before flashing a fluttering snitch.

"Damn it, I hate this," he muttered, playing with the blankets nervously.

"Stop watching the clock," Professor Snape admonished. "You're making yourself anxious."

"Aren't you anxious?" Harry snapped back.

"Of course, but I'm not making it worse by looking at the clock every fifteen seconds."

Harry sighed and looked down, ringing his hands in his lap. "I'm frightened," he admitted very quietly. Professor Snape placed a hand over Harry's gently.

"So am I," he whispered.

Harry felt less vulnerable knowing that Professor Snape was also frightened of what was to come, but that he would stay nearby no matter what.

"What happens to you after this, sir?" Harry asked. "Won't Vol... erm, the Dark Lord come after you?"

"We are safe here, Harry," Professor Snape replied. "And I know how to watch my back away from here."

As it drew nearer to noon Harry's nervousness got so bad that his body began to shake.

"Remember your Occlumency, Harry," Professor Snape encouraged. He held up Harry's Curse Blocking Potion. "Drink this."

Harry nodded, taking the potion from Professor Snape and knocking the whole potion back in three gulps.

Professor Snape took the vial and handed it off to a very worried looking Dobby. Harry hadn't noticed the little elf before and he tried to smile reassuringly at him.

"Is Harry Potter feeling well, sir?" Dobby asked, his voice not nearly as excited as it usually was when speaking to Harry.

"I'm fine, Dobby," Harry assured.

"Thank you for setting up my potions, Dobby," Professor Snape said gently. "Please take that vial back to my lab and then return to the kitchens."

"Yes, sir, Professor Snape, sir!" Dobby exclaimed. "Dobby is being glad to help, sir!" Dobby scurried out of the room, looking worriedly over his shoulder before disappearing from sight.

"That little elf really seems to care for your well-being," Professor Snape commented.

"Yeah," Harry agreed, still shaking slightly. "I did him a favor once."

Professor Snape smiled sardonically. "Oh yes. Lucius told me how 'that Potter brat' lost him his servant. I found it rather fitting."

Harry returned the smile tentatively. "It was, wasn't it?" he said. Harry glanced at the clock and felt a nasty jolt when he saw the time: 11:58. His breathing picked up, along with his heartbeat. "Oh God."

"Remember your Occlumency," Professor Snape reminded him. "Calm yourself and clear you mind."

Harry took a deep breath and nodded. He closed his eyes and pictured a black void. Soon, he was in a deep state of meditation, his mind totally blank and calm.

**SEVEN**

Severus watched as Harry's face cleared of all anxiety. His breathing leveled to a slow, steady rhythm. Severus glanced at the clock and saw 12:15 flashing from it. He knew it would start in earnest soon. He rubbed his palms on his legs and tried to calm his own frayed nerves. He knew the Dark Lord was going to be livid once he realized that Severus was not going to come. It started near 12:30.

Harry flinched and his breathing increased. He fell back on the bed and his eyes rolled up so that only the whites were visible.

"Vent!" he cried in a hoarse, eerie whisper that sounded too much like the Dark Lord for Severus' comfort. "You said he would be here!"

Severus took Harry's hand as the boy began clawing at the sheets.

"Silence!" Harry snapped. "I do not want excuses! I want results! You will pay for your Caretaker's insolence!" Suddenly Harry jerked back against the bed and began screaming.

"Severus!" Poppy said from the door. She entered the room and quickly set up her things. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's only just started," Severus replied, holding Harry's arms to prevent the boy from hurting himself further.

Harry stopped screaming and began muttering under his breath. Severus tried to listen, but the words were slurred and unintelligible. Severus restrained from wincing when his Mark began to throb painfully.

"Severus!" Harry exclaimed. "Come now and bring the boy! Redeem yourself to me!"

Severus and Poppy stared in horrified silence. The Dark Lord seemed have become aware of his connection to Harry. Severus growled low in his throat as his Mark flared painfully, sending spasms through his arm.

"Bring him, Severus!" Harry declared. "Bring him to me and I will spare your life!"

"Never," Severus responded. Almost instantly, Severus' whole arm lit up with pain and Harry began screaming again. Harry clawed at his skin as Severus sank to the floor, gripping his arm tightly, clenching his teeth against the scream trying to tear from his chest.

"Severus, you need to help me!" Poppy cried. Severus stood and, ignoring his own pain, held Harry's arms once again. The torture went on for the rest of the day and deep into the night. Poppy repaired damage as it occurred in an attempt to save Harry's life. Severus forced potions into Harry to negate the effects of some of the more deadly curses. At nearly four o'clock the next morning, Harry finally fell still. Severus and Poppy were sweating and exhausted from their efforts.

"Is it over?" Poppy asked. No sooner had the words left her mouth than Harry began convulsing violently. "Severus, make sure he doesn't fall off of the bed!"

Severus jumped to action, holding Harry gently but firmly, until the seizure had passed. "What happened?" he asked.

"It's a reaction to the curses," Poppy explained, lifting Harry into a sitting position. "Come here."

Severus moved around to her side of the bed. "What should I do?"

"Sit down behind him. Lean his body against yours and hold his head back. I need to get these potions into him before his body seizes up again."

Severus did as he was instructed and helped Harry to swallow the potions.

"I need to get him to the infirmary," Poppy said grimly. "He's not out of the woods yet."

"I will bring him," Severus said. Poppy nodded and flooed back to her ward to prepare a place for her most frequent patient. Severus magicked Harry onto a stretcher and took him to the infirmary.

"Where do we go from here, Poppy?" he asked as the nurse situated her patient on a bed close to her office.

"All we can do is wait, Severus," Poppy replied. "I just hope he'd regained enough of his strength before this night."

"Yes, as do I." Severus sat down next to Harry's bed.

"I think you should go and try to rest," Poppy suggested.

"Will you be able to sleep today?" Severus asked.

Poppy sighed. "I doubt it," she conceded. "Very well. I'll be in my office if you need me."

Severus nodded and after some time he dozed off. He was awakened several hours later by a pained groan.

"Harry?" he asked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Harry began shaking badly and he groaned in pain. "Hurts," he said, his voice strained and raspy from the screaming.

Severus gave Harry two potions, one to soothe his throat and another for the pain. "Is that better?" he asked.

Harry nodded and tried to sit up. Severus arranged some pillows and helped Harry to sit back against them. Harry promptly fell asleep again after being propped up. After another few hours, Harry woke again, yawned and stretched languidly, causing Severus to stare. Harry tipped his neck from side to side, eliciting loud pops from his spine.

"That's much better," he muttered. His voice sounded better, but was still huskier than it had been.

"How do you feel, Harry?" Severus asked.

"Fine," Harry replied. "The pain's gone, anyway."

"All of it?"

Harry nodded. "My throat feels a little dry though."

Severus retrieved a glass of water and handed it to Harry.

"Thanks," Harry said.

Severus nodded in reply, for at that moment, his Mark began to pain him again and he didn't trust his voice.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked at once. Severus cursed the boy's attentiveness.

"He's just summoning me," Severus replied curtly. "I'll be fine."

"May I see it?" Harry asked, taking Severus by surprise.

"You've already seen it," he protested, feeling wary of Harry's sudden curiosity.

"I know, but I want to see it up close," Harry pressed.

"Why?" Severus asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"So that I know what to look for," Harry replied.

Severus sighed and rolled up his left sleeve.

"I can't see it properly from there," Harry complained.

Severus rolled his eyes and held his arm out. Before he could react, Harry had his arm in a vice-like grip, his right hand hovering over the Dark Mark.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Severus asked, alarmed. He tried to pull his arm away, but Harry had a strong grip.

"I'm helping you, now shut up," Harry replied, closing his eyes as a white glow appeared beneath his hand.

"Harry, no!" Severus exclaimed, trying to free himself again, but Harry's grip only tightened. "You're not well enough yet!"

Harry ignored him and continued to concentrate on Severus' arm.

"Harry, stop!" Severus demanded, but the boy did not relinquish his hold, despite Severus' struggling. The light under Harry's hand turned blue as he whispered, "Heal."

Severus cried out as pain shot through his entire body. He jerked back in his chair and screamed as the pain migrated, moving slowly though his veins to congregate at his Mark.

"What's going on?" Poppy asked, appearing in the ward just as Harry again whispered, "Heal."

"Harry, no!" she cried, running toward the bed. She hit an invisible barrier and began pounding her fists on it. "Harry, stop it! Let me in! Harry, you'll hurt yourself!"

Harry ignored her as well. The light beneath his hand became a deathly black shadow, which was promptly absorbed by Harry's body. Severus was released from Harry's grasp and sank back feeling dazed.

Poppy was released from behind the invisible wall and rushed forward. Harry was writhing on the bed, his own magic fighting the evil of the Dark Mark.

"Severus!" Poppy snapped.

Severus shook his head in a vain attempt to regain his bearings.

"Severus, help me!" Poppy pleaded as she tried to hold Harry down. Before Severus even registered that she had spoken, a black cloud began to pour from Harry's pores, dissipating in the air above him. Severus watched, still dazed, as the last remnants of the dark magic vanished. He was so overwhelmed that he could barely comprehend what he was witnessing.

Harry lay still and Poppy, breathing heavily from the effort of holding Harry, moved in front of Severus. "Severus, what's the matter with you?" she asked, patting Severus' face gently.

Severus jerked away from the touch, his mind swirling in confusion. He began to feel very hot as though liquid fire was coursing through his veins. He shook his head to try to clear it and was overcome by vertigo. Poppy had just enough time to react as he slid sideways out of his chair, unconscious.

* * *

**Author's Note: Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**LeeLeePotter: Hope this chap makes up for my lack of Severus in the last.**

**Sh'arra Rie: I hope you enjoyed my Snape/Harry interactions here.**

**Tamyka: I quite agree… hehehehe**

**Jenni: I hope this chapter was easier to get to. Ff . net does that sometimes. **

**Lillyseyes**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Patience, love, patience.**

**DestinyEntwinements**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Sword and Magic**

**Ktoddhim**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Jujube 15**

**Thana: Not a problem. I really am flattered that you'd ask.**

**Chibi-Kaisie: Slash in time, m'dear.**

**Mariana: I hope my SS/HP interactions in this chap made up for the last.**

**Nicky12330**


	16. Majority

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Majority**

**ONE**

Severus blinked as bright light assaulted his senses. He groaned and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"Severus, thank goodness," Poppy's voice said from across the room. Severus blinked and watched the plump witch walk over to him. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Fine," Severus replied shortly, though his voice didn't hold as much bite as he'd intended.

"Now, Severus, how am I supposed to help you if you won't tell the truth?" Poppy asked as she checked Severus' pulse.

"I assure you that I am quite well," Severus replied, and he did, indeed, feel better than he had in a long time.

Poppy sighed. "Very well. The headmaster has been waiting to speak with you. I'll send him in."

Severus groaned but did not object. Albus entered after a few minutes and sat next to Severus' bed.

"Hello, Severus," he said, folding his hands in his lap. "How are you, my boy?"

"As I told Poppy, I am quite well," Severus replied. He was well aware that Albus had not come to the hospital wing to inquire about his health.

"Tell me what happened," Albus said after a moment.

Severus didn't know why, but he smiled. He felt light and free and he wanted to go and explore his newfound freedom. He leaned toward Albus and motioned for him to come closer. Albus leaned in and Severus whispered, "He took it, Albus."

"Who took what?" Albus asked.

Severus rolled up his left sleeve and showed Albus his clear skin. "Harry took it from me," he said.

Albus took Severus' arm and touched the smooth, unmarred flesh just under the bend in Severus' elbow. "How?"

"He healed it." Severus leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "He just took it away."

Albus frowned. "And you _let _him do this?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Of course not, Albus. I'm not _entirely_ incompetent as a teacher. He was stronger than you might imagine, and I was in pain. The Dark Lord was torturing me through the Mark."

Albus' eyes focused far off as he thought. "I see." After a few moments, he sighed and rubbed Severus' arm. "Well! Congratulations, dear boy! I have some things to do, and I am sure that you need to rest." With that, he got up and disappeared from the ward.

Severus blinked in surprise before shaking his head and sitting back against his pillows. He rested for a moment and then he started to feel very warm. He threw off his blanket and his sheet followed shortly thereafter.

"Severus, are you quite all right?" Poppy asked as she entered from her office. "Why are you covers on the floor?"

"It's bloody boiling in here," Severus replied, feeling hotter by the moment. His veins felt as though they were filling up with liquid fire, more fearsome than anything he had felt before. His body soon felt as though it was burning, and Severus became certain that he was going to become a victim of spontaneous human combustion.

"Severus, your temperature is normal," Poppy said as she checked on him.

"Get away from me, loathsome woman!" Severus snapped through clenched jaws. He swore that, whatever this was, he would not cry out against it. Perhaps Harry had only removed the Mark, but not the connection?

"Severus, don't be so childish," Poppy admonished, moving closer to Severus' bed. All at once, a clear wave of magic erupted from Severus' body, sending Poppy harshly to the floor. The magic then reverted back, crashing into Severus and knocking him back into unconsciousness...

**TWO**

Severus slowly returned to the world of the living, hearing confounded voices speaking nearby.

"It was strange, Albus," Poppy was saying. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that he only just reached his majority. That's not possible, is it?"

"It seems unlikely, Poppy, but we must not dismiss it as a possibility," Albus replied. His voice sounded thoughtful, and for a moment, Severus wondered whom they were talking about.

He groaned and shifted slightly; his whole body felt strangely drained and energized at once.

"Severus?" Poppy's voice said near his ear.

Severus struggled to open his eyes, and when he did, he stared at Poppy curiously. She was surrounded by a pale pink glow and Severus decided that she had not realized her full potential by becoming a school nurse. How he knew this, he wasn't certain, but he knew it without a doubt.

"How do you feel, Severus?" Poppy asked, her voice tinged with concern.

"Tired," Severus replied, and then, "revitalized."

Poppy glanced at Albus, and Severus did as well. He found that Albus' 'aura', for that's all it could be, was a shimmering silver.

'_No wonder the Dark Lord fears him so,' _Severus thought. _'With power like that.'_ Severus was uncertain of _why_ he was seeing these things and _how_ he understood it so perfectly, but he didn't dwell on it.

Albus' eyes were twinkling merrily, much to Severus' chagrin. "I think that you are better than you have ever been," he said.

"If you say so, Albus," Severus said, sitting up slowly.

"It's true then, Albus?" Poppy asked as she checked over Severus' vital signs.

"I believe so," Albus replied.

"But how?" Poppy asked.

"I think, perhaps we should ask young Harry when he wakes," Albus replied. "Good day to you both." He left the ward swiftly.

"Harry is still here?" Severus asked before he could stop himself.

"Yes," Poppy replied, her tone suddenly gentle. "He wore himself out, I'm afraid."

"May I be alone?" Severus asked, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"Of course," Poppy replied. "I'll be in my office."

When Severus next opened his eyes, Poppy was gone. He slowly got to his feet and made his way to Harry's bed. Harry was on his back, breathing slowly but not moving otherwise. His body emitted a faint purple glow. It was so faint, in fact, that it was almost imperceptible.

"What have you done to yourself now, Harry?" Severus asked softly, placing a gentle hand on Harry's brow.

Harry didn't respond to his voice or touch.

"You cannot keep doing this, you know," Severus went on. "You're going to worry me into an early grave." With that, he bent and placed a gentle kiss on Harry forehead. He straightened and pushed Harry's hair back before returning to his own bed and going back to sleep.

**THREE**

Harry slowly opened his eyes, only to be assaulted by the harsh whiteness of the hospital wing. He blinked as his eyes adjusted and then he sat up and looked around. Professor Snape was in a chair next to his bed, fast asleep. Harry smiled slightly and adjusted his pillows, sitting back against them...

**FOUR**

"I didn't do that, I'm telling you," Professor Snape's voice said, waking Harry up.

"What's s'matter?" he asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He hadn't realized that he'd fallen asleep.

"Harry!" Professor Snape exclaimed, appearing at Harry's side. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine," Harry replied, eyeing Professor Snape strangely.

"What were you thinking, Harry James Potter?" Professor Snape asked, suddenly stern. "How could you just heal my... arm like that without thinking?"

"Oh, well I'm _so _sorry," Harry snapped back angrily. "I'll just go ahead and let you suffer next time!"

Professor Snape sighed and closed his eyes. "I didn't mean it like that," he said. "You just never take your own health into consideration."

"He would have killed you, you know," Harry said. "There wasn't enough time. I _know_ my limits, and I _knew_ that I couldn't just let him take you." During this interaction, Madame Pomfrey had been going about checking Harry over.

"Well," she said, straightening up. "You seem fine. I'm keeping you until morning, and then you'll be free to go. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, please," Harry replied, looking down at his lap.

"All right then," Madame Pomfrey said. "I'll have the kitchens send you both some dinner."

"Thank you, Poppy," Professor Snape said. Harry was surprised, but grateful that the Potions Master decided to stay with him. Dinner was a quiet affair, and Professor Snape seemed strangely subdued.

"I don't know exactly what you did," Professor Snape said as he set aside his dishes. "But thank you. I feel better than I have in years."

"I thought you might," Harry replied. "I found something interesting when I was looking at your Mark."

"Oh?"

"Yes. It seems that it was incorporated into your magical fiber. I think it was blocking your potential. Maybe it blocks your magical energy so that Voldemort ensures none of his followers are stronger than he is. Anyway, I hope that it didn't hurt too much when I removed it."

**FIVE**

Severus was shocked. The Mark had been blocking his magic? No wonder he'd passed out when it was removed. He stared at the young man next to him, wondering how many times he would give his own life force for the sake of someone else's life.

"Severus?" a voice said behind him. He turned and saw Albus standing by the door. "Ah, Harry. So good to see you back amongst the living."

"Thank you, sir," Harry said softly.

"I need to borrow Severus for a little while," Albus went on. "I will see that he comes to say good night." He opened the door and waited for Severus to follow.

Curious, Severus followed Albus out and the two wizards walked in silence to Albus' office.

"Have a seat, Severus," Albus said once they'd arrived. He took his seat behind his desk and offered treats, which were promptly refused.

"What is this about, Albus?" Severus asked, though his tone was again missing its usual bite.

"How are you holding up, Severus?" Albus asked, folding his hands on the desk in front of him. "I'm worried about you."

"I am well, Albus," Severus replied with annoyance. "There is no need to coddle me as though I was an infant."

"I am not trying to coddle you, Severus. I am, however, concerned about the amount of time you are spending in the infirmary."

"My charge is ill. Should I not check on his progress?"

Albus held up his hands. "You are misunderstanding me, Severus."

Severus sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, sitting back in his chair.

"There is a point where caring and worry cross the line into something else."

"Are you saying that you don't _want_ me to care about Harry's well-being?"

"No. I am concerned that your relationship may no longer be appropriate. I fear that you may have become attached to him."

Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. He stood up and began to pace angrily. How could Albus imply that Severus would abuse a teacher/student relationship?

"Severus, please do not take this the wrong way," Albus said in that gentle, condescending tone that Severus hated so much.

"The wrong way?" he snapped. "You question my integrity and then tell me not to take it the wrong way? How would you have me take it?"

"I did not question your integrity, Severus," Albus stated calmly. "I am worried about you. You are overly concerned about Harry's..."

"He has been inhabiting my quarters since last summer! Of course I am concerned! I don't know how to help what he has!"

"Severus, calm yourself!" Albus snapped.

Severus stopped ranting and dropped back into his seat. "What are you implying Albus?"

"Simply that you should distance yourself from him slightly. He's a teenage boy, and I worry that he may confuse gratitude for what you've done for him with deeper feelings of affection. He's too young to know the difference. You know the school's policy..."

"Do not finish that sentence, Albus," Severus interrupted. "If you brought me here to insult me, I think I'll pass. I do not know where you got the idea that I would ever even _think_ of touching that boy, nor do I want to know, but I will not just sit here and let you accuse me. Good evening." With that, Severus stormed out of the office.

**SIX**

Poppy was sitting in her office when Severus returned to bid her young patient good night. The professor seemed agitated and was visibly holding his legendary temper in check. He left quickly after telling Poppy to inform him of any changes, should Harry's health decline again.

"Do you need anything, Mr. Potter?" Poppy asked as she was preparing to call it a night.

"Um," Harry said nervously.

"Yes? What it is?"

"It _is_ a little warm in here," Harry replied.

Poppy found this statement odd because she felt decidedly cool. She removed Harry's blanket and checked his temperature, which was normal. "Is that better, dear?"

Harry nodded. "Thank you, miss."

"That's quiet all right. Now, you get some sleep, and call for me if you need anything."

"Yes, miss. Good night."

"Good night, Harry." Poppy smiled gently and moved into her room near her office. Harry was such a polite and respectful young man. She felt it was a shame that so many things had happened to him.

**SEVEN**

"Madame Pomfrey!" Harry yelled from the ward.

Poppy started and sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes and wondering what woke her.

"Madame Pomfrey!" Harry yelled again.

Poppy quickly got out of bed and put on her dressing gown. She entered the ward to find Harry standing, dripping wet and fanning himself frantically.

"Good heavens, what happened?" Poppy asked, waving her wand to dry Harry off. He had apparently dumped the water pitcher over his head.

"It's so hot!" he said, stripping off his pajama top. "I feel like I'm burning!"

"You feel... oh!" Realization hit Poppy and she lured Harry back into bed. "It will be over soon," she said. She erected a magical barrier around herself and tried to soothe Harry as he continued to whimper.

"It hurts," he said, and Poppy was touched by the pleading tone of his voice. He was taking the pain much better than many older students she had treated.

"I know, dear," she cooed. "We've all felt it."

"What is it?" Harry asked, fighting to get out of bed.

"It's your majority, dear," Poppy replied, still keeping the struggling teen in the bed. "You're a little young, but it will be over soon." After several more minutes of this, the magical surge that Poppy had been waiting for finally came. It was so strong that Poppy could still feel its intensity through her barriers. After she had Harry arranged comfortably in his bed, Poppy went to fire call Severus. She felt that this definitely constituted a change in Harry's condition.

"Poppy?" Severus asked, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. "What it is? Is Harry all right?"

"He's fine, Severus," Poppy assured. "I just thought that you should know that he's reached his majority. Have a good night." She pulled out before Severus could reply.

**EIGHT**

Severus went to see Harry first thing the next morning. He ignored the thought that Albus may have been right. Harry was still sleeping when he arrived.

"Good morning, Severus," Poppy greeted from the store cupboard.

"How is he?" Severus asked, moving to Harry's side.

"He's resting," Poppy replied. "I expect he'll wake soon."

Severus sat in his usual chair by Harry's bed and took the teen's hand. The strong purple glow of Harry's aura reassured Severus that Harry was fine.

Poppy emerged from the cupboard and smiled at Severus.

"Was it very hard for him?" Severus asked.

"Not overly so," Poppy replied. "He's a bit young, but I think it could have been worse." She handed Severus a list of potions that needed restocking.

Severus took the list with a sigh and a nod before resuming his watch over Harry. Harry was in for a rough ride, and Severus knew he would never be able to deny the young man anything, Albus' warning be damned...

"_I love you, Severus," thirty-year-old Jason told the man in his arms._

"_I love you too, Jason," twenty-nine-year-old Severus replied._

"_I'd do anything for you," Jason went on. "You know that, right?"_

"_Of course I do," Severus replied, snuggling closer to his lover's body. "We'll always be together, won't we?"_

"_Forever, my darling..."_

Severus made a vow then, never to hurt Harry. He would never betray the young man in front of him, even if Harry never returned his feelings. And why should he? Harry was still young and vivacious. Why should he feel anything for an old, washed up ex-Death Eater?

"Professor Snape?" Harry asked sleepily, pulling Severus from his depressing thoughts.

"Yes, Harry?" Severus replied. He realized that he still holding Harry's hand and let go.

"Is something wrong?" Harry asked, pushing himself into a sitting position.

"No, Harry," Severus replied. "Everything is fine. You should be back in your room tonight or tomorrow."

"Oh. That's good then. I hope I don't have too much homework to make up."

"Miss Granger has been collecting your assignments for you. I'm sure that you'll have it completed quickly."

Harry smiled and sat back. "I'm hungry," he said after a moment.

Severus smirked and informed the nurse that her patient demanded food. Poppy gave him a skeptical look, as though she doubted whether Harry would every _demand_ anything, and informed the kitchens.

* * *

**Author's Note: Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Lillyseyes**

**Tamyka**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**Sword and Magic**

**Ktoddhim**

**DestinyEntwinements: It's 'Spellweaver', but I can't tell you what it is yet. Sorry. _evil smirk_**

**LeeLeePotter**

**Nicky12330**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Cherrity**

**ShadowedDarkness**

**Jujube 15**

**Mariana**

**Demosthenes**

**Chibi-Kaisie**

**Jenni**

**Anarane Anwamane**

**Kears**


	17. Blaise Zabini

**IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ! **

**I feel that I should take this moment, before you read the chapter, to say again that this was written before it was clear what sex Blaise Zabini is. I say again, she is female here, so please don't send me reviews telling me that Blaise is a boy, because I know and I don't care. That is all. ENJOY!**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Blaise Zabini**

**ONE **

"Oh, please, Granger," Draco drawled with annoyance. "You're one of his closest friends. You don't expect me to believe that he didn't tell you what would happen to him, do you?"

"He didn't say," Granger replied in with equal annoyance. "If you don't believe me, that's your problem."

"Fine," Draco said, giving up on the argument. "I'll just have to muddle through on my own until Potter decides to wake up."

"You act as though he has control over this!"

"Well, Granger, it seems to me that he lands himself in the hospital wing more than any other student in this school."

"You bastard," Granger said in a dangerously low tone. She moved forward, stood up on her toes and put her finger on Draco's chest. "Don't you _dare_ talk like you know _anything_ about him! If he could trade places with you, he'd do it gladly and without regret. Don't you _dare_ presume to understand what he's been through." With that, she turned on her heel and stormed away. She was very intimidating... for a girl.

'_That was interesting,' _Draco thought. He moved casually down the halls, heading for the Slytherin dorms.

"Draco, sweety!" Pansy shrieked when he entered, throwing her arms around his neck. "Where have you been?"

"Away from you," Draco replied nastily, pushing Pansy away.

"Draco, love," Blaise said, ambling over and lacing her arm through Draco's. "Pansy is only worried that you haven't been around much lately. Isn't that right, Pansy?" She turned her brown eyes to the puggish blonde girl and graced her with an evil smile.

"Of course," Pansy replied, quelling under Blaise's piercing look.

"You see?" Blaise asked, leading Draco to a relatively private corner of the common room.

"Thank you," Draco said as he sat down. It was common knowledge in Slytherin territory that Draco and Blaise were off limits to the other's of their house. Everyone, including Pansy, respected the arrangement, despite the bride price Draco's parents had paid for her. Blaise didn't tolerate anyone near anything or anyone she considered to be her territory. This included Draco.

"No problem," Blaise replied, sitting across from him. Her smooth black hair was pulled into an elegant french braid, which she flung over her shoulder. "Pansy is the bane of Slytherin. She lacks refinement and style. What _were_ her parents doing when she was growing up?"

Draco shrugged and leaned his head back, wondering what he should cover in his next class.

"Where _have_ you been going lately, Draco?" Blaise asked cautiously, her strong alto pulling Draco from his musings.

"Hm?" Draco asked, thinking fast for a suitable reply. "I've been doing a bit of independent study."

"Oh?" Blaise asked, looking more interested. "Professor Snape didn't mention being allowed to do independent studies."

"Oh, he doesn't know about this," Draco replied, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm doing it on my own."

"Really? What is it?"

'_Damn Blaise and her curiosity,' _Draco thought. "I'm just reading up on Dark Magic," he said, using what he hoped was a bored tone. "It's nothing overly spectacular, I assure you."

"It sounds like fun," Blaise chirped. "May I join you in the future?"

"I would rather work alone," Draco replied.

Blaise gave him a very unsettling and calculating look. "There have been rumors floating around the castle," she said after a moment.

"Oh? What about?"

"About you, consorting with a certain black-haired, bespectacled Gryffindor," Blaise replied coldly. "I suppose he makes a better study partner than I would?"

Draco didn't allow his surprise to filter into his demeanor. "Is that so? And _who_ have you been talking to?" He added a little chuckle for effect.

"Some Gryffindors who have seen you together," Blaise replied promptly. "What have you been up to?"

Draco felt himself being pushed into the proverbial corner. "That all depends on what you've been told," he sneered.

Blaise chuckled darkly. "Well, you've been seen with Potter and Granger on numerous occasions, by people from several houses. I didn't establish my repertoire with the other houses for nothing."

"Why don't we go somewhere more... private?" Draco suggested. He got up and led the way to his private bedroom, courtesy of his father. "Look, I am trying to get closer to the Golden Trio, okay? Can you imagine the reward I would get if I delivered them personally?"

"That sounds fascinating," Blaise commented, doing a very good impression of Draco's drawl. "I want in."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said. I want a piece of that reward."

'_Now what?' _Draco tossed ideas around his head and found that he'd have to let her into the D.D.L. and then keep a close eye on her. "Fine. I'm meeting some people on Wednesday night. You can come along if you like."

"What people?"

"Some students. You don't get any details unless you come."

Blaise watched Draco thoughtfully before giving him a curt nod. "Fine."

"You can't tell anyone."

"Fine."

"And you have to pretend to be on their side."

"Fine." Blaise moved forward and ran a slender finger down Draco's chest. As much as he liked Granger, Blaise's touch could still elicit a reaction from him. "You should have known that you couldn't keep this from me."

"My mistake."

Blaise smiled and kissed Draco's chin gently. "We will speak again later, my fascinating drake." She opened the door and blew him a kiss before leaving.

Draco shook his head in exasperation before going back to the commons...

**TWO**

"What is she doing here?" Granger whispered furiously as the latest D.D.L. meeting broke up for the night. Needless to say, Blaise's reception had been less than warm. Granger was very suspicious of Blaise's motives.

"She's not dangerous, Granger," Draco said, annoyed. "She signed your little list, didn't she?"

"I don't trust her," Granger spat in an angry whisper.

"She wants to learn," Draco pointed out. "You said that the club would be open to _anyone_ who wanted to learn. I didn't see the harm in letter her in."

Granger glared for a moment, but made no response.

"I hope I haven't caused too much of a stir," Blaise said meekly from behind Draco. "I simply couldn't pass up this chance."

"And what _chance_ would that be?" Granger snarled. Draco had never seen the levelheaded witch so angry before. He admired her ability to sniff out a rat.

"To work with the smartest witch at Hogwarts without having to worry about House rivalries," Blaise replied, adding some honey to her alto. Draco could practically _feel_ the shy smile he knew she was giving Granger. Granger didn't fall for her tone.

"Isn't that _sweet_," she replied, spitting out the word 'sweet' as though it was a disgusting swear word. She pushed passed them and left the room, an air of disgust and dignity surrounding her. Draco's heart fluttered at the sight, but he pushed the feeling aside.

"She's going to present a problem," Blaise said thoughtfully after the door had closed.

"Once you win over one, the other two will follow," Draco replied, praying to the gods that he was wrong.

"Where was Potter this evening?" Blaise asked.

"I don't know," Draco replied with a shrug. "He said he had things to attend to. That was on Friday. I haven't seen him since." Now that Blaise mentioned it, Draco hadn't heard anything about Potter since they'd last spoken. "I'll see you around, Blaise," he said, leaving the room and heading for Snape's office.

**THREE**

Severus was sitting at his desk in his office when someone knocked on his door. He'd only just been released from Pomfrey's care that evening and he had a lot of work to catch up on. "Come in," he called, not bothering to look up from his work.

"Professor?" a drawling voice Severus recognized only too well said.

Severus mentally cursed the boy as he looked up. "What is it, Mr. Malfoy?" he sneered.

Young Malfoy looked calculating and wary as he observed Severus from near the door. "Do you know what happened to Potter?" he asked.

The question immediately put Severus on his guard. "Why do you want to know?" he asked.

Malfoy seemed irritated by the question, but answered in his usual arrogant tone. "We have some things to work on, but he seems to have vanished."

"What _things?_" Severus asked.

"School work," Malfoy shrugged as though the topic bored him. "So, where is he?"

"He is ill, Mr. Malfoy," Severus said. "I shall tell him that you were looking for him."

Malfoy nodded, but the look on his face was indiscernible. "Thank you, sir," he said, leaving the office quickly.

**FOUR**

So Potter was ill. Draco figured that he should have guessed as much. He decided that Potter was most likely in the hospital wing, or else Snape wouldn't have been in his office. Draco went toward the hospital wing, hoping that no one would see him.

"Malfoy?" Granger's voice asked as he got to the top of the stairs.

Draco cringed slightly and then turned to look at her. "Granger," he said in recognition.

"Where are you going?" she asked, walking up to him.

"To see Madam Pomfrey," Draco replied vaguely.

"Why?"

"Oh, you know. I don't think my dinner agreed with me."

"I'll walk with you."

Draco was annoyed, but he only shrugged and continued on his trek to find out what happened to Potter.

"Are you sure that Blaise isn't a liability?" Granger asked after a moment.

"No," Draco replied truthfully. "She's dangerous. That's why I let her come."

"Why? So she can give away our secrets?" Granger spat angrily.

"Of course not, you moronic little M... Gryffindor," Draco sneered. He barely stopped the word 'Mudblood' from spilling from his lips.

Granger pursed her lips, but let the slip go. "Why then?" she asked.

"You know what they say. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' She'd already figured out that I was making friends with you all. If I'd tried to get rid of her, she would have become suspicious. At least this way I can keep my eyes on her." Draco stopped walking as they reached the doors to the infirmary.

"What's the matter?" Granger asked, looking at him strangely.

"I have to tell you something before we go in," he replied. "I don't feel ill."

"Then why are you here?" Granger asked, knitting her eyebrows together.

Draco sighed and turned to look at her fully. "I believe that Potter is in there."

"What?" Granger asked, not understanding his meaning.

"I went to see Snape. He said that Potter is not well."

Granger frowned. "No. They would have told us if something had happened to Harry."

"Oh, don't be so naive, Granger!" Draco snapped, pushing the doors open and walking into the blindingly white ward.

At the end of the ward, near Pomfrey's office, was Potter. He was on his back, unconscious, and looking as pale as a ghost. Granger gasped and ran to Potter's side. "Well, that answers that question," Draco said. He walked to Potter's side and gazed down at him.

"Oh, Harry, what happened?" Granger whispered, pushing Potter's hair away from his face.

"I wonder what those 'pressing issues' were," Draco said, frowning.

"What are you talking about?" Granger asked, sitting down in the chair next to Potter's bed.

"Oh please," Draco muttered. "Don't tell me that you don't remember just last weekend. Potter told us on Friday that something had come up and he wouldn't be able to teach the D.D.L. He _knew_ something bad was coming. He just didn't know how bad it would be."

"Why didn't he say something?" Granger asked in a defeated voice.

Draco gently touched her shoulder. "Because he didn't want anyone to worry about him," he said.

"That does seem like something he would do," Granger said sadly. "I hope he gets well soon."

Draco squeezed her shoulder gently, but he was only half listening. He was wondering how Potter knew what was coming. He also wanted to know just what had happened to leave Potter in such a state. Where was Snape? Wasn't he entrusted with Potter's care? Where had he been when this happened? Draco was worried...

**FIVE**

Hermione was irritated. How could Malfoy just _allow_ that Zabini wench to come to the D.D.L. meetings? It had been three days since Malfoy ad taken her to see Harry and she was now half-listening as Malfoy taught advanced blocking charms. She already knew how to do these, so she devoted her time to watching Zabini like a hawk.

The girl in question was sitting on one of the little poufs close to Malfoy. She was very little, only about 5', and had waist-length, straight black hair; brown eyes, a small waist that was somehow still visible under her school robes, average breasts; and a shy, agreeable personality that Hermione didn't buy for a second.

Malfoy paired everyone up to practice and then pulled Hermione aside.

"Stop," he said sharply. "Okay? Just stop."

"Stop what, Malfoy?" Hermione asked.

"Glaring daggers at Blaise every time she comes into your line of sight. It's irritating."

"I don't trust her!"

"I don't either," Malfoy replied, lowering his voice and pulling Hermione farther into the corner. "Listen to me. If you want to find out what she's up to, then I suggest that you make _her_ trust _you_. You can't find out what she wants if you alienate her."

Hermione stared for a moment. "You're right," she said. "I'll calm down." She took a deep breath and joined the class. She and Malfoy moved around the pairs, helping people with their techniques. Hermione went out of her way to help Zabini.

**SIX**

"Harry, shame on you for not telling us something like that," Hermione admonished the day after Harry had woken up. He'd explained to Ron and her what had happened the last weekend as well as what he'd done for Snape.

"Sorry," Harry muttered, coloring slightly and looking down. "I just didn't want you to worry about me."

"And what did you think would happen when we found you up here?" Hermione snapped.

"I wasn't _planning_ on helping Professor Snape," Harry retorted. "I wouldn't have been up here this long if it weren't for that!"

"All right," Ron said, stopping Hermione's sharp reprimand with a look. "We know that you didn't want us to worry, but could you please tell us next time? We were scared when you just vanished from the school."

"Okay," Harry agreed. "I'll keep that in mind, though I doubt I'll have advanced warning if this happens again." They were quiet for a moment before Harry spoke again. "What's been happening with the D.D.L.?"

"Malfoy's been trying to cover for you," Ron replied. "But he's not nearly as good at defensive magic as he is at dark magic."

Hermione was debating whether they should tell Harry about Zabini, but Ron made the decision for her.

"Malfoy let Blaise Zabini join," he said. "She's a little shy, but not bad... for a Slytherin."

"He just let her in?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes. "He didn't take a vote or anything?"

"No, but it's not a problem," Ron said with a shrug.

"I shall speak to Malfoy," Harry stated, looking very thoughtful.

"Why?" Ron asked.

"We don't know her," Harry replied. "If anything, the three of us should approve of anyone he wants to bring into the D.D.L. I shall speak to him."

**SEVEN**

"You should have waited until we had all spoken to her and come to a decision," Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest. He and Malfoy were in the library, and Harry was lecturing Malfoy about his discrepancy.

"She was badgering me, Potter," Malfoy said in a dismissive tone. "I was tired of listening to her, so I let her in. She won't cause any problems."

"That is not the point, Malfoy," Harry replied calmly. "Do not let me hear of this happening again, or you shall find yourself short an ally. We let you into _our_ club and I would not have any trouble chucking you out. I am not a patient person, and I do not like it when people do things behind my back. Good day, Malfoy." He stood up and walked away, fully aware that Malfoy was watching him go.

**EIGHT**

Harry was leaving the Room of Requirement, having just begun teaching the D.D.L. how to create a Patronus.

"Hi, Potter," a soft, female voice said to Harry's right.

Harry turned and found Blaise Zabini watching him from beneath lowered lashes. "Hi, Zabini," he said.

She walked to him slowly, looking at the floor and wringing her hands in an almost nervous fashion. "That was a good class tonight," she said. She looked up briefly and then down at the floor again, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.

"Thank you," Harry replied kindly. He'd noticed during the lesson that she was a bit shy. "You did very well."

The blush on her cheeks darkened as she turned her head to the side slightly. "Thanks," she muttered. "Draco told me that you agreed to let me in."

"Yes, well," Harry replied, his irritation at Malfoy returning. "I'm willing to help those who need it."

Zabini backed away at Harry's sharp tone. "I'm sorry if I'm being a bother," she said meekly, looking on the verge of tears.

Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's not you. He just didn't inform me about the addition before agreeing to it. I am merely irritated at his lack of cooperation. Don't be offended."

Zabini smiled shyly, looking up at Harry for the first time. "Thanks. I guess I'll see you next time."

"Yes," Harry said. "Until the next." He watched as the petite Slytherin walked away, her hips swaying pleasantly beneath her robes. Shaking his head, Harry walked down to his room and took out his homework.

"Working again, Harry?" Professor Snape asked from the hallway.

"Yes, sir," Harry replied without turning. "It seems that there is a never ending river of make-up work for me to do."

"That's what happens when you keep missing classes," Professor Snape replied, sounding amused.

"Ha, ha, ha," Harry deadpanned, flipping through books to find relevant passages.

"I'll leave you to it." Harry heard receding footsteps and a door closing softly.

**NINE**

Severus set his journal aside, touching the golden letters on the cover fondly, before rubbing his tired eyes. He turned off the lights with a flick of his wand and lay down to sleep.

"_How many years, Albus?" Severus asked. "How many more sacrifices? He's done enough. Why must he do this as well?"_

"_It is his destiny to die for us," Albus replied._

_Severus shook his head sadly and stood up, leaving the office in poor spirits._

"_What's wrong, Professor Snape?" Harry asked when Severus entered his quarters._

"_It's nothing for you to worry yourself with, Harry," Severus replied._

"_Let me kiss it better," Harry said, moving to Severus and engaging him in a searing kiss. Clothes began to fly as the two lovers stumbled toward the bedroom. They fell onto the bed and were soon engaged in heated, passionate lovemaking. Severus kept his eyes on the beautiful creature beneath him, nearing his climax._

"_Don't let me die," Harry said hoarsely, raining kisses upon Severus' neck._

"_What?" Severus asked._

"_Don't let me die," Harry repeated. His face began to wither and decay, his hair falling out in great clumps onto the pillow. His fingers became bones as he caressed Severus' back and arms, repeating, "Don't let me die," over and over again._

_Severus scrambled away in fear, staring at the green eyes of the corpse on his bed._

"_You promised!" the corpse exclaimed. "You said you wouldn't let me die! You're a liar! Liar!" The corpse pointed an accusatory finger at Severus and continued to scream 'Liar!' in an eerie, dry voice._

"NO!" Severus screamed, sitting bolt upright in his bed. He stared around wildly, heart rate racing and breathing fast, looking for the corpse from his dream. He saw that he was alone in his room and buried his sweaty face in his hands.

"No," he whispered, shaking his head violently. "I am not a liar. He's not dead, he's not. It was a nightmare; only a horrible stupid dream. He's not going to die. I won't let him." It took several moments for Severus to compose himself before he took another shower and went back to bed.

'_Harry is a strong wizard,' _he thought, trying to force his mind to relax. _'He will defeat the Dark Lord and live to see peaceful times. He's stronger than Albus thinks he is.' _With these encouraging thoughts, Severus drifted into a restless slumber.

* * *

**Author's Note: Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this chapter. Thanks also to…**

**Sliver of Melody**

**LeeLeePotter**

**Anarane Anwamane**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: It will all be explained, not to worry**

**Sword and Magic**

**Ktoddhim**

**DestinyEntwinements: Not a problem, m'dear**

**Pure Black**

**Kears: We shall see**

**Mariana**

**JazzDancin'**

**Hikari-Aoi: Happy Birthday!**

**Jujube 15**

**Aurelius Dawns: Don't worry, this isn't a SuperHarry fic. He's just come into his powers, but I did it a little differently. If there's one thing I hate, it's being clichéd. I refuse to go down like that… hehehe**

**Sh'arra Rie**


	18. To Thine Own Self be True

**Chapter Eighteen**

**To Thine Own Self Be True**

**ONE **

Harry smiled softly as Zabini's deer Patronus sauntered about the Room of Requirement. It figured that she would have such an animal for her protector.

"Well done, Zabini," he said.

Zabini blushed and muttered her thanks before retreating to Malfoy's side. She glanced in Harry's direction and the blush got darker when she saw him watching. She smiled shyly before turning away…

**TWO**

March dawned on Hogwarts unusually warm and incredibly rainy. For the first time in months, Harry found himself happy about not being on the Quidditch team. Umbridge had sacked Trelawney and Dumbledore had hired Firenze the Centaur to fill the post. The scene had been unpleasant, at best, and Harry found himself hating Umbridge more than ever. A Hogsmeade weekend was coming up soon, and Harry stared at the back of his hand as he considered his options. The words 'I must not tell lies' glared at him mockingly, making his choice for him…

**THREE**

"Hey, Zabini, wait a minute!" Harry called as the latest D.D.L. meeting drew to its close.

"Um, okay," Zabini replied nervously.

Harry walked over to her and smiled gently. "How are you?" he asked.

"Oh. I'm fine," she replied, looking down.

"I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend," Harry said.

Zabini blushed prettily and glanced at Harry from beneath her lashes. "You really want to go to Hogsmeade with _me_?" she asked.

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise, Harry replied gently.

She smiled and glanced up at him. "Okay, Potter," she said softly. "I'll go with you."

"Well," Harry mused. "If we're going out on a date, I think you should call me Harry."

"Okay," Zabini replied. "If you'll call me Blaise." Her blush grew darker and she looked down again.

"Okay, Blaise," Harry smiled. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back. "I'll meet you in the entrance hall on Saturday."

Blaise held her hand to her chest, smiling. "Okay. I'll see you then."

Harry smiled, nodded, and went down to the dungeons. Professor Snape looked up as Harry entered and raised his eyebrow.

"What are _you_ so happy about?" he asked.

Harry's smile grew larger and he flung himself unceremoniously onto Professor Snape's sofa. "I've got a date into Hogsmeade," he announced happily.

"Oh?" Professor Snape replied. "With whom?"

"Blaise Zabini," Harry said dreamily.

"What?" Professor Snape snapped unexpectedly.

Harry spun around to stare at his professor curiously. "What?" he asked.

Professor Snape appeared to be calming himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. When he looked up, he appeared collected. "I really don't think that you should become too attached to that girl," he said.

"Why not?" Harry asked. "She's a little shy, but she seems nice enough."

"_Seems_ is the operative word in that sentence," Professor Snape sneered. "She's a very accomplished actress."

"Her emotions coincide with her actions," Harry countered. "Or have you forgotten that I can _feel_ that?"

"I do not trust her, and neither should you!" Professor Snape exclaimed. "Her entire family is totally engrossed in the Dark Arts and the Death Eaters!"

"_You_ above all, should know that I don't judge people by their families!"

"Nor do I! She's _my _student, in _my_ House, under _my_ care! She's not above trickery and lies to get what she wants!"

"So I suppose she can just have spontaneous emotions when it's convenient? Empathy doesn't work that way!"

"Why can't you ever listen to reason, Potter?"

Harry recoiled from the name and tone as though he had been slapped. "So that's how it is, is it? You think she's only going with me because I'm Harry Potter?"

"Yes," Professor Snape said bluntly. "That is exactly what I think."

"Is it so impossible that she likes me for _me_? I'm not vain, but I like to think that I'm at least _passable_ on a teenage level!"

"That girl is _not_ a normal teenager, Harry!" Professor Snape exploded. "Nothing she does is without consequence! She cares for no one and nothing but her own advancement! How do you think she got into Slytherin in the first place?"

Harry laughed dryly and without amusement. "Don't tell me that you're putting down your own House now! Oh, this is brilliant! You'll go to any lengths to make sure that I'm as lonely and unhappy as you are! Well thanks, but no thanks! I'll date who I like!" Harry stormed to his own common room, slamming the door behind him.

**FOUR**

Severus stood in stunned silence as the door slammed in his face. Harry's words had stung, and the ringing silence in the room was quickly becoming oppressive. He shook himself and stormed out of his rooms, intent on taking out his frustration on unsuspecting students roaming the halls after hours.

He couldn't believe that Harry had such a low opinion of him after all that time. Severus could have any man he wanted and he knew it. The trouble was that the man he wanted was still just a boy. How could he have allowed himself to become so attached to a boy twenty-two years his junior? Harry's words hurt more than Severus cared to admit.

**FIVE**

Harry's attitude toward Severus was frosty at best over the next few days. He refused to hold a conversation and answered questions curtly. Severus wanted to fix the damage, but he couldn't take back what he's said. He didn't trust Blaise Zabini, and he never would. He only hoped that his suspicions were wrong, but he doubted it.

Saturday came and went, and Harry's date passed without a hitch. If anything, Harry was more enamored with the horrible girl than he had been previously. Severus tried to talk to him again, but Harry gave him the cold shoulder.

**SIX**

Severus was at his desk, grading papers, near the middle of March when Albus' head appeared in his fireplace.

"Please come to my office immediately, Severus," he said seriously.

"What is it, Albus?" Severus asked with some concern. "Has something happened?"

"Just come, Severus," Albus replied. "We will talk when you arrive."

"Very well, Albus," Severus said, sweeping out of his rooms with a frown on his face. What could have Albus in such a state? Severus was confused and worried as he walked toward the office. When he arrived, he found that Albus was not alone.

"Hello, Severus," Mike said quietly from his seat in front of the headmaster's desk.

"What in the Hell is going on here?" Severus demanded angrily.

"Please sit down, Severus, and I will explain," Albus said calmly but firmly.

Severus sat down, glaring at Mike. "What the Hell is he doing here?" he asked.

"He's defected from Voldemort's ranks," Albus replied. Both Severus and Mike flinched at the name, but Albus ignored them. "He has an interesting story. Why don't you tell him, Michael?"

Mike looked nervously between Albus and Severus before nodding. "I… I never really wanted to be a Death Eater," he said. "I only joined because I was in love with Severus. I wanted to be near him."

Severus scoffed and folded his arms over his chest. "Foolish nonsense," he muttered.

"When he was… found out as a… a traitor, I knew I had to get away," Mike went on. "All I wanted was to be with you, Severus. I meant it when I said I loved you."

"_I _do not love _you_," Severus sneered. "Nor will I. I certainly hope that you do not believe that this ridiculous flight of fancy will win you my heart."

"I know you don't," Mike muttered. "I had hoped you would, but I gave up on that a long time ago. I just want you to know that I'll help you if you ever need it."

"How touching," Severus deadpanned. "If there is nothing else, Albus?"

"You may go, Severus," Albus replied forlornly. "Join me for chess this weekend?"

"Very well," Severus said before leaving the office. The last person he had wanted to see was Mike. His world was being flipped around violently, and all he wanted was to collapse on his bed and never come back out.

**SEVEN**

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: SCENE EDITED FOR NC-17 CONTENT!**_

Harry held Blaise's bare form to his chest, relishing in her warmth. His first experience with sex had been incredible. He only hoped that Blaise felt the same.

"Harry?" she said softly, flipping onto her stomach so she could see him. "Lets do it again."

Harry raised an amused eyebrow at her. "I think you wore me out," he said with a smile. "I'm not sure I could get it up again."

Blaise colored darkly at Harry's candid speech, but did not relent. "I think I can rectify that," she muttered. The two of them were in the Room of Requirement on a large comfortable bed.

"How do you plan to do that?" Harry asked, his heart rate already increasing.

Blaise smiled sweetly and began kissing her way down Harry's body, suckling on his nipples before moving on to lap at his navel. Once finished there, she moved down between his legs. Blaise slithered up his body, smirking down at him. "I want to be on top," she announced. Harry had trouble reconciling this sexual, forward _woman_ with the shy girl he had come to care for.

"Be my guest," he replied huskily, willing himself to be still as she mounted him. She grabbed a water-based lubricant from the small table next to the bed.

Harry let his eyes slide up her beautiful body as she lowered herself slowly onto him.

Harry reached his hands up and touched her as she rode him enthusiastically. He felt her smooth supple flesh, up her hips and over her abdomen, before caressing her perky breasts, running his thumbs tenderly over the hard nipples. Blaise cried out his name and leaned forward to kiss Harry passionately.

As Blaise collapsed against Harry's chest, she whispered, "Gods, you're beautiful."

**EIGHT**

A week later, the school was in chaos. Cho Chang's friend, Marietta, had told Umbridge about the D.D.L. Dumbledore took the blame for the creation of the _League_, as it was now being called throughout the school, and had fled to avoid arrest. Umbridge was now the headmistress of Hogwarts, and the Weasley twins had vowed revenge. They wreaked havoc through the school, with no adult intervention aside from Filch and Umbridge.

A month after that, the Weasley twins had dropped out, flown away on their broomsticks in a spectacular display of teenage rebellion, after having created, and subsequently leaving a large swamp _inside_ the second floor corridor. The O.W.L.s were scheduled to start in a week's time, and most of the fifth-years were in near hysterics. Harry alone seemed unconcerned about the important exams. The weekend after the tests was a Hogsmeade weekend. They only had one more week before the summer holidays.

**NINE**

Hermione watched as Harry and Zabini entered Honeyduke's together, holding hands. She frowned at the sight, upset that Harry was so taken by the girl. Hermione still didn't trust her.

"He'll come to his senses," Malfoy's voice said behind her. She felt his hand descend on her shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze. "Blaise is only acting. He'll figure it out sooner or later."

"Yes, well," Hermione muttered bitterly, turning to look at the pale Slytherin. "I only hope it's sooner rather than later. He got angry when I told him what I thought of her."

"I know the feeling," Malfoy commented. "Come on. Let's go to The Three Broomsticks and have some Butterbeer."

"I don't know…" Hermione hedged, glancing toward Honeyduke's again.

"It'll make you feel better," Malfoy pressed, smirking at her when she turned back to him.

"Oh, very well," she replied at last, walking next to the blonde toward the popular pup. "Maybe it'll help take my mind off things." Ron was there with Seamus, so Hermione and Malfoy joined their table.

"Where have you been?" Ron asked, sipping on his Butterbeer.

"I've been Harry-watching," Hermione replied. "He's gone to Honeyduke's with that little Slytherin tart of his."

"I can't believe you're still on about that," Ron commented.

"Yeah, Hermione," Seamus chipped in. "She's a nice enough girl."

Malfoy snorted disdainfully, shaking his head. "You think she's nice?" he asked. "Either she's really good at acting, or you lot are a bunch of gullible fools."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

"First off, her number one ambition is to become a Death Eater," Malfoy told him. "There isn't one Slytherin who doesn't know that. She likes to make friends with people from other houses and spread whatever she learns to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Her little 'oh, I'm so shy so take pity on me' thing is nothing more than an act to make people be friendly to her. Doing that also draws away suspicion. After all, how could such a shy girl make it as a Death Eater?"

"So why is she so interested in Harry?" Seamus asked.

Malfoy stared at him as though he were daft before answering. "Think of who we're talking about here. Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Is-A-Pain-In-The-Dark-Lord's-Ass. If she could get him into You-Know-Who's hands, she would be rewarded nicely. She wants to be an Inner Circle Death Eater. Turning Potter over would almost surely win her that spot." A long silence descended as the four students mulled over Malfoy's words.

**TEN**

"Meet me tonight," Blaise whispered in Harry's ear, three days before the end of term. "I need to see you again."

Harry smiled and pulled back to look at her, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Meet you where?" he asked.

"The entrance hall," Blaise replied. "I have a surprise for you." She was very excited about something. Harry could feel it rolling off of her in waves.

"Will I like this surprise?" he asked playfully.

"You might," she said. "I've got to go for now. I'll see you tonight!" She ran down the hall and disappeared around a corner.

Harry made his way toward his and Snape's quarters slowly, not wanting to see the sour professor any time soon, but not having any other options either. He had thought, for a time, that Snape cared about his happiness and well being. The way Snape had behaved upon learning that Harry was dating someone was proof enough that Harry had misjudged…

**ELEVEN**

He snuck out of Snape's quarters at 11:45 and slowly made his way to the entrance hall. He knew that she would be there at midnight, waiting with her mysterious surprise. As he neared the top of the stairs, pain erupted in his scar and he slapped his hand to it. "Grr, not now," he muttered with annoyance. He looked up when he reached the ground level landing and froze in place. Voldemort was standing next to the door.

"Come out, Potter," he hissed. "I know you are there."

Harry took off his invisibility cloak, shrunk it, and tucked it into his pocket. "How did you manage this one, Tom?" he asked.

Voldemort sneered maliciously at him. "I had inside help," he replied. At that moment, Blaise emerged from behind Voldemort's back.

"Hello, Harry," she said with a soft smile. "Do you like my surprise?"

Harry felt a strong wave of emotions hit him at her words. He felt anger, betrayal, sadness, and extreme stupidity for not listening when his friends had told him to stay away from Blaise Zabini. He stared at her silently, his eyes blazing with emotion.

Voldemort laughed, his cold, high-pitched voice cutting through Harry's senses like a knife. "She did well with you," he said. "She will get a good reward after you are dead. _Crucio_!"

The spell hit Harry before he even realized what was going on. His screams echoed with Voldemort's cruel laughter through the empty halls of the school. When finally the curse was lifted, Harry lay panting on the floor, his whole body hurting from the experience. He struggled to his feet, pulling out his wand as he did so, and turned to face Voldemort.

"You know we can't duel, Tom," he said with the air of one commenting on the weather. "Our wands won't allow it."

"I shall have to cure you of your insolence, boy," Voldemort snapped angrily.

"Only after you deal with me, Tom," a deep voice said from the marble staircase.

Harry and Voldemort turned to find Dumbledore standing near the middle of the stairs with half of the Order of the Phoenix behind him.

"Fools!" Voldemort spat. The entrance doors opened and a dozen Death Eaters spilled into the hall. "Get them!" Voldemort demanded. At once, the scene became chaotic as Death Eaters and Order members scattered and began dueling. Voldemort and Dumbledore were going at it furiously, each unable to touch the other.

Harry was dueling with McNair when two spells came from behind him, knocking the Death Eater to the ground.

"Stupid boy!" Snape spat, pulling Harry behind him to stand next to Malfoy. "Get out here, both of you!" he ordered.

Malfoy grabbed Harry's arm and began to drag him away, but stopped short when he found the stairs blocked. Sirius was battling with Bellatrix Lestrange. He dodged her jet of red light and laughed at her. "Come on, you can do better than that!" he yelled. The second jet of light hit him squarely in the chest, sending him flying back.

Harry pulled out his wand, aimed a bit low and shouted, "_Wingardium Leviosa!_" The spell missed by less than an inch, and Sirius went pummeling down the stone stairs, Bellatrix laughing madly as she watched.

"SIRIUS, NO!" Harry yelled, taking the stairs two at a time to reach the bottom. Behind him, he heard Malfoy yell, "_Exitialis_!" followed by agonized screaming.

As Harry reached the bottom, he knelt by Sirius' still form, resting his hands on one shoulder. "Sirius, are you okay?" he asked, shaking Sirius gently.

There was no response.

"Don't worry, Sirius," Harry said. "I'll fix you up. You'll be good as new." He closed his eyes and concentrated his empathy on Sirius' body. He pushed his power harder than ever before, not feeling any pain or emotion. There was no life left in Sirius. The man was dead.

Harry opened his eyes and asked quietly, "Sirius?" He knew that Sirius was gone and anger built inside of him. He wanted to find Blaise and make her suffer. He wanted her to pay for causing this to happen, for taking Harry's godfather away from him. Then, just as quickly as it had come, the anger was gone, replaced by a sick feeling in Harry's gut. If he took revenge, he would be no better than Bellatrix Lestrange, who laughed as her cousin had fallen to his death. Harry hung his head miserably, but then he felt a wand tip jab into his back. He turned and stood to find himself in front of Blaise.

"I really did like you, you know," she told him. "This isn't personal. I just need to turn you over for the power it will bring me."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Harry spat. "I should have listened to everyone. They told me not to trust you."

Blaise smiled at him. "You were a good experience for me. Now, move up the stairs."

"Bite me, whore," Harry replied calmly.

"Now, now, that's no way to talk to a lady. _Crucio_!"

Harry jumped out of the way of her spell, drawing his wand as he did so. "_Stupefy!_" he yelled twice, in quick succession. Blaise dodged the first, but was taken down by the second.

Harry turned and sprinted back up the stairs to find Malfoy engaged in a duel with his father. There were Aurors everywhere, and Harry could see Umbridge and Fudge joined in the fray.

"_Stupefy_!" Harry yelled, taking down Lucius. He ran to Draco's side and caught his arm just as he lost balance.

"Thanks for that," Malfoy muttered.

"We have to get out of here, Malfoy!" Harry said urgently. "Come on!" He began to lead Malfoy toward the stairs when he heard the Killing Curse shouted behind him. He turned swiftly, pulling Malfoy behind him, just in time to see Umbridge collapse to the floor. She was dead. He turned again, and began dragging Malfoy down the stairs and through the dungeons, headed for Snape's quarters. When they reached Snape's domain, Harry shoved Malfoy inside and locked him in. He could hear the blonde shouting through the door as he ran back toward the fighting.

As Harry reached the top of the stairs again, he found himself face-to-face with a Death Eater he remembered from the paper. His name was Antonin Dolohov and he had killed a family called the Prewetts. Dolohov smiled cruelly as he realized who had just run up the stairs.

"Potter," he said maliciously. "My Lord will reward me for recapturing you. _Stupefy!_"

"_Obsidere!_" Harry yelled at the same moment. Dolohov was so shocked that he dropped his wand arm to his side. Harry took the opportunity to attack. "_Petrificus Totalis!_" Dolohov's arms snapped to his sides and his legs snapped together, causing him to overbalance and fall backwards.

"Retreat!" Voldemort's angry voice shouted. There was mass confusion, and then the monster was gone, most of his followers having been captured.

**TWELVE**

Severus was panting from the effort of fighting as his eyes scanned the entrance hall. He saw Harry just as the boy turned and fled down the stairs. "Harry!" Severus called, and followed his young charge, wondering why the boy hadn't gotten away like he'd been told.

As Severus reached the top of the stairs, he saw Harry knelt next to the still form of Sirius Black. "Oh, Harry," Severus whispered as he moved down the stairs. As he got closer, Severus could tell that Black's eyes were open and staring, and his skin had a slightly blue tinge to it. He was dead.

Harry reached out a hand as Severus watched, and closed Black's eyes gently. "I'm so sorry, Sirius," he said softy. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't help. God, I'm so sorry." He fell silent as he let his head hang in misery.

"We should go, Harry," Severus said, touching Harry's shoulder. "We should get back to our quarters." When Harry didn't acknowledge him, Severus pulled Harry to his feet. Harry allowed himself to be led, but didn't speak a word.

After having Harry drop the intense locking charms that had been placed on the door, Severus went in the find young Malfoy sitting on the floor against the wall, looking exhausted.

"Do you know who killed Black?" Severus asked as he placed Harry on the sofa. He jerked his head toward the silent boy. "He won't speak to me."

"It was Bellatrix," Malfoy replied.

"And where is she now?" Severus asked, helping Malfoy to the sofa as well.

"Dead," Malfoy said.

"Did he…" Severus started.

"_I_ killed her," Malfoy interrupted. "She's nothing more than a pile of ash now."

Severus raised an eyebrow as he passed the young man a potion to drink. "And _why_ did you do that?"

Malfoy shrugged and knocked back the potion. "Survival of the fittest," he said simply.

"Indeed," Severus remarked. "Go back to Slytherin, Mr. Malfoy. Thank you for your help."

"Yes, sir," Malfoy replied before leaving Severus alone with Harry. Severus knelt before the teen cautiously.

"Harry, are you all right?" he asked.

There was no reply.

"Please, talk to me, Harry," Severus pleaded. "It's not healthy to keep it all inside."

Still, Harry did not respond. Severus sighed and stood, taking Harry's hand as he did so. He tugged on Harry's arm and the teen followed mechanically.

Severus changed Harry into some pajamas, put the boy in bed and fed him some Dreamless Sleep before retiring to his chambers. It was going to be a long, sleepless night.

* * *

**Author's Note: Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her work on this chapter. Thanks also to…**

**Hikari-Aoi**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Ktoddhim**

**Sh'arra Rie: Yep, totally finished. I wrote it a while ago.**

**Kears**

**Mariana**

**Demosthenes**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**DestinyEntwinements**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Itsasledgehammer**

**Jujube 15: Plenty of trouble, m'dear. Plenty.**

**Tamyka: Snarry is on it's way, but first Severus has to put our dear Harry back together again. I wonder how he'll go about it…**

**Nicky12330**


	19. Summer of Silence

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Summer of Silence**

**ONE**

Harry silently walked through the perfectly manicured lawn into the house of number four Privet Drive. Harry hadn't spoken since Blaise's betrayal, the loss of his beloved godfather bearing down heavily on his shoulders. He didn't know whether he'd ever speak again.

"Come along, Harry," Uncle Vernon said as he carried Harry's school trunk up the stairs. Harry followed slowly up the narrow steps with Hedwig's cage. When he entered his room, he placed Hedwig in her customary spot on the desk, and then sprawled on his bed. His mind clashing with the emotions of sadness, guilt, and memories as he lay there wondering how he could have prevented all that had happened.

'_I should have listened to everyone,' _he thought bitterly. _'Professor Snape wasn't jealous, he _knew_ that she was evil and he _tried_ to tell me. Why didn't I listen? How many times must he prove himself before I believe him? How could I have been so _stupid_?'_

"Harry dear?" A knock echoed off his walls, Aunt Petunia poked her head around the door. "Dinner is ready. Come and eat."

Harry didn't respond, but he followed his aunt downstairs. The only thought that made him struggle through the days was the knowledge that if he didn't kill Voldemort, more people would die. He could give up and join his parents after he'd done that, he didn't care, but not before.

After dinner, he went back upstairs and shut himself up in his room. A week later, Harry was still silent, and still remained morose in the world he made himself. He'd taken to doing exercise, homework, and learning how to draw in order to pass his time.

He practiced drawing figures from a book he bought at the library's used book sale. Within four days, he reasoned that he had a natural talent and he had started to draw people he knew. He was glad for being a fast learner, even if he didn't have Hermione's photographic memory.

"Harry!" Aunt Petunia called up the stairs. "You have a visitor! Come downstairs!"

Harry didn't want to see anyone, but he thought it would be rude to ignore them altogether, so he went downstairs. It was Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Malfoy. Harry was dumbfounded. Why would all of these people come here to see _him_ of all people?

"Hi, Harry," Hermione said when Harry appeared at the top of the stairs. "How are you?"

Harry shrugged as he proceeded down the stairs and into the living room. He sat down and watched them file in and choose seats. It didn't escape Harry's notice that Hermione sat next to Malfoy.

"We thought that you might be lonely here," Hermione told him. "We wanted to make sure that you weren't. Are you?"

Harry shook his head, lowering his eyes to his lap.

"So, what have you been up to, mate?" Ron asked, sitting back against the cushions of the sofa.

Harry shrugged without looking up.

"It must be boring here with only your git cousin for company," Ron went on. "I don't know how you stand it."

Again, Harry shrugged.

"It's not good for your voice to keep quiet for so long," Hermione commented. "Why don't you say something to keep it in good working order?"

Harry did nothing to indicate he'd even heard her. Hermione sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "We _all_ miss him, you know," she told him.

'_Yeah, but _you_ didn't cause his death, did you?' _Harry thought. _'You shouldn't have come here.'_

"I brought my chess set," Ron said. "Do you want to play?"

Harry didn't respond.

"I won't make you talk, if you don't want to," Ron assured.

Harry gave one sharp nod, and Ron set up the chess game on the coffee table between them.

'_Thank you, Ron,' _Harry thought. _'Your silent support means a lot to me.'_

" 'Mione is _dating_ that git, can you believe it!" Ron exclaimed, jerking his head toward Hermione and Malfoy. "She's going out with him, but she still calls him Malfoy! Nutters, I'm telling you!"

Harry looked passed Ron and saw Hermione and Malfoy whispering to each other quietly. He raised an eyebrow enquiringly.

"Oh, they've been 'together' for about two weeks," Ginny informed him, guessing correctly at his question.

Harry nodded his understanding, moving his pawn forward two places.

"Malfoy asked her out on the last Hogsmeade weekend," Ginny went on. "They still call each other by surnames though. It really _is_ strange."

"Completely barmy, if you ask me," Ron put in.

Ginny swatted his arm saying, "It's not 'barmy', Ron. I suppose they're just used to calling each other that. It may not be very endearing, but it gets the point across."

Ron rolled his eyes. "If you say so," he muttered, taking Harry's bishop as he did so.

'_I love you guys,'_ Harry thought as he moved his knight. _'I wish you didn't love me back. You're in so much danger just for knowing me!' _He sighed heavily as Ron took the knight he'd just moved.

"So, Dad is campaigning to have Fudge kicked out of office," Ginny was saying. "He says none of this would have happened if Fudge would have acknowledged that You-Know-Who was back in the first place."

"Yeah," Ron chipped in. "Half a dozen politicians have sprung up trying to win the spot. Fudge is expected to resign any day now, and the Ministry is preparing an emergency election. I told Dad that he should run, but he said that he wouldn't win because he's so fond of Muggles."

"Guess what else, Harry," Hermione said from her spot next to Malfoy. Harry couldn't help but notice the blonde's hand on her knee. "They're giving that Umbridge hag an Order of Merlin, First Class, post-mortem, for dying in the fight! Can you believe it? If she'd given us proper lessons to start with, non of this would have happened!"

Harry shrugged as Ron took one of his castles.

"Dumbledore's back at the school," Ginny said. "The Ministry dropped all charges after You-Know-Who showed up at the school. They said he's needed to keep the students away from the Dark."

Harry nodded his understanding as he took Ron's queen. Ron was so into the conversation that he didn't notice when Harry tipped Ron's king onto its side.

"Harry, you won!" Ginny exclaimed, seeing the surreptitious action.

"What?" Ron asked, snapping his eyes to the chessboard. His eyes widened in disbelief before he smiled and said, "Congratulations, mate."

Harry shrugged and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why don't you tell him _your_ news, Malfoy?" Ron asked, looking at the blonde pointedly.

Malfoy glared for a moment before sighing in defeat and putting his arm around Hermione's shoulder. "My family has disowned me," he said. "I'm staying at Hogwarts with Professor Snape over the summer. I think I'm staying with him for the next school year, as well."

Harry raised both eyebrows in surprise. _'Does that mean that I'm going back up to Gryffindor Tower?'_ he wondered.

"The Slytherins aren't very happy with me just now," he went on. "Apparently Blaise sent Pansy a letter telling her that I was on your side now. Pansy, naturally, spread the news. The only good thing that came out of that is that her parents voided the marriage contract we had. I never wanted to marry her in the first place."

'_At least _someone's_ life has been improved somewhat,'_ Harry thought. As he observed Hermione and Malfoy, he could tell that they found happiness and peace in one another. He knew that Malfoy had probably lost his inheritance when he was disowned, but all of the money in the world couldn't buy love and happiness.

Harry's four friends stayed until Aunt Petunia asked them to leave because it was late. They used a Portkey to the Burrow and vanished before an astonished Aunt Petunia's eyes. Harry went back to his room after they'd gone and went back to practicing his drawing.

**TWO**

Another week passed and Harry received the results of his O.W.L.s. He held the envelope for a moment before opening it and reading the results.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_You will find enclosed the results of your Ordinary Wizarding Level exams. Please note that an A or better is required to move on to N.E.W.T. level courses. Have a nice day._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Damaris Ortiz_

Damaris Ortiz

_Department for Magical Education_

_Astrology – D_

_Care of Magical Creatures – O_

_Charms – E_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts – O_

_Divination – D_

_Herbology – A_

_History of Magic – D_

_Potions – O_

_Transfiguration – E_

Harry was pleased to note that the only classes he'd done poorly in were the three he wanted to drop at any rate. He put his scores aside and began doing sit-ups.

**THREE**

Harry was drawing a picture of his beloved Hedwig when the real thing flew into his window, followed by five other owls. He stared for a moment before remembering that it was his birthday. He removed all of the letters and parcels and placed them into his trunk, unopened. He finished his drawing before falling asleep. He had visions of Voldemort and the Death Eaters all night, his Occlumency failing him because of his frayed emotions, as had been happening since Sirius' death. He woke early the next day in pain.

"Harry!" Aunt Petunia called up the stairs. "Breakfast!"

Harry groaned and dragged himself out of bed, going downstairs in his pajamas. When he entered the kitchen, a pile of presents and a large breakfast greeted him.

"Happy birthday, Harry!" Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon exclaimed (though Vernon looked less enthusiastic than Petunia), Dudley sulking behind them silently.

Harry offered them a sad smile and nodded his thanks before tucking in to his breakfast with as much enthusiasm as he could muster with his churning stomach. After the meal, Harry obligingly opened the presents, which consisted mostly of new clothes that actually fit him. He nodded again as he gathered his gifts and proceeded back to his bedroom. Once there, he dumped the new clothing into his trunk and began to practice his drawing. The next day, Professor Snape showed up and whisked him away to Hogwarts.

**FOUR**

Severus had heard enough from young Malfoy to worry him, but the letter he received from Harry's relatives clinched that worry. Draco had said that Harry hadn't spoken one word while he had been there. The letter stated that Harry was screaming at night again, and Severus worried that Harry had forgotten his Occlumency in his hurt. Severus obtained permission to bring Harry back to Hogwarts and did so at the first available opportunity.

"Mr. Malfoy's room is next to yours," Severus told Harry when they arrived at Hogwarts. "It's that door there." He motioned to a disillusioned door on the opposite side of his own room from Harry's.

Harry glanced at the door, but said nothing. It hurt Severus' heart to see Harry so sad. All he wanted for Harry was happiness and peace, the two things that seemed to elude the young man more than anything else.

Since the end of last term, Severus had been suffering from nightmares concerning the young Gryffindor. Harry's dry, mutilated corpse yelled at him night after night, telling him what a liar he was. The fear and the pain the dream brought never got better, and Severus woke every night in a cold sweat, yelling Harry's name to the night. He hoped that having Harry close would ease the dreams somewhat.

"Take this," Severus told the young man, handing him a vial of Curse Blocking Potion. "I'm worried that your Occlumency skills may be suffering due to your recent trauma."

Harry took the vial silently and downed the contents, handing the empty vial back to Severus with a nod.

The last month of the holiday passed quickly, though Severus found Harry's silence even more unnerving than his absence had been. Harry just seemed to be drifting aimlessly, unsure of why he kept going. Severus was very worried about his raven-haired charge.

**FIVE**

Harry flopped down on his sofa and began flipping through the various books he owned. He'd just showered after a long run around the lake and had decided to relax for a little while.

After finishing with yet another book that he'd grown tired of looking at, he blindly reached out to pick another one from the pile. He brought the new book to his lap and found himself looking at his photo album. He touched the cover reverently before opening it and smiling down at it. He slowly flipped through the pages, carefully studying each picture, as though committing them to memory. Then he came across the pictures of his parents' wedding. Sirius smiled warmly up at him from the pictures, and suddenly an anger such as Harry had never felt before rose up within him and he let out a heart wrenching scream. He threw the photo album aside, destroying everything he could touch and continuing to scream all the while.

"Harry?" a concerned voice said from the hallway.

Harry spun around and glared angrily at Professor Snape before taking a picture frame off of the mantle and chucking it at the wall opposite.

"Harry, what is it?" Professor Snape asked.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" Harry roared. His voice cracked and his throat hurt in protest to the sudden shouting, but Harry ignored it. "WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS LEAVE? SIRIUS WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY! HE PROMISED TO ALWAYS BE THERE! HE PROMISED, GODDAMN IT!"

Professor Snape approached cautiously, mumbling softly to Harry, but Harry didn't hear whatever the man was saying. Professor Snape reached out a hand, but Harry jerked away from him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he bellowed. "JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

"Why, Harry?" Professor Snape asked gently.

"BECAUSE IF YOU DO, THEN YOU'LL DIE TOO!" Harry yelled, and then he felt suddenly drained and sad. "Because I'm poison," he choked before breaking down into sobs. "Because everything I t-touch t-turns to sh-shit."

**SIX**

Severus caught Harry when the boy's knees gave out and sunk to the floor with him. He sat heavily, Harry cradled against his chest, and began rocking gently while petting Harry's hair.

"You're not poison, Harry," Severus said gently. "That's it now. Let it out." Severus silently thanked the gods that Harry was finally dealing with his grief.

"I don't understand!" Harry sobbed, gripping the front of Severus' robes in his fists. "W-why does ev-everyone I c-care about have to d-die? I d-don't want anyone el-else to die!"

"I know, Harry," Severus replied. "It's not your fault. You can't control what the Dark Lord does."

"I d-don't know w-what to do anymore," Harry muttered. "I d-don't know h-how to s-stop him. I don't un-understand why i-it has to b-be me."

"Sh now. We'll talk to Professor Dumbledore in the morning. He can tell you more than I can. You'll be all right."

Harry sniffled and snuggled closer to rest his head on Severus' shoulder. Severus' heart clenched painfully at the sight and he held Harry closer to him, vowing once again to protect him and care for him no matter what happened.

"Sir?" a quiet voice said from behind Severus.

Severus turned his head to find young Malfoy fidgeting by the door. "What is it, Mr. Malfoy?" Severus asked.

"Er," Malfoy said. "It's only that I could hear him yelling on the other side of the school. Is he all right?"

"No, Mr. Malfoy, he is not," Severus replied truthfully. "But hopefully he will be."

"Can I do anything?"

Severus stared in surprise before answering. "No, thank you, Mr. Malfoy," he said.

"Could you not call me that?"

"What?"

" 'Mr. Malfoy'. It makes me sound like my father."

"Very well, Draco. I'm just going to put him in bed. He'll feel better in the morning, I expect."

"Yes, sir," Draco muttered. He looked at Harry worriedly before reluctantly leaving the room.

When Draco had gone, Severus lifted Harry and carried him to the bedroom. After he tucked Harry in, Severus brushed some stray hairs away from the teen's forehead. He observed how lovely Harry's face was, the strong angles and small nose, complemented by the slightly tanned complexion. As he stood, transfixed, Harry brilliant eyes opened sleepily.

"Sir?" he croaked.

"Yes, Harry?" Severus asked, tucking the blankets tighter to cover his awkwardness. "What is it?"

"You don't think I'm silly, do you? I'm not being stupid, am I?"

"Of course not, Harry," Severus assured. "It's only natural for someone so young who's seen as much as you have. You just have to remember that things will not stay bad forever. It _will_ get better. You just need to be patient while you wait for that time. Do not despair, Harry. There are people here for you. Remember that."

"Thank you, sir," Harry said, closing his eyes again. "Good night."

"Good night, Harry," Severus replied. "Sleep well."

* * *

**Author's Note: I'd like to apologize for my slightly erratic updates. I've been ill for the last couple of months, and sometimes I simply can't concentrate enough to post. Bear with me though. This story will be posted in full, even if it takes a bit longer than expected. I'd also like to apologize for how short this chapter was, but I needed to get the summer out of the way. It brings us closer to the slashy goodness.**

**Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Lillyseyes**

**LeeLeePotter: Severus isn't likely to just give in to his feelings. He's an odd man, for sure.**

**Monica85**

**DestinyEntwinements**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Special ministrations, eh? Hehehe, I'm sure that'll come into play eventually.**

**Sword and Magic**

**Jeni: Blaise… well, lets just say I'm not done playing with her yet. **

**Lord Localfreak**

**Chibi-Kaisie: My goodness, you really like mine better than OotP? I'm so flattered! Thank you! As for your questions… we shall see, love. Patience is a virtue, after all.**

**Jujube 15**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**Nicky 12330: I'm glad to hear it. I hope you liked this chapter as well.**

**Kears: Go study! Pass those tests so you can devote more time to reading! What are you thinking… hehehehehe… just kidding. Thanks for the review.**

**Hikari-Aoi**

**Mariana**


	20. When a Kiss is not Just a Kiss

**Chapter Twenty**

**When a Kiss Is Not Just a Kiss**

**ONE**

Two weeks after the start of the new term found Harry dutifully working on his homework in Professor Snape's study. It was just after dinner, and Harry didn't want to be alone in his common room after the stress of the day's classes. The work wasn't difficult for Harry, but the students kept giving him pitying looks, and his friends spent most of their time either defending him or Malfoy. Professor Snape was sitting at his writing desk, acting as if he was grading papers, though his emotions told Harry otherwise. He radiated feelings of discomfort and nervousness, as well as mixed feelings of guilt, worry, and sadness. Harry didn't understand what was causing his professor's distress, but he didn't think he'd get answers by simply asking.

Professor Snape kept shooting glances in Harry's direction, though he didn't know that Harry was watching out of the corners of his eyes. Harry didn't like the idea that he was the cause of Professor Snape's discomfort.

"I think I'll finish my homework in my common room," he said softly, his voice still getting used to making sound. A strong wave of disappointment and relief washed over Harry, making him glance at his professor.

"Very well," Professor Snape said, his quill very still in his hand. "I just need to finish on these essays, and then I shall retire. Have a good night, Harry."

"Thank you, sir. You too." Harry closed his books, gathered his things and moved into his common room feeling extremely confused by Professor Snape's reaction to his departure. Harry thought about the help Professor Snape had been offering him for the last month and a half, and decided that it might be better if he avoided the man for the time being. If he was the reason Professor Snape's emotions were so confused, then he'd make sure not to aggravate the problem. He owed the man so much, and he didn't think the best way to repay the Potions Master was by making him uncomfortable.

Harry sat at his table in front of the fire and opened his books. He'd been reading the same sentence over several times before he realized that he simply couldn't concentrate on his homework. He sighed in frustration, putting down his quill and standing up. As he paced around the room, he thought about Professor Snape's odd behavior, realizing for the first time that it had been going on for a while.

_Harry was in his common room ignoring his work as he went through his photo album once again. Sirius' smiling face seemed to mock him from the pages, beckoning him to a life he would never know. He didn't realize he was crying until a tear splashed on the page in front of him._

"_Why did you have to go, Sirius?" Harry said softly, touching the picture lovingly. "I miss you. I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you. I just wasn't strong enough. Please forgive me."_

"_Wallowing in self-pity again, Harry?" Professor Snape asked gently from the hallway._

"_How would you act?" Harry responded angrily, lashing out in his grief._

"_I was a Death Eater for many years, Harry," Professor Snape replied. "I was the direct cause of many deaths, and I can't say that I enjoyed it. This is war, Potter. People die in wars. You can't stop it no matter how hard you try, and acting the heartbroken martyr isn't going to save the people you love. You need to get yourself together."_

"_I'm trying!" Harry yelled. "It's not easy when I've been betrayed and pushed aside a thousand times until I don't know whether I'm coming or going! I'd like to see you try it! You don't know what it's like to have the fate of the whole world resting on your shoulders!"_

"_You are not the only person to have had to go through this!" Professor Snape snapped. His emotions were ragged with frustration and guilt, but there was not anger. Harry stared at him, thinking about what he'd said._

"_Whom do you know who's gone through it?" he asked softly._

"_Albus Dumbledore," Professor Snape replied shortly. "And as you can tell, he made it through to see another day. Or did you think that he just chose to go after Grindewald with no care for the people around him?"_

_Harry stared at the Potions Master, a picture of Dumbledore planted in his mind. The twinkling blue eyes showed wisdom above all other things, and Harry thought that such wisdom could only come from experience. He wondered why he'd never thought of it before._

"_I'm sorry, Professor," he said, his anger spent. "I just feel so alone sometimes. It's hard to put things into perspective."_

"_You are not a stupid person," Professor Snape said tightly. "Use that thing between your ears that you call a brain and think of something constructive that could help you. Stop this self-loathing act and put your skills to good use." _

_Harry observed his teacher, wondering what the strong feelings of protectiveness meant. Professor Snape was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. His legs were crossed at the ankles as he stared at Harry with his piercing obsidian eyes._

"_You are not alone, Harry," Professor Snape said, his voice significantly softer than it was. "But the people around you cannot help if you won't let them. You must realize that you are not the only person affected by this war. Your friends have been suffering for you; unable to pull you from this depression you seem so determined to wallow in. We are all here for you, if only you'd let us in." He seemed suddenly deflated, his emotions telling Harry that he was exhausted._

"_I'm going to try to finish this homework," Harry said, turning to the books in front of him. Professor Snape nodded and turned to leave._

"_Thank you, sir," Harry told him._

_Professor Snape paused in his retreat. "You're welcome," he said before hastily departing._

The first thought to come to Harry's mind was that Professor Snape cared for him. In fact, the professor seemed to care more than he let on. This thought intrigued Harry, though he was certain that Professor Snape thought of him as something of a favorite nephew. The problem with Harry's discovery was that it still didn't explain the professor's discomfort in Harry's presence.

He began drumming his fingers on his book, trying to figure out why Professor Snape should be so nervous around him. '_All I ever do is try to get along with him,' _Harry thought_. 'We've had pleasant conversations, and I've even helped him with a lot of potions. I thought we'd found common ground. I thought I'd left the horrible Potions Master behind me forever.' _As he thought, the reason for Professor Snape's discomfort clicked in Harry's mind. Harry decided he'd been trying too hard to make Professor Snape like him. He'd made every effort not to get on the man's nerves, and now Professor Snape was uncomfortable because he wondered about Harry's change in attitude. That had to be it. Having discovered the problem, Harry found it much easier to concentrate on his homework.

**TWO**

Severus sighed deeply when Harry's door closed. He knew he must be broadcasting his emotions plainly, but he couldn't make the nervousness go away no matter how hard he tried. His feelings for the boy had been growing steadily stronger for some time, and he couldn't make it stop. He felt like nothing more than a dirty old man having such thoughts about a student, but he couldn't help but smile when Harry chewed his bottom lip in concentration. He was hopelessly, desperately in love with Harry Potter and it was eating him up inside.

"How do I manage to do these things to myself?" he wondered aloud, and then cringed as someone spoke.

"What things?" Draco asked as he sat right where Harry had been sitting before.

"Nothing that concerns you, Draco," Severus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I am simply wallowing in self-pity. Pay no attention."

Draco raised an eyebrow, looking remarkably like his father, and proceeded to stare at Severus. "You don't expect me to just drop it, do you?" he asked.

"I should only be so lucky," Severus replied.

"What do you have to feel sorry about?" Draco asked. "You've saved Potter's life more times than I care to count, and now you're helping me for no particular reason. You spied against the Dark Lord at the risk of your own life and you asked for nothing in return. Tell me what's bothering you to make you talk to yourself when you should be grading those papers on your desk." As he finished his speech, Draco began pulling books out of his bag and placing them on the table in front of him.

"Your are insufferable," Severus remarked. "I cannot and should not discuss these things with you, so you may as well give up now. I'm retiring for the evening. Good night."

"Good night, sir," Draco said indifferently, not bothering to look up from his homework.

Severus rose slowly and proceeded into his bedroom where he fell onto his bed fully dressed. "I am going straight to Hell when I die," he muttered before changing into his nightclothes. His dreams were riddled with nightmares, waking him in the middle of the night covered in sweat, screaming.

"What have you done to me, Harry?" he whispered, falling back onto the sheets to succumb once again to restless sleep.

**THREE**

'_Three weeks,'_ Harry thought. _'That's how long it's been since I figured out the problem. Three weeks since I realized that Professor Snape doesn't feel comfortable with me around. Three weeks since I discovered that I've been trying too hard to be his friend. I thought I'd changed my attitude enough that he would be comfortable around me again, but he only gets worse as time goes on. He can't even look into my eyes anymore.' _Harry sighed tiredly, rubbing his eyes vigorously. He'd tried his hardest to not be coddling about his friendship with the sour professor, but the more he tried, the closer he wanted to get. He came to the tentative, and slightly disturbing conclusion that he was attracted to Severus Snape. He wasn't bothered with the fact that Professor Snape was male, no what bothered him was that he was Professor Snape.

'_How do I get myself into these things?' _he wondered. _'Why do I always pick people who will be bad for my health?'_

"Harry?" Professor Snape called from his sitting room.

"I'm coming," Harry called back, rising from the couch hesitantly. He didn't know how to act around Professor Snape anymore, and he fervently wished that things could go back to the way they were. "You needed to see me, sir?" he asked as he entered the sitting room.

"I thought you might like to help me with a potion," Professor Snape said, not looking up from his potions journal, which was in his lap. "You've seemed rather tense for a while, and I thought this might help you to relax."

"Erm, sure," Harry replied. He followed Professor Snape through the kitchen and into his private potions lab. The professor moved to the workbench, where a large cauldron was already set up, and placed his journal on the table.

"I am attempting to improve the Wolfsbane Potion as a step to finding a cure for lycanthrope," Professor Snape explained, moving to the cabinets and removing several ingredients as he spoke.

"Why do you care so much about what happens to the werewolves?" Harry asked carefully.

Professor Snape removed a jar from his cabinet and examined the label before replacing it. "The problem is that society views werewolves as a species separate from humans. It is my opinion that lycanthrope is a disease and should be dealt with as such. Those afflicted with it are human most of the time, the only exception being during the full moon days." He moved back to the workbench, laying all of his ingredients down, turned to Harry and leaned one hand on the table as he continued. "Diseases all have a basis in the blood, so that is where the answer to the problem lays. The problem is that no one has ever bothered to examine werewolf blood to find out where the disease is."

"So how do you plan to make the Wolfsbane better?" Harry asked. "How can you if you don't know anything about the disease?"

"I know that Wolfsbane is called such because werewolves are extremely allergic to it, but only in the wolf form. My thought is that if you add more wolfsbane to the potion, it will dull the tendencies of the wolf better. The problem is that wolfsbane is poisonous if taken in large quantities, so I have to find another ingredient to counteract the poison."

"What about dragon's blood?"

Professor Snape shook his head. "Dragon's blood nullifies the wolfsbane, making it useless. I've tried it."

"May I look at your journal?"

Professor Snape pushed the journal toward Harry, and stood quietly, waiting to see what Harry would come up with.

**FOUR**

Severus watched in fascination as Harry chewed the end of a quill, reading over the modified but incomplete Wolfsbane potion in the journal. He decided that Harry simply didn't realize how sexy he was. Severus had finally managed to keep himself calm in Harry's presence, only to realize that this made him more aware of the attraction.

"Have you ever tried astragalus?" Harry asked after several moments.

"I have not," Professor Snape replied.

"Maybe you should."

"Why?"

"Well, it's important to maintaining the immune system. If what you say is true, the first step to getting rid of lycanthrope would be to strengthen the immune system."

"Your theory is sound, but we still have the problem of the toxicity of the potion. Increased wolfsbane combined with belladonna would make any normal person drop dead on the spot. I am afraid that I can't find any counter for that."

"What about Echinacea?"

"The Muggle drug? Why would I use that in a potion?"

Harry rolled his eyes irritably before turning to look at the Potions Master. "Just because Muggles found it first doesn't mean that it's not useful. It helps with swelling, infection and inflammation. It might help to counteract the toxicity of the wolfsbane and belladonna. The least it could do would be to lighten the blow, making the werewolf sick instead of dead."

"No one will want to drink it if it makes them sick for days on end. Perhaps we could use something like Anise seeds to help that. The increased wolfsbane will mean that the victim won't have to take as many dosages before the change."

"Will it make the change easier?"

"That is my hope, yes. We won't know until we find a willing test subject."

"Should we try to make it now, sir?" Harry asked, setting the quill gently on top of the journal. "You know if you take out half the water and replace it with essence of murtlap tentacles, it will make the potion more soothing and less diluted."

"If we were to use strained murtlap tentacles without a solution, that might work. I'll set up the cauldron now, and you can strain the tentacles. They're in the far left cabinet by the wall. The jar is labeled."

"Yes, sir," Harry replied, moving to the indicated cabinet. Severus surreptitiously watched Harry as he added water to the cauldron and lit a flame underneath. Harry brought the jar of murtlap tentacles to the counter and wrinkled his nose when he removed the lid. He brought out three tentacles and carefully strained the thick yellow juice from them. When he'd finished, he carefully added the contents to the cauldron.

"We must bring it to a simmer before adding anything else," Severus said softly, studiously keeping his eyes off of the young Gryffindor. He could feel Harry watching him, but he didn't want to appear interested in that fact.

"Why did you ask me to help you with this?" Harry asked suddenly. "You would have figured it out."

"It was faster this way," Severus replied, watching the cauldron intently. "I've been working on it for weeks. Sometimes another person's input helps to speed along the process."

"A watched pot never boils you know," Harry said.

"What?" Severus asked, turning to look at Harry at last. Harry smiled at him.

"It's a Muggle thing. Why don't we have some tea while we wait?"

"Tea is distracting. If it becomes too thick we'll have to start over."

"Set a timer then," Harry said, and proceeded to do so. He conjured a table and chairs along with a tea service. "Black, right?"

Severus nodded reluctantly, sitting across from Harry. "Who can we get as a test subject?"

"I'm sure there are several werewolves that would love to help. You could ask Lupin."

"It could be dangerous for him to take it."

Harry shrugged, taking a sip from his tea. "He probably wouldn't do it anyway if it involves coming here."

"What are you talking about?"

"He's been avoiding me. He won't answer my letters." Harry seemed sad about the fact, rather than angry. "I can't blame him though. I _did_ kill Sirius."

"You did not kill your godfather, Harry. How many times must I tell you?"

Harry shrugged but did not reply. "It makes no difference now."

As Severus opened his mouth to say something, the alarm on the cauldron went off. He rose from his seat, moving swiftly to stand in front of the cauldron again. "We should add the belladonna now," he said.

Harry passed the powdered ingredient silently, and they paused for a moment as their hands brushed, sending a shock up Severus' arm and spine.

"Do you have homework?" Severus asked, pulling his hand back abruptly.

Harry swallowed hard, nodding his head slowly.

"Go do it then," Severus told him. "I've kept you from it for long enough."

"Yes, sir," Harry whispered before leaving in a rush.

'_Brilliant, Severus,'_ Severus thought irritably. _'Now you've frightened him away.'_

**FIVE**

Harry collapsed on his couch unable to get over the shock of power he'd felt when he's touched Professor Snape's skin. He also couldn't stop thinking about how Professor Snape had kicked him out of the lab after they'd touched.

'_Stupid, stupid!'_ Harry admonished himself. _'Yeah, lets have some tea and a little chat so I can feel you up. Idiot! Just push him away with a ten meter pole, why don't you! Stupid, stupid Gryffindor!'_

**SIX**

Potions class the next day was an exercise in slow torture. Try as he might, Harry simply couldn't concentrate on the potion he was supposed to be making. He kept noticing the way Professor Snape was avoiding his general area of the classroom, even though there were no more than a dozen students in the N.E.W.T level Gryffindor/Slytherin class.

"Harry, you're not paying attention!" Hermione whispered furiously in front of him. "It's going to boil over!"

"Thanks," Harry muttered, dousing the flame quickly with his wand. Hermione and Malfoy shared a concerned look over their cauldron.

"Harry, I know you're still upset, but I don't want to fail this class," Ron said softly at Harry's side.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Harry snapped. Apparently, he said it louder than he'd thought because Professor Snape finally turned his attention to Harry's little corner.

"Is something wrong, Mr. Potter?" he asked acerbically. "Or is the potion not enough to hold your interest?"

"It's fine, Professor Snape, I was just asking Ron a question."

"I am not your professor for nothing, Mr. Potter. If you have a pertinent question, ask me, not your friend. Otherwise, you know the rules."

"Yes, sir."

"Five points from Gryffindor." Professor Snape swept back to his desk in a whirl of billowing black robes, sitting behind it and passing his eyes over the assembled students.

Harry swallowed audibly before turning his attention back to the potion. "Right, what's next?"

"Venomous Tentacula sap," Ron replied quietly, passing the ingredient over. Harry measured the proper amount, pouring it into the cauldron as Ron stirred anticlockwise. Ron and Harry finished just as the bell rang.

"Stay behind, Mr. Potter," Professor Snape said from his desk.

Harry sighed, sitting back down as his friends threw him sympathetic looks. "Yes, sir," he muttered. After all the other students had gone, Professor Snape stood up and moved to Harry's desk.

"What was going on today, Harry? I haven't seen you that distracted for some time."

"I'm sorry, sir," Harry said dejectedly. "I have a lot on my mind."

"Is this about Lupin?"

Harry was rather startled by the question, but took advantage of the opportunity it presented. "Yes," he said softly, trying to sound miserable, which wasn't difficult. "I just don't understand why he's cutting me out of his life."

"He's a fool, Harry. You shouldn't let him get to you this way. If I'd known that working on the wolfsbane would have affected you this way, I never would have suggested it."

"It's not your fault, sir," Harry muttered, standing up slowly. "May I go?"

"You may, but please try to focus better in the rest of your classes. You shouldn't let Lupin's stupidity affect your grades."

"I will, sir." With that, Harry left the potions lab, wishing that he could tell the professor the real reason that he couldn't concentrate on that potion. Having Professor Snape in the same room with him just wasn't conductive to his education.

**SEVEN**

_Dear Harry,_

_Thank you for your offer, but I will have to regrettably decline. I am very busy at the moment, and I haven't the time to make a pit stop at Hogwarts to test a potion that may or may not work. Have a good day, Harry, and I'll write again later._

_Yours,_

_Remus Lupin_

Harry sighed at the very lukewarm reply he'd gotten from Lupin. The werewolf had made it sound like Harry was only using the potion as an excuse to see him, which wasn't all together untrue. He put the letter away and proceeded to work on a lengthy Transfiguration essay that was due the next day. He finished late that evening, missing dinner and part of the free time before curfew. He stood up, stretching his arms over his head, bending his spine, and rotating his head, eliciting loud popping noises from his neck.

"You should use the desk," Professor Snape said from the hall. "It would be more comfortable."

Harry turned to look at the man, and saw that he was once again leaning casually against the wall. "I like to work by the fire," he said. "Left over habit from Gryffindor Tower, I suppose."

"Have you had any visions recently?"

Harry stared for a moment before answering. "No."

"You haven't had the potion again, so I assume that your Occlumency is working well."

"Yes, sir."

"Then might I suggest that you would be more comfortable in your dormitory with your friends. You must get lonely down here with no one your own age."

"Malfoy is down here too."

"You two don't talk much."

"Sure we do, and we help each other with homework."

"Nonetheless, I believe that your isolation from the rest of the school is no longer necessary."

Harry sighed, sitting on the sofa heavily. "Yes, sir."

"I will inform the headmaster so that you may return to Gryffindor tomorrow."

"Yes, sir."

"Good night, Harry."

"Good night, Professor Snape." Harry put his face in his hands when he heard the door close. _'I've really screwed up this time. Now he's kicking me out. I wish I was as in control as he is.'_

**EIGHT**

Severus had hoped that sending Harry back to Gryffindor Tower would have been enough to forget his attraction to the teen. Unfortunately, the distance only made him watch the boy more closely during class and meal times. Damn it all! All he wanted was to maintain his integrity.

He noticed how dejected Harry looked during the day, and couldn't help but wonder if perhaps it was because of sending him away. He didn't like to think about it, but he thought that perhaps Harry needed the seclusion in order to feel normal. He doubted whether the other students treated him as a normal teen after all that had happened during the last year and half. He sighed heavily, wondering again if he'd made the right decision by pushing the boy away so suddenly.

**NINE**

Severus was in his rooms grading papers when there was a tentative knock at his door. He looked at the clock and saw that it was well after curfew, causing him to wonder who could possibly be calling. "Enter," he called, causing the wards to drop, allowing his visitor entrance.

The door opened slowly, revealing the tousled head of Harry Potter. Harry came in slowly, closing the door behind him and proceeded to fidget nervously.

"Is something wrong, Harry?" Severus asked with concern.

"I, erm, I had a nightmare," Harry said softly, seemingly embarrassed about the fact.

"Come in," Severus said, rising from his desk. He moved to the couch and sat, indicating that Harry should do so as well. "Tell me about your dream."

Harry sat down, folding his hands in his lap. "It was about Sirius," he said softly. "He was asking why I didn't save him, and then Remus came and told me that it was my fault, and that's why he won't speak to me."

Severus sighed. "You realize that this dream is only your guilty conscious manifesting itself. Black would have never blamed you for what happened to him. It was his choice to come to the school that night, and it was Bellatrix's choice to send him down those stairs. With or without you there, it would not have played out any differently. Until you realize that, these dreams will continue to plague you."

"I know all that, but it still feels like my fault," Harry muttered, his voice strained with emotion. "I just keep seeing him falling down those stairs and thinking 'if only my aim had been true, he'd still be alive'. I don't know how to cope with this."

"Have you spoken to anyone about this?"

"I'm speaking to you."

"Besides me."

"I've tried to talk to Remus, but he's still avoiding me. I just wish that I could make him understand that I miss Sirius as much as he does."

'_Foolish, idiotic werewolf! How dare he do this to Harry!' _Severus placed his hand on Harry's arm. "I'm sure he'll come around," he said.

"May I stay here tonight, sir?"

"Are you in pain?" Severus was concerned that there was more that Harry wasn't telling him.

"Not physical pain, no."

"You know you can't stay, Harry," Severus said gently. "It is better for you to be around your peers."

Harry sighed, standing from his seat. "Thank you for your time, sir," he said sadly. Severus walked Harry to the door, and just as Harry was reaching to open it, Severus reached out to touch the young man's arm. Harry turned, his beautiful green eyes full of pain, sadness, and something Severus couldn't decipher. Severus acted before he thought of the ramifications of his actions; he pulled Harry close to him, and kissed the young Gryffindor full on the lips. The same shock of magic rolled through Severus' body, multiplied tenfold when Harry licked his bottom lip.

Severus opened his mouth slightly, only to feel Harry's tongue invade his mouth. The feel of the magic was almost overwhelming, and Severus could feel his body reacting to it. His breathing and heart rate increased, causing him to pull Harry closer, exploring the Gryffindor's mouth languidly. The magic wiped all other thoughts from his mind. All he knew was that he needed this man in his arms more than he needed food, water or air. He would die without Harry.

* * *

**Author's Note: And finally, the long awaited SLASH! Don't worry, this scene continues in the next chapter. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Jujube 15**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**Theshygirl: Thank you**

**Sliver of Melody: Thanks for that. I'm seeing the doc in a few days, so hopefully he'll be able to shed some light for me.**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Kears: It's my poor little tummy, but I'm hopeful that the doc will be able to fix me soon. He's tried a few things, but so far nothing's helped. We'll see… Have fun with your studies!**

**Ktoddhim**

**Hikari-Aoi: That's a very good question. This was my first ever HP/SS fic. I decided to try me hand at one after reading a few other good one with that pairing. I almost gave up after the first couple of chapters when OotP came out, because I couldn't figure where I could take it. After that, I said, 'You know what? That Umbridge hag needs to die!' From there, I just kind of got my muse back on this, and wala! Hehehehehe.**

**LeeLeePotter**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Snape does have his charms, doesn't he? Hehehehe**

**Chibi-Kaisie: Answers are coming, not to worry, m'dear.**

**Tamyka: Yes, the Dursleys were told. It's Dumbledore's responsibility as Headmaster to make sure they're aware of what went on at school. As for the slash… let's just say I hope the next chapter makes up for the long wait.**

**DestinyEntwinements: It starts now…**

**Sword and Magic**

**Gothic-hands**

**Jeni: Don't worry, I will… hehehehe**

**Mariana**

**Medicated Drama Queen: Thanks for the good vibes. I sure could use them about now.**

**EmeraldEyed**

**Esme' Sedai**

**The Greymalkin: Well, since I have never been to Britain, I can't know just what they would say. If you wish to give me some tips on that, that's fine, but otherwise it will remain the way it is. You are the only person who has complained about the American-ness of this fic, but I'm willing to make some changes if you're willing to point out the 'americanisms' you don't like. As for me, I don't notice the 'americanisms' because it's just natural to me.**

**CogniDi: I'm glad you had fun on your holiday. I could have made the het scenes more… _detailed_, but I decided that I didn't want to squick my dear slashy fans, so I refrained. Hehehe.**


	21. Fate Will Keep Them Together

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**Fate Will Keep Them Together**

**ONE**

Harry turned when he felt Professor Snape touch his arm. He wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in those long arms, feeling the strength and protection of Professor Snape's body. He knew he couldn't hope for more from a man with such strong convictions, but being sent away was torture. He was very pleasantly surprised when the professor pulled him into a fierce kiss.

The shock of power was incredible as Harry slipped his tongue into his professor's mouth, tasting the wonderful essence of the man he now knew he could never live without, no matter what. All of his pain and guilt melted away in the strong feelings of magic and caring that were rolling through his body in waves. He gasped when Professor Snape broke the kiss only to move across Harry's face and down his neck, increasing the feeling of magic and power, causing it to spread across his skin like an electric shock. Harry reached his hands up, tangling them in his professor's silky locks.

"God, Sev'rus, what is that?" he asked breathlessly, unconsciously using Professor Snape's first name.

Professor Snape grunted in reply as he unbuttoned Harry's robe and shirt to get at the skin underneath. "Incredible," the man muttered, trailing kisses down the small portion of Harry's chest that was visible. He tugged gently, pulling Harry clumsily across the room and into his bedroom.

"More," Harry whispered hoarsely, desperately wanting to feel more of Professor Snape's skin.

The professor made quick work of Harry's robe and shirt, tossing them aside carelessly as the two fell onto the bed, Snape on top. Harry's body felt like one big magical siphon as the professor trailed kisses all the way down his torso and began to tongue fuck his belly button. Harry gasped at the sensation, arching his back into Professor Snape's mouth. Harry tugged on the man's shoulders, bringing him back up to kiss his mouth again. As they kissed, Harry began to release the buttons on Professor Snape's outer robes, only to be confronted with the man's inner robes. "Too many buttons," he complained, beginning to work on the inner robes as well. Once he reached skin, he relished in touching it, eliciting gasps from his professor.

"Merlin, that's amazing!" Professor Snape gasped, pushing himself closer to Harry's already electrified body, sending ripples of power and pleasure through Harry's nervous system.

**TWO**

Severus banished the rest of their clothes impatiently, only wanting to be in direct contact with as much of Harry as possible. He felt like a teenager with more hormones that he knew what to do with, but none of his sexual encounters had ever felt anything like this. His whole body was pulsating with magic, Harry's and his own, and it was causing his self-control to dissolve into nothingness. Harry's hands were roaming his body freely, sending shocks through Severus' system. Severus wrapped his arms tightly around Harry as he felt his climax hit him hard, causing him to cry out Harry's name.

Harry hit his climax at the same time, gripping Severus to him tightly, moaning in pleasure as their seed mixed together on their stomachs, neither of their erections having been touched during the encounter.

As they lay in each other's arms catching their breath, Harry spoke softly.

"That was… incredible," he panted. "I've never felt anything like that before."

Severus nodded, unable and unwilling to speak, fearing his voice would not cooperate with him. He knew without a doubt that he needed Harry, but he also knew that he couldn't have the youth. What they had just done was against everything he believed yet he could not make himself feel sorry for it. What he felt sorry about was what he was going to have to do to Harry come morning. This could not go on, and he only hoped that Harry would be able to forgive him.

Severus pulled on his silk pajamas and then lay next to Harry again. The fabric cut off the intense feeling of magic created by skin-to-skin contact, allowing Severus' fogged brain to resume normal functions.

"Professor Snape?" Harry asked gently, sounding exhausted.

"Shh," Severus said. "Sleep now, Harry. We'll talk in the morning." They fell asleep together, and for the first time in a long while, Severus did not have nightmares.

**THREE**

Draco was woken up by the sounds of labored breathing drifting into his bedroom. He thought perhaps that Snape was injured, so he went to investigate. The noises were coming from Snape's bedroom, which had the door slightly ajar, causing Draco to believe that it might have been a nightmare causing Snape's distress. He froze when he heard Potter's voice drifting through the open door.

"More," Potter whispered throatily. Intrigued, Draco moved to have a peek into the room, wondering what could possibly make Potter sound so wanton. What he saw made him open his eyes wide in surprise.

Potter was on his back on Snape's bed, with Snape laying over him, kissing every inch of skin he could find. Potter's hands were tangled in Snape's hair, and Potter was mewling and breathing heavily as Snape explored his body.

When Draco got over his shock, he gently closed the door, so as not to alert the two lovers of his presence, and the sound of their lovemaking was instantly cut off by the silencing charms on Snape's room.

"I never would have seen _that_ coming," Draco said to himself as he moved back to his bedroom. "Who'd have thought? Snape and Potter." He shook his head in bemusement.

**FOUR**

Draco woke the next morning to the sound of fighting.

"How can you say that?" Potter was yelling. "How can you sit there and tell me that last night meant nothing to you?"

"Last night was a mistake that shan't be repeated," Snape replied coolly.

"Why was it a mistake?" Potter asked.

"You are nothing more than a child, Harry, and it was wrong for me to…"

Snape never finished his sentence, for at that moment the sound of flesh hitting flesh rang through the room, causing Draco to flinch. He'd been on the receiving end of Potter's anger before, and he didn't envy Snape the experience.

"Bastard," Potter said coldly. "Heartless, soulless bastard." Draco heard footsteps, and then the sound of a door slamming. After a few minutes, he thought it would be safe to enter the room.

**FIVE**

Severus leaned against the table, his head in his hands, and berated himself for being an idiot. _'Maybe I really don't have a heart or soul. If that were true, I wouldn't hurt as much as I do right now. Gods, why do I do these things to myself?'_

"Professor Snape?" Draco said gently behind him. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," Severus replied shortly.

"You shouldn't have done that, you know," Draco commented, seating himself across from Severus. "It wasn't right."

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked, unsure of whether he should be having this discussion with a student. _'What difference does that make now? I've slept with a student, why not get advice from one as well?'_

"It was difficult to ignore the two of you yelling at each other in here," Draco replied. "Why did you do that?"

"I did what I had to do," Severus said miserably.

"To what? To ruin his life for the rest of time?" Draco asked. Severus stared as Draco rolled his eyes irritably. "You really are dense sometimes, did you know that? All Potter wants is a chance to be happy. Do you really think that rejecting him now, after all that's happened to him in the last year and a half, is the best way to keep him around?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Severus muttered.

"Oh, I'm sure you don't. The next time you don't want me to hear your arguments, maybe you should conduct them in your bedroom. I'm sure the silencing charms will keep me from hearing them."

Severus' eyes snapped up to look at Draco fully. "How do you know about that?"

Draco smirked at him. "I'm in my sixth year, Professor! I can recognize the magical signature of a silencing charm. Besides, I came to the conclusion last night when I closed your bedroom door while you were busy attacking Potter's body on your bed."

Severus closed his eyes slowly, turning away from his student in shame. "I see," he said.

"Oh, relax," Draco admonished. "I'm not going to _tell_ anyone. I will tell you this; throwing him out of here that way is only going to make things worse. I know you better than you know yourself, I think, and I know that you wouldn't have been with him last night if you didn't care for him. Father told me that you used to date one of the Death Eaters. He said you were with him for almost twenty years, without fail. Father also said that you never shared your Vents, and you never 'borrowed' someone else's. How could you think that I would believe you would just shag Potter without caring for him? You're an idiot if you think I'd believe _that_."

"I don't see how it's your business," Severus said, though the statement was lacking bite.

"I consider Potter a friend," Draco said sharply. "He's only looking for someone to accept him and care for him unconditionally. He's not looking for some random sex, and he definitely _is not_ a child. If it had been me, I would have done worse than just slap you. By the way, you might want to do something about that bruise on your cheek."

Severus lifted his hand to his face. "It was for the best," he muttered.

Draco snorted at him. "I doubt that, but what do I know? It's not like you just crushed his heart or anything." Draco stood up, lifting his bag from the floor. "I have classes. Good day, sir." He left Severus dumbfounded, wondering what that last comment was supposed to mean.

**SIX**

Harry ambled into the Gryffindor common room, throwing himself onto the couch in front of the fire. He couldn't believe that Snape had done such a thing to him. He sighed heavily, wondering how he had allowed himself to be sucked in by another Slytherin. Hadn't he learned his lesson with Blaise? Apparently not.

"Harry?" Hermione asked gently, sitting next to him. "Are you all right?"

"Fine."

"Something's bothering you. I can tell."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Is it Snape?"

Harry turned to look at her, sighing as he did so. "Sort of."

"What did he do now? I assume he let you stay last night."

"He was being an ass, that's all. Back to the Snape we all know and… well, know at any rate."

Hermione chuckled lightly. "You can't expect anything else from him, can you?"

"I suppose I can't," Harry replied solemnly.

"What happened, Harry?"

"Do you ever wonder if perhaps I wasn't meant to have happiness? It just seems like it's too much to ask that I have something good in my life. Every time I find something that makes me feel good, it's ripped away from me. I don't understand why I have to suffer so much. What did I do to deserve this fate?"

"You don't deserve this, Harry." Hermione gently placed her hand on Harry's arm. "Whatever happened, or happens in the future, know that Ron and I will always be here for you. You'll never get rid of us, you know."

Harry smiled sadly at her, placing his hand over hers. "I know. Thanks."

Hermione returned his smile before standing. "We're going to be late if we don't hurry."

Harry nodded, going up to the dormitory to retrieve his books before joining Ron and Hermione at the portrait hole.

**SEVEN**

The week was not going well. Harry could hardly sleep at night due to nightmares, he couldn't concentrate in his classes because he was so tired, and now he could feel Snape watching him during lunch. "I feel like shit," Harry muttered, pushing his potatoes around his plate restlessly.

"Such language, Potter," Malfoy said across from him. "A gentleman would never use such a word."

"Oh yeah?" Harry asked, glaring at the blonde. "And just who told you that I was a gentleman? I. Feel. Like. Shit." He stood from the table slowly, his vision going slightly fuzzy before he could begin his retreat from the Hall.

"Maybe you should see the nurse," Hermione suggested tentatively.

"I don't need to see the bloody nurse," Harry snapped. "What I _need_ is a full night of sleep." With that, he made his way from the Hall, unaware of the obsidian gaze that sadly followed his progress.

**EIGHT**

Severus sighed as Harry left the Hall. The youth looked worse for wear, causing Severus to wonder if he'd had any sleep at all since their night together. He wondered if Harry was still having nightmares, or if it was more serious than that. He wouldn't put it passed Harry to put silencing and notice-me-not spells around his bed to keep his roommates from worrying.

"Severus, are you quite all right?" Minerva asked, standing behind Severus' chair at the end of the table.

"I am well, Minerva," Severus replied. "Did you need something?"

"You've been rather distracted as of late, Severus. The headmaster and I are worried for you. Has something happened?"

"Nothing for you to concern yourself with, Minerva. I assure you that your concern would best be placed elsewhere."

Minerva sighed, squeezing Severus' shoulder gently. "Very well, Severus. Very well." She moved back to her seat, shaking her head slightly at Dumbledore. Dumbledore glanced briefly at Severus before returning his attention to the Great Hall at large.

**NINE**

Severus was dreaming of Harry and that feeling of magic and trust when a loud pounding at his chamber door awaked him.

"Professor Snape!" someone was calling frantically. From the sound of the voice, Severus was reasonably certain that it was student. "Professor, please come! Professor Snape!"

Severus threw the door open, his best glare in place, to find Granger standing there panting, her fist still raised. "This had better be important, Granger," he snarled.

"It's Harry, Professor!" Granger exclaimed. "He won't stop screaming! Please come!" She turned on her heal without waiting for a reply and began running back toward Gryffindor Severus at her heals.

"How long has he been screaming?" he asked urgently.

"Almost ten minutes, sir," Granger replied. "He's jerking around, scratching himself all over!"

"Have you called for Professor McGonagall?"

"Yes. Madame Pomfrey is there too, but she says that she needs you there." They reached the portrait, Granger yelling the password, and ran up to the boys' dormitory.

"Get out of my way!" Severus barked pushing passed the milling students. Harry's screams were resonating off of the walls in the dorm room. "Weasley, hold his legs!" Severus sat on the edge of the bed, pinning Harry's arms down forcefully. Harry was screaming and writhing uncontrollably, his back arching off of the bed in his attempts to get away from the pain.

"Make it stop!" Weasley cried, straining to keep Harry's legs from kicking. "He can't take anymore! Please, make it stop!"

"There's nothing I can do, Weasley!" Severus snapped irritably. "It has to stop on its own. Keep holding him!"

After what seemed like ages, the screaming finally stopped, but Harry continued to seize violently.

"Give him this, Severus!" Poppy exclaimed, pushing a potion into Severus' hands. Severus didn't even bother the check what it was, trusting Poppy's knowledge, and sat himself behind Harry to force the potion into the teen. A moment later the seizure stopped, along with Harry's breathing.

"Lay him down flat!" Poppy ordered, moving beside the bed. "Do you remember what to do, Severus?"

Severus nodded sharply, tilting Harry's head back in preparation for Poppy's breathing technique.

"One, two, three, four, five, breathe!" Poppy cried as she began compressing Harry's chest. Severus breathed out into Harry's mouth, praying that it would be enough this time.

"Harry!" Granger cried in the background, her voice choked with emotion.

"Breathe!" Poppy cried again. After several minutes, when Severus was certain that Harry would never wake again, Harry gasped and began coughing violently. Poppy fell back, sitting on the next bed. "Thank the gods!" she exclaimed.

"What do we do now, Poppy?" Severus asked, watching as Harry's hands shook slightly, though the teen was still unconscious.

"We need to get him back to your rooms so that I can administer the proper care," Poppy replied.

"Wouldn't he be better off in the infirmary?" Severus asked uncertainly.

"No," Poppy said. "It makes no difference now. I want him where he can be comfortable and away from prying eyes. It's best to put him in surroundings he's comfortable with."

Severus nodded sharply, lifting Harry into his arms. He moved briskly through the castle, careful not to jostle the precious cargo in his arms. Once he had Harry settled, he turned sad eyes onto Hogwarts' resident Medi-witch. "Will he be all right this time, Poppy?"

"I don't know, Severus," Poppy replied sadly. "I need to check him over to be sure, but I think there's nerve damage. I'll see what I can do, but I'm not sure I'll be able to reverse all of it."

Severus nodded sadly, knowing that Harry had already been through more than most people lived to tell about. He sat in his chair to wait as Poppy began her medical scans on Harry's body.

**TEN**

Harry groaned as pain assaulted his senses. Almost instantly, there was a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"Are you in pain, Harry?" Professor Snape's voice asked gently.

Harry nodded. "Please make it stop," he pleaded. Pain shot through him as Snape sat him up but was gone almost at once when Harry swallowed the potion Snape gave him.

"Better?" Snape asked softly.

"Yes, thank you," Harry replied sleepily. Snape lay him back down, and Harry promptly flipped onto his stomach. Several minutes later, he felt Snape's hand on his shoulder, the familiar magic soothing his damaged nerves.

"I'm so sorry, Harry," Snape said softly. "I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to keep you safe. I only wish I had the courage to tell you while you were awake." Harry felt Snape's cheek resting against his own. "Don't ever scare me that way again," the man whispered. "I almost lost you tonight." As he started to move away, Harry felt a panic rise within him.

"Please don't go," he muttered quickly. The receding hand paused on his shoulder.

"Harry?" Snape asked uncertainly.

"Just stay with me," Harry pleaded. "Please?" He wasn't going to beg though, so when he felt the contact disappear he said nothing. After a moment, a half-naked Severus Snape slipped under the covers with him, the magic soothing him greatly.

"Sleep now, my Harry," Snape whispered. "You need to rest."

"Sev'rus?" Harry asked after a moment.

"Yes, Harry?" Snape replied.

"Thank you," Harry murmured, closing his eyes. Snape said nothing, pulling Harry closer before falling asleep himself.

**ELEVEN**

Draco was extremely worried when Snape didn't emerge from Potter's room, so he went to check on them. When he opened the door, he found Snape and Potter wrapped around each other, both sound asleep. He smiled slightly as he closed the door, moving to sit on Potter's couch to make sure no one interrupted the two. After a while, Granger came in.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," Draco muttered softly, attracting his girlfriend's attention.

"Why not?" Granger asked softly, but she sat next to Draco nonetheless.

"He's sleeping for once," Draco replied, pulling her to his chest gently and running his hand through her hair. "You wouldn't want to wake him, would you?"

Granger began to cry gently against Draco's chest. "It was so frightening to see that, Malfoy," she cried. "He just wouldn't stop screaming! Oh God, why Harry? Why does everything have to happen to him?"

"Shh, my love," Draco cooed gently. "He'll be all right now. Snape knows how to help him."

"They had to do CPR on him," Granger cried. "I've never seen it done before. I thought he would die!"

"What's CPR?" Draco asked.

Granger chuckled lightly, sitting up to look Draco in the eye. "You're hopeless, you know that?" she said.

"Yes, but that's why you love me," Draco replied. He sat back as Granger began to explain the Muggle procedure to him, and he found himself amazed at the insight it must have taken to create such a thing. After quite some time, Granger fell asleep safely ensconced in Draco's arms. A while after she'd fallen asleep, Snape came out of the bedroom.

"Have you slept?" he asked Draco quietly, moving to the chair next to the sofa.

Draco shook his head. "Wasn't sleepy," he said. "You should really be more careful. If I hadn't been here, Granger would have seen you."

"I know," Snape sighed. "It's just… it's difficult to explain. I lose myself in him sometimes."

Draco thought of the magic that flowed between Granger and him when they touched skin to skin, and thought that he understood. "I know what you mean, sir."

Snape eyed the couple critically before saying, "I'm sure that you do." He rose from his seat, stretching his back and he did so, and proceeded to his sitting room. "I only got up for some water," he explained.

Draco pulled Granger tighter against him, thinking of what it would feel like to lose her. He didn't like the idea at all.

"You should try to get some sleep," Snape said as he returned, pausing at the bedroom door. "It wouldn't do for you to be sleepy in class tomorrow."

"I'll try sir," Draco replied. "Good night."

"Good night, Draco," Snape said. He moved into the room, closing the door gently behind him. After a few more minutes, Draco too drifted to sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this chapter. Thanks also to…**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Quixotic-hope: Did I spell it right? I couldn't tell what the first letter was. Harry's reaction wasn't the one to worry about, unfortunately. Don't you just love Severus, even when he's being stupid? He's just so cute. Hehehehehe**

**Dracosbaby08**

**Kears: Thank you. No, it's not a figure of speech, but it will be explained later in the story… eventually.**

**Hikari-Aoi**

**Mariana: I'm glad you feel that way. More on the way!**

**Ktoddhim**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe**

**Pure Black: He tried, but was we saw, it didn't work.**

**Itsasledgehammer**

**CogniDi: I wish that I could say I really do write this fast, but unfortunately, I do not. I finished this story over a year ago, but it took me nearly eight months to write. I had it all posted, then I deleted everything, so now I'm reposting. Works great for you guys, though. LOL**

**Sh'arra Rie: There are 32 chapters total, love.**

**Ruth**

**Chibi-Kaisie: Remus is hurting and doesn't want to see Harry in case he says something he'll later regret.**

**Renestra-Karay: I quite agree with that assessment, but someone has to do it, right? I figured I'd give myself a challenge with it, though it's terribly indirect. Hehehehe**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Athena Iris**

**Thana: I'm glad to hear that.**


	22. The Spellweaver

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**The Spellweaver**

**ONE**

Severus woke with a sigh the next morning, feeling warm and comfortable listening to Harry's steady breathing. He gently disentangled himself from Harry's limbs to go to the kitchen and retrieve some breakfast for them both, hoping that Harry would be able to eat after the terrible episode the previous night. He stalked down the corridor into his own rooms, pausing briefly to study the two students still sleeping on Harry's couch. They looked comfortable together, though Granger's eyes were drawn with worry, even in the grips of deep sleep.

Half an hour later found Severus in his chair by Harry's bed, eating a bowl of porridge slowly, watching for the signs of waking from the young man. Several minutes later, bleary green eyes opened slowly to bless Severus with their depths of trust and caring.

"Morning," Harry said softly, blinking slowly as he came back to the land of the living.

"How are you?" Severus asked gently, setting his porridge on the nightstand.

"I hurt a little," Harry replied, "but not as much as usual. Thank you."

Severus blinked in surprise. "For what?"

"For staying with me. It really helped, you know?" Harry stretched languidly, moaning a bit at the sensation. Severus stared in awe at the sexy young man before him.

"I brought you some porridge," Severus said, picking up the bowl. "If you're hungry." Severus was uncertain whether his behavior had been forgiven, but it looked promising.

Harry sat slowly, grimacing a bit as he did so. "Yes please," he said, reaching for the bowl. "I'm famished." He grinned a bit, melting Severus' heart instantly. Severus passed the food silently, watching as Harry relished every bite, so unlike most of his peers.

After Harry had finished his breakfast, Severus said, "I feel we have some things to discuss."

Harry sighed, setting his bowl aside gently. "I'm listening," he said resignedly.

"I admit that my behavior towards you was… less than honorable, and for that I am sorry," Severus began, holding up a hand to forestall the argument he saw coming. "But our situation is very much forbidden by every person who could possibly make things difficult for us, including Professor Dumbledore. If we are to be… involved, it will require a great deal of discretion. From both of us."

Harry nodded. "I understand."

Severus shook his head slowly, looking down at his clasped hands resting in his lap. "You are so young, and I am everything you should not want in a partner, yet here we are. I could lose my job over this."

"I would come with you."

"You cannot sacrifice your education for me."

"You could teach me. I don't have to be _at_ Hogwarts to take my N.E.W.T.s, and they only snap your wand if you've been expelled."

"How do you know that?"

"Fred and George. If you go, I go with you."

"It will not be easy to carry on a clandestine relationship within Hogwarts' walls. You understand, of course…"

"You're making my head hurt," Harry interrupted, rubbing his temples as though to prove his point. "I understand all of that, and I don't care. All I've ever known, for fifteen years, is pain, hurt, sadness, guilt, fear and anger. Chances are that I won't live to see graduation day, much less grow old. All I want is to know what happiness feels like, if only for a small while, before I die. I _know_ you and I could be happy together, whatever the obstacles, if only you could put aside your inhibitions and follow your heart. Don't push me aside in a misguided attempt to do what's right by me, because I know what I want, and I know that you want it too."

Severus swallowed thickly amazed and saddened at the maturity that Harry had been forced to grow to by the unfortunate circumstances of his life. "I will try," he muttered.

"That's all I ask," Harry replied gently, holding his hand out in silent invitation.

Severus stood slowly, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, holding Harry's hand gently in his own, wondering of Harry would ever know the precious gift he'd given Severus. He hadn't looked up yet, but did so when he felt Harry's soft lips on the back of his hand. "You don't have to be nervous with me," Harry muttered.

Severus swallowed the reply he had on the tip of his tongue, choosing to lean forward and kiss Harry instead. The kiss soon became heated as the magic sizzled between them, leaving them both breathless and undeniably aroused. Severus pulled back, removing his wand from his robes.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked, watching with slight apprehension.

Severus smirked wickedly. "Warding the door," he replied silkily, putting silencing charms and alarms on the door before casting his wand aside to return his attention to Harry's pale neck. He forced himself to move slowly across Harry's skin, unwilling to repeat the events of the previous week. His dexterous fingers slowly undid the buttons on Harry's pajama shirt, showering the exposed flesh with licks, kisses and loving nips, relishing all the while in the quiet sounds of pleasure coming from his lover. "So responsive," he whispered, taking one exposed nipple into his mouth, causing Harry to arch his back pleasantly. "And sensitive," he added thoughtfully, turning his attention to the other nipple.

"That is so incredible," Harry rasped, fisting one hand in Severus' hair, the other in the sheets.

Severus smirked, continuing his slow path down Harry's torso, tongue fucking the belly button slowly, listening to Harry's gasps appreciatively. As he reached the waistband of Harry's pajama bottoms, he looked up to see a nod of approval from the teen. He hooked his fingers under the elastic, gently pulling the material down to expose Harry's straining erection. "No underwear," Severus muttered. "Naughty Gryffindor." Having Harry exposed in all of his naked glory on the bed, Severus began kissing his way back up Harry's body, repeating all of his previous actions. As he reached Harry's chest again, he felt hands tugging on his shoulders to pull him up into another searing kiss, losing himself in the taste of Harry's mouth. He awkwardly moved a hand back to remove the vial of oil he'd brought with him, thinking Harry might have wanted another massage.

"What… are you doing?" Harry gasped as he placed kisses on Severus' long neck.

"Oil," Severus replied, half thinking, as he placed the vial on the nightstand.

Harry's head snapped back, taking in Severus' flushed face. "Were you making wicked plans behind my back?" he asked playfully.

Severus could hardly think through the barrage of magic and pleasure rolling through his body, but he somehow managed to decipher Harry's meaning. "Hardly," he replied, diving in to kiss Harry passionately once again. He soon found Harry's hands working on his buttons and heard the familiar murmur of 'too many buttons' once again. Severus reached down to help Harry with his many buttons, saying, "If I had been planning _this_ I certainly would have chosen attire with less buttons."

"Shut up," Harry replied, pummeling Severus' mouth again with his tongue. Harry slid the material of Severus' robes from the man's shoulders, lavishing attention on the exposed joint. He licked his way to Severus' neck, biting a little on Severus' jugular vein.

"No marks," Severus warned half-heartedly.

"I know," Harry replied, continuing to kiss down Severus' neck. Severus ran his hand down the length of Harry's body, curling his hand around Harry's pulsating erection. "No," Harry said, placing his hand over Severus' to still the motion.

Severus lifted his head to look Harry in the eyes, a question on his features. "No?" he asked.

Harry opened his legs, wrapping one loosely around Severus' calf. "I want you to make love to me," Harry whispered.

Severus stared at Harry, knowing for certain that Harry had never done this before, but also knowing that Harry wanted this to happen. Even so, he asked, "Are you certain?"

_**SNIP! SNIP! EDITED FOR NC-17 CONTENT!**_

Harry nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Severus'. "I'm sure."

"That… was incredible," Severus said, catching his breath.

"It was," Harry agreed. "Thank you, Sev'rus."

Severus placed a soft kiss on the top of Harry's head, smiling at the way Harry always cut out the middle syllable of his name. They both drifted to sleep, neither noticing the swirling of sapphire and violet around their bodies.

**TWO**

Severus woke some time later, casting a cleaning charm before settling to enjoy the closeness and warmth of Harry's body pressed tight against him. After some time, Severus gently disengaged himself from the embrace to head to the loo. Harry woke, blinking away the grogginess.

"Where are you going?" he asked sleepily.

"The loo," Severus replied. He knelt beside the cabinet, retrieved the Curse Blocking Potion, and sat back down on the bed. "Drink this."

"I'm doing my Occlumency," Harry replied, sitting up nonetheless. He drank the potion down, pulling a face at the flavor. "That stuff is rancid."

"Your Occlumency doesn't seem to be enough when the Dark Lord is in a foul mood," Severus said gently. "I think it would be prudent to do both."

"Okay," Harry said, watching as Severus made his way to the bathroom.

Severus was splashing water on his face thinking _'It would be nice to shower with Harry,' _when he heard Harry call for him sounding panicked.

"Sev'rus! He's… he's up to something!"

Severus was at Harry's side in a moment, holding the teen's hand.

"This ones going to be bad," Harry muttered, holding his scar in pain. Severus changed positions, placing himself behind Harry to hold the teen through the vision.

"I'm staying right here, Harry," Severus assured, placing his hands around Harry's waist to hold his arms down. "Scream if you must. I won't think any less of you."

Just as he was going to reply, Harry pushed back against Severus as his body tensed up with pain. He whimpered painfully, his arms straining against Severus' tight grip. He struggled against the hold, whimpering in pain, holding in his screams as best he could.

"Let it out, Harry," Severus advised gently. "You could hurt yourself more by not screaming."

Harry shook his head violently as spasms wracked his body. One arm came loose as Harry gripped Severus tightly, his nails biting into the flesh, drawing blood.

"Stop fighting it," Severus said. "You'll make it worse."

Harry shook his head again, still whimpering and convulsing violently.

"Please, Harry," Severus begged. "The spells are still up. No one will hear but me."

The convulsions grew more violent and Harry opened his mouth, screaming so loudly that Severus thought he might go deaf. The screams echoed off of the walls, reverberating around the room in a demented song of suffering. Harry kicked and writhed, screaming all the while in desperate, futile attempts to escape from his invisible attacker. It occurred to Severus that the Dark Lord must be very angry about something for the curses to break through the Curse Blocking Potion and Harry's Occlumency skills.

After nearly a half hour, Harry's screams turned to pained whimpers as Harry's body finally stopped convulsing. Severus held Harry close, offering as much comfort as he could, feeling helpless at his inability to do more. He could tell that Harry was having difficulty breathing, making him decide to find Poppy.

"I need to get the nurse," he said gently.

"Please don't leave me," Harry whimpered.

"I'll only be gone a moment," Severus assured. "You need medical attention more proficient than my own." He gently eased out from behind Harry, amidst strong protests from his lover, lowering Harry to the bed carefully. He spelled their clothes back on before quickly heading to fireplace to contact Poppy.

"What is it Severus?" Poppy asked as she emerged from the fireplace.

"Harry's had another vision," Severus replied, moving back toward the bedroom. "He's having trouble breathing." Poppy followed closely behind him as they entered the room. Harry was whimpering on the bed, doing his best to avoid moving due to the pain. Severus sat in his chair, moving it closer to the bed so he could take Harry's hand.

"I need to examine him," Poppy stated sharply, meaning that she wanted Severus to leave.

"I'm not leaving him," Severus replied, stroking the back of Harry's hand with his thumb.

"Severus," Poppy began to scold.

"Please let him stay," Harry rasped from the bed tiredly. Poppy looked from Harry to Severus to their clasped hands before heaving a loud sigh. She performed a complicated scanning charm, watching the numbers and images in the air closely.

"I need a sedative," she said quickly.

Severus raised his wand saying, "Accio Sedative!" without moving from his position. The yellow potion flew into Severus' outstretched hand, and he promptly handed it over to Poppy.

Poppy sat on the edge of the bed to stroke Harry's hair softly. "Your lungs have been damaged, love," she said gently. "I'm going to have to fix it. I want you to drink this potion and leave the rest to me. I promise that you'll be fine."

"Okay," Harry replied weakly. Severus helped him into a sitting position so that he could drink the potion, which promptly sent him into unconsciousness.

"Surgery, Poppy?" Severus asked nervously, lowering Harry to the bed. "Are you sure there's no other way?"

"I wouldn't have suggested it if there were," Poppy replied irritably. Severus watched as she opened a window in the air, displaying Harry's damaged lungs. She diligently worked her magic, manipulating the organs carefully until they were no longer bleeding, before placing Harry into a mild healing sleep. "He should wake up tomorrow. I don't want him moving around too much, and I'll be back later to put a nutrient I.V. into his arm. He can't sit up to eat and he can't walk to go to the bathroom, so I'll supply him with a catheter as well. Make sure he doesn't dislodge it."

Severus nodded silently as Poppy left the room, casting one more look over her shoulder to observe the silent man. Severus sat quietly for a long time, watching Harry sleep, hoping that everything would be okay. He couldn't stop watching Harry's shaking hands, wondering how much more the youth's body could take.

**THREE**

The next day found Harry complaining weakly about his inability to move. Severus resisted his urge to make Harry happy, knowing it would do more harm than good.

"Turn me on my stomach," Harry whimpered around noon.

"Harry, you know I can't move you," Severus replied sternly.

"Please," Harry gasped. "It's important."

Severus sighed, reluctantly granting Harry's wish, horrified to see blood blossoming across the material of Harry's nightshirt.

"Take my shirt off," Harry pleaded.

"I can't lift you up," Severus replied helplessly, at a loss.

"Tear it!" Harry ground out through clenched teeth as a fresh line of blood began seeping through the shirt. Severus ripped the shirt as gently as possible, just as a fresh cut appeared on Harry's back.

"What's happening?" Severus asked apprehensively.

"It's… ah! It's a spell," Harry gasped, another deep gash appearing in his flesh. He jerked a bit with each fresh cut, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and gripping the sheets in one fist and Severus' hand in the other. The lashing lasted for almost fifteen minutes before fresh gashes stopped appearing on Harry's back. Severus quickly retrieved Poppy.

Several spells and many nasty scars later, Poppy sighed heavily, seating herself next to Harry. "The wounds were resistant to magical healing, love," she informed him. "I'm afraid it left scars."

Harry nodded. "At least it doesn't hurt so much any more," he muttered.

The torture didn't let up there. Harry was affected by a new curse every day, including three bouts of Cruciatus, two Dismemberment curses, four Avada Kedavras, and two more bouts of lashing.

Severus was pacing his sitting room restlessly that Friday, thinking of the dying teen a few doors away. Harry was currently under another magic induced sleep after his third surgery of the week. Severus could feel the impending doom sneaking up on him like a trap door spider awaiting its prey.

"Are you all right, Professor Snape?" Draco asked as he entered the room from the corridor.

"Fine," Severus replied shortly, continuing to pace.

"Pacing back and forth, wearing a hole through the floor isn't going to help Potter, you know," Draco informed him.

"You think I don't know that!" Severus snapped. "Nothing helps!" He dropped onto his couch, resting his face in his hands, rubbing at his temples irritably.

"What's going on, anyway?" Draco asked. "Nobody tells us anything."

"We do not wish to worry you," Severus replied.

"You think not knowing helps? I want to know."

Severus shrugged without replying.

Draco sighed audibly. "You need to sleep," he said. "He's going to be pissed when he finds out that you haven't been taking care of yourself."

"Sleep doesn't help. I can't sleep. I can't do anything but worry. He lies in there dying, with me unable to help him. The potion doesn't work. Occlumency doesn't work. I could try to create a stronger potion, but he'll be long dead before I could brew it. He's had three surgeries already, but nothing helps. Poppy is trying her best, but this is beyond all of us, and I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do but wait for the inevitable."

Draco stood dumbfounded, unable to say anything to such terrible revelations about his new friend. As Severus began to regret saying such things to Draco, a strong feeling of dread settled over his heart, causing him to sprint full tilt to Harry's side. Harry was shaking on the bed, in the throws of another terrible vision.

Severus placed himself behind Harry, holding the teen tightly to prevent him from causing himself more harm. Harry was jerking back against Severus, his face contorted with his silent screams, his voice no longer capable of producing the sound but trying nonetheless. Severus brought his hand to Harry's forehead as the famous scar began to bleed, intent on offering comfort where ever he could.

As his hand touched the scar, a strong jolt of magic ran through him, causing him to close his eyes in surprise. Behind his closed eyelids, Severus could see a stream of red, angry magic pulsing around a thread of violet magic. Severus knew without thinking that the red was the unwelcome connection to the Dark Lord that was causing Harry to die helplessly before Severus' eyes. Severus pushed with his own magic, surprised to see a deep sapphire magic appear, weaving itself with the two competing powers. He gently began to deconstruct the Dark Lord's power, removing the link piece by painful piece. After what felt like hours, but in truth was only a moment, the red strain snapped, springing back and out of sight like a rubber band put under too much strain. He dimly felt Harry tense against him before falling limp. He opened his eyes to find that Harry had passed out.

"Harry?" he asked softly, wondering if perhaps this was only because of the healing sleep he had been under when the vision started.

"What just happened?" a stunned voice asked from the door. Severus looked up to find Draco staring in fascination.

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked suspiciously.

"There was all of this blue and purple light," Draco replied. "What was it?"

Severus lowered Harry back to the bed before staring at his hands in disbelief. He'd just manipulated magic by instinct alone. He'd just broken an unbreakable link by deconstructing it. _He_ was the Spellweaver Harry needed to survive. He couldn't believe it had been him all along.

* * *

**Author's Note: If you wish to see the deleted scene, please go to hpfandom . net or ensnared . thehexfiles . net, though ensnared won't be updated until tomorrow at best because they're changed servers. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this chapter. Thanks also to…**

**Hikari-Aoi: Thanks for the plushies!**

**Chibi-Kaisie**

**LeeLeePotter: Hehehehe**

**Ktoddhim**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Hehehehe… whipped cream… yummy…**

**DestinyEntwinements**

**CogniDi: I don't see why you couldn't use contractions in a formal letter, seeing as they are proper words. They make the letter feel more personal. If it's an important matter, then I wouldn't use them, though. It makes you sound more determined if you say 'cannot' instead of 'can't'. To me, at least.**

**Sword and Magic**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Nicky12330**

**Kears**

**Sh'arra Rie: No, you read it right. Snape thought of it as sleeping together because it was still sexual, even if they didn't have intercourse.**

**Quixotic-hope**

**Rosalia: I'm blushing over here, for real.**

**Purplepaper**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Medicated Drama Queen: I was feeling kind of bad the last few days, hence the lack of updates, but I'm doing better again now. My doc wants me to see a specialist. Yuck. Thanks for asking… as for the repeated questions/compliments on how fast I write… I find them amusing. Although, I will admit that sometimes I wish people would read the Author's Notes every once in a while.**

**Jeni: Remus is… a wild card at this point.**

**The Greymalkin: I have not read that one, but I'll be sure to look for it. The title is interesting at the least.**

**Crystal D. Starlit**

**Mariana**

**EmeraldEyed**


	23. The Intimacy of a Name

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**The Intimacy of a Name**

**ONE**

Severus' hands were shaking. He stood by Harry's bed, debating whether he should tell Albus about his discovery. He didn't wish to be taken advantage of, but he also knew that having a Spellweaver on the staff would greatly increase the safety of the school. His first order of business should be to tell Albus the truth about his power, and then to strengthen the wards around the school. As a Spellweaver, such a task should not prove to be much of a challenge.

"Draco!" Severus called as he exited Harry's room. Draco had gone back to his room to wait, unable to deal with Severus' surprise.

"Sir?" Draco asked, tentatively coming out of his room.

"Stay with Harry," Severus told the blonde. "I'm going to see the headmaster."

"Yes sir," Draco replied, moving into Harry's room without further comment.

Severus walked briskly to the headmaster's office, his robes billowing behind him in an irritated manner. Students parted before him like the Red Sea, unwilling to become victim to the Potion Master's vengeful wrath. Severus snapped at a Hufflepuff who dared to remain in his path, deducting points for the student's 'slothfulness' in moving. He entered Albus' office without knocking.

"I need to speak with you," he said, pacing the room, attempting to stop the movement of his still shaking hands. "Something's happened."

"Sit down, dear boy," Albus replied with worry. "Tell me. Has something gone wrong with Harry?"

"No, it's not about Potter," Severus said sharply. "It's about _me_. I have something I _must_ tell you." Severus sat heavily in an overstuffed chair in blue with hideous stars adorning it.

"Would you like some tea?" Albus asked.

"What?" Severus responded sharply, caught off guard by the offer. "I bloody well would _not_! Are you not listening to me? This is important!"

"Go on," Albus said, popping a sherbet lemon into his mouth. "I am listening, dear boy."

Severus gritted his teeth in irritation. "Potter had another vision this afternoon," he began, wringing his hands in his lap. "I held him close to prevent him from harming himself. He couldn't scream because his voice has been so heavily damaged already. After a few moments, his scar began to bleed so I… covered it. I was trying to help. To comfort him somehow, no matter how futile the attempt seemed. When my hand touched the scar, I could _feel_ the magic and the hurt, as though I was the one causing it. I closed my eyes, surprised to find that I could _see_ the threads of magic, the Dark Lord's a glowing, pulsating red surrounding Harry's soft, comforting violet, choking it; manipulating it. I wanted to help; to stop the pain, the torture. I pushed with my magic, seeing it as it… attacked the Dark Lord's. I deconstructed the strain. I believe… I _know_ I severed the bond. Harry stopped struggling immediately."

"Is he awake?" Albus asked.

"No, he was under a healing sleep spell when it started."

"Then he shall be very well rested indeed."

"Have you heard a word I've said to you? I _manipulated_ the Dark Lord's magic! I _broke _a bond that was supposed to be unbreakable! Don't you understand what this means?"

"Of course I do, Severus. Are you sure you wouldn't like some tea? It may calm your nerves."

"Damn it, you barmy old man! I do not want tea! How can you think of tea when I'm telling you that I am a Spellweaver!"

"It was merely a thought. Calm yourself, Severus, before you have an aneurysm."

Severus took several deep breaths, willing his temper down, knowing that Albus never responded well to bad tempers.

"I am surprised at this revelation," Albus stated. "It is strange for such an ability to show up so late in life. How did this happen?"

"I took the Mark when I was sixteen. Ha – Potter believes that it was blocking my magic somehow. I think… I must have been close to my majority when I took the Mark. This would have shown up sooner if I had never joined the Death Eaters."

"An interesting theory. You realize, of course, what this means."

"How could I not? I am telling you so that we can strengthen the wards on this school. I hate feeling useless, and now I find that I have an ability that could make all the difference in the world. It would be wrong not to use it. I _must_ help where I can. It is important to the outcome of this war." He fell silent as a terrible thought occurred to him. "Do you think that I did the right thing in severing the bond?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"What if… what if I weakened him somehow? What if he's not as powerful as he was because of the loss of that link?"

"Severus, my boy, you took the only choice available to you at the time. If you had not severed the bond, Harry would most definitely have died from the amount of torture he was being forced to endure. A weakened Harry is more desirable than having him dead. We all care for his safety, you more so than others, I think."

Severus nodded, feeling relieved that Albus thought he'd done the right thing by Harry. He stood to leave, wanting to be there when Harry woke.

"Where are you off to?" Albus asked.

"To return to my vigil," Severus replied.

"You remember what I told you, do you not?"

Severus turned to level a glare on the headmaster. "How could I forget?" he spat.

"You realize that I am only thinking of Harry's well-being."

"How dare you presume that I would _ever_ hurt that child? I am a man of honor! I care nothing for your opinion on the matter! I will stay by him and make certain that he returns to perfect health!"

"You know the rules of this school. They are in place for the student's safety, as well as the integrity of the staff."

Severus gave one last fierce glare before leaving the office, feeling the rift forming between the headmaster and him. It was worse now, because he was doing just what Albus was telling him not to, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Harry needed him, and damn it all, Severus needed Harry just as much.

**TWO**

"Severus, Molly is starting to wonder," Albus said, laying a gentle hand on Severus' shoulder. "She wishes to see him."

"Let her wonder," Severus replied. "I am not leaving him."

"Severus, it is unwise for you carry on like this over a student. It may suggest favoritism on your part."

"Yes, Albus. It is favoritism to stand vigil at the side of a student who was placed under my care as he lies in a coma of unknown origin." Severus turned a cold look on the headmaster. "I am not leaving him."

"Severus, it is not your fault that he is in this condition. Surely you understand that?"

"Yes, Albus. I understand perfectly. Now will you leave me be?"

Albus sighed heavily, patting Severus' shoulder. "I'll tell Molly to be patient."

Severus grunted his reply, only half-listening as Albus made a slow retreat. Once the door was closed, Severus took Harry's hand into his own, willing the youth to wake. Harry had not awakened since the night Severus had severed the bond a week before. Severus was worried that he had damaged Harry irreparably. Suddenly he felt a soft squeezing on his fingers, causing him to look up into beautiful albeit tired green eyes.

"Hey," Harry murmured, his voice husky but working.

"Hey yourself," Severus replied. "You've certainly given all of us quite a scare. How do you feel?"

"Light," Harry said softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Like I had something dark, and heavy invading my space all this time, only I didn't notice it until it was gone."

"Any pain?"

Harry shook his head, blinking his eyes sleepily. "No, just a bit tired. Lie with me?"

Severus nodded, warding the door before stripping and climbing into bed, wrapping himself around Harry. He manipulated the wards slightly to allow Draco entrance in case something should come up.

**THREE**

"I want to see him," Granger said sadly. "Why won't they let us see him?"

"I can ask Snape," Draco responded, trying to console his girlfriend.

"Would you?" she responded hopefully, looking up to Draco's eyes.

"Sure," he replied, leading Granger and Weasley to the rooms he shared with Potter and Snape. He led them to Potter's sitting room, telling them he'd only be a moment. He gently pushed open the bedroom door to find Snape and Potter wrapped around each other on the bed, sleeping deeply. He crept inside, gently closing the door before making his way to Snape's side of the bed. He shook the man's shoulder. "Sir?"

Snape opened one bleary obsidian eye and then the other to fix Draco with a curious look. "What is it, Draco?" he asked quietly.

"Granger and Weasley are here," Draco whispered. "They insist on seeing him. What should I tell them?"

Snape considered for a moment before coming to a decision. "Very well. Tell them he's in the shower and will be about ten more minutes."

"Yes, sir," Draco replied, creeping back out of the room. "He's in the shower," he told the two anxious Gryffindors. "Give him a few minutes. Professor Snape will tell us when he's ready."

"Snape's in there _with_ him?" Weasley gaped.

"No, you idiot," Draco replied. "He's in the room listening to make sure Potter doesn't need any help in the shower. Potter's still weak you know."

"Yeah," Weasley muttered, looking embarrassed. "Right."

Granger rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Ron," she said fondly. "You would think you'd learn."

"Yeah, but I do wonder if he's all right. They haven't let us see him for a week! Why won't they tell us what's wrong?"

"I expect they don't want us to worry," Draco replied, sitting next to Granger, placing his arm around her shoulders.

"Don't they know that this silence worries us more?" Granger asked. "I can't stand not knowing!"

"Well, we'll see him soon," Draco comforted.

**FOUR**

Hermione didn't know what to think anymore. What could have possibly happened to Harry to make the professors keep his condition a total secret? The true worry had started when Mrs. Weasley had arrived at the school to temporarily cover Snape's potions classes because Snape was tied up in something important. It hadn't escaped her notice that Harry disappeared around the same time. She hadn't seen him since that terrible night in the dorm room, when Madame Pomfrey and Snape had performed CPR on her friend for nearly five minutes. She had been certain that night that Harry would never see the light of another day, and was surprised at how upset she had been by that thought. Harry was as close as she'd ever get to having a brother, and losing him was the worst thing imaginable.

She was pulled from her depressing thoughts when Snape came out of Harry's bedroom with a sour look on his pale face. "He is still very weak," he said sharply. "You may stay for a few minutes, but not longer."

"Yes, sir," Malfoy replied, helping Hermione to her feet. Snape stood aside as the three friends entered the room to find Harry in bed, his hair damp from his shower. Hermione sat as near to Harry as she could get, surprised to find three chairs at the side of the bed.

"Hi, Harry," she said gently, taking Harry's hand in hers. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Harry replied, "but still tired. I think I'm recovering my magic still."

"Why does your magic need to recover?" Ron asked from his seat next to Hermione. Malfoy had sat at the end, having had access to Harry before this.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know," he said, his eyes drifting closed as he lounged against his huge pile of pillows. "I just feel really drained."

"It is because he is healing," Snape said from his spot in the doorway. He was leaning against the frame in an almost lazy manner, his arms folding over his chest carelessly. "His magic is strained from the amount of injury it has had to overcome. Rest assured, he will be fine shortly."

Hermione stared at the man she had always associated with uncomfortable foreboding, amazed at how _normal_ he looked, leaning against the doorframe like any other might when trying to appear relaxed. "Do you know when he might be able to go back to classes?" she asked meekly.

"I can't say," Snape replied. "Surely, Granger, you know how unpredictable the healing process can be?"

Hermione nodded silently, turning her gaze back to Harry to find him smiling at the Potions Master fondly.

"Stop teasing them, Professor Snape," he said. "I trust they've had enough to worry about without you being all enigmatic about everything."

"I assure you that I am not doing it on purpose," Snape replied. "Would you rather that I sugar coat the truth to make it sound as though you were merely skipping classes rather than having a valid excuse?"

"Of course not, sir," Harry replied. "I wouldn't _dream_ of endangering your reputation in such a manner."

"And what reputation might that be?" Snape asked, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"Why your 'I'm such a scary, greasy git so get out of my way' persona, sir," Harry replied cheekily.

Hermione turned to look at her professor with wide, frightened eyes only to find him chuckling lightly.

"Touché, Potter," he said.

Hermione's mind went into overdrive as she turned to Malfoy only to see him shaking his head in obvious exasperation. What was happening here? Snape was exchanging playful banter with Harry as though they had been friends all their lives. She was certain that if any other student had said such a thing to Snape, they would have found themselves in detention so fast they wouldn't have known what happened, but with Harry, Snape just chuckled. He _chuckled_ for Christ's sake! Hermione hadn't even known the man _could_ chuckle!

"Er," she said hesitantly, looking between Snape and Harry. "We have a lot of homework this week, and I'm sure you want to get back to sleep. We'll come to see you again tomorrow, and I'll bring the assignments you've missed."

"Okay," Harry agreed. "Thanks for stopping by."

"No problem, Harry," Ron said, sounding just as confused as Hermione felt. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Harry replied, closing his eyes again.

**FIVE**

Severus closed the door gently after letting Harry's friends out.

"No more visitors today, Draco," he told the blonde firmly. "Harry's had quite enough."

"Yes, sir," Draco replied, looking for all the world as though he had something on his mind.

"What is it, Draco?" Severus asked, knowing the boy wouldn't just let it go. He _was_ a Slytherin, after all.

"Well," Draco started hesitantly. "I, well, I really don't think you should be so… _open_ with Potter when his friends are around. What if they figure you out? I think Granger already suspects something."

"It's a fine thing for _you_, of all people, to give me advice about my relationships," Severus said coldly, silently agreeing that perhaps he was just a _tad_ careless.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked, his anger flashing in his gray eyes.

"Please," Severus drawled. "You still call your _girlfriend_ by her surname. I can't help but wonder why that is."

"I… it's just comfortable," Draco stammered.

"Perhaps it keeps things from seeming too _real_, hm?" Severus said.

Draco stared at him for a moment before lowering his eyes. "Whatever. Do what you like, then. I'm just trying to keep your little secret for you, but if you're going to flaunt it around like yesterday's news then I won't bother."

Severus hoped that he would knock some sense into the boy, knowing that one cannot achieve true intimacy with one's loved one, if one couldn't even say said loved one's first name. For the life of him, Severus couldn't understand the odd relationship between Draco and the Gryffindor Trio.

Severus returned to Harry's room, pleased to see that Harry was waiting for him.

"Come back to bed," Harry requested. "We can pick up where we left off."

"And where is that?" Severus asked, already slipping out of his robes.

"Sleeping, wrapped up in each other's warmth," Harry replied before yawning widely. His voice was sounding better each time Severus heard him speak.

"That sounds acceptable," he murmured, climbing under the covers and scooping Harry into his arms. Harry nuzzled into Severus' chest, his slow breathing lulling Harry back to sleep. Severus knew that it would be nearly impossible to keep their relationship secret when all he wanted to do was shout to the world that Harry was his, but he knew he had to try; if not for his sake then for Harry's, because they wouldn't be as well protected anywhere as they were at Hogwarts.

'_I love you, Harry,'_ he thought, holding onto his lover tightly. _'I'll be damned if I'm going to let anything else harm you. It is my honor to protect you.'

* * *

_

**Author's Note: Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Ktoddhim**

**Monica85**

**Jujube 15: Hehehehe**

**Rosalia: It would if it could, but then no one else would be able to enjoy it.**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**LeeLeePotter: It makes people more interested in going to the NC-17 sites if they think they're missing something big. I'm just evil that way, I guess.**

**Sliver of Melody**

**EmeraldEyed**

**Chibi-Kaisie: You're making me blush! Thank you!**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**CogniDi: Not a problem, love. The colors are Harry and Severus' auras.**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Dracosbaby08: That's exactly what it means.**

**DestinyEntwinements**

**Hikari-Aoi: I'm blushing because I keep getting all these undeserved compliments. It makes me feel all fuzzy inside.**


	24. Voices in My Head

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

**Voices in My Head**

**ONE**

Harry growled in frustration, throwing the quill onto the table. "I can't do this!" he cried, putting his face in his hands. He'd been trying for the last hour to write his name on a parchment, unable to still the terrible trembling in his hands.

"Perhaps a break is in order," Severus said gently, taking the quill and parchment out of Harry's line of sight. "Surely you didn't expect to conquer this in one day?"

"I shouldn't have to _conquer_ it at all," Harry muttered, rubbing his temples. "I _hate_ that snake-faced bastard!" He felt a gentle had on his shoulder and turned to look at his lover.

"We all hate him, Harry," Severus informed him. "You are stronger than this, and you know it. Have something to eat, read a bit if it relaxes you, and pick this up _later_." He kissed Harry's cheek gently, rubbing his thumb along Harry's jaw.

Harry cast one last frustrated look at the parchment before giving in. "Okay," he said, following Severus to the dining room for a private dinner. Harry wasn't going into the general population of the school until he could control the trembling in his body at least a little bit. He hated that his nerves had suffered so much damage, but knew there was nothing he could do about it but try to work around it. "How am I supposed to catch up on my homework if I can't write anything?" he asked, pushing the food on his plate around dejectedly.

"Eat, Harry," Severus said sternly. "We'll get you a dictator quill until you can write again."

That thought lifted Harry's spirits slightly, so he began to eat his food. Near the end of the almost silent meal, a terrible thought struck Harry. "Sev'rus?" he said hesitantly.

"Yes, Harry?" Severus asked, looking at Harry patiently.

"How will I do magic?" Harry asked. "If I can't aim properly, I'll be a danger to everyone around me." A hand clasped over his gently, causing him to look up into concerned obsidian eyes.

"You will master this," Severus said. "I have faith in your abilities. You must believe in them too."

Harry nodded. "I think I'm going to try again."

Severus sighed. "Very well. Call me if you need anything, like a little reprieve."

Harry smiled at Severus, amused at the annoyed tone the man was using. "I will, Sev'rus." With that, he got up and went to his sitting room to try again.

**TWO**

Hermione entered the room quietly, unwilling to alert the Potions Master to the fact that she knew his password. She crept quietly to Harry's room, finding the boy at his desk, writing very slowly on a parchment.

"Harry?" she asked.

Harry jumped, putting a hand to his heart, and turned a playful glare on her. "Don't _do_ that, Hermione!" he exclaimed.

Hermione grinned sheepishly. "Sorry," she said, moving closer to have a look. "What are you working on?"

Harry's expression darkened as he turned to glare angrily at the parchment. "My name," he said irritably, dipping his quill and bending to work again.

Hermione was confused; she stood behind Harry, watching his trembling hands as he attempted (and failed) to write his name on the parchment in front of him. His hands were shaking so bad the writing looked like nothing more than squiggly lines on the page. Hermione frowned at the page, which was covered with lines. "How long have you been at this?" she asked.

Harry sighed, dropping the quill on the table to rub at his eyes. "A couple of hours," he replied tiredly. "They just won't work." He growled low in his throat, an action he never did.

"Don't make that noise, Harry," Hermione said gently, rubbing Harry's shoulders in an attempt to ease some of his tension. "We never want the things life deals us, but most of the time we're never dealt anything we can't handle. This is an obstacle. You've had bigger obstacles in your path before, and you'll overcome this one just as you have the others. We're all here for you. I know you can beat this."

Harry hung his head, sighing heavily. "Thank you, Hermione," he said quietly.

Hermione had a suspicion that he was holding back tears. "I just don't understand. Why did it have to be me? Hasn't enough happened to me? Did Fate really have to take my hands from me as well?"

Hermione bent over Harry's shoulders, taking hold of his hands and holding them firmly. "You still have your hands, Harry," she told him. "They're right here, and they'll work because you're going to make them listen. They may not want to at first, but your will is strong enough to overcome theirs."

"Well," a voice said from the hall. "If I didn't know you thought of Potter as a brother, I might feel inclined to be jealous."

Hermione turned as she straightened up, giving her boyfriend an irritated look. "I'm trying to help here," she informed him. Malfoy smirked at her.

"I know, Gra…" He cut himself off, his eyes glazing over in some kind of deep thought. "I know, Hermione."

Hermione stared at him, wondering at his behavior. "Will you excuse us, Harry?" she asked turning to her friend to find curious emerald eyes watching her.

"Certainly," Harry said, raising an eyebrow at her.

Hermione smiled as she moved toward Malfoy, pulling him along by his arm as she moved into his common room, which was decked out in green and silver, a black couch sitting in front of a rather large fireplace. "Are you all right?" she asked as soon as they were alone.

"Fine," Malfoy said, sitting down and pulling her with him. "Are you all right?"

Hermione rolled her eyes from her place in his lap. "What was that in there? You know I don't care what you call me, as long as it's not derogatory."

Malfoy looked down, picking up her hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. "It's something Professor Snape said. That I shouldn't keep calling you by your surname if I want any intimacy with you."

"But -"

"I'm not talking about physical intimacy, Hermione," Malfoy interrupted. "I'm talking about true intimacy of spirit. I want that." He looked into her eyes. "With you."

Hermione was floored. "Why me, Mal…"

"Draco," he interrupted. "My name is Draco."

"Draco," Hermione corrected softly. "Why do you want that with me?"

Draco looked at her curiously for a moment. "Perhaps I misjudge," he said. He stared at her for several minutes before shaking his head as though to clear it. "Nothing, never mind. What were you saying to Potter in there?"

"Do you know about his hands?" Hermione asked.

Draco nodded silently.

"I was offering what comfort I could. I know he can learn to work around it, if only he doesn't give up first."

"He won't give up, he's too stubborn."

Hermione smiled. Draco had Harry's number, that was for certain. She bent to kiss her boyfriend, but he gently pushed her, standing up at the same time. "I haven't finished my homework. Perhaps you should go keep Potter company while I do that."

Hermione was very confused. At first, he was talking about intimacy of the spirit, and then he's brushing her off. It didn't make sense. "I'll drop by to say goodnight before I leave."

Draco nodded, already sitting at the mahogany desk in the corner. He didn't look up as she walked out.

**THREE**

Draco sighed heavily when he heard his door shut, feeling guilty for lying to his girlfriend, but at the time, he'd only wanted her to be gone. He'd been mulling over what Severus had thought the other day since that night and had decided that Severus was right. How could he expect to have true intimacy with Hermione if he called her 'Granger' all the time? He hadn't expected the response he'd gotten though. He _had_ thought that Hermione would be happy with the change.

He didn't like that Hermione was content with calling him Malfoy. Perhaps she didn't love him as she claimed to. Perhaps he was simply a project for her; some pitiful soul for her to reform before dropping him like a lead weight.

'_I love you, Hermione,'_ he thought. _'Can't you understand that? What would happen if we married each other? What would our children think of us, calling each other by such ambivalent names? Why can't you just love me back? Is that so much to ask? I've done everything you wanted. I changed everything, or rather you changed everything in me.'_

He didn't understand women. He'd thought what he'd told her was perfectly clear. What didn't she understand? He sighed again; thinking about this was giving him a headache.

**FOUR**

Draco stared at Potter in abject horror. The boy was lying on his back on the ground, his knees drawn up with his arms behind his head.

"Stop staring at me, Malfoy," Potter said as his upper body rose, twisted; touching each elbow to its opposite knee, and then went back down.

"What are you doing to yourself?" Draco asked.

"Sit-ups," Potter replied, continuing to work out.

"I can _see_ that," Draco drawled. "But _why_?"

Potter stayed upright with his next rep. "Because my body has been weakened by all of these bloody visions," he said irritably. "My six-pack is starting to fade." With that, he went back to his sit-ups.

"Won't Quidditch take care of that for you?" Draco asked.

'_Oh, for bloody Merlin's _sake!' a foreign voice ran through Draco's mind, causing him to spin around.

"What?" Draco asked, before realizing that Potter hadn't spoken aloud.

"What?" Potter asked, not bothering to stop his exercise.

Draco shook his head. "You're completely mental, Potter," he said.

'_Whatever,'_ Potter's mental voice said. "I'm in the middle of something here, Malfoy," he said out loud.

"Erm, yeah," Draco replied. "I'll leave you to it then, shall I?" He left without waiting for a reply. People's thoughts had always had a way of filtering into his mind at the most inopportune moments, but it had never happened so frequently before. He wondered at the increase in volume of other's thoughts in his head, but didn't know what was causing it. He decided to take a walk around the grounds because it was starting to become cool outside, and he was feeling very warm.

He exited the castle at a leisurely pace, wandering over to the lake to watch as the water rippled softy with the wind. Near the center, one of the giant squid's tentacles broke the surface before lazily slipping back under again. Draco sighed; why did human life have to be so complicated? Sometimes he wished that people were still as primitive as they once were; life had to have been easier then.

Draco fanned himself with his hand feeling warmer than he had before coming out, despite the cool October air. He bent, removed his shoes and socks, and sat at the edge of the water, dipping his feet in and relishing in the cold feel of it.

'_Why am I so bloody hot?'_ he wondered, not even noticing his internal use of the swear word. He hiked up his robes and dipped the rest of his legs into the water, feeling hotter by the minute. Quite suddenly, he felt a surge of liquid fire in his veins, infusing him with pain and power. He arched his back painfully, crying out at the intensity of it, before falling into unconsciousness.

**FIVE**

'_So many powerful children this year,'_ a woman's voice said inside Draco's mind. He struggled with consciousness for several minutes, listening to the woman's internal dialogue in an attempt to figure out who she was. _'I do hope he wakes soon. He's been asleep for nearly two days. That must have been a painful experience for his magic to have blown that tree to bits the way it did. Thank goodness Severus found him.'_

Draco groaned as he opened his eyes, only to snap them closed against the bright light of the infirmary.

'_Good, he's waking up,'_ the woman, who Draco assumed was Madame Pomfrey, thought.

"Mr. Malfoy?" she asked aloud.

"What?" Draco asked irritably, putting his arm over his eyes to block out the light.

'_I'd better draw the curtains,'_ Madame Pomfrey thought. A moment later, the bright light dimmed considerably. "Is that better, dear?" she asked.

"Much, thank you," Draco replied, sitting up in the uncomfortable bed.

'_I need to inform Severus and the headmaster, but first he needs his potion,' _Madame Pomfrey thought. After a minute, she returned holding out a potion to the blonde. "Drink this," she said. _'I'll have to ask Severus for more sensitivity potions. I've never had so many Majorities in one year.'_

Draco took the potion, hoping it would get the medi-witch's voice out of his head; it didn't work.

"Is that better, dear?" Madame Pomfrey asked gently. _'He's so pale. He seems scared to death. Surely he knows what Majority is?'_ "Do you know what happened to you?"

Draco nodded, hoping she would go away soon.

'_I'd better go call the headmaster'_ "I'll be right back, Mr. Malfoy." She walked toward her office, closing the door behind her. He couldn't hear her thoughts from the other room, which greatly relieved him. He sighed heavily, rubbing his face with his hands. He lay back again, hoping that his life wasn't just about to get more complicated.

**SIX**

The room was full of noise. Draco sat up, holding his hands over his ears, but this did nothing to reduce the sounds assaulting him. He looked around to find the room full of people. Professor Snape, Potter, Hermione, Weasley, Mini-Weasley, Dumbledore, and Madame Pomfrey were all there, though they looked as though they were speaking quietly amongst themselves. Draco realized the noise was all of their thoughts entering his mind at the same time, making it impossible for him to distinguish between them. "Please make it stop," he whimpered, holding his ears tightly, desperate to stop the voices. "Please, I can't take it. Make it stop! Make it stop!"

Everyone was looking at him curiously, concern etched on their faces. "Everyone out!" Madame Pomfrey declared, pushing all the visitors toward the exit. Draco could barely hear her over the sound in his own head. Once everyone was gone, all that was left was Pomfrey's voice.

'_My goodness, what was that about? The poor dear seems so confused.' _"Mr. Malfoy, tell me what's wrong."

"It was so loud," Draco said, his head pounding from the onslaught. "I could hear everything they were thinking, and it was just mashed up in my head."

'_He could hear what they were thinking? How is that possible? Perhaps I should test for delusions. I've never seen Majority affect someone this way.' _

"I'm not delusional," Draco snapped at her irritably. "I don't need any tests! I need to be left alone for a moment!"

'_He's a telepath! I must speak to Albus!' _Madame Pomfrey rushed from the room to speak to Dumbledore.

**SEVEN**

Harry watched curiously as Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey conversed in hushed tones. After a moment, she turned to address those gathered. "If you want to see him, you'll have to do so one at a time," she said, holding her arms to forestall any arguments. "One at a time or not at all, that's final!" She disappeared into the ward, only to appear again a moment later, beckoning Harry into the room. Harry was confused, but he didn't argue. He wanted to see Malfoy as much as everyone else there, after all.

"Hey, Malfoy," he said, sitting down next to the bed.

Malfoy looked at him curiously, cocking his head to the side as though he was listening for something. "I don't hear anything," he said after a moment.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Neither do I," he said. "It's usually very quiet up here. I expect that Madame Pomfrey keeps silencing charms on the ward."

"That's not what I mean," Malfoy replied, waving away Harry's explanation. Harry listened with astonishment as Malfoy explained that he could hear people's thoughts.

"Well," he muttered when Malfoy had finished. "I suppose my Occlumency keeps you from hearing much from me. I keep my mind pretty heavily guarded."

"I suppose that makes sense. I don't know what to do, Harry. I'm so confused! What am I going to do when I have to go back to school? I don't know how to control this! It's too much!"

"You say that like you've experienced this before," Harry observed.

"I've always had it," Malfoy replied. "But it was never like this. I would hear someone's thoughts every once in a while. It's been three years since I heard someone think, and then in the last few days, I heard it twice. I didn't think anything of it, though. I thought, oh well my mind is just a little extra sensitive this week; it's a fluke, nothing more. Ha! I wish."

Harry shook his head, thinking hard. After a moment he said, "Maybe Occlumency can help you. I mean, the whole reason _I_ learned it was to keep Voldemort out of my head. Maybe it could help you keep all this out of yours."

"Maybe," Malfoy agreed. "I hope so."

"Are you feeling okay?" Harry asked. "You look a little strained."

"All of those thoughts gave me a migraine," Malfoy replied.

"I could heal you, if you like," Harry suggested.

Malfoy studied him for a moment, before nodding his consent. Harry moved to Malfoy's side, placing his hand on the blonde head. He closed his eyes, looking for the source of the pain before finding a strong, pulsating pressure point on Malfoy's brain. "Heal," he whispered, pushing his magic to the pain, reducing it to nothing.

"Thanks," Malfoy sighed gratefully.

Harry nodded sharply, sitting back down. "Learn to ask. I have the ability for a reason, you know."

Malfoy smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, right," he said, nodding. Harry chuckled. "Could you tell Hermione to come in?"

"Sure," Harry replied, standing. "Do you want me to stay?"

Malfoy nodded, not looking at Harry. Harry placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "There's no shame in asking for help," he said.

"I know," Malfoy replied, though Harry wasn't sure if he meant it.

"Hermione," Harry said, pushing open the door slightly. "He wants to see you next."

Hermione moved toward him quickly, tears on her face and deep concern in her eyes. "Are you staying? I thought he was only allowed one at a time."

"Don't worry," Harry assured. "He asked me to stay. Come on." After Hermione entered, Harry let the door swing closed again, moving to a safe distance to allow the couple their privacy. Hermione reached out, taking Malfoy's hand in hers, stroking the back gently.

The thought, _'Should I tell her?' _entered Harry's mind without prompting. He saw that Malfoy was looking at him questioningly. Harry shook his head sharply, unsure of how that information would affect Hermione. It might freak her out to know that her boyfriend could read her mind, that he, in fact, couldn't _not_ read her mind. This was going to be a problem if Draco didn't learn to control his ability. They talked for a few more minutes before Hermione left and Ron came in.

"Hey, mate," Ron said, sitting down. "You had us all worried, but Hermione says you're fine now."

Draco smiled. "I'll be all right as long as not too many people come in here at once," he said.

"Why?" Ron asked.

Draco shrugged. "I feel claustrophobic for some reason," he said. "It'll go away, I'm sure."

Harry was impressed at how easily the lie rolled off of Draco's tongue. He needed to learn how to lie like that.

**EIGHT**

Draco met with Snape next, curious about the man's thoughts on his problem. He couldn't hear Snape's mind either, but that didn't surprise Draco in the slightest; he figured that Snape taught Harry Occlumency, so it stood to reason that he'd practice it at all times too.

"Can you teach me?" he asked, after explaining his ability thoroughly. "Do you think it will help?"

Snape was rubbing his bottom lip gently. "I'm not certain that will help," he said after a moment. "I shall speak to the headmaster and ascertain his opinion on the matter." Harry was sitting next to Snape, quietly holding his hand offering support for the stressed man.

When the meeting was over, they went to the other side of the ward together. They spoke quietly for several moments before Snape pulled Harry into a lingering kiss, running his hands through Harry's raven locks.

'_I love you,' _Snape's voice echoed in Draco's mind, causing him to wonder why the man never told Harry this out loud. The two broke apart, exchanging a few more words before Snape left and Mini-Weasley came in. She stood away from Draco, near the door, fidgeting nervously.

"I just wanted to say thank you," she said.

"What for?" Draco asked. She wasn't broadcasting anything, making Draco wonder if she knew Occlumency too.

"For last year," she replied. "You fought your own father to protect Harry. He means a lot to all of us. Thank you for helping him." With that, she left quickly.

"Odd, that one," Draco said to Harry, who was standing in a corner, staring out of the window.

"She's only quiet when she doesn't know you," Harry replied softly. He seemed deep in thought. "Wait until she considers you a friend; she'll never shut up then." He turned to offer Draco a smile before turning back to the window.

"Is something bothering you?" Draco asked.

"Sev'rus," Harry replied. "He's under so much strain already, and stuff just keeps piling up on him."

"He's stronger than you give him credit for," Draco replied. "He had to be a spy for all those years."

"This is different," Harry said softly. "Emotional stress is different than fearing for you life. He fought then to stay alive. He fights now to keep _us_ alive, and the strain is starting to show."

Draco nodded his understanding. Snape loved Harry, but Harry was likely to be dead soon, and Snape couldn't stand the thought. Draco knew that when Harry had said 'us' he'd meant 'me'.

* * *

**Author's Note: You're all so wonderful to me. I love every one of you! Thanks for all of your wonderful support. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work, once again. Thanks also to…**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**CogniDi: Ah, I understand what you were asking now. Yes, Harry's is the violet one. I do like that line pretty well myself. Hehehehe**

**DestinyEntwinements: Yes, I like cookies. Yes, I'm going to do the final confrontation, but I doubt it'll be what you're expecting. The fic is 32 chapters long.**

**Sword and Magic**

**Ktoddhim**

**Sh'arra Rie: Yes, I'll send it along for you.**

**LeeLeePotter**

**Mariana: Thank you**

**Hikari-Aoi: Hehehehehe. Most wonderful, yes.**

**Kears: Draco's just a prat sometimes.**


	25. Maria Beliz

**Author's Note: Sentences with numbers in front of them indicate a translation at the end of the chapter.**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

**María Beliz**

**ONE**

She sighed heavily, reading the article in the _Daily Prophet_ stating that Harry Potter had been removed from the school's general population for reasons of health.

**1** "Ese niño ha pasado por tanto**," **she said to her parrot, petting him gently. He cooed at her, butting his head against her hand. She sighed again, standing from the table to make herself some coffee. She picked up the paper again, sipping her coffee leisurely when she came upon an interesting ad. **2** "¿Qué tenemos aquí?" she wondered aloud, perusing the ad carefully.

_Wanted for immediate hire at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – Witch or wizard with telepathic gifts to teach specialized course to select students. Resumé preferable, immediate interview available for applicants. Contact Albus Dumbledore (Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry) if you are interested._

**3** "Puede que valga la pena mirar esto," she muttered, pulling a blank parchment toward her. She spelled it to show her resumé (in English) and attached a letter to it announcing her immediate arrival at the school before tying it to her parrot and sending him on his way. **4** "¿Qué te traes, anciano?" she asked her empty house, wondering about motives for such ads.

**TWO**

Severus held the shaking teen in his arms, trying to comfort the frustration away with his embrace. "It's all right, Harry," he muttered soothingly, stroking the messy hair gently. "You'll work through this. We'll stop for now, shall we?"

Harry nodded weakly against his chest, his entire body trembling beneath Severus' firm grip. "I hate this," he whispered. "I hate _him_. I hate what he's done to me."

Severus sighed heavily, tightening his grip slightly. _I love you so,_ he thought as he held Harry in his arms. "He won't win, Harry," he said softly, keeping the anger he felt from seeping into his tone.

Harry leaned back to look into Severus' eyes, a question in his gaze. _Of course, he can _feel_ my anger, _Severus thought, bending to kiss those enticing lips. Severus felt the magic in the room shift as Draco entered, just before the blonde said, "Get a room." Severus paid him no heed, choosing instead to deepen the kiss.

Just as Severus pulled Harry closer to his body, a knock sounded on the outer chamber door. All three occupants turned their heads sharply toward the door.

"Are you expecting someone?" Severus asked no one in particular, staring at the door. Both teens shook their heads silently. Draco moved toward the door, pressing his hands and right ear against it, apparently listening for something.

"No thoughts on the other side," he said as the knock sounded again. Severus' guards went up immediately.

"Step back, Draco," he said, pulling his wand from his robes as Harry moved to stand near the far wall, his attention fully on the closed door. "Enter!" Severus called ready for whoever could be calling at this hour in the evening. Dinner had already concluded, so all the students should be firmly ensconced within their dormitories.

The door clicked open softly, opening in an agonizingly slow movement. "I will not harm you," a female voice said, just as said female appeared on the other side. She had a strong Spanish accent, large dark eyes, black hair pulled into a bun at the base of her head, long flowing purple robes, and deep brown skin.

"Who are you?" Severus asked as the diminutive woman closed the door gently behind her.

"My name is María Beliz, señor," she said, her deep voice resonating on the stone walls of the sitting room. "Headmaster Dumbledore has hired me to tutor your young telepath here." She motioned to Draco, a small smile gracing her lips.

"I see," Severus intoned dryly, still not moving to welcome the stranger. "And would you care to _prove_ this?"

"Of course," she replied, not affected by Severus' dark tone at all. "I'll just call the headmaster." As she moved toward the fireplace, next to which Draco was still seated, the blonde stood and pulled his wand on her.

"How 'bout _I_ call the headmaster," Draco said coldly, not moving a muscle.

"As you wish," María replied easily. Draco moved to the fireplace, never showing his back to the intruder. He blindly grabbed some floo powder, threw it into the fire and yelled, "Albus Dumbledore!"

The fire sparked, and a moment later Dumbledore stepped out, dusting off his robes. "Ah, I see you've met!" he said cheerily, seating himself in Draco's chair.

"Who is this woman, Albus?" Severus demanded angrily.

"Didn't you introduce yourself?" Albus asked María.

"Of course, Albus," she replied. "But these young men thought it best to ask you."

"Ah, of course," Albus said. "Severus is always the vigilant one. Jolly good, old man!"

Severus scowled deeply at Dumbledore, wondering if he could kill him and not get arrested. Surely the rest of the world would be glad to be rid of the meddling old man? Surely? "And you didn't see fit to _tell_ someone of this, Albus?" he growled.

"Well, I hadn't thought she'd come straight down here as soon as she arrived," Albus commented, waving off Severus' irritation. "She's quite diligent, wouldn't you say?"

"_Diligent_ is not the word I was thinking," Severus groused, feeling more irritated with each passing moment.

"Please, gentlemen," María interrupted, holding up her hands. "I do not wish to bring fighting. I simply want to teach this young man –" here she motioned to Draco, " – how to use his gift. I don't want to cause trouble."

"It's too late for that, woman!" Severus snarled.

"Professor Snape," a quiet voice said from the corner of the room. Everyone turned to regard Harry. "It's obvious that she's here at Professor Dumbledore's invite. Perhaps we should give her the benefit of the doubt until she proves she has ill intent."

"Harry," Severus said, his tone much softer than it had been. "I will not trust the welfare of my students to some _stranger_ about whom I know nothing. Surely you see the dangers, Harry."

"I do, Professor," Harry replied gently, his hands clasped behind his back. "Unfortunately, there is no one else who can help Draco. He can't stay inside these rooms forever."

"What proof do you have that you're a telepath?" Severus demanded of María.

She regarded him quietly for a moment before turning to Draco. "He is the only one in this room who is not proficient in Occlumency," she said softly. "You two – " she looked at Harry and Severus, " – are like blank slates." She looked at Dumbledore. "You, however, let little thoughts slip, though I believe you have done this on purpose."

Dumbledore rewarded her with a small smile, causing Severus to bristle. He knew he'd lost this round, but there was no way he was going to trust this woman. "Very well," he said stiffly, crossing his arms over his chest. "You've proven your talent. I will allow you to train Draco, but if I get _one hint_ that you are mistreating him, I will ensure that it never happens again. Is that quite clear?"

"Very, señor," María replied with a slight bow of her head. "You have my promise that I will not harm young Draco."

**THREE**

Draco sat quietly, trying his best to clear his mind as María had been trying to teach him.

"You are not concentrating, Draco," María scolded lightly. "You must try again."

"I don't see why I have to learn Occlumency," Draco complained. "What does that have to do with controlling telepathy?"

"It has everything to do with it, nene," María replied. "You must discipline your mind. Occlumency is ultimate discipline. If you learn this, then we can start controlling the voices in your head. If you have no control over your mind, then you will never be able to control your gift. It is much more difficult to control the telepathy without learning Occlumency first."

Draco sighed as he closed his eyes to try again. This was the fourth time María had explained her reasoning behind starting their lessons with Occlumency, but Draco still didn't like that he had to learn it. He attempted to clear his mind again, but he couldn't because he was too busy thinking about how much he absolutely _hated_ Occlumency. He opened his eyes when he heard María sigh.

"Perhaps you would be more open to learning this if Mr. Potter taught you," she suggested.

"How would Potter teach me any better than you've been?" he asked skeptically.

"He is closer to your age," María replied, standing from her seat. "He can relate more to you than I can."

"I don't think I can do this," Draco commented, rubbing his temples gently.

María threw her hands in the air in frustration. **5** "¡Dios mio, por favor!" she exclaimed. "¡Dame paciencia con este muchacho terco! He will have better luck with you, or we will find another way to teach you this. You _will_ learn Occlumency, so help me God!"

Draco couldn't help himself; he smirked at her outburst. "I will speak to Potter about this," he said.

"You do that," María said. "I am going to pray for patience with you. You must be the most hardest boy I have ever met."

Draco had to forcefully keep himself from laughing at her. "It's 'hardest', not 'most hardest'," he corrected.

"I do not need you to give me English lessons," María snapped irritably. "Go, find your friend, and I pray he has better time with you than I have." She stormed out of the room, muttering under her breath in rapid Spanish. Draco chuckled as he went in search of Harry.

**FOUR**

"He's learning," Harry said gently as María came into the room from speaking to Severus. "He'll be ready for the next stage in another month."

"I am glad to hear that," María replied, sitting next to Harry on the couch. "But that is not why I wish to speak to you."

"I'm listening," Harry replied as he wrote the line 'I can do this' again on the parchment in front of him. The writing was messier than his usual writing, but it was somewhat legible. Harry felt that the more he practiced, the more he'd be able to control his hands.

"I think I can help you with the trembling in your hands," María said.

"And how would you do what Poppy could not?" Harry asked, not turning his eyes from his writing.

"It is a matter of mind over substance," María told him.

"Mind over matter," Harry corrected absently. "How would that help me?"

"If you can gain that control, then you can gain control of your hands."

"I'm already gaining control of my hands, if you haven't noticed."

"Learning this would speed the process."

"And how is it that you know how to do this?"

"I have been alive for very long time. I have learned many things in my life. This is one of those things."

"I'll think on it," Harry said, scribbling his line again. He had to write slowly, but he _could_ write, and that was the point.

**FIVE  
**

A week later found Harry with María, learning the art of mind over matter. In his mind, he pictured his hand held in front of him, perfectly still. His hand trembled in front of him in reality as he concentrated on the picture in his mind. The trembling lessened slightly, but was still perceptible.

"You are doing well already," María said approvingly. "You are much more easier to work with than Draco. If only he was like this."

"He's easier to work with, not more easier," Harry corrected without thinking, still concentrating on stilling his hand. "It's Hallowe'en next week. Are you going to the feast?"

"No, I don't think so," María replied. "The school does not know I am here. It would be better if they did not find out."

"Yes," Harry agreed, opening his eyes to look at his still hand. "I suppose it would be at that." He stopped concentrating and his hand began to shake again. He sighed.

"It will take time, mijo," María told him. "Be patient."

"I'll try," Harry returned, stilling his hand again. "I have to do this without thinking about it. I won't be able to cast spells if I have to concentrate so hard on keeping my hand steady."

"It will come to you," María assured him.

**SIX**

January dawned bright and cold on Hogwarts. Harry had caught up on his work and was now attending regular classes with the rest of the school. He'd overcome his shaking hands, though the rest of him still trembled, especially when he was sleeping. Severus holding him at night helped more than anything else to help him sleep peacefully. He smiled as he thought of Severus, causing Ron and Hermione to look at him strangely.

"Excited about tomorrow?" Hermione asked, misinterpreting his happy mood.

"Indeed," Harry replied, turning his shining eyes on her. "I can't wait to be out of this castle for a bit."

"If anyone deserves a Hogsmeade weekend, it's you," Ron commented, shoving Harry's shoulder playfully. "I can't imagine spending all that time with Snape. How do you do it?"

Harry raised his eyebrow at his friend. "_Professor_ Snape has helped me tremendously," he said pointedly. "He's not so bad, and you know it."

"Yeah, yeah," Ron sighed. "He's a nice guy under all the snarkyness. I get it."

Harry chuckled as he took another bite of his lunch.

The next day, the trio went down to Hogsmeade together, Harry having promised Draco that he'd stock up on Honeyduke's sweets. They stopped at Honeyduke's first, intent on buying their favorite sweets before they sold out. After that, they went to several stores, shopping until their feet hurt.

"How 'bout we go to the Three Broomsticks and get a bite to eat?" Harry asked as they left Gladrag's.

"That sounds good," Hermione agreed, taking the lead to the small pub. They sat at a table in the back corner, away from the noise of the rest of the students. The three of them bought fish and chips, eating and chatting about schoolwork, and what Harry was planning for the D.D.L., which he'd decided to continue with after he'd recovered enough to rejoin the school. As they talked, Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, and Hagrid entered the pub.

Harry felt a wave of nostalgia when he saw them, remembering the time in third year when he'd eavesdropped on their conversation about Sirius with Madame Rosemerta and Fudge. Thinking of that, made Harry think of Sirius; poor departed Sirius who died because Harry wasn't fast enough to protect him. Harry pushed the food around his plate morosely, having lost his appetite suddenly.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Hermione asked, noticing his mood shift.

"Fine," Harry replied, standing up from the table. "I'll meet you guys outside." He wrapped his cloak around his shoulders and left the pub. The air outside was crisp and cold, the ground covered in frost. Harry's steps crunched as he walked along toward the end of the path, leading to the cave where Sirius used to hide out. Harry stood on the path, looking up at the mountain, thinking of all the things he had missed out on.

_Damn you, Blaise, _he thought bitterly. _Why did you betray us this way? Don't you know that I would have given you everything, if only you'd been true? I wish you would have… _Harry cleared his mind, knowing that wishing was not going to help bring Sirius back. He sighed heavily, wrapping his cloak more tightly around his body as the wind whipped at it.

"What are you doing up here, Harry?" Hermione asked behind him, moving to stand at his side.

"Remembering," Harry replied softly, not turning to look at her.

"Sirius?" Hermione asked gently.

"Everything," Harry whispered. "I can't afford to forget anything. Remembering is what makes me want to end this war. Voldemort will pay for all he's done if it's the last thing I ever do."

Hermione put her arm around his waist, pulling him close. "You'll win," she said. "I know you will. I believe in you."

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry replied. "Where's Ron?"

"He's waiting for us by the Three Broomsticks," Hermione told him. "We should go before he starts complaining about how cold it is."

Harry chuckled, turning with Hermione to head back to the pub. When they got there, they found that Ron was nowhere to be seen.

"He must have gone back to the school," Hermione surmised, looking around at the crowds of students littering the street. "He's such a baby sometimes."

Harry laughed at her. "Come on, then," he said. "I trust he's already trying to get a head start on dinner."

"We just ate!" Hermione exclaimed as they began walking back to the school.

"Yes, well this is _Ron_ we're talking about," Harry reminded her.

"Point taken," she chuckled.

Ron was not at the Gryffindor table when they arrived nor was he in Gryffindor Tower. They checked the Marauder's Map and found that he was not on the school grounds at all. "Maybe he went back to Honeyduke's," Hermione said hopefully.

"Maybe," Harry agreed, though he had a nagging feeling that she was wrong. He hoped that she was right.

**SEVEN**

"Severus!" Albus' voice rang out from the fireplace. Severus grumbled quietly as he made his way to the hearth to find out what the old codger could possibly want now.

"What is it, Albus?" he asked shortly. "I was _relaxing_ today, in case you've forgotten."

"Death Eaters have been spotted in Hogsmeade," Dumbledore said briskly, causing Severus' eyes to widen in alarm.

"Has anything happened?" he asked urgently, thinking that Harry was in danger.

"Not yet, but I fear something might," Albus replied. "I need you there."

"I will leave at once," Severus agreed, rising to his feet and throwing on his robe before the floo had even disconnected. He walked briskly from the school, panic rushing through his veins as he thought of all the things that could be happening to his Harry. _Please, don't let me be too late, _he thought desperately, moving faster still toward the village. _Please, Merlin, let Harry be okay._

The village of Hogsmeade was quiet when he arrived, the last students turning to make their way back to the school. Severus scanned the area, not seeing any signs of trouble. He decided to look around to make sure all was as it seemed, and made his way toward the Shrieking Shack. All the color drained from his face when came around the building.

Ronald Weasley was hanging from a tree branch, blood dripping onto the ground from his bare feet. He was naked, and all of the skin on his legs and arms had been removed to expose the muscle beneath. His face had burn marks all over it, similar to those on Mike's arms from Severus' wand. A rope was tied about his neck, and his tongue hung swollen and purple from his lifeless mouth. His torso was riddled with stab wounds, and a message was carved into his chest. **'BEWARE OF LORD VOLDEMORT!'** Severus stared at the body of his lover's best friend, unable to move for the shock rolling through him.

"He's got to be around here somewhere," Hermione's voice drifted to his panicked ears. "It's almost curfew. Let's check the Shack."

"Why would he be…" Harry's reply trailed off as the teens rounded the corner and saw Ron's body and Severus staring at it helplessly. Hermione's horrified scream broke through Severus' shock, allowing him to gather the two teens to him.

"Ron," Harry whispered from somewhere around Severus' chest. "Oh, God."

"Come on," Severus said firmly, steering the teens away from the carnage. Harry didn't say anything as they walked back to the castle. Hermione cried the whole way, nearly falling over the stones in the path as Severus helped her keep her balance.

**EIGHT **

Harry felt numb. Ron was dead. Voldemort had killed his, Harry's, best friend. Ron was dead _because_ he was Harry's best friend.

* * *

**1 – That child has been through so much**

**2 – What have we here?**

**3 – This could be worth looking into.**

**4 – What are you up to, old man?**

**5 – My God, please! Give me patience with this stubborn boy!

* * *

**

**Author's Note: A little side note before I start my thanking. I'm starting another HP/SS fic, called _Tears in the Rain _(props to Victoria Ennis for the title), and I was wondering if anyone out there is German, or fluent in the German language. The story takes place in southern Germany, and I require for some of the lines to be German, but I do not speak German myself. If anyone would be interested in translating the necessary lines from English to German, please let me know. I'd be most grateful. Thank you.**

**Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Ktoddhim**

**Chibi-Kaisie: I'd love to answer your questions, but then I'd be giving away my plot. Sorry. hehehe As for the ideas… they just kind of pop into my head without warning, demanding to be written down. They're most difficult to ignore.**

**Hikari-Aoi**

**Sh'arra Rie: You're most welcome**

**Mariana: Harry's going to need a bit of help in the recovery department, but he'll get there eventually, I promise.**

**Kears: We shall see…**

**SexylsSnape126: Thanks for that! I hope you're not disappointed.**

**LeeLeePotter: I do try.**

**Jeni: Answers will come in the future, not to worry, m'dear. As for having fun… I do love this story. It gives me a happy feeling inside every time I go over it. Sometimes I'm amazed that wrote this. Hehehehe**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**DestinyEntwinements: Hehehehe**

**CogniDi: I hope this chapter answers your question about why Ron was never paired. I was still a bit pissed about what he did in book four when I wrote this so… well, you can call me vindictive if you want, I won't take offence. Hehehehehe**

**Sword and Magic: So am I, m'dear, so am I.**

**Sliver of Melody**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Wheres Boo: Thanks so much!**

**Jujube 15: One could say so. I think images are more difficult for him than just thoughts, but I suppose if he wanted to, he could see them.**


	26. Aftermath

**Author's Note: There is rape in this chapter. If this squicks you, please don't read it. **

**  
Chapter Twenty-Six **

**Aftermath**

**ONE **

Draco was reading his Occlumency book again when the outside door opened, Harry and Professor Snape coming in looking dazed.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Professor Snape asked, concern lacing his voice. "Please, say something."

"I just want to be alone," Harry muttered, moving toward his room without a backwards glace.

"What's going on?" Draco asked nervously.

Professor Snape sighed heavily, dropping into his favorite chair and placing his head in his hands. "Ronald Weasley is dead," he said flatly.

Draco felt his stomach drop at such shocking news. "What? How do you know?"

"Because I found his body, Draco." Professor Snape sounded worn out and sad. "And so did Harry and Miss Granger."

"Hermione saw him?" Draco asked, standing up so fast that the sofa tipped back slightly. He ran to the door, and Professor Snape didn't have any time to stop him from leaving. He ran down the Halls as fast as his legs would carry him, intent on getting to his girlfriend. Only when he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady did he realize that he didn't know the password.

"Erm, hello," he said to the portrait.

"You're not a Gryffindor," the Fat Lady said suspiciously.

"I know, but my girlfriend is," Draco replied, attempting to remain polite. "Hermione Granger? Perhaps you know her."

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you in unless you know the password," the Fat Lady insisted.

"Please! It's important. Her best friend just died! I need to make sure she's okay!"

"Died?" the Fat Lady asked skeptically. "How would you know that, hmm?"

"My professor told me," Draco replied, losing his tight grip on his patience. He started pounding on the frame, hoping that one of the Gryffindors would let him in.

"How rude!" the Fat Lady exclaimed. "Stop that! Stop that, I say!"

Draco ignored her and continued to pound on the door. After a moment, someone on the inside pushed it open. Draco crawled up and into the common room before anyone could stop him. The Gryffindors in the common room all stared at him as his eyes roamed the room, looking for Hermione. "Where's Hermione?" he asked urgently.

"Up in the dorm, crying her eyes out, Malfoy," Parvati Patil said coldly. "I suppose you've done something to her. She won't talk to anyone."

"God," Draco muttered, pelting toward the girl's staircase. Much to his surprise, the stairs flattened themselves out, sending him sliding back to the common room amongst peals of laughter from the Gryffindors. "What in the Hell?" he exclaimed, looking at the stairs with confusion.

"Boys aren't allowed up there," Parvati giggled.

"Please, I need to see her," Draco pleaded with the dark-haired girl. "It's very important!" His head was starting to swim with the amount of thoughts bombarding his mind, but he did his best to ignore it.

"Why should I get her for you?" Parvati sneered. "So that you can make her cry more? I think not!"

"I didn't do anything to her!" Draco shouted, starting to feel angry and confused by Parvati's assumptions as well as by the thoughts rolling through his brain. "This is about Ron, not me!"

Parvati's eyes narrowed. "What about Ron?" she asked suspiciously.

Draco sighed, running a hand through his hair desperately. "He's dead," he said. "Please, I must make sure that Hermione is okay."

The common room grew very quiet. "How do you know that?" Parvati asked. "How do we know you're not just making that up?"

"I wouldn't do that!" Draco yelled at her angrily. "Bloody Hell! I have to speak with Hermione! I don't have bloody _time_ for this shit!"

"What's going on down here?" a girl asked from the steps. Draco turned to find Ginny Weasley on the steps, looking at him curiously. "How'd you get in here?"

"Someone let me in," Draco replied. "Please, Ginny, I need to see Hermione."

"Do you know why she's so upset?" Ginny asked. "She won't tell anyone what happened, but she did say it wasn't you."

"Yes, I do know," Draco affirmed. "Please, may I see her? It's so important. Please?"

"I'll just go tell her you're here," Ginny replied, turning around and going back up the stairs.

Draco sighed in relief, glad that at least one Gryffindor wasn't so quick to blame him. A moment later, Hermione was running down the stairs and into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder. Draco's heart broke for her as he held her close. "Oh, Hermione," he whispered sadly. "I'm so sorry. So very sorry."

Hermione just continued to cry, unwilling or unable to reply to him. Draco gently led her out of the common room, into the corridor to get away from all of the random thoughts that were clouding his brain. Once they were away from the rest of Gryffindor, Draco could hear Hermione's thoughts clearly. He could see the scene when they found Ron's body, and he had to forcibly stop himself from shuddering.

"We have to tell Ginny," he muttered gently, knowing that Hermione wouldn't want to do that.

"I can't!" Hermione wailed miserably. "Oh God, I can't!"

"We'll take her to Dumbledore," Draco suggested. "He'll know by now. He'll tell her. We can't just not say anything."

"I know," Hermione sniffed. "How could this happen? We only left him for a moment. Just a moment! How could they get him so _fast_? _Why_ did they take him? Why!"

"I don't know, Hermione," Draco soothed, running his fingers through her hair. "I wish I could help somehow."

"You're helping now," Hermione whispered, burying her face more into the crook of his neck.

"Let's get Ginny, shall we?" Draco suggested. Hermione nodded against his shoulder, but she didn't say anything. "I need the password, love," Draco reminded her.

"Gallantry," Hermione replied, sniffling gently. As she said it, the portrait swung open.

Draco released his hold on Hermione and crawled back into the common room, looking around for the youngest Weasley. He spotted her in a corner, working on some homework. "Ginny," he called, catching her attention. "May I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure," Ginny replied, setting her books aside and following him out into the corridor. "What's up?" she asked once the portrait closed behind them. Draco could hear her worried thoughts about Hermione.

"We need to go to the Headmaster's office," Draco replied, placing a supportive arm around Hermione's shoulders. "He can explain better than I can."

Ginny was confused, nevertheless she said, "Okay." As the trio walked toward Dumbledore's office, Draco's head began pounding painfully from the thoughts he couldn't keep out. He ignored it, though, preferring to be there for the two girls when Ginny was told what had happened to her brother. They reached the gargoyle to find Professor Snape waiting for them.

"Sugar Quills," he said when they reached him, and the four of them proceeded up the spiraling stairs and into Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was seated behind his desk, looking older than Draco had ever seen him. Harry was seated by the window staring out silently apparently not even aware that more people had entered the office. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were by the fireplace, whispering quietly to each other, obviously still wondering why they had been summoned here.

"Ah, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore said when he saw them. "Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger, please, take a seat." Everyone present sat down, except for Professor Snape, who moved to the window and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. He bent to whisper something into Harry's ear, making Harry turn his attention to the small gathering.

"I'm afraid that I have very bad news," Dumbledore said gently. "During the trip to Hogsmeade this afternoon, Ron was kidnapped, though by whom, we do not know."

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stared at Dumbledore horror stricken. "Who's looking for him?" Mr. Weasley asked. "Do you have the Order out searching? I want to help."

Dumbledore held up his hands to stem the flow of Mr. Weasley's concern. "I'm sorry, Arthur," he said. "He has already been found. He did not survive."

Mr. Weasley paled as Mrs. Weasley burst into tears, leaning against her husband for support. Ginny sat stunned next to Hermione, staring at the Headmaster as though she'd never seen him before. "You're wrong," she whispered. "You have to be wrong. Maybe it was someone under Polyjuice to make us think he's dead, but he's really alive somewhere."

"Miss Weasley," Dumbledore said gently. "I wish that were true, but we have—"

"No!" Ginny shouted, standing from her chair, sending it toppling over backwards. "You're wrong! He's not dead! He can't be dead!"

Hermione erupted into a new fit of sobs, clinging to Draco desperately as Ginny stared at all of them wildly.

"What's the matter with you?" Ginny demanded of them. "He can't be dead! Ron wouldn't have let them kill him! He was part of the D.D.L.! He knows how to defend himself! They can't kill him!"

Mr. Weasley left his wife's side to engulf his daughter in a tight embrace. He held her close, one hand on the top of her head as she finally burst into anguished tears, screaming, "It's not true!" over and over again into her father's chest.

**TWO**

"Tell me, my faithful," the Dark Lord said silkily, pacing around the circle of his followers gathered before him. "Who decided that it would please me to kill the Weasley boy?"

Trembling, the Death Eater stepped forward, aware that his Lord was not pleased at all. "I did, My Lord," he replied, forcefully keeping his voice steady.

Red eyes turned to him, flashing menacingly. "I see," he said, moving toward the Death Eater gracefully. "Why did you think you should kill him, hmm?"

"He was the Potter child's best friend," the Death Eater muttered, lowering his eyes submissively. "I thought we could break Potter by killing off his friends."

"Interesting," the Dark Lord purred. "And did you not understand when I said that you were to kill the Mudblood?"

"My Lord, I could not find her. Sh-she was n-not at th-the pub. I th-thought the W-weasley boy w-would be a g-g-good substitute."

"Did it never occur to you that Weasley was a _Pureblood?_ He could have been turned to our cause!"

"I th-thought –"

"I do not keep you here to _think_!" the Dark Lord snapped. "I keep you here to _follow orders_! The Weasley brat could have made an excellent spy! He was in the perfect position to report Potter's movements to me! HE'S USELESS IF HE'S DEAD! _CRUCIO!"_

The Death Eater crumpled to floor in pain, his screams echoing in the deserted clearing in which the meeting was being held. How long the torture went on, he didn't know, but eventually he blacked out from the pain.

**THREE**

Once he was certain of his health, the Death Eater made his way to Hogwarts, intent to leave the circle of Death Eaters he had so foolishly joined two years ago. He didn't know if Dumbledore would believe him, but he knew he had to try. He could gain the power he craved once the Dark Lord was vanquished.

"You are sincere in your change of heart?" Dumbledore asked mildly, picking a yellowish round ball from the tin in front of him and placing it in his mouth.

"I am," the Death Eater replied, nodding his head for emphasis.

"Then you wouldn't mind answering some questions under Veritaserum," Dumbledore remarked, his blue eyes twinkling brightly.

The Death Eater swallowed nervously, but agreed nonetheless. To his great relief, Dumbledore did not ask if he was the one who murdered Ronald Weasley. After Dumbledore was satisfied, he said, "Very well, I believe you. I will assign you to assist Mr. Filch in his care taking duties. We will discuss your roll in the war once you've settled in."

"Thank you, Headmaster Dumbledore," the Death Eater sighed in relief. "I will prove my worth to you."

Dumbledore waved his hand dismissively. "Think nothing of it, Jason," he said. "Everyone deserves a second chance."

Jason McCullen felt that if he could just survive this war, he would be able to obtain the power he craved. With this chance Dumbledore was giving him, he knew his chances at surviving were greatly improved.

**FOUR**

Severus held Harry close to him, worried about his young lover's state of mind. Harry had been very quiet since seeing Weasley's body hanging from the tree in Hogsmeade, but not silent as he was when his godfather passed.

"You worry too much, Sev'rus," Harry muttered softly from his place against Severus' chest. "I'll be fine."

"You don't seem fine," Severus negated. "You've been so quiet."

Harry sighed, tightening his grip on Severus' waist. "It was a shock, seeing him that way," he whispered. "I'll be okay, I promise."

Severus tightened his grip as well, unsure if Harry truly would be okay as he insisted. "I know," he sighed. "I know."

"Go on," Harry said, stepping back. "You have a class to teach, and I have a class to attend. I'll be okay. Don't worry too much about me." He smiled reassuringly, though it did nothing to make Severus feel any better. It had been two weeks since Ron was killed, and Harry didn't seem any closer to dealing with it than he had the day it happened.

"Very well," he said. "Go to class, and do try to have a good day."

Severus' teaching was extremely subdued that day as his mind swam with worry for Harry. As his last class came to a close, one of the Hufflepuffs exploded his cauldron, sending potion flying everywhere.

Severus sighed, rubbing his temples gingerly. He moved to the student's desk, inspecting the cauldron to discover his mistake. "Tell me what you did wrong, Mr. Smith," he said.

"I-I don't know sir," Smith replied nervously.

"Did you crush or chop the root?" Severus asked patiently.

"Crush, sir," Smith replied.

"I see. And what do the directions say to do?"

Smith looked up at the board and groaned. "Ch-chop, sir," he muttered.

"Yes, chop," Severus agreed. "Ten points from Hufflepuff for abominable lack of attention. Class dismissed." As the class filed out, Severus contacted Filch to clean up the mess of the room so he could shower before dinner.

"I hear there was an incident in here," a very recognizable voice said from the door as Severus cleared off his desk. His head snapped up at the voice and he found himself looking at Jason McCullen.

"What are you doing here?" he growled angrily. "Does Albus know you are here?"

Jason moved farther into the room, pulling his wand from his robes as he did.

Severus had his wand out and aimed in an instant.

"Jumpy, Severus," Jason said amicably, holding his hands up to show he was not a threat. "Dumbledore knows that I'm here. He's assigned me to assist the Squib, so I have come to clean up this mess."

Severus growled low in his throat, sweeping out of the room in a cloud of billowing black robes to confront the old codger about his most recent appointment. He stormed into the headmaster's office without knocking. "What is he doing here!" he demanded of Dumbledore.

"Who?" Dumbledore asked mildly, not even looking up from his paperwork.

"Jason. McCullen," Severus grated angrily.

"Ah," Dumbledore said. "I've assigned him to help Argus with his duties."

"Why?" Severus demanded.

"He's asked for sanctuary," Dumbledore replied, finally leveling his calm gaze on the irate Potions Master.

"AND YOU GAVE IT TO HIM!" Severus exclaimed. "HAVE YOU FINALLY GONE MAD!"

"Of course I gave it to him, Severus. Would you have me turn him away?"

"YES I WOULD! YOU CANNOT TRUST THAT… THAT…BLOODY BACKSTABBING LIAR!"

"Many have said that of you, Severus," Dumbledore said gently. "I must give him a chance, just as I gave you a chance."

Severus dropped into a chair, staring at Dumbledore in disbelief. "Surely you are not comparing him to me?" he asked incredulously. "He's already proven that he cannot be trusted. How could you put this school in danger this way?"

"I questioned him under Veritaserum," Dumbledore remarked gently. "Do you believe I should just leave him to his fate with the Death Eaters? Do not all men deserve a chance to prove that they are worthy of forgiveness?"

Severus shook his head. "I do not trust him," he stated. "You will instruct him to keep away from me and both of my charges. I will not have them placed in danger."

Dumbledore sighed wearily. "Very well, Severus," he conceded. "I will instruct him to steer clear of you and yours, but I warn you that he will be around the castle. I cannot restrict all of his movements, or he would be of no use to Argus."

"I swear to you now, Albus, if anything happens to any of the children in this school because of that man, I will _never_ forgive you. Do you understand?"

"I do, Severus," Albus affirmed.

Severus nodded curtly and left the office, storming back to his rooms for that shower he'd wanted before, angry that he would be late to dinner.

**FIVE**

Harry walked around the lake slowly, thinking about many things that were bothering him. Foremost on his mind was Severus. Severus had been in an exceptionally bad mood for the last two weeks, and Harry simply couldn't understand why. Severus had gone off to teach one day, worried but not sour, and then he'd returned in a terrible mood, and had been since then.

He also thought of Ron, and how he could have kept his best friend protected from what had happened to him. He felt that if only he had kept his friends from him, perhaps Ron might still be alive. Of course, he didn't tell anyone he thought this because he knew that they would just tell him he was being silly. He knew they couldn't understand how guilty he felt, and he didn't want to add to their worries.

"You shouldn't be wandering around out here on you own," a man said behind him, startling Harry from his thoughts. He turned to see a tall man with dark hair and stunning blue eyes regarding him coldly. "Aren't you Harry Potter?" he asked.

"Erm, yes," Harry replied, feeling a great amount of trepidation towards this man. The malice was practically dripping off of the man. "Sorry, but who are you?"

"Jason McCullen," the man replied with an incredibly fabricated smile. "I'm Mr. Filch's new assistant."

Harry remembered hearing rumors of a handsome man helping Mr. Filch around the castle. "Yes, I've heard of you," he said. "The girls can't get over how cute you are."

"Really?" McCullen asked with another fabricated smile. "Pity for them that I don't lean that way."

"Which way is that?" Harry asked sarcastically, liking this man less and less with each moment. "Toward teenage girls or just girls in general?"

McCullen's smile faltered a bit under Harry's harsh tone, but he hitched it back onto his face almost immediately. "Just girls in general," he replied.

"Hm," Harry said coldly. "I wish I could say that it was pleasure meeting you, Mr. McCullen, but that would make me a liar. Good day to you, sir."

McCullen grabbed Harry's arm as he passed. "You should watch your tone, Potter," he warned. "Some people might think you had a superiority complex."

"Like I _care_ what you think of me," Harry sneered, aware that he probably looked and sounded remarkably like Severus. "Unhand me, sir, before I take drastic measures."

McCullen removed his hand from Harry's arm, and Harry was aware of him watching as Harry made his way into the castle. Harry did not look back to confirm his suspicions though, as he felt that it would give the man some strange sense of satisfaction.

As Harry entered Severus' rooms, he found his lover pacing around in agitation.

"Where have you been?" Severus snapped the moment he saw Harry. "I've been worried out of my mind!"

"I was going for a walk, Sev'rus," Harry replied patiently, still unsure as to why Severus would worry about him on Hogwarts grounds. "I met the new Assistant Caretaker. McCullen, I think? I don't like him at all."

The effect of his statement was rather disconcerting as Severus rushed to him and began looking him over as though checking for injury. When he found none, he said, "Listen to me carefully. I want you to stay away from that man. He's very dangerous."

"Why would Dumbledore let him work here if he's so dangerous?" Harry asked.

"Because, the Headmaster trusts people too easily!" Severus exclaimed angrily, starting to pace again.

"I agree that he's unfriendly, but surely Dumbledore knows what he's doing," Harry argued reasonably.

"I _know_ Jason!" Severus snapped. "He cannot be trusted! Do you trust Dumbledore better than me after he's needlessly risked your life time and again?"

"No, Sev'rus," Harry soothed. "I trust you better. I'll be careful with him, okay?"

Severus suddenly pulled Harry into a nearly bone crushing hug. "Just stay away from him, Harry," he whispered. "Please promise me you will."

Harry frowned a bit but agreed nonetheless.

"Do you have homework?" Severus asked after a moment, moving to his desk to grade papers.

"Of course I do," Harry replied. "N.E.W.T.s are next year, after all."

"Well, hop to it, young man," Severus said with a small smile. Harry stuck his tongue out at the man and sat down on the floor to start his homework.

**SIX**

"I have to patrol the halls tonight," Severus said a week later as he finished his grading for the night. "I'll be back late."

"Okay," Harry replied, not looking up from his homework. Severus pecked the top of his head and then left the rooms. Harry worked for a few hours until he finished his work, and then looked at the clock to see it was just after midnight. He sighed, deciding to turn in for the night, knowing that Severus wouldn't be back until at least two. He put away his things, stood to go to the shower and froze when he saw McCullen standing in the doorway.

"Hello, Mr. Potter," he said, mild surprise filling Harry's senses. "I must say, I hadn't expected to find you in Severus' quarters."

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked coldly.

"Looking for Severus, of course," McCullen replied easily.

"He's patrolling, so you can leave now," Harry snapped. He began to worry when the surprise was replaced by delighted giddiness.

"I think I'll wait, thanks," McCullen said, moving further into the room, closing and warding the door behind him.

"Just how rude do I have to get before you realize that you're not welcome here?" Harry asked sarcastically.

"You're too young to know whether I'd be welcome," McCullen returned easily.

"Get. Out." Harry grated, his temper rising.

"These are Severus' rooms, if I'm not much mistaken, so you've no right to tell me to get out," McCullen said. He stepped closer to Harry. "Why don't you make me feel welcome?"

"Perhaps because you are not welcome," Harry replied. "Professor Snape has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with you."

McCullen moved closer still, reaching out to touch Harry's face.

Harry flinched back from him with disgust. "Just who the Hell do you think you are?" he snapped angrily. "Don't you dare touch me!" He pulled out his wand as he scrambled away from the man, registering lust and hate pouring from McCullen in waves.

"Oh, come now, you're being terribly unfriendly."

"I can't imagine why that would be."

"Neither can I, Harry," McCullen purred, pulling his own wand from where he'd stashed it up his sleeve.

"Don't use my name," Harry growled.

McCullen moved so fast that Harry didn't have a chance to react. "Expelliarmus!" he cried, catching Harry's wand with ease and tossing it to the side where it would be useless.

"Bastard!" Harry yelled at him, even as he felt McCullen's triumph.

McCullen moved forward quickly and pulled Harry close to him. Harry pushed at him roughly, and then punched him in the nose. This seemed to enrage the man, as he returned Harry's punch with one of his own, followed by a swift punch to Harry's ribs. As Harry was doubled over, wheezing in pain, McCullen pinned the teen against the wall, holding Harry's arms over his head with one hand.

"Oh, you're a feisty one," McCullen breathed into Harry's ear.

"Get off of me, you psychotic monster!" Harry yelled, hoping that Draco would wake up and help him. Unfortunately, Draco was out late with Hermione, keeping her mind off of loosing Ron.

"That's not very nice, Mr. Potter," McCullen replied calmly, reaching between their bodies to caress Harry's groin. "Oh, aren't you happy to be here?" he asked when he found that Harry was completely flaccid.

"Get off!" Harry yelled again, continuing to struggle against McCullen's unwelcome presence.

"Oh, but you're such a pretty boy," McCullen purred, pushing Harry's robes up. He deftly undid Harry's jeans, and then he murmured a spell that, to Harry's horror and shame, made Harry hard as a rock in an instant. As his mind screamed for him to stop this, his body asked him to go on.

Harry intensified his struggled, an unadulterated fear coming over him as he fought.

"Oh, I love it when they're feisty," McCullen purred as he spelled his robes to the floor, revealing his full, naked glory. He pushed his body close to Harry's, their erections touching together with maddening friction. Harry tried to fight, but he was severely weakened by the spell, his body quivering with a pleasure that Harry didn't want to feel.

"So responsive," McCullen murmured as he began rubbing his shaft against Harry's. Harry felt sick at hearing the very words Severus had spoken to him their first time together coming from this man's mouth.

"Get away from me!" Harry exclaimed, though the words lacked the bite he'd intended due to his heavy breathing.

"Just relax, Harry," McCullen rasped as he sped up his thrusts. "I know you're enjoying this."

"No!" Harry denied, but just after he'd said it, his entire body tensed with his orgasm as the man rubbed harder still. A moment later, McCullen reached his own orgasm. He held Harry tight to the wall as he caught his breath, and then spelled his robes back on. He pulled Harry's jeans back up from the boy's thighs and stepped back.

"That was exquisite," McCullen remarked. "I can't wait to take things further with you."

"Go to Hell," Harry replied hatefully. "Go straight to Hell, you sick bastard." Harry remained where he was as McCullen left the rooms, feeling drained, dirty, angry and extremely pathetic. How was he supposed to defeat Voldemort if he couldn't even keep from being raped? When he finally found the strength to move, he took the hottest shower he could, scrubbing at his whole body until his skin was very red.

Once he couldn't scrub any longer due to the pain, he leaned against the wall, resting his head on his forearm, struggling to hold back his tears. "I'm sorry, Sev'rus," he muttered miserably. "I really did try to stop him." He went to his own bed that night, frightened that Severus would want something he knew he wouldn't be able to give, and gave in to his tears. He cried himself to sleep, feeling that somehow he'd failed everyone with his weakness.

* * *

**Author's Note: Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: We'll see about María in the future. Hehehehe**

**Ktoddhim**

**DestinyEntwinements: I do too. Thanks for the cookies.**

**Jumping-Jo**

**Sword and Magic**

**LeeLeePotter: I just read too much Stephen King, I guess. Hehehehe**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Nicky12330**

**CogniDi: What can I say? Torturing Harry is just too much fun.**

**SexylsSnape126: I wrote a story with a sad ending once and I got slammed for it. It was quite funny.**

**Chibi-Kaisie: Nope, I don't know much Spanish at all. I do, however, have some lovely reviewers who helped immensely with those lines. Hehehe.**

**Mariana**

**Rosalia**

**Jujube15: I would say not. HAHAHA**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**Deathbyspatula**

**Purplepaper**

…

**Hikari-Aoi: You seem to be the only one who shares my disdain for Ron. Thank you!**

_**Completely unrelated note: Is it just me, or does this section seem to be getting rather big? Hehehehe**_


	27. What's Up with Potter?

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

**What's Up With Potter?**

**ONE **

Severus was rather confused when, one week previous, he came home from his rounds to find Harry asleep in his own room. His confusion only grew as the week progressed when first Harry avoided him, and then Harry wanted to be held at all times they were together.

Now, after all of his erratic behavior, Harry wanted a kiss.

"Please?" Harry whispered, looking into Severus' eyes with hope and fear. Severus simply couldn't understand what was running through his lover's mind, so he complied with a gentle kiss. Harry deepened the kiss, licking Severus' bottom lip to ask for admittance, which he was granted.

Severus pulled away slowly to observe Harry's expression, which was decidedly unreadable. "Are you all right, Harry?" Severus asked softly, unable to determine what was going on in Harry's head.

Harry nodded and said, "Make love to me, Sev'rus." He placed his arms around Severus' waist, stretching his neck and getting up onto his toes to place a kiss on Severus' mouth. He moved down to Severus' neck and shoulders. "Please, Sev'rus," he muttered, continuing his attentions on Severus' neck.

Severus couldn't find it in his heart to say no to his lover, so he lifted Harry from the floor and took him into the bedroom. He placed the teen gently on the bed and lowered himself over top, kissing Harry passionately but gently, sensing his lover's inexplicable nervousness. Harry's hands found Severus' buttons and began to undo them slowly, never stopping the kiss as he worked. His tongue swirled around Severus' almost desperately as his hands worked, making Severus pull back to still Harry's hands.

"Are you certain that you're all right?" he asked with concern.

Harry nodded, seeking to pull Severus back into the kiss, but Severus dodged his hands.

"You seem nervous to me," Severus commented.

"I'm not nervous," Harry replied, obviously lying. "Please, Sev'rus? Make me forget who I am. Make me forget everything but you. Please?"

Severus swallowed his retort, feeling rather than knowing that Harry needed to feel loved. He ducked his head to reinitiate the kiss, finding Harry's buttons with his long fingers. Once Harry's robes lay open on the bed, Severus pushed up the tee shirt Harry was wearing, searching for the bear skin beneath.

"Buttons," Harry murmured into Severus' mouth. "Why must you always have so many buttons?"

Severus chuckled gently at Harry's familiar question, reaching down to help Harry finish with his outer robe. "They are elegant," he replied with a smirk.

"They are _annoying_," Harry came back, reaching up again to start work on Severus' inner robe. "Too many buttons."

Severus chuckled again, helping Harry with the next set of buttons as well. Once they were opened, Severus pushed Harry's shirt up and over the teen's head, revealing his beautifully toned chest and stomach. _'How did I ever get so fortunate?' _Severus thought as he took in the sight before him. He ducked his head to kiss Harry's chest, pausing at each nipple to suck them into hard little nubs, enjoying the pleasant mewling sounds Harry was making.

Harry pushed Severus' robes from his shoulders, leaving him revealed. Harry ran his hands over Severus' chest, his eyes filled with what Severus only dared to call affection, though it looked like so much more than that.

Severus' hands dropped to Harry's waistband, beginning work on Harry's jeans when he felt Harry tense slightly beneath him. Before he had time to consider what that could mean, Harry had flipped their positions, straddling Severus' hips as he removed his own jeans. In the back of Severus' mottled brain, he registered the fact that Harry hesitated slightly before removing his jeans, but the rest of him was overcome with the feeling of passion, love and magic.

Harry bent forward over Severus' body, claiming Severus' mouth in another searing kiss. Harry continued kissing, running his hands along every bit of Severus that he could find, increasing the powerful magic flowing between them. Severus reached up and behind him, opened the nightstand drawer, and pulled out his oil-based lube, wondering what Harry wanted from him this night. Harry reached out and plucked the lubricant from Severus' hand, smiling shyly down at his lover. He kissed Severus gently, sat up and took the lid off of the jar, his legs flexing around Severus' hips as he used them to keep his balance.

Harry smiled as he bent forward to give Severus another kiss.

He reached his hands up and tangled them in Harry's hair, cradling the teen's head lovingly and kissing his temple gently. They made love slowly, and when they finished, Harry collapsed onto Severus' chest.

"Thank you, Sev'rus," Harry whispered. "Thank you." His voice hitched slightly, and Severus was horrified to realize that Harry was crying softly.

"Harry?" he asked, rolling them so that Harry was next to him. "What is it?"

Harry touched Severus' cheek gently, tears shining in his eyes. "Nothing," he replied even as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. "I'm fine."

Severus frowned, not believing that Harry was fine, but knowing that Harry wouldn't tell him if he wasn't. He wiped Harry's cheek with his thumb, still searching Harry's shining eyes for some clue as to what was wrong.

"Let's sleep now, Sev'rus," Harry murmured, bringing Severus' hand to his mouth and giving the palm a kiss.

Severus swallowed, nodding and laying next to Harry, pulling his lover to him protectively. Harry cuddled close, wrapping his legs and arms around Severus and drifting into a peaceful sleep. Severus, however, couldn't sleep for wondering what could have caused Harry to cry that way. The only conclusion his could draw was that he'd hurt Harry somehow, which didn't comfort him at all. He kissed the top of Harry's head and lay back, hoping he was wrong, but knowing that Harry wouldn't tell him if he wasn't.

**TWO**

Draco stretched languidly as he finished his meditative exercise, pleased with his progress. He'd nearly managed to master Occlumency, and he was thrilled that he'd soon be able to continue his lessons with Maria, hopefully to rejoin classes by the end of the coming summer break. He'd nearly passed out from the strain of being around so many people when he'd taken Hermione and Ginny to Dumbledore's office all those weeks ago, so he wanted to master his gift as soon as possible. He wanted to spend more time with Hermione, feeling that he'd neglected her considerably since reaching his Majority. She'd come to see him a few times, but he had to send her away quickly each time as his head began to hurt from trying to block out her thoughts. He still hadn't told her why he was confined, but he didn't want to know what her reaction would be when she found out that he could read her mind.

He walked from his common room to Professor Snape's sitting room, thinking he'd ask Potter for a game of chess.

Potter, who was sitting at the coffee table doing his homework, jumped up and spun around when Draco entered, his wand pointed and a hex obviously on his lips. He sighed heavily when he saw Draco and returned to his homework without a word.

"Merlin, Potter," Draco drawled, his eyebrows creasing in consternation. "One would think you were expecting an attack."

Potter shrugged slightly, not turning around and still not speaking.

"_Are_ you expecting an attack?" Draco asked suspiciously.

Potter paused, and then shook his head slowly, as though he was lying, which Draco thought he probably was.

"Honestly, Potter," he said, moving to the chessboard. "No one can get to us in here. Why else would Dumbledore assign both of us to live down here?"

Potter looked over at him, his expression carefully blank. After observing Draco for a moment, Potter abandoned his homework and moved to join Draco at the chessboard.

"You play white," he said quietly, not meeting Draco's eyes.

Draco raised his eyebrow and set up the board, wondering what Potter's problem was. He'd been acting strange for almost a month, and Draco knew that it had nothing to do with losing Weasley. Potter had gone quiet after Weasley died, but in the last month or so, he'd been jumpy and suspicious of everyone, including Professor Snape. Draco couldn't imagine what could have happened to make Potter so nervous, but he thought it had to be something bad.

**THREE**

"Professor Snape?" Draco asked quietly as he entered the professor's office.

Professor Snape was seated behind his desk grading papers, but he put his quill aside and waved Draco to a seat. "What brings you out into the world, Draco?" he asked, looking slightly amused.

Draco swallowed nervously, unsure now that he was here whether he should ask the professor about Harry's odd behavior. "What's up with Potter?" he blurted before he could lose his nerve.

Professor Snape's eyebrow rose slightly at the question. "To what are you referring?" he asked.

Draco felt his cheeks heat slightly in embarrassment, but he pressed on nonetheless. "He's been a bit… jumpy, as of late," he said. "I was wondering if he'd told you anything about why."

Professor Snape's expression hardened. "He has not," he snapped. "But even if he had, it would not be my place to discuss it with you. If he wishes for you to know, he will tell you."

Draco inwardly flinched at his professor's tone. "I'm sorry, sir," he muttered. "I'm just concerned about him. It is very uncharacteristic for him to be so jumpy. I wanted to help."

Professor Snape's expression softened a bit at that, and he came around the desk, placing a reassuring hand on Draco's shoulder. "He needs a bit of time, Draco," he said gently. "He'll tell us when he's ready."

"Yes, sir," Draco replied, not feeling any better for the talk.

**FOUR**

Severus sat at the head table, watching the students enter for their lunch. His eyes turned to the doors of the Hall as another student entered. He saw Harry, looking slightly winded, looking behind him as though worried someone might be following him. He moved quickly to the Gryffindor table and sat across from a rather subdued Hermione Granger.

Severus watched the teens, wondering at what Harry had been running from when he entered. The doors opened again and Severus saw Harry watching the new arrival almost fearfully. Severus turned to see at who Harry was looking, and found Jason smirking smugly at the teen. Severus' eyes narrowed dangerously as he watched his ex-lover, wondering what he'd done to Harry to cause such a reaction.

"Good afternoon, Severus," Jason said as he took Filius' seat next to Severus. "It's a beautiful day, is it not?"

"Why are you here?" Severus grated, rather than answering the question. "Should you not be with Argus?"

"Eat lunch with the Squib?" Jason asked, waving a hand dismissively. "I'd rather not, thank you. He has terrible manners and a most disagreeable personality."

Severus was about to reply when an old hand fell on Jason's shoulder. He looked up to find Dumbledore looking very disapproving. "This seat is reserved for Professor Flitwick," he said amicably, though his eyes were anything but.

"I just thought I'd have lunch with Severus," Jason replied with his trademark, fabricated smile.

"I've no doubt about your intentions," Dumbledore said. "However, Filius will be here shortly, and he's grown quite accustomed to his mealtime chats with Severus."

Jason seemed to take the hint because he stood, gave a small, sarcastic bow and left the Hall.

"I think he's done something to Mr. Potter," Severus said as soon as Jason was gone.

"Why would you think that?" Dumbledore asked.

"Mr. Potter has been very jumpy, as of late," Severus replied. "I saw him when he walked in here. He looked frightened. He watched Jason's progress across the Hall before he started on his lunch."

Dumbledore waved his hand dismissively. "You are reading too much into things, Severus," he remarked. "Harry is still overcoming the loss of his best friend. I'm sure he'll calm down soon."

Severus felt anger welling up inside of him, so he turned away from Dumbledore before he did something he'd regret later. He scanned the students again and saw that both Harry and Miss Granger were picking at their food, not eating much. He supposed that meals must be difficult for them, due to Mr. Weasley's affinity for food.

**FIVE**

"I'll meet you at lunch, Hermione," Harry said as their Charms class drew to a close. "I have to speak to Professor Flitwick for a moment."

"I could wait for you, Harry," Hermione responded quietly.

"Don't worry about it. I won't be long."

"Okay." Hermione gave Harry a peck on his cheek before departing.

Harry walked up to Flitwick's desk. "Sir?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" Flitwick squeaked.

"Have I caught up on everything, sir?" Harry asked.

"You've done admirably, Mr. Potter," Flitwick replied. "You are caught up with class. Beautiful work on your Anti-Motion charm today."

"Thank you, sir," Harry said quietly. He left the room feeling subdued, hoping that he wouldn't see McCullen on his way to lunch.

As he turned into the deserted corridor to the Great Hall, he saw McCullen leaning against the wall, looking relaxed.

"Hello, Harry," McCullen purred, standing up straight. "I've been looking forward to our next meeting."

Harry swallowed, wondering if he'd be expelled for hexing McCullen into oblivion. He didn't say anything.

"Oh, are you still being so unfriendly?" McCullen asked, walking toward Harry slowly. "I never thought that the Boy-Who-Lived would be so very _shy_. What a delightful burden to overcome."

Harry held his head high with pride he didn't feel, and started to walk passed. McCullen reached out and grabbed Harry's arm tightly, a sickening smile on his too thin lips. "I'll be seeing you again soon, Harry," he whispered into Harry's ear.

Harry jerked back, pulling his arm from McCullen's grip forcefully. "If I _never_ see you again, it shall be too soon," he spat. His heart was racing as he walked with forced calm and grace toward the Great Hall. Once the doors closed behind him, he turned to see if McCullen would follow him in, and then moved to sit across from Hermione at the Gryffindor table.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Hermione asked. "It took you awhile."

"I'm fine," Harry replied, putting a bit of food on his plate, doing his best not to look at Ron's empty spot next to him. "I was just talking to Flitwick for a moment."

Hermione looked skeptical, but nodded her understanding. Harry looked up as the doors opened, his eyes widening a bit when he saw McCullen smirking at him. His heart rate increased, though he knew that McCullen wouldn't do anything with so many other people around. Harry felt ashamed that he was so frightened of one person, but he couldn't get the memory of his near rape out of his mind.

Hermione turned in her seat to see whom Harry was staring at, but she couldn't seem to find him. "Are you all right, Harry?" she asked. "You seem a bit nervous."

Harry looked at her, swallowing nervously, and said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping well, you know?"

Hermione nodded. "I know what you mean," she whispered, but she didn't elaborate. She didn't have to. Harry knew that she'd been dreaming of that day in Hogsmeade.

He looked at the food on his plate and realized that he hadn't taken any of the main course. When he looked over, he saw why. They were having fried chicken today. Looking around the table, he saw that neither Hermione nor Ginny had taken any chicken.

"Here, Harry," Neville said next to him, putting some chicken on his plate.

"I can't eat this," Harry replied, eyeing the chicken distastefully.

"Why ever not?" Neville asked, taking a big bite from his own.

"Chicken was Ron's favorite," Harry replied, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Looking across the table, he saw that Hermione had tears on her cheeks.

Neville's face fell as he realized his mistake. "Oh," he said. "Sorry."

Harry picked at the other food on his plate listlessly, the smell of the chicken making him very sad. "Come on, Hermione," he said, standing up suddenly. "We'll go to the kitchens and get something else."

Hermione nodded wordlessly, standing from her seat and taking Ginny's hand. The two girls followed Harry to the kitchens.

"Harry Potter!" Dobby the House Elf exclaimed when the trio entered. "What is you doing here? Lunch is already being served!"

"I know, Dobby," Harry replied kindly. "I don't think I much like chicken anymore. Can my friends and I have something else?"

"Of course, Harry Potter, sir!" Dobby agreed, bobbing his head enthusiastically. "What is you feeling like, Harry Potter? Dobby is being happy to get whatever Harry Potter and his friends is wanting!"

"Perhaps something with beef?" Hermione suggested shyly, apparently not thinking of her S.P.E.W. campaign.

"Right away, Miss!" Dobby exclaimed, rushing off to get their food. Harry, Hermione and Ginny sat at one of the tables, being served a large portion of roast beef with vegetables and mashed potatoes a moment later.

The three teens ate quietly, all of them aware that Ron's favorite food was just about any food besides corned beef.

* * *

**Author's Note: In response to the last chapter: What can I say? I'm just a sadistic person. Torturing Harry is so much fun, and it's too easy, really. Not that there's much in this chapter, but you know what I mean. The full sex scene may be viewed at hpfandom . net or ensnared . thehexfiles . net. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis, as always, for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Hittocerebattosai: I'm glad you're enjoying it.**

**Hikari-Aoi: Hehehehe, I'm not always this diligent. You should try reading one of my stories while I'm still writing it. It could take months to get an update. On a side note: shame on you for not telling your best friend… hehehe**

**LeeLeePotter: I could, but since I have no idea what anyone here really looks like, it be difficult to find you a hot partner. Besides, everyone likes the personal touch. Hehehe I edited the sex scene the way I did just for you, love.**

**Shadow Eclipse: That he is.**

**Jeni: Severus is strong enough for both of the, I think. For the time being, at any rate.**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Jason will get his, don't worry.**

**The Slytherin Prefect: I thought the Nice Dursleys would throw people off. That's the main reason why I did it… hehehehe**

**DestinyEntwinements**

**Ktoddhim**

**Pure Black: Severus will have his chance to be protective and cute, not to worry, m'dear.**

**Volume: It's coming, and it won't be pretty when he does, although it will be immensely satisfying. Hehehe**

**Itsasledgehammer: Hehehe… I named the character after my aunt. That's funny you share the name.**

**CogniDi: I believe what you're thinking of is psychiatric ward. It's almost the same. I hate math, which is why I turned to words. Good luck with that…**

**Sword and Magic: No, that's all right, really. LOL. Now, now, my lovely, no giving away plot points. Hehehe. Can't have the other readers getting carried away. **

**SexylsSnape126: Yeah, I ended up writing a sequel that negated the end of the first story, just to stop the outpouring of flames. I'm just a big softie, really.**

**Rosalia**

**Purplepaper: I had it up a while ago, but after I finished HBP, I deleted everything because I was thoroughly pissed off at JKR. Now, however, I've decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and hope that she'll fix it. One can dream, I suppose.**

**Elizabeth Patil**

**Jujube 15: I quite agree.**

**Mariana: Er… it gets worse before it gets better, just so you're aware.**

**Zak and Ivan: Killing him was drastic, but I had fun doing it. Hehehe. I must ask, though; are you actually two people, or just one person talking to himself? I'm most interested.**

**Sh'arra Rie: No, he doesn't _tell_ him, exactly…**

**Chibi-Kaisie: I know. I just can't help myself. I'm too sadistic for my own good, I think.**

**Nimeariel: Not _telling_ so much as… well, you'll see what I mean later.**


	28. Forever Unforgiven

**Author's Note: There is a violent scene of rape in this chapter (truncated, but violent just the same), as well as lots of emotional distress. If this squicks you, please don't read it.**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

**Forever Unforgiven**

**ONE**

Harry finished his Transfiguration exam with a flourish, happy to be done with his last test of the year. He sat back in his seat, trying not to think of his summer away from Severus, but happy to be leaving McCullen behind, if only for a little while.

"Done so soon, Mr. Potter?" McGonagall asked as Harry turned in his test.

"Yes, Ma'am," Harry replied. "I've been studying diligently."

McGonagall gave him her tightlipped smile of approval as she accepted his test. "You may go, Mr. Potter," she said. "Enjoy your free time before the end of term feast on Monday."

"I will," Harry said with a small smile. "Thank you, Professor." He walked down the aisle, giving Hermione a reassuring smile as he passed, and went to his and Severus' quarters.

He sat down with a sigh, thinking again of McCullen and his strange actions over the past few months. He used to always taunt Harry in the hallways when they were alone, but curiously, he'd backed off over the last month or so. Harry supposed that someone must have seen McCullen doing something and told the headmaster. As a result, McCullen was giving up his pursuit of Harry. At least, Harry hoped that was the case. He smiled as he felt Severus' pleasure at seeing him.

"How did everything go?" Severus asked, sitting down next to Harry and placing an arm around the teen's shoulders.

"I think I passed all of the tests, if that's what you mean," Harry replied, leaning into the comforting embrace gratefully.

Severus squeezed his shoulder saying, "I'm sure that you did. All you ever do anymore is study."

Harry shrugged, not saying anything. He knew he'd been distant since January, but he couldn't bring himself to be any other way. He felt that by being close to people, he was putting them in danger. He knew his friends and his lover would never let him push them away, but it didn't stop him from pulling away.

"What are you going to do over the summer?" Severus asked.

Harry shrugged again, feeling despondent at being away from his love for two whole months.

"You'll memorize all of your course books off by heart, no doubt," Severus went on. "You've become quite the Ravenclaw as of late."

Harry smiled slightly at the joke, nestling into Severus' arms and sighing in content.

"I will remain at Hogwarts, as usual, and try to relax," Severus said as though Harry had responded to him. He'd become quite proficient at holding one-sided conversations with Harry. "I am going to attempt to build up my relaxation so that I might be able to withstand the idiocy of the new round of dunderheads that will no doubt invade these halls come September."

Harry smiled again, but did not laugh. He could feel Severus' disappointment that the joke had failed, but he couldn't feel it in him to laugh. It felt like blasphemy to laugh when Ron couldn't do the same; when Ron, in fact, would never laugh again. Harry swallowed the lump he felt rising his throat, fighting back the tears.

Harry felt Severus sigh heavily as he squeezed Harry's shoulder again. "I'm sorry, but I have to patrol tonight," he said.

"Okay," Harry whispered, sitting up so that Severus could stand. Severus bent and gave Harry's forehead a kiss.

"Try not to stay up too late, hm?" he said, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

Harry nodded and watched as Severus left the rooms to begin his rounds. After a moment, Draco entered the room and sat at the chess set without a word. Harry understood, and moved to join the blonde.

"I'm playing black tonight," Draco announced with an arrogant tilt of his head. "I think you could use the advantage of playing first."

Harry smiled a bit at the jibe and gave a shrug. "Maybe," he agreed, and so they played.

"I am so going to kick your ass," Draco stated as they neared the end of the game, most of Harry's white pieces sitting on the table in front of Draco.

"I stink at this game," Harry replied, moving his queen to defend his king. The fire flared just then, and a strong feeling of hate filled the room. Both teens spun toward the sound, but before Harry could react to the sight of McCullen standing there smirking at them, his wand drawn, Harry was Stupefied.

**TWO **

Jason was thrilled to have overpowered both boys. He'd Stupefied Harry and put Petrificus Totalis on the Malfoy boy, just as the boy drew his wand. Jason laughed at the stupidity of the teen. He moved Malfoy into the corner and fondled him through his clothes.

Malfoy's eyes were staring at him in horror and fear, making Jason smirk in delight.

"Not to worry, Draco," he purred as he continued to molest the teen. "I'll play with you as soon as I'm done with Harry." He placed a kiss on Malfoy's frozen lips before moving to stand in front of Potter's unconscious form. He lifted Potter's wand, looking at it with satisfaction. "Enervate!" he said, waking the boy and relishing in his momentary confusion. "Good evening, Harry," he said gleefully.

Harry shot to his feet and searched his pockets frantically.

"Looking for this?" Jason asked, holding up the boy's wand. He twirled the wand in his fingers, smirking at the surprised look in Potter's eyes. "I don't think you'll be needing it," he said. He grasped the wand in both hands and snapped it in half, gold and green sparks flying as he did so.

Potter's eyes widened in horror. "Bastard!" he whispered furiously, positively shaking in anger.

"Tut, tut," Jason said, waving a finger at Potter. "Such language, Harry. You didn't think I'd let you leave for the summer without saying goodbye, did you?"

"Just what gave you the impression that I _wanted_ to say goodbye to you?" Potter snapped angrily. "Why don't you just leave, right now?"

"No," Jason said, pretending the think about it. "I don't think I will." He moved toward Potter quickly and was very surprised when Potter's fist met his jaw with surprising force. He growled angrily and threw himself at the boy, and a furious fight ensued. Potter was quite a good fighter for a boy his age, but Jason supposed that he should have expected as much.

He punched Potter hard on the chin, sending the boy to the floor in a daze. Jason wasted no time in jumping on top of the boy, ripping his robes, sending buttons flying all over the room. He then did the same to the boy's tee shirt. Unfortunately for him, Potter wasn't just lying still and taking it like a good little boy. He lifted a leg, wrapped it around Jason's front, and attempted to knock the man off of him. Jason, who was an experienced fighter in both magical and Muggle fashion, managed to keep from losing his place on top of the boy, but found a hard punch aimed at his ribs.

He regained his balance and punched Potter in the nose, sending blood pouring down the boy's face. He wrestled with Potter until he could grab his arms and forced them above the boy's head, pinning them there with one hand.

"My, my, aren't we feisty," he murmured, and Potter spit on his face, trying again to dislodge him. Jason grimaced and wiped the spittle away with his free hand, and then used his wand to divest them both of their remaining clothes. "I'll have you properly, this time," he purred into Potter's ear as the boy continued to struggle beneath him.

Potter snarled angrily and lifted his leg with a swift motion, his knee catching Jason in the groin.

"You little whore!" Jason exclaimed angrily, punching Potter hard in the gut, expelling all of the air from the boy's lungs. Jason pulsated with excitement as he hit Potter again, the crunching sound of a breaking rib very satisfactory to Jason's ears. "You're mine, you little slut," Jason growled, forcefully lifting one of Potter's legs and pushing it forward until it was straining, leaving Potter wide open and ready for the taking.

Potter tried to fight with that leg, but Jason's grip on it was just too strong. Jason used what small amount of wandless magic he could to bind that leg there.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard," he whispered into Potter's ear, enjoying the panicked look that came into the boy's eyes. "You'll be feeling me inside of you for a month," he purred, relishing in the anguished cry that escaped Potter's lips, though it was a quiet cry. Potter renewed the intensity of his fight at this new invasion and Jason decided that he'd had about enough of Potter's disobedience. He wrapped his hand around that pale throat and squeezed hard, even as he continued to violently abuse Potter's body. Potter tried to fight him off, but before long, he passed out from lack of oxygen.

**THREE**

Severus walked along the dark halls of Hogwarts, heading to the infirmary to check the stores, a feeling of unease growing inside of him with each step he took. He didn't understand what was causing the feeling, so he did his best to ignore it. As he opened the door to the infirmary, he saw that Poppy was not alone. Minerva was there as well, chatting happily with the nurse.

"Good evening, ladies," he greeted with a slight nod of his head.

"Severus," Minerva said, sounding a bit surprised to see him. "What brings you up here in the dead of night? You're not ill, I hope."

"Don't be so ridiculous, Minerva," Severus countered. "I am never _ill_. I've come to ask Poppy if she needs anything restored in her potions stocks."

"Oh!" Poppy exclaimed, moving to her cabinets. "I'll have to check. I haven't done my inventory yet."

Severus rolled his eyes at her procrastination, thinking that her late start on the inventory would give him a late start on brewing her potions, thus reducing the amount of free time he had to enjoy over the summer.

"It looks like I need more Pepper Up," Poppy said from inside the cabinet. She continued listing off things that she needed, but Severus' awareness of her or, indeed, the rest of the infirmary was gone.

"_Severus, help me!" Harry's voice cried out in his mind. _

"_Harry?" Severus asked in confusion, unable to remember any time when Harry had properly pronounced his name._

"_He's going to kill me!" Harry screeched._

"Harry," Severus whispered, his dilated pupils focusing again on Minerva's concerned gaze.

"Severus, what is it?" Minerva asked sharply.

"I must return to my quarters," Severus announced briskly. "If both of you would accompany me." It wasn't a request, and he didn't give either woman a chance to protest, instead leaving the ward quickly. He broke into a run in the corridors, the intensity of his need to reach Harry growing with each step. He heard Poppy and Minerva shouting for him to slow, but he ignored them, a blinding panic filling him as he ran.

He reached the door, broke through wards that weren't his without a thought and witnessed something he'd never wanted to see. Harry was naked and unconscious on the floor, Jason on top of him. Severus reacted without thinking.

"_Reducto_!" he exclaimed, his wand aimed precisely, throwing Jason forcefully into the wall where he crashed with a satisfactory thud. Severus didn't hear the two women rushing into the room after him, or their horrified screams at the scene. He rushed Jason, kicking the fallen man forcefully in the ribs, his wand forgotten on the floor where he'd dropped it.

"Severus, wait!" Jason begged too weak from his raping activities to fight back.

"BASTARD!" Severus roared, his entire body shaking with rage. "I'LL KILL YOU!" He hauled Jason up by the neck, kicking and punching every bit of the man he could reach. Blood was pouring from Jason's nose and mouth, but Severus hardly noticed, continuing his enraged assault. Suddenly, two hands wrapped around his waist, pulling him back, and Minerva was standing in front of him, holding him tightly.

"Severus, no!" Minerva begged, struggling to keep him from the now unconscious man on the floor.

"LET GO OF ME!" Severus raged, fighting her grip to get the Harry's rapist. "I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL KILL WITH MY BEAR HANDS FOR WHAT HE'S DONE!"

"Dear gods," Poppy whispered behind them, causing Severus to spin around quickly. Poppy was scanning Harry carefully, looking for the damage that needed to be repaired.

Severus instantly forgot about the man on the floor, all of his rage replaced by intense concern for Harry. He barely registered the quiet sobbing in the corner. He stumbled as he shoved passed Minerva and fell to his knees beside Harry's prone form.

"Harry?" he questioned softly, knowing that he wouldn't receive a response.

"I need to get him to the bedroom," Poppy said gently. "There's a lot to repair here."

Severus nodded miserably, and helped Poppy get Harry to his bed.

**FOUR**

"There now, Draco," McGonagall cooed as she held Draco, rubbing his back gently.

Draco didn't care that he was being held by Gryffindor's Head of House. He didn't care that he was crying in a manner unbecoming of a Malfoy. All he cared about was that Professor Snape had entrusted Harry's safety to him, and he'd failed at his duty miserably. Harry had been viciously raped, and he would have been too if the professors hadn't arrived when they had.

"_Draco, there are… unsavory persons present in the castle," Professor Snape said seriously. "As much as I would prefer to remain here, the headmaster has assigned me patrolling duties this evening."_

"_What unsavory persons?" Draco asked, unable to think of anyone who would pose a threat to any of them. "Who could get in here?"_

"_Have you learned nothing!" Professor Snape snapped angrily. "Never assume that you are safe, no matter how secure the location!"_

_Moody's voice rumbled through Draco's mind _"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" _"Yes, Professor," he muttered._

_Professor Snape inhaled deeply and sighed, running a hand over his face. "Listen to me," he said. "Make sure that neither of you are alone at any time. Do you understand?"_

"_Yes, sir," Draco replied._

"_Be prepared for anything, and do not go to bed until I have returned."_

"_Yes, sir. I won't let anything happen. We'll be fine."_

Draco lifted his head from McGonagall's shoulder, wiping his eyes as he did so. When he looked up, he saw Dumbledore standing in the open doorway, taking in the carnage with an expression as close to shock as Draco had ever seen on the old man's face.

"What's happened here?" he asked McGonagall, the ever-present twinkle in his eyes nowhere to be seen.

McGonagall suddenly looked stern and very angry. "A student has been raped and another threatened," she said sharply.

Dumbledore seemed to deflate at her pronouncement. "Where are they?" he asked, sounding very old and tired suddenly.

McGonagall pointed wordlessly toward Harry's bedroom, and Dumbledore moved off quickly in that direction.

"Who is he?" Draco asked, looking at the bloodied man on the floor near the door to Professor Snape's bedroom.

"Jason McCullen," McGonagall replied, also looking at the man with disdain. "The new Caretaker's Assistant." She frowned deeply as she looked at the man. _'Albus should have listened when Severus told him about that man,' _she thought. Even her thoughts were clipped with barely suppressed rage.

A bang issued from Harry's common room, followed by the quick exit of Professors Snape and Dumbledore.

"I _told_ you this would happen!" Professor Snape was growling. "I told you and you _chose_ to ignore it!"

"Severus, I'm sorry," Dumbledore said patiently. "I made a mistake in judging his character. There's nothing that can be done now –"

"A mistake?" Professor Snape asked incredulously. "A MISTAKE! A BOY HAS BEEN RAPED AND NEARLY KILLED BY THIS MANIAC, AND YOU CALL IT A MISTAKE!"

"Severus, please listen to me," Dumbledore pleaded.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOMS AND TAKE THAT FILTH WITH YOU, BEFORE I KILL HIM!" Professor Snape roared, pointing a shaking finger at McCullen's unconscious body.

"Severus," Dumbledore tried again, reaching out to touch Professor Snape's arm.

"I SAID _GET OUT_!" Professor Snape screamed, jerking out of Dumbledore's reach. The professor looked like he'd love nothing better than to incinerate the old man where he stood.

McGonagall rose from her spot next to Draco and put her arms around Professor Snape's back. "Perhaps it would be better for you to go," she said to Dumbledore, her voice even, but cold as ice.

Draco flinched slightly at her tone, having had it directed at him on numerous occasions. Dumbledore sighed, took out his wand and levitated McCullen from the room. Professor Snape waved his hand out angrily and the door banged closed on its own accord.

McGonagall stared for a moment before turning back to Professor Snape. "Severus, you must try to calm down," she said gently, unsuccessfully trying to lead him to the sofa.

"You want me to calm down?" Professor Snape growled. "Have you not seen what has happened here, woman? How can you say such a thing?"

Draco began to tremble unconsciously at the vicious tone, remembering the lurid thoughts that had passed through McCullen's mind when he'd been touching Draco. He stared wide-eyed at his professor, knowing Snape was no threat, but feeling frightened nonetheless.

"I saw what happened, Severus," McGonagall soothed. "But you must calm down. You're frightening Mr. Malfoy."

Professor Snape turned his coal eyes to Draco and his expression softened immediately. He slowly moved to Draco, sat down on the floor, and pulled Draco into a strong embrace.

"I'm so sorry, Draco," he muttered in Draco's ear. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Draco's sobbing returned full force as he clung to his professor's robes, unable to say anything through his tears. He didn't blame Professor Snape for what happened. He blamed McCullen, and from what he'd heard, he decided to blame Dumbledore as well. It seemed that Professor Snape knew McCullen somehow, and knew that the man wasn't trustworthy. Snape had told Dumbledore this, and Dumbledore hadn't listened. Essentially, it was his fault that they were all in this position.

Draco fought to regain control over his emotions, and when he'd calmed enough he said, "I don't blame you, sir."

"How can you not?" Professor Snape asked. "I should never have left you alone here, knowing that man was in the castle."

"How were you supposed to know that he could get in here?" Draco asked. "It's not your fault."

"I believe it is, Draco, at least to some degree," Professor Snape denied. "But I will accept your pardon."

Draco sighed his disapproval, but nodded anyway. He knew he could do nothing to assuage Professor Snape's guilt. "I'm sorry too," he said. "I didn't even react until he stunned Harry. I wasn't vigilant, like you told me to be."

"I never expected that you would have to be," Professor Snape comforted. "I never should have asked such a thing of you." They both turned to the door as Madame Pomfrey entered.

"I healed all of the physical damage," she muttered sadly. "It will be something else to repair his spirit. I've given him a Dreamless Sleep potion, so he should sleep through the night."

"Thank you, Poppy," Professor Snape said.

"Severus, how did you _know_?" Madame Pomfrey asked.

"I just did," Professor Snape replied sadly. "I didn't know soon enough, I'm afraid."

Madame Pomfrey nodded, silently placed a vial on the table, and left the room, closing the door behind her. McGonagall was nowhere to be seen, and Draco wondered when she had left.

"Sir?" Draco asked timidly, drawing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them.

"Yes, Draco?" Professor Snape said distractedly, staring into the fire.

"May I please see Hermione?"

"Draco, I don't think –"

"Please, sir? I need to see her. Please?"

Professor Snape watched him for a moment, sighed and said, "Very well, Draco. I shall ask Professor McGonagall to bring her."

"Thank you, sir," Draco replied.

Professor Snape simply nodded, standing to move to the fireplace. As he reached it, he paused, turning his head to look at Draco askance. "Draco, how did McCullen get in here?"

Draco didn't want to answer that, but knew he had no choice. "Through the fire, sir," he whispered. He watched his professor's motionless form as all of the color drained from the man's face.

"I never even thought to ward the floo," Professor Snape muttered, more to himself than to Draco. "Foolish. Utterly foolish." He shook his head, moved to the fire, threw some floo powder in and called, "Minerva!"

McGonagall stepped from the floo almost immediately, dusting off her robes daintily. "You called?" she asked, casting Draco a worried look.

"Mr. Malfoy requests the presence of Miss Granger in his quarters," Professor Snape said.

"Severus, I don't think that—" McGonagall started.

Professor Snape pulled her aside and began whispering to her urgently.

'_Comfort? How could she offer any comfort at a time like this?' _McGonagall thought as Professor Snape continued whispering. _'Oh, I see. Emotional support from a loved one.' _

"Very well, Severus," she said. "I will bring her at once."

Draco looked at the floor for a moment, wondering where they would go from here, but no answers were forthcoming. He sighed, deciding that he would move one step at a time from here. There was nothing else for it; things were, once again, out of his control.

**FIVE**

Hermione rubbed her eyes sleepily, wondering what had woken her.

"Wake up now, Miss Granger," McGonagall's voice whispered near her head.

"Professor McGonagall?" she asked in confusion, rubbing her eyes and looking up at McGonagall's shadowed face. "What's going on?"

"Come along, child," McGonagall said gently, passing Hermione her dressing gown. "Something's happened."

Hermione quickly pulled on her dressing gown and quietly followed McGonagall out of the dormitory. "What's happened?" she asked once they'd reached the common room.

"I'm afraid I can't give you details," McGonagall replied. "It is not my place. Mr. Malfoy has been through quite an ordeal this evening, and he's asking for you."

Hermione nodded, not needing any further information. If Draco was distressed enough to ask for her, and for McGonagall to pull her out of bed in the middle of the night, then something big must have happened. She only hoped that Draco was all right.

They walked through the castle silently, Hermione wondering what could possibly have happened to convince McGonagall to pull her out of bed to see her boyfriend. Various horrid and unlikely scenarios passed through her mind, only to be dismissed as figments of an overactive imagination.

When they reached Snape's door, McGonagall knocked softly.

"Come," a dejected voice said from the inside causing the door to swing open. Snape looked up from his hands, which he was staring at blankly, and said, "He's in his room." He returned to his hand watching, looking very sad indeed.

"Thank you, sir," Hermione said quietly, feeling that she had intruded upon something intensely personal.

"Have a good night, Miss Granger," McGonagall said, turning to go.

"Thank you, Professor," Hermione said as McGonagall closed the door. She watched Snape for a moment before moving toward Draco's door.

"Take the potion with you," Snape said without looking up.

Hermione's eyes searched the room and found the vial on the table near Snape's bedroom door. She picked it up and went into Draco's room, reading the label as she walked. _'Why would Draco need Dreamless Sleep?' _she wondered, worry blossoming fresh inside her mind.

Draco was pacing his common room when Hermione entered. He turned when she came in and crossed the short distance between them quickly, pulling Hermione into a tight hug.

"Draco?" Hermione asked with concern, holding Draco protectively.

"Oh, Hermione," Draco whispered into her hair, sounding miserable. "I love you so much. So very much."

Hermione was very touched and very concerned all at once. "I love you too, Draco," she said honestly, feeling for the first time that she could hold Draco forever and never tire of it. Reluctantly, she pulled away from the hug to look into Draco's distraught eyes. "What's happened?" she asked.

"Please don't ask me now," Draco pleaded with her. "I'll tell you tomorrow, I promise, but please don't ask me now."

Hermione embraced him again, a worried frown on her face. "Okay, Draco," she whispered.

"I just want to hold you forever," Draco said, pulling her closer to him.

"You won't hear me arguing," Hermione joked, trying to lighten the somber mood just a bit.

Draco laughed a bit, a slightly hysterical sound that made Hermione's heart clench with worry. She pushed back a little and pressed the small vial to Draco's chest gently. "Professor Snape asked me to bring you this," she said.

Draco took the vial, swallowing deeply as he did so, and whispered, "Thank you."

Hermione reached up to caress his face, wondering at what could have shaken him so. He was usually so strong, like a rock she could depend on, that it frightened her to see him so shaken. "Let's just go to bed," she said, leading him to his bedroom. He was already pajama clad, so he climbed in first, holding his arms out for Hermione to join him. Hermione shrugged off her dressing gown, draped it over the footboard of the bed, and got in next to Draco, resting her head on his chest.

"Thank you for coming," he whispered.

"I wouldn't leave you alone when you obviously needed me here," Hermione replied gently.

Draco grabbed his wand from the nightstand and doused the lights before downing the vial of Dreamless Sleep and falling into a deep rest. Hermione lay awake for a while, wondering what could have caused Draco's distress. She kissed his chest gently, laid her head down and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

**SIX**

Severus sat in front of the old man, glaring at him with anger. "You cannot possibly be suggesting that we send Mr. Potter home for the summer after what has happened to him."

"It will be good for him to be around his family," Dumbledore replied patiently. "They will help him to move on. I have sent them a letter explaining what has transpired."

"So you have broken his trust again by telling them something that is only his to tell," Severus remarked, narrowing his eyes.

"His family has a duty to know and to help him," Dumbledore said.

"His family will not help him, Headmaster," Severus grated. "They wouldn't know what to do, or care to do it if they did."

"I think you are underestimating them," Dumbledore said.

"I think you have too much blind faith in human kind," Severus returned. "Have you learned nothing from this? Jason wanted sanctuary because he didn't want to kiss the Dark Lord's robes any longer. It in no way meant that he was a decent human being."

"And he sits in Azkaban now for his crimes," Dumbledore said.

"So what?" Severus asked. "Putting him in Azkaban does not change what has happened. Do you realize that Mr. Potter may never recover from this? That he has been through so much that this may just be the straw that broke the camel's back? Do you fail to comprehend the severity of what has happened? He was raped, Albus! This isn't child's play! He needs to be around people who understand him and can help him through this!

"Mr. Malfoy was there. He was threatened as well. He can relate to the pain Mr. Potter is going through. Have any of those Muggles ever come to anything even _close_ to this? If you send him back to those Muggles, he may lose _two months_ of time that he could have used to come to terms with this. He will only wallow in self-pity if left in that house essentially alone."

"He will not be alone, Severus," Dumbledore denied. "He will be with family."

Severus stood quickly, his anger at the old man rising dramatically. "Unfortunately, I have no power to overrule your decision. You have already damaged him irreparably. If he comes back to this school any worse off than he is now, I swear, I will not be held responsible for my actions."

Dumbledore sighed heavily, watching Severus with very sad eyes. "No one hurts more for him than I do, Severus," he said. "I do not deny that it was my decision which brought this upon him, but I cannot pick and choose who I help without sufficient evidence. I am sorry that this happened, but I cannot apologize for giving Jason a chance."

"Then you are nothing more than an old fool," Severus spat. He placed a parchment on Dumbledore's desk. "This is my resignation notice. I will continue to teach during the next school year. That should give you ample time to find a replacement."

"Severus, you cannot –"

"I can and I have," Severus interrupted. "I believe I told you before that I would never forgive you if Jason harmed one of the children in this school. I was not bluffing. I do not count you amongst my friends. I do not trust you, and I do not wish to work under you any longer." He didn't wait for a reply, storming out of the office in a flurry of billowing black robes.

* * *

**Author's Note: Just so everyone knows, Jason gets his. Not to worry. To view the full rape scene, please go to hpfandom . net or ensnared . thehexfiles . net. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work. Thanks also to…**

**Ktoddhim**

**Lillyseyes**

**LeeLeePotter: You're welcome.**

**Chibi-Kaisie: Fanfiction . net has a policy about graphic sexual content. If the story is too graphic, it will be deleted and the author will be banned from the sight, hence the censorship. Severus is going to… lose his temper and get midlevel on Jason's ass… hehehehe The new story is not all in German, but it does have some German characters. I've decided not to post it until it's completely written, so it might be awhile before you see it.**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**DestinyEntwinements**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Sword and Magic: Thank you.**

**Nicky12330**

**Jujube 15: Hehehehe**

**Dracosbaby08**

**Sh'arra Rie: It does, but I'm only following JKR's formula, after all. Granted, I may be a bit more… violent about it than she is, but she started it…**

**Jeni: Not exactly what you had in mind, but Severus _did_ find out in the end…**

**Rosalia: Got your review right as I was getting ready to post. Good timing, m'dear.**


	29. Revenge, Confessions and Betrayal

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

**Revenge, Confessions and Betrayal**

**ONE **

Harry sighed heavily as he stepped out of Uncle Vernon's car and looked up at number 4 Privet Drive. This place felt so empty to him, after everything that had taken place here in years past.

"Come along, Harry," Uncle Vernon said, carrying Harry's trunk into the house. "Your aunt has been waiting to see you."

Harry entered the house behind Uncle Vernon, acutely aware that he was being treated far more tolerably than ever before. He wondered at what could have caused Uncle Vernon to be so nice, but dismissed it as more of the Dursley's new and improved attitude toward him.

"Harry!" Aunt Petunia cried, coming out of the kitchen and wrapping her arms tightly around Harry's waist. Harry tensed up at the contact, still unable to feel a human touch after being violated so harshly only a few days previously. Aunt Petunia must have noticed his discomfort because she released her hold on him and stepped back. "How are you, Harry?" she asked.

Harry shrugged, looking at his feet to avoid her eyes. Severus had told him that the Dursley's were aware of what happened to him. He didn't like the idea that Dumbledore had told them without even asking him first, but he shrugged it off. Did it really matter anymore? His life had fallen apart completely in less than a week's time. Did it really matter whether the Dursley's knew? Certainly not.

"Are you hungry, dear?" Aunt Petunia asked after the silence had become rather oppressive.

Harry shook his head a bit, not lifting his eyes. He felt as though he was on display in the zoo. A sign would be over his head on the cage reading, "Boy-Who-Couldn't-Fight-Back-And-Win". People would come from all over to see him and laugh at his misfortune.

Aunt Petunia sighed heavily, turning a _look_ on Uncle Vernon, at which Harry wondered. What did that look mean? He sighed again. Who cared what the look meant? It wasn't as if the Dursley's could travel back in time and keep him from being raped.

"Why don't you get some rest, Harry?" Uncle Vernon suggested as he began to carry Harry's trunk up the stairs. "I know the train ride must have been rough."

Harry shrugged, but followed his uncle up the stairs nonetheless. He didn't care where he was, as long as he was alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He didn't want to see anyone. He wanted to vanish into a puff of black smoke and never return. In short, he wanted to die. The only thing that kept him alive was Severus' love, and he wasn't sure if he was just making that up, or if Severus really did love him. Severus had never said as much, but sometimes, when he would look at Harry, Harry could swear he saw love there.

"Sleep well, Harry," Uncle Vernon said as he dropped Harry's trunk at the foot of his bed. "I'll see you at breakfast."

Harry nodded a bit, still not looking at his uncle. As the door closed with a soft 'click', Harry moved to his desk and set Hedwig's cage down, opening it so that she could fly out of the open window. Instead, Hedwig flew to his shoulder, affectionately nipping his ear as though to ask 'what's wrong?'

Harry stroked her feathers lightly. "I'm okay, Hedwig," he whispered, the first time he'd spoken since the rape. Hedwig hooted her disbelief, butting her head into his hand.

Harry sighed, opening his trunk and removing his Potions text, intent on keeping his mind occupied. He didn't want to remember McCullen's hands on him. He didn't want to remember what Severus had told him the day after the rape with a sullen and guilty inflection in his dulcet voice.

**TWO**

Severus wondered still if he should have told Harry just how he knew Jason. Harry hadn't said a word when he woke, nor when Severus told him of his relationship with Jason. In fact, Harry hadn't spoken at all before leaving Hogwarts to go to his relatives for the summer.

Severus sighed, rubbing his hands over his face tiredly, trying to stop the images of his past from entering his mind. Harry would need him to be strong when he came back to Hogwarts. Severus knew from first-hand experience that being raped was not something one forgot easily.

"_Severus, you are such a lovely boy," Lucius Malfoy purred into fourteen-year-old Severus' ear. He kissed along Severus' jaw, wetting the skin with his tongue. "I'm going to fuck you through the floor boards."_

"_I'm not in the mood for _fucking_ right now, Lucius," Severus replied, feeling rather soiled by the young man's attentions. He'd never liked Lucius, but he now had to put up with him._

"_Isn't that a shame, Vent?" Lucius said maliciously. "_I_ am in the mood, therefore _your_ opinion on the matter makes no difference."_

"_Lucius," Severus protested. "Can't we wait until a bit later?"_

"_What was that, Vent?" Lucius asked, glaring at Severus with his too pale eyes. "I don't think I heard you correctly."_

_Severus swallowed heavily, knowing that his life or death hung in the man's blood soaked hands. "C-caretaker," he stuttered. "I- I asked if we could wait until later."_

"_I think not, Vent," Lucius snarled, ripping Severus' robe open, fabric tearing and buttons flying everywhere. "I want you _now_."_

_Severus struggled against the blonde, not wanting to be touched any longer. "Let go of me!" he cried when Lucius tightened his grip._

"_Impudent little whelp!" Lucius growled, dragging Severus by his hair to the bed. "You will learn _respect_, Vent, if I have to beat it into you!" He threw Severus onto the bed, conjuring ropes to bind his arms and legs to the bedposts. Once he was satisfied that Severus' struggling would produce no results, Lucius magicked Severus' clothes away as well, his eyes roaming appreciatively._

"_Please, Caretaker!" Severus pleaded, struggling to free himself from the binds. "Not like this! Please!"_

_Lucius stripped slowly, watching Severus fight as he did so. "You will learn to follow orders, Vent," he said. "When I say I want to fuck, you're supposed to strip and hold that delectable ass at the ready." Once he was completely disrobed, he crawled onto the bed._

"_Please, Caretaker," Severus begged. "I won't do it again."_

"_Ah, the slut learns quickly," Lucius remarked. "Perhaps I shall _drive_ the lesson home, as it were." With that, he roughly took Severus without warning._

Severus felt like quite the little slut after that encounter, unable to even _look_ at Jason, then his boyfriend, for nearly a month afterwards. He hadn't, however, stopped speaking all together as Harry seemed to have done. How pathetic he was at fourteen, begging Lucius to leave him be. How amused Lucius must have been to break him. It had taken four more rapes for Severus to do as Lucius had suggested. When Lucius said he wanted to fuck, eventually Severus did indeed strip and hold himself at the ready.

"_I should have killed that bastard the moment he arrived here,' _Severus thought bitterly, thinking again of what Jason had done to Harry. _'What a perfect little Death Eater he is, raping someone that way without a second thought. I'll kill him yet.'_

With that thought, Severus stood from his seat and moved to the door of his rooms. It was the middle of the night, so no one would notice him missing, not that there were many people around _to_ notice. Only Dumbledore and Poppy stayed at Hogwarts during the summer, so he shouldn't have much trouble.

Once away from the castle grounds, Severus Apparated to Azkaban Prison, intent on finding his wayward ex-lover. Azkaban was too good a fate for filth like Jason McCullen. He stared up at the imposing structure passively, feeling for the wards surrounding it. He could see the magic shimmering around the walls, protecting it from penetration. He nearly laughed at that: as though a few pesky wards could keep a Spellweaver out. Ridiculous. The wards were a mere inconvenience, nothing more.

He picked his away along the rocky terrain until he stood by the doors. He lifted his hands before him, pushing his magic out and deconstructing a part of the wards until the door was left unprotected. After that, he pushed his way inside, not bothering the check for guards, as he knew the only guards around would be Dementors, and he would have no trouble avoiding them.

It took him nearly an hour to locate Jason's cell, and when he did, he sneered in disgust. Jason was rather clean looking and sleeping peacefully. Clearly, the Dark Lord had ordered the Dementors to leave Jason be. Well, a lot of good that did Jason now. It wouldn't matter _what_ the Dementors did with him once Severus was through.

He used his magic again to unlock the cell, slipping inside silently and warding it so that Jason could not escape through the open door. He poked Jason forcefully with his forefinger, and then stood back to wait for the filth to wake.

Jason stirred, sitting up slowly and rubbing his eyes. He looked around in confusion. "Severus?" he asked when his eyes spotted Severus standing by the wall.

"Hello, Jason," Severus said as though greeting a good friend. The sneer on his face told a different story.

"What are you doing here?" Jason asked carefully.

Severus laughed. "Oh, silly Jason," he purred. "Surely you didn't think I'd let you get away unpunished? No, no, no, no, that wouldn't do at all."

Jason looked very frightened as he watched Severus. He knew what Severus was capable of, especially in the throes of rage.

"Unfortunately, I haven't much time to play with you, or I would make this more interesting," Severus commented. "As it is, I don't feel that Azkaban is enough punishment for you."

"What do you want from me?" Jason asked.

"I want you to die," Severus replied. He'd decided not to use his wand this night, as it would incriminate him should anyone suspect. Wandless magic was second nature to him, as he was practically _made_ of magic now. "_Discerpere," _he whispered, holding his hand out to Jason.

Jason's screams echoed through the prison as his body began to stretch grotesquely. His arms went first, tearing from the sockets with a satisfying snap. Blood spurted from the wounds as Jason screamed in absolute agony. Next were his legs, ripping out and falling to the floor, twitching from reflexive nerve impulses, Jason's screams intensifying. After that, the sound of bones crunching and skin tearing announced the separation of Jason's upper body from his lower body. Severus smirked as Jason's bottom half fell off the bed, his intestines falling limply out of the bloody wound. Finally, a loud crack echoed about the cell as Jason's neck severed from his upper torso, his head falling to the pillow and rolling until it hit the floor.

Severus walked to where the head had landed, smirking evilly at it. He bent down and lifted it up, ignoring the blood dripping onto the floor by his feet. "You picked the wrong person to cross, Jason," he said. He dropped the head on the floor and watched as it slowly stopped bleeding, the expression of pure agony forever etched onto its lifeless face.

Severus looked around the cell with satisfaction, taking in the blood that was coating almost every surface. No one touched what belonged to Severus Snape and lived to tell the tale. Jason McCullen would never hurt another innocent soul again.

Severus decided that since he was here, he might as well go and check on Miss Zabini. He thought he might like to kill her off as well. Turning from the bloody cell, he walked briskly to the women's ward, not bothering to close Jason's cell behind him. It wasn't as though Jason was going to escape now, after all. It took him nearly another hour to locate the wench, and when he did, he was very disappointed.

Zabini was covered with filth, much of it her own, and was very obviously quite insane. The little whore never did have much stamina. Severus grimaced at the stench issuing from the cell and turned on his heel, deciding that she had gotten her just deserts.

Sighing with disappointment at being denied his second revenge, Severus turned and left the prison, Apparating back to Hogwarts for a nice comforting glass of absinth. He sighed as the first sip trickled down his throat, warming him slightly, and easing the tension from his body. He knew that Dumbledore would know what he'd done and wouldn't be able to prove it or do anything about it. Severus smirked at the thought. "For you, Albus," he said, lifting his glass in a toast. "May you forever wallow in your guilt."

**THREE**

Hermione sighed tiredly as she dropped her things on the floor in her room. She dropped on her bed, closing her eyes, one arm draping across them to block out the light. She felt very sad and useless at her inability to help Harry. He'd been completely silent on the train, choosing to stare out of the window for most of the trip.

With Harry's permission, Draco had told Hermione all that had happened to them that night. Afterwards, he pulled her to his room for a few personal confessions he'd been keeping from her.

_Draco paced the room nervously as Hermione waited patiently for whatever it was that Draco wanted to tell her. He sighed, passing his hand through his hair in that nervous gesture that Hermione found so adorable._

"_Okay," he said. "There's really no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt." He sat heavily on the bed next to Hermione. "I have to say it all at once, so please don't interrupt, okay?"_

"_Okay," Hermione replied gently, taking Draco's hand in hers._

"_When I was little, about four, I suppose, my father used hug me a lot," Draco began. "He'd tell me that I was such a good little boy, whenever I did as he said without asking questions. I was so small; I only wanted to please him, to make him love me more._

"_Around the time I turned five, father started to… touch me in ways that weren't necessarily appropriate. He'd purr in my ear and tell me I was good, and that I'd make him proud of me one day. He'd hit me if I protested, saying that I was being disobedient. 'Don't you want to make Father proud?' he'd ask me. Naturally, being so young, I eventually gave in, thinking that all little boys did these things for their fathers."_

_Hermione swallowed thickly, trying to hold back the desperate tears that wanted to spill._

"_I'm not sure how much you know about the Death Eaters," Draco said, seemingly changing the subject. "In order to become one, you have to be a Vent. Sex slave," he explained at seeing Hermione's blank expression. "I know now that Father was preparing me for that, never mind that Voldemort had fallen by that time. He raped me for the first time when I was thirteen. _

"_I came home for the summer after third year, and he pulled me aside. He said it was time for the next phase of my training. He took me to his bedroom, threw me on the bed and… well, I'm sure you know the mechanics of sex. At any rate, it was a common occurrence from then on. When Voldemort was resurrected, I was immediately named as Father's Vent. He had another Vent at the same time, but I never saw him. Mother knew what was happening, but she ignored it, the same way she ignored everything else. I'm not entirely certain that she cared._

"_Anyway," Draco said, running a hand through his hair again. "I was Father's Vent until Voldemort attacked the school last year. It was over then." He looked at her with a pinched expression, as though expecting her to pull away from him in disgust._

"_Oh, my Draco," Hermione whispered, unable to stop the tears coursing down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry."_

_Draco shook his head. "You didn't know, and if you did, there wouldn't have been anything you could have done. It doesn't matter now." He took her hand in both of his. "I have one more thing to tell you."_

"_I'm listening," Hermione whispered, afraid of what he would say, but knowing that it needed to be said._

_Draco took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment, and then looking into her eyes. "I'm a Telepath," he said bluntly._

_Hermione was floored. "When did this happen?" she asked._

"_Do you remember when I was stuck up in the Hospital Wing?" Draco asked. "It happened then. I had my Majority then. I could only see one person at a time because I could hear everyone's thoughts. That's… that's why I haven't been able to go to classes."_

"_And that's why you asked Harry to stay," Hermione said. "And why you're staying with Snape and him now. They're both Occlumens, so you can't hear their thoughts."_

"_Yes," Draco replied._

'Why didn't you tell me before?' _Hermione thought._

"_Because I didn't want to scare you away," Draco said, catching Hermione by surprise. He looked at his lap and said, "I'm sorry. I can't control it yet, so everything you think filters into my head."_

_Hermione understood now why Draco couldn't be around her for very long. It must be terrible for him to have to hear every solitary thought she had._

"_It is," Draco said. "I… I understand if you, er, don't want to see me anymore."_

"_Draco, don't be daft," Hermione admonished, smiling fondly at him. "I love you. So you're a Telepath. So what? You're learning to control it, I'm sure, and I'll be here for you every step of the way."_

_Draco pulled her into his arms. "Thank you," he said. He groaned slightly after a moment and pulled away from the embrace, holding his head in his hands._

"_I guess I should go," Hermione said, pecking his cheek. "I'll come and see you before the train leaves."_

_Draco stood, pulling her into his arms again. "I love you," he said, bending his head and placing a tender kiss on her lips._

"_I love you too," Hermione said after the kiss. "I'll see you soon."_

Hermione sighed again. Life was getting to be far too dramatic: so many things happening to the people around her, and her, powerless to stop it. She felt terrible, thinking of her poor Draco trapped in those dungeons, unable to be around people because of his gift. She didn't want to cry, but it seemed to be all she could do anymore.

"Hermione!" her mother called from downstairs. "Get down here!"

Hermione sighed, not looking forward to yet another confrontation with her mother. She rose from the bed and made her way to the sitting room, wondering what her mother could possibly want now. "Yes, Mum?" she asked.

"You're coming with me to work tomorrow," her mother announced without looking up from her logbooks. "I want you to work at the reception desk."

"I have homework, Mum," Hermione objected.

"You can work on it when you get home," her mother snapped. "I won't have you bringing that filth to the office. Now, go to bed. I expect you to be ready to go in the morning."

"Yes, Mum," Hermione said dejectedly. Her mother had been very aloof and cold since Hermione had started at Hogwarts. Of course, to strangers she praised her daughter's brilliance and talent, but in closed quarters, she did everything in her power to make Hermione feel like nothing. Hermione was just grateful that her father accepted her as she was, no questions asked.

She trudged back up the stairs, intent on getting a head start on her homework. One more year, and then she could get a job in the wizarding world. _'Just one more year,' _she told herself, pulling her history text from her bag.

**FOUR**

"You are doing much better, nene," María complimented as Draco closed off his mind from her.

"Harry was a good teacher," Draco replied.

"Sí, I have seen as much," María said absently. "We are ready to begin the next phase. You must be willing to work with me. Harry will not be able to help you with this part."

Draco nodded. "I think that perhaps I was a bit hasty before," he said. "Forgive me?"

María smiled a bit at that. "Forgiven, mijo," she said. "Now, you can keep your thoughts guarded. The next step is to block out mine. Focus your mind, as though you are doing Occlumency."

Draco closed his eyes, clearing his mind as instructed. He could _do_ the Occlumency, but he wasn't quite able to do it without thinking yet. With his mind clear, he could hear María's thoughts perfectly.

"Very good, nene," María said. "Focus on my thoughts. Acknowledge them and let them slip away like water."

Draco could acknowledge the thoughts, but letting them go was something else altogether.

"Breathe deeply, Draco," María said. "The thoughts are nothing. Let them pass through your mind. Dismiss them as unimportant."

That was easier. As he continued the exercise, he noticed that the frequency of the thoughts began to diminish, until they were gone altogether. He sighed with relief. "Thank you," he said. "I don't think I could have taken much more of that."

María raised an eyebrow at him. "I have done nothing, nene," she said.

"Of course you did," Draco negated. "You started Occluding."

"No, Draco," María said. "I am not Occluding at all."

Draco stared at her, astonished. "You're not?"

"No," María replied with a small shake of her head and a small smile. "_You_ are blocking me out."

Draco completely relaxed his mind, and her thoughts began pouring in again. "Wow," he muttered in disbelief.

"I told you it would be easier if you learned Occlumency first," María commented slyly. "Was I wrong?"

"Most assuredly not," Draco said, sitting heavily, running through the exercise again. He sighed when her thoughts vanished once more.

"You must keep doing it as much as you can, until it comes without thought," María instructed. "I will help you with this. You have good potential, Draco. You will go far."

Draco smiled at her. "Thank you for helping me," he said.

"You are welcome," María replied. "I think you will be able to go back to school next year. You learn fast, when you want."

Draco laughed a bit at her, an occurrence which had become increasingly rare since June. "I do," he agreed.

**FIVE**

Harry sighed, thinking of the next week when he could finally go home to Hogwarts and Severus. He knew that the Dursley's were trying, but they simply had no idea how act around him anymore. They treated him like a piece of glass that would shatter if they weren't careful.

Harry had pushed all of his bad memories to the back of his mind and locked them in a box, hoping to never release them again. He knew he was fooling himself, though. Once he returned to Hogwarts, Severus would probably want a kiss, or a hug, and Harry knew that he wouldn't be able to give it. Just the thought of someone touching him made him feel faintly ill.

"Harry?" Aunt Petunia asked, grabbing her purse from the table. "Are you ready to go?"

Harry nodded and followed his aunt to the car. They were going to Diagon Alley today to pick up Harry's school supplies. He didn't like the idea of being so exposed with his aunt, but he knew that he had to pick up his things. He also knew that Aunt Petunia was extremely nervous about going into a wizarding area, but was grateful that she was putting up a brave front.

They moved about Diagon Alley quickly, Harry wanting nothing more than to get back to number 4 as quickly as possible. The hero-worship was getting to him. He didn't think he could shake another person's hand without breaking down completely.

He stepped out of Flourish and Blotts, happy that the shopping was finally done.

"Is that everything, Harry?" Aunt Petunia asked, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

Harry nodded. He led the way towards the Leaky Cauldron, hoping that no one would touch him. As they neared the pub, a spell sped passed him, nearly singeing his sleeve. He spun around, pulling Aunt Petunia behind him without thinking, and found himself confronted with three Death Eaters. He cursed fluently inside his head, knowing that his magic was extremely averse to offensive spells since his Majority.

"Potter," one of the Death Eaters said hatefully. "The Dark Lord requests an audience."

Harry nearly laughed at the absurd phrasing. _Requests _an _audience_? Were they serious? "You can disrespectfully give him my refusal," he said coldly.

"Tut, tut, Potter," the one on the right said. "I'm afraid he won't take 'no' for an answer."

"Too bad," Harry replied, hating the way his voice broke at times, but knowing it was his own fault for not speaking for so long. He could tell that it was only these three, but the whole of Diagon Alley seemed suddenly deserted. Typical: the patrons were relying on Harry to save them from this threat, without any help, as though hundreds of witches and wizards couldn't take on three Death Eaters.

That's when the magic started flying. Harry couldn't send any particularly harmful spells their way, as it would drain him just to cast them, but he could use spells like Stupefy and Rictosempra, and other less violent spells. They laughed at his spells, saying they weren't fighting some schoolboy's duel. Harry gritted his teeth, keeping his body firmly between Aunt Petunia, who was throwing discarded objects from behind him, and the Death Eaters.

Their spells became increasingly dangerous as the duel went on, and Harry was amazed that he was still holding his own. He cast another Stupefy at the trio, which was dodged easily, and cursed fluently in his mind again.

Suddenly there was a loud crack, and someone, a tall _blonde_ someone, was standing in front of Harry. The new arrival cast Discerpere at the trio almost at once. "Get out of here, Potter!" he yelled, his voice very familiar.

Harry didn't think twice. "Thank you!" he cried, and then grabbed Aunt Petunia's arm and raced from Diagon Alley as quickly as he could. Only when they were once again safely ensconced in number 4, did Harry realize why that man had seemed so familiar. Mike, Severus' old Vent, had rescued Harry from the Death Eaters. Harry sat stunned in the Dursley's living room, wondering why the man would have saved his life that way. He barely noticed when his aunt placed a cup of strong, hot tea on the table in front of him.

"Who were those people?" Aunt Petunia asked, her voice still shaking slightly.

"The bad guys," Harry replied blankly, still wondering at Mike. Who was the man working for, now that he was no longer a Vent? Dumbledore, perhaps? It seemed possible. Dumbledore was well known for providing sanctuary to those who asked for it. McCullen was a perfect example of that.

"Why were they attacking _us_, of all people?" Aunt Petunia asked.

Harry snorted disdainfully. "Because I'm _Harry Bloody Potter_," he said, picking up the teacup and taking a sip.

Aunt Petunia shook her head. "Don't talk that way, Harry," she said.

"Do you remember Voldemort?" Harry asked, taking another sip.

"Yes," Aunt Petunia replied, shuddering a bit. "How could I forget that awful summer?"

"Those men were his followers," Harry explained. "They're a bit sore with me for defying their master."

"Won't they come after you?" Aunt Petunia asked fearfully, looking out the window as though expecting to see Death Eaters lining the street.

"There are protective wards here," Harry said, leaning back. "They can't find me as long as I'm here."

"What if the wards fail?"

"They won't fail as long as you're alive."

Aunt Petunia stared at him with disbelief. "I'm not a witch!" she exclaimed, sounding almost frantic in her denial.

Ah, so she still wasn't over her problem with magic. "No," Harry said. "But you are my mother's sister. She sacrificed her life to save mine, and so it is blood magic. Your blood relation to me, as well as you willingly taking me in, put the wards up. My mother's love, and your acceptance, has kept me safe for many, many years."

Aunt Petunia set her teacup on the table, her hand trembling slightly. "I never thought that something like that was possible," she muttered. "I thought that old man only sent you here because we were your last living family."

"I know," Harry said, rubbing his face tiredly. "Thank you for taking me in, by the way. I'd be dead by now if you hadn't."

Aunt Petunia swallowed. "You're welcome," she whispered. She turned her eyes to the front door as it opened and Dudley stepped in.

"Hey, Mum," he said, and then his eyes narrowed as they landed on Harry. "What are _you_ doing down here? Tired of being holed up in your room already?"

"Dudley, be nice," Aunt Petunia said distractedly.

"I was speaking with my _aunt_, cousin," Harry replied, deliberately reminding Dudley of their relation to each other.

Dudley stared incredulously at hearing Harry speak. Harry wasn't talking the last summer, and this was the first Dudley had heard him doing so this summer. "Whatever," he said shortly. "I'm spending the night at Pier's. I just came home to get my stuff."

"Have fun, Duddykins," Aunt Petunia said, still sounding somewhat dazed.

"I think I'll go get some rest," Harry said, standing up. "Thank you for the tea."

Aunt Petunia waved him away dismissively, still looking out the window.

Harry moved up the stairs and flung himself on his bed, deciding that talking really wasn't worth it. All he'd managed to do was make Aunt Petunia worry. What a waste. He decided that from now on, he wouldn't talk unless it was important. That was the best way to do things; any other talking was just wasted words to fill the silence. Harry didn't so much mind silence any more. He'd grown rather used to it over the summer.

* * *

**Author's Note: As usual, the NC-17 bits can be found at ensnared . thehexfiles . net or hpfandom . net. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Purplepaper**

**Chibi-Kaisie: hehehe, I hope this answered your question.**

**Hikari-Aoi: Sounds good. I'm going to be a Renaissance Lady.**

**Ktoddhim**

**LeeLeePotter: I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Shieemi Shimabukuro**

**Shadow Eclipse: That would be funny. I can just see Dumbledore's devastated expression… hehehe _"My sherbet lemons! NOOOOOOO!"_ Hehehehe**

**Sh'arra Rie: I wasn't much pleased with them either. I'm hoping the last one makes up for some of it.**

**Rosalia: Did you enjoy watching Jason die? I know I did.**

**Nimeariel**

**Mariana: Things do get better… eventually**

**Jujube 15: Yes, he should**

**Street-Rats-Unite**

**Zak and Ivan: I have pink hair, myself. Hmmm, handcuffs, eh? Kinky.**

**SexylsSnape126**

**DestinyEntwinements: He's going into seventh year now.**

**Jeni: You weren't saying too much, m'dear. I like to see the readers' opinions.**

**Nicky12330**

**Alister: I'll just send the whole thing. I'm too lazy to find all the juicy bits… hehehe**

**Dracosbaby08**

**HAPPY HALLOWE'EN TO EVERYONE! **


	30. Poring

**Chapter Thirty**

**Poring**

**ONE **

Severus was worried: very, very worried. School had been in session for three months and Harry had yet to say a word to anyone. He was eligible for the Quidditch team again this year, now that he wasn't ill any longer, but he had declined. He didn't say 'No' he simply shook his head and walked away. Draco had continued the D.D.L. alone when Harry had simply stared at him after the topic came up. Harry spent all of his time poring over books.

He woke early in the morning and sat in his common room, doing homework weeks ahead of time. After he finished with that, he would open library books and take extensive notes on all sorts of subjects, including things he was not studying in school. He spent hours poring over books, ignoring the world around him, devoting all of his attention the art of learning. He was becoming a right Hermione Granger.

Harry was currently sitting in front of Severus' fire, scribbling notes on some subject or another. Severus watched him quietly, wondering what it would take for Harry to heal. "Harry," he said softly.

Harry turned to look at him curiously, quill still poised over parchment.

"Why don't you take a break?" Severus asked. "Go outside for a bit. You haven't been outside of the castle for weeks. Don't you want to see the snow?"

Harry shook his head a bit and then went back to his note taking.

"I'm serious, Harry," Severus pressed. "You spend entirely too much time reading and taking notes. I'm worried about you. Go outside and take a break."

Harry turned again and gave Severus a look, which said quite clearly, "I've no wish to go outside."

"If you don't take a break soon, I'll take away your unlimited pass to the Restricted Section. I never would have given it to you if I had known that you would disappear into the pages of books."

Harry heaved a very put upon sigh and stood, placing his quill carefully on a spare piece of parchment. He looked Severus in the eyes, tipped his head to the left and gave one sharp nod before heading to the door. After it had closed, Severus sighed, covering his face with his hands and rubbing his temples.

"Well done," Draco said behind him, coming out of his rooms. "You got him to go outside." He sat in the armchair to Severus' left.

"I shouldn't have to threaten him to get him outside," Severus muttered, not bothering to look at Draco. "I've spent two years healing his body. I haven't the strength to heal his spirit."

"I'm not so certain that it's broken," Draco replied calmly. This caused Severus to stare at the blonde incredulously.

"Explain," he said.

"Haven't you noticed the things he studies?" Draco asked. "He's trying to find a way to win this war."

"I can't imagine why that would be," Severus snipped in irritation. "With his offensive spells practically useless, he's going to need a miracle to destroy the Dark Lord."

"His offensive magic still _works_, he just needs to conserve his energy before using it."

"So tell me, Draco, just how he's supposed to conserve energy in the middle of a heated battle."

Draco shrugged. "How should I know?" he asked. "Perhaps that's what he's trying to find in all of his books."

"If he keeps up, he's going to know more magic than Dumbledore," Severus replied. "_That_ is a frightening thought."

Draco snickered lightly, standing up from the chair. "You always said that he had potential," he said, stretching in a very cat like manner. "Perhaps he's simply trying to prove you right."

"Yes, and perhaps you're going to turn into a charming person one day," Severus groused.

"Hey!" Draco objected, pointing his finger at Severus. "I'll have you know that I'm _very_ charming."

Severus snorted.

"Hermione thinks I'm charming," Draco said.

"Yes," Severus replied. "And she also thinks that _Hogwarts, a History _is an interesting book. Forgive me if I have little faith in her opinions."

Draco laughed openly at that. "Point well taken, Professor," he said.

**TWO**

Harry walked slowly, thinking that perhaps Severus was right; he did miss the snow. He listened as it crunched under his feet, making him smile slightly.

"Hi, Harry," Hermione said from his right.

Harry turned to her, still smiling about the snow.

"How are you?" she asked. "I haven't seen you out in a while."

Harry shrugged in an 'I'm okay' sort of way.

"May I walk with you?"

Harry nodded a bit to let her know it was all right. They continued to walk slowly, heading for the lake, which had yet to begin freezing over.

"Draco is doing a wonderful job with Dumbledore's Defense League," Hermione informed him. "He does so seem to enjoy teaching, or perhaps it's that he's helping people. He doesn't like to talk about it, so I try not to bring it up. It _is_ very different without you there. Won't you reconsider?"

Harry shook his head a little. He simply didn't have the time to waste it on the D.D.L. In addition, in order to _teach_ the students, he would have to _speak to _the students. He just didn't want to speak to anyone. He knew that Severus worried about his silence, but speaking took more energy than he was willing to use without good reason.

"What do you do all day when I don't see you?" Hermione asked then. "Every time I _do_ see you, you're reading something."

Harry shrugged. He knew what Hermione was trying to do. She was trying to ask open-ended questions so he would have to answer with words. _Dear, beautiful Hermione, _he thought fondly. _Always thinking on your feet. I bet you stay up nights, trying to think of ways to draw me out._

"Draco has asked for my hand," Hermione said softly.

Harry stopped walking and turned to stare at her. Draco had asked Hermione to marry him? When did _that_ happen?

"I don't know what to say to him," Hermione went on, looking quite despondent. "My mother is _never_ going to agree to this."

"Why?" Harry asked.

Hermione jumped at hearing his voice. "What?" she asked, staring at him.

"Why would your mother object?" Harry asked again. His voice sounded scratchy and worn, as though he had spent the whole of yesterday screaming at the top of his voice.

"Oh," Hermione said, looking slightly panicked. "I, er, you know, I've complained to her for years about how he used to treat all of us. She won't understand."

Harry watched her closely, thinking that perhaps she was lying to him. It occurred to him then that Hermione never talked about her parents. Sometimes she would mention that they'd gone on vacation somewhere or another, but she never said anything about her parents. He considered her a moment longer before nodding his understanding of her explanation. He didn't _believe_ her explanation, but he did understand it. She seemed to release her breath, raising Harry's suspicions over her answer.

"So you haven't given him an answer," he said.

"Well, no, not yet," she replied. "I told him to give me time to think it over."

"Do you love him?"

Hermione stared again. "Pardon?"

"Do you love him?"

"I… yes," she stammered. "Very much so."

"Then marry him, parents be damned."

"It's not that simple."

"It's your life to lead, not theirs. If you don't marry him, you'll spend the rest of you life regretting it, and for what. So that your parents won't wonder what got into you? Is that really a good price to pay for your happiness?"

Hermione frowned as they continued their slow trek around the lake. She seemed to be thinking hard. Harry couldn't believe that as intelligent as she was, _this_ was something she had to think about. After a few minutes she said, "You're right. I _will_ marry him. Mother can go straight to Hell if she doesn't like it."

Harry's eyebrow went up on its own accord at Hermione's language. He said nothing, though he wondered whether Hermione's life was as good as she liked to make people believe. Did Draco know what caused Hermione's discomfort? Harry doubted it.

"Shall we go inside?" Hermione asked after a few moments of silence. "It's freezing out here."

Harry watched her shiver for a moment before nodding his agreement. They walked into the school in silence.

"I think I'll go with you down to Professor Snape's rooms," Hermione said as they reached the stairs. "I want to give Draco my answer."

Harry nodded that it was all right and escorted Hermione down the stairs. As they entered the room, Harry proceeded to his spot on the sofa and continued his studies. He noticed Severus' raised eyebrow as Hermione went straight to Draco's room. After a few moments, Draco and Hermione came back into the sitting room looking exultant.

"We're getting married!" Draco exclaimed happily, lifting Hermione by her waist and spinning her in a large circle.

Hermione squealed in a most unladylike manner as her legs swung in an arch before touching down again.

Harry smiled softly at the happy couple before returning to his work. As he continued with his copious notes, he felt a sadness in the room that made him turn back around. He found Severus looking at him with a far away look, sadness permeating his entire countenance. He wondered what could be causing Severus to look so dejected, so he resolved to find out later on when they were alone.

"We're going to get dinner," Draco said happily. "You coming, Harry?"

Harry smiled at his friend, but shook his head.

"You're loss," Draco replied, before lifting Hermione into his arms and bounding out the door, Hermione demanding to be let down all the way.

Severus too watched them go, still looking very sad. As he turned back to his desk, he caught Harry watching him and attempted to look unconcerned. As Harry watched him, he remembered that day so long ago that changed their lives forever. He didn't remember everything, but he could recall sucking the Dark Magic of Severus' Mark out of his lover's body, healing him forever of his curse.

_He's been free of his burdens of that Mark since I healed… _Harry's thoughts trailed off as a new thought occurred to him, his eyes going wide with realization and renewed hope.

**THREE**

Severus turned to watch Harry when his young lover closed the book he had open with a snap and started going through his books frantically. He searched all of the books he had scattered around the table before rising and moving on to his common room.

Curiously, Severus followed him, finding Harry searching his overfull bookcase urgently. Harry moved on from there into his bedroom.

Severus stood in the door for a moment before asking, "What are you looking for?"

"I need medical books," Harry replied as he dug through his trunk. Severus moved to the bookcase and searched the titles, pulling out all the medical books he found.

"Why do you need medical books?" Severus asked as he handed the books to Harry.

"It was so _simple_," Harry murmured distractedly. "I don't understand why I didn't see it before." He was looking through the book on the top of the pile as he walked back to the sitting room, talking more to himself than to Severus. "He's _infected_, that what it is. I always thought I had to kill him. How could I have been so _stupid?_"

"What _are_ you talking about?" Severus asked, perplexed.

"Don't you _see?_" Harry asked excitedly. "I can't _believe_ I overlooked it!" He sat down on the couch, opened his book and began reading, after which Severus could gain no more information from him, no matter how he pestered. Harry seemed to have blocked him out as he became absorbed in his note taking.

**FOUR**

Harry's studying habits changed dramatically over the next several weeks. He went to the library every few days and took out dozens of books on medicinal magic. When he got them back to his room, he'd flip through them, looking for something specific (though Severus couldn't begin to imagine what) and then skim the chapters until he found what he was looking for, at which time he would copy entire paragraphs from the book.

Severus' favorite times became when Harry would sit on his sofa studying. At these times, Harry would go into long excited explanations of what he was reading, gesticulating energetically at one medical spell or another. Severus didn't understand most of what Harry told him, but he listened attentively to Harry's voice, noting the rises and falls as Harry explained the complexities of medical magic. Severus did everything in his power to memorize the sound of Harry's comforting tenor, unsure whether he would ever hear it again.

One night, one month before the end of the school year, Harry closed his last book with a sigh and sat back, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Severus was sitting next to him on the sofa, watching him with concerned eyes.

"Are you all right?" he asked gently, wanting desperately to touch Harry's hand.

Harry nodded, turning to look at Severus with a gentle smile on his face. "I can do it," he whispered.

"What?" Severus asked.

"I can win," Harry replied. "I never thought I'd find a way, but I have. I can do it."

"Win what?" Severus asked, feeling more confused than ever.

Harry didn't answer him, though. He simply watched Severus, a look of longing and sadness in his eyes. Severus could feel the overwhelming feelings Harry was experiencing, though he still didn't understand how.

"What's wrong?" he asked, taking Harry's hand in his before he had a chance to think about it. Harry looked down at their joined hands, but he didn't pull his away. Severus could feel the familiar magic traveling between them, warm and comforting, assuring him that Harry was still his, still healthy (if struggling) and that he wouldn't lose him any time soon.

Harry pulled his hand away causing Severus to close his eyes, unable to completely hide his disappointment at the loss of contact. Much to his surprise, he felt a tentative hand caressing his cheek gently. His eyes flew open to find Harry watching him closely as his fingers tickled over Severus' jaw.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, emotional pain coloring his voice. "So very sorry."

Severus covered Harry's hand with his own, stroking the back softly with his thumb. "Don't do that, Harry," he said. "None of this was your fault. If anything, I should be apologizing to you."

Harry smiled again as a lone tear slipped down his cheek. "Then we are even," he murmured.

Severus felt a wave of sadness envelope him at Harry's words. He swallowed thickly. "Yes, we are even," he agreed. Later, Severus wasn't sure how it happened, but as they watched each other on the sofa, they both leaned in until they were kissing. Harry pressed himself closer to Severus' body, his hand moving around the older man's head to caress his neck and pulled him closer. Taking Harry's lead, Severus wrapped his arms around the teen and held him close, feeling at home once again after nearly a year of physical separation.

As they got closer, the magic singing within both of them, drawing them together, a woman entered and exclaimed, "Ay Dios mio!"

They sprang apart and Severus turned to find María staring at them with her wand drawn and aimed at him. "You get away from him!" she yelled.

Severus stood slowly and backed away from Harry, keeping a wary eye on María's wand.

"Harry, nene, come here," María said, beckoning Harry with her free hand. "I won't let him hurt you anymore." Harry stayed where he was, pleading with her with his eyes. "Vamanos," María said, beckoning him again.

Harry stood as slow as Severus had before him and moved between María's wand and Severus.

"Get out of the way, Harry," María said gently. "I'll stun him and take him to the headmaster."

Harry very slowly shook his head from side to side, remaining where he was stubbornly.

"Harry, just…" Severus started, but Harry gave a look of such intensity that he fell immediately silent.

Just as María opened her mouth to persuade Harry (in her gentlest and most condescending voice, no doubt) Draco walked in, freezing on the spot when he saw the drama taking place in Severus' sitting room.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking between María and Harry nervously.

"Señor Snape has been molesting Harry," María explained angrily. "Harry, come away from there. I won't let him hurt you."

"Bloody Hell," Draco murmured, looking suddenly angry.

Harry, for his part, released all of the shields surrounding his mind, bombarding Draco and María with memories from his past. Severus, who wanted to know what was going on and so began Ligilimizing Harry, witnessed again all of the pain and suffering Harry had gone through when first he was placed in Severus' care. It was nearly excruciating to witness it in Harry's point of view, so he stopped just as Harry reached the memory of their first time together.

María began sobbing under the onslaught of Harry's memories, which weren't only being released, but forced upon her by Harry's formidable will. Draco and María both were holding their heads as the memories and emotions kept pouring into them relentlessly until María yelled, "Stop!"

No sooner had the word left her mouth did she and Draco drop to their knees, still holding their heads, María still sobbing. For a long time, María's cries were the only sound in the room as its occupants adjusted to the shock of Harry's very soul revealed.

Harry moved forward and kneeled before María, still a good meter away, and waited for her to look up. When she did, he stared at her intently, pleading silently for his lover's safety.

"It is still wrong, nene," she murmured. "I cannot allow it. He is _using_ you."

Harry shook his head again, just as slowly as the first time, placing himself once more between María and Severus.

"I cannot allow this," María said resolutely. "I will summon the headmaster. He will put a stop to this." With that, María rushed out the door.

"Bloody fools!" Draco exclaimed, moving quickly to follow her. "How many times have I told you to be discreet?" He slammed the door hard as he left the room.

Harry turned and looked at Severus sadly, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. Severus pulled Harry close to him, and held him tightly as his shoulders shook with sobs.

**FIVE**

"María, stop!" Draco yelled as he caught up to the angry Puerto Rican. "Don't do this."

She turned to face him, a look of incredulity adorning her face. "What!" she exclaimed. "Are you loco?"

"No, just listen to me!" Draco pleaded, holding her arm to prevent her from continuing on her way to Dumbledore's office. He looked around for a door and pulled her into an empty classroom down the hall. "You can't turn him in."

"Why not?" María asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "You think it's fine that he's molesting your classmate?"

"He's not _molesting_ anyone," Draco snapped. "Don't you understand that they love each other? Take Severus away and Harry won't have anything left to fight for."

"He has good friends," María said. "You will help him through it."

"No!" Draco exclaimed. "You don't get it, do you? _We_ cannot give him what he needs! He _needs_ to feel loved. He _needs _to know that he's worthy of that kind of feeling from someone! The only other person he ever cared for _betrayed_ him to the Dark Lord! Don't you understand that Professor Snape is the only person Harry will ever trust to be that close to him? If you get Snape locked up, Harry will never recover and it will have been entirely _your_ fault!"

"But –"

"But nothing! Haven't you ever loved someone you weren't supposed to?"

María thought for a moment before slowly nodding her head.

"Don't you remember what it felt like to hide it from everyone? Don't you remember how much it hurt? How could you do that to them? Professor Snape is the only person who will ever understand Harry because he was there for most of it."

"Harry is only a _boy_, Draco," María pleaded. "Like you. Severus is a grown man taking advantage of a boy's pain. Can you not see what he is doing?"

"I only see two people who need each other," Draco replied coldly. "If you go to Dumbledore and get Professor Snape thrown in Azkaban for child molestation I will _never_ forgive you."

"I don't need your approval, Draco. I am here only as your teacher."

"Then you will no longer be. I refuse to take lessons from a cold, heartless wench."

"You cannot do that!" María exclaimed, horrified. "You need these lessons to function as a Telepath!"

"I. Don't. Care." Draco spat. "You've taught me enough so that I might function as a regular wizard, and that's enough for me. I never wanted this _gift_, so you take your lessons and shove them up your pompous ass. You turn them in, you may as well go straight back to Puerto Rico." Draco knew he wasn't playing fair, but at this point, he was willing to do anything to keep her away from Dumbledore.

María sighed. "Do what you must," she said, moving toward the door. "I will do what I must."

Draco searched his brain frantically for a way to keep her from telling. "I'll expose you!" he blurted.

María paused and turned to look at him. "What?" she asked.

"I'll tell the world that you're a Telepath," Draco said. "I'll tell them your name and where you live. You'll never be anonymous again. I even have a picture of you that I'll give them."

"You're bluffing," María said, not sounding too sure.

Draco, of course, had no such picture, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt Harry or Professor Snape. "I don't bluff," he said, his voice colder than ice.

They stared at each other for a long time before María spoke. "Very well, Draco," she said in a defeated tone. "You win, but remember this: Whatever hurt Harry experiences because of this will be on your head, not mine."

"So be it," Draco said, knowing that Professor Snape would never hurt Harry.

**SIX**

"Sh, Harry," Severus comforted, holding Harry to him protectively. It had been a while since Draco had come back with the news that María was going to keep quiet, but Harry had only just stopped crying.

Harry pulled back from Severus' body to look his lover in the eye. They stared at each other for several minutes, Harry's red eyes still glistening from his tears. Severus felt extremely guilty for what had transpired that day, blaming himself for never being strong enough to say no to Harry when he should have.

"Don't do that," Harry said gently, touching Severus' cheek affectionately.

"Do what?" Severus asked.

"Start feeling guilty about all of this," Harry replied. "It's not your fault."

"Yes –"

"Stop." Harry placed a finger on Severus' lips. "Don't say it. Please." He removed his finger and leaned up to replace it with his lips before Severus could say a word. They held each other tightly; their passionate kiss conveying love, trust and hope to each other. When they separated, Harry gave Severus a significant look before disappearing into the bedroom. When Severus entered, he found Harry sitting on the bed, his outer robe draped over the armchair in the corner.

"Harry?" Severus asked uncertainly, realizing that this was the first time since the rape that Harry had entered his bedroom.

Harry waved him over. When Severus reached the bed, Harry grabbed a fistful of robe and lay back, pulling Severus on top of him.

"We don't have to this, Harry," Severus said softly.

"I want to," Harry replied, kissing Severus' jaw. "Just nothing… inside. Not yet."

Severus nodded his understanding, feeling extremely nervous about Harry's sudden decision. Before bending to give Harry's lips the attention they deserved he said, "If you want to stop…"

"I'll tell you," Harry assured him. He pulled Severus down until their lips met and they began kissing languidly. They had been apart for so long that the magic was practically roaring through their veins, closing the rift that had been building between them those many months. Severus began slowly and carefully pulling open the buttons on Harry's shirt, waiting for any sign that his young lover was uncomfortable. "I'm not made of glass," Harry whispered in his ear, making him shiver with delight.

"Buttons," Harry murmured. "Why must you always wear so many buttons?"

Severus chuckled delightedly. "To aggravate you, of course," he replied as he nibbled gently on Harry's earlobe.

"No doubt," Harry said, working Severus' buttons loose with one hand.

As soon as Severus got Harry's shirt opened, his smoothed his hand over the taught flesh of Harry's chest and abdomen, wondering how he had survived so long away from his love. He pushed the fabric out of the way and kissed his way down Harry's jaw down to his chest, sucking gently on the tender spots that never failed to make Harry squirm. He sucked the left nipple into his mouth and sucked until it was a hard nub before moving on to the next.

"Open," Harry whispered, and all of Severus' buttons simultaneously popped open. Severus stared at Harry incredulously as Harry slowly pushed the robes off of Severus shoulders. "Surprise," Harry said before pulling Severus down to kiss him again. They slowly removed each other's clothes, touching each exposed bit of skin with reverence.

As Severus moved down Harry's exquisite naked body, he decided to give his love a little treat. He swirled his tongue in Harry's belly button before moving lower down on Harry's abdomen.

They loved each other with lips, tongues, teeth and hands until they were both spent. After they had recovered, they took a quick bath before retiring for the first peaceful night's sleep for either of them in months.

* * *

**Author's Note: For the graphic scene, go to ensnared . thehexfile . net or hpfandom . net. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**Volume**

**Anarane Anwamane**

**Kears: Did you sleep well? Hehehehehe**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**Hikari-Aoi: My dress is blue and gray… very _Ravenclaw_, really.**

**DestinyEntwinements: I'll be sure to eat plenty**

**CogniDi: I'm evil, but even _I_ have limits to my sadism… hehehehe**

**Rosalia**

**SexylsSnape126**

**Sh'arra Rie: It was the scene where Severus was remembering what Lucius did to him. It was just a few choice words removed here and there.**

**Mariana: Not much more to go. I promise to make things better… eventually.**

**Hittocerebattosai**

**Jujube 15**

**Sword and Magic: Nah, he was careful**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Thedeathalchemist**

**Purplepaper: It may have been disturbing, but it was so much fun to write. Muahahahahaha!**


	31. All That I Do

**Chapter Thirty-One**

**All That I Do**

**ONE**

Harry woke around three o'clock that morning. He very slowly moved around in the bed, so that he could see Severus's face. His lover was still sleeping, his arms wrapped protectively around Harry's body, making it very difficult for Harry to get out of the bed without waking him. Earlier that night, before they had gone to bed, Harry had made the decision that Severus and Draco just weren't safe with him around. He seemed to draw bad luck to him like a magnet. He decided that the best way to protect them (especially Severus) would be to return to Gryffindor Tower where he belonged. The best way he could think of to say goodbye to Severus was by allowing him the pleasure they had shared earlier in the evening.

Harry leaned on his elbow as he watched Severus sleeping, the sadness enveloping him as he looked upon the complacent expression on Severus's face. "I'm sorry," he whispered miserably as he gently extricated himself from Severus's grip. Once he was out of the bed, he gathered up all of the little things that he had scattered about the room and placed them on top of his school robes. After that, he dressed and gathered up his little pile before returning to his bedroom.

"Dobby!" he called softly, hoping not to wake anyone.

There was a loud _crack_, and then Dobby was standing in front of him, bobbing up and down excitedly. "What can Dobby do for Master Harry Potter, sir?" the little elf squeaked.

"Sh!" Harry said to him. "You have to be very quiet so no one wakes up, okay?"

Dobby nodded, his bat-like ears flapping back and forth with the motion.

"I need all of my things moved back to my dormitory in Gryffindor Tower before morning," Harry explained. "Do you think you can do that?"

"Dobby is a good house elf!" Dobby exclaimed. "Dobby will move Harry Potter's things before morning! Dobby is being very happy to help Harry Potter!"

"Thank you so very much, Dobby," Harry said, giving the little elf a hug. "You don't know how much this means to me."

Dobby beamed at him before silently starting in on his things, zapping them from the room with a wave of his hands.

Harry watched Dobby work for a moment before going to his desk and pulling out a quill, ink, and parchment. He began writing slowly, uncertain about how to word his letter, but as he went on, he began writing faster and with more purpose, the words appearing on the parchment before Harry realized he had thought them. By the time he finished his letter, Dobby had already cleared Severus's quarters of all Harry's things. Harry rolled up the letter, wax sealed it and wrote "For Severus and Draco" on the outside. He placed the letter on Severus's coffee table before vacating the rooms.

He walked slowly down the darkened corridors of the school, doing his best not to think of what he was leaving behind. As he got to the top of the stairs leading to the ground floor, he walked right into someone.

"Watch it!" the someone drawled in a very familiar voice.

"Draco?" Harry asked, squinting in the dark. He saw Draco's blonde hair shimmering in the soft moonlight coming in through the windows.

"Harry?" Draco asked back.

"What are you doing up?" they both asked at the same time.

"Oh, er, well you see," Draco stammered, blushing the most amusing shade of pink. "Hermione thought she heard something, you see, so she called me to…"

"To snog her so she'd forget all about it?" Harry finished for him.

"Hey!" Draco protested. "It wasn't anything like that! She just wanted to… you know… cuddle."

Harry laughed softly. "You were cuddling?" he asked. "I don't believe you."

"I don't care what you believe," Draco retorted. "Besides, what excuse do you have for being out here at this time in the morning?"

"I had a bad dream," Harry told him. "I needed some air."

"Makes sense," Draco replied. "You just hurry up and get your air before you get caught out. I'll see you in the morning."

Harry nodded his agreement and waited for Draco to disappear down the stairs before continuing on his way to Gryffindor Tower.

As Harry climbed the stairs, he realized what he was doing and why. He gasped as the pain of it landed on him, his heart beating painfully in his chest as he struggled to keep the tears at bay. His vision blurred as his eyes filled with tears, but he refused to let them fall. He gasped out the password to the Fat Lady and stumbled up the stairs to dorm before crawling into his bed and placing silencing charms all around him. Once the charms were up, he let the torrent of tears fall, reveling in the heartbreak, knowing he deserved this pain.

**TWO**

The Tower was abuzz with the news this morning. Harry had come back to Gryffindor. No one had actually seen him yet, but the boys from his dormitory had all said that his things were back. Hermione was perplexed to hear about it. Why would Harry return to the Tower so unexpectedly? And even if it weren't unexpected, why would he return in the middle of the night? It just didn't make any sense.

After listening to the excited chatter of the rest of Gryffindor all morning, Hermione decided to go upstairs and find out for herself what was going on. She climbed the stairs to the boys' dorm, the rest of the girls cheering her on (though she barely heard them through her worry) and paused outside the door with 'Seventh Year Boys' marked on the outside. She took a deep breath and opened the door, recognizing Harry's trunk at the foot of one of the beds as soon as she stepped inside the room.

"Harry?" she called gently, noting the closed drapes on the bed. "Harry, are you up?" She listened carefully as she moved toward the bed, but didn't hear any sounds from within. When she reached the bed, she slowly pulled the curtains back to find Harry curled up in a ball on his bed, crying quietly.

"Oh, Harry," she said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "What happened?"

Harry didn't answer her, but he did sit up and pull her into a tight embrace, at which point he began sobbing into her shoulder.

"Harry, tell me what happened?" Hermione persuaded, worried about her friend.

Harry just continued crying and didn't say anything.

"Was it something Professor Snape did?" Hermione asked.

Harry shook his head vigorously.

"Was it Draco, then?"

Harry shook his head again, still crying on her shoulder.

"What then?" Hermione asked, perplexed. "Was it María?"

Harry sat up slowly then, looking down at his lap, and he nodded ever so slightly. Hermione would have missed it if she hadn't been looking for it.

"What did she do, Harry?" Hermione asked.

Harry just shrugged as if he didn't know. Hermione sighed heavily, pulling Harry back into her arms, knowing that he wasn't going to tell her anything, and to try to make him would be an exercise in futility. "Are you going to classes today?" she asked after a moment.

Harry sat back again, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve, and shook his head.

"I didn't think so," Hermione replied. "You just try to get some rest, okay? You look like you didn't sleep at all last night."

Harry nodded then, and lay down as Hermione held the blankets open for him. She tucked him in, kissed his forehead, and then proceeded back down to the common room, a crease of worry upon her brow.

**THREE**

Severus woke up just after dawn and stretched languidly before sitting up. He looked to the other side of the bed, and noticed that Harry wasn't there. "Harry?" he called out, thinking that perhaps Harry was in the loo.

He got out of bed and moved into the bathroom to find that it was empty. "Harry?" he called out again, thinking that maybe Harry was in the sitting room, studying. He opened the door and saw Draco sitting on the couch, but no Harry. He decided to check Harry's room, thinking that maybe Harry was looking for one of his books. When he entered Harry's common area he saw right away that the bookcase was empty.

"Harry?" he called out, wondering what happened to all of the books. When he entered Harry's bedroom, he saw that the room was stripped bare, all of Harry's books and personal belongings missing.

"He's gone," Draco said, as Severus came back into the sitting room, feeling dazed.

"Gone?" he asked. "What do you mean?" He sat down next to Draco on the sofa and noticed the roll of parchment on the coffee table with his and Draco's name on it.

"I saw him out last night," Draco said softly. "He said he just needed some air, but now I think perhaps he was lying about that."

Severus picked up the scroll and eyed the wax seal distastefully. "What reason has he to go?" he wondered aloud.

"He probably wrote his reason in the letter," Draco replied. "Maybe you should read it."

"Why didn't you read it?" Severus asked as he broke the seal. "It has your name on it."

"I thought it would be best if we were both present."

Severus nodded as he slowly unrolled the letter, trepidation burning at his insides. He read aloud:

_My dear Severus and friend Draco,_

_I'm sorry to go this way, without saying anything to either of you, but I knew that if I had stayed, you would have talked me out of what must be done. The situation with María made me realize just how much danger I have placed both of you in. I never meant for it to be this way. I hope that you can forgive me._

_I sat by and watched the world progressing around me while I stayed in my own little dream world, pretending that nothing can hurt me, no matter how much already has. I know that you will be angry, and I can't say that I blame you. I would also be angry, but please understand that there is no other way for me to do what I must. The fate of the world rests upon my trembling shoulders and I can no longer ignore my responsibility to the rest of humanity._

_Know that no matter what happens from here, I do this because I care for you, and I cannot imagine a world in which you must live in fear for your lives. It is very likely that I will not survive to see what the world is like without Lord Voldemort in it, but I will live long enough to know that I have destroyed him once and for all. Do not mourn my loss. I have come to see that this is the way it was always meant to be, and it could not have been any other way._

_Severus, to you specifically I owe many thanks and apologies. I apologize for getting you into so much trouble for so long. It is my fault that María nearly had you arrested. If I had just listened to you when you told me that it was wrong for us to be together because of my youth, you wouldn't be in the position in which you find yourself._

_I thank you for taking care of me and saving my life so that I might fulfill the prophecy and bring Voldemort to his rest. I know now what I must do, what I have done wrong the whole time I've known of him. I've hated him. I hated what he did to me and so many others. Hate will not stop him. Hate empowers him. Hate is what has allowed him to gain so much strength. I cannot hate him and hope to win. I must forgive him, and that is what I have done. Only through forgiveness will I be able to bring about his downfall. Maybe with that, he can go on to the afterlife and have something other than suffering waiting for him there._

_I ask that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all the pain I have caused you. Please forgive me for misleading you. Forgive me for allowing you to take me into your confidence and then betraying you the way I have. Most of all, forgive me for disrupting your life and giving you false hope of a future with me. I never meant to do that to you, but seeing as that is exactly what I did, I hope that you won't hate me for it._

_I want you to know that I am not angry with either of you. Nothing you have done influenced my decision to go. Remember that this is not your fault. I care for you and I will miss you, but all that I do, I do for you._

_Love always,_

_Harry Potter._

Severus rolled the parchment back up slowly as he considered Harry's words. 'I care for you,' not 'I love you.' _I knew he could never love me. Who was I trying to fool?_

"Well, that answers that question, then," Draco said. "He's planning to go head first into a fight with the Dark Lord, probably without a backup plan, and hopefully win on blind luck as he has in the past."

"Just shut up, Draco," Severus muttered, putting the letter in his pocket. "I don't want to hear your voice right now."

"Hey, I certainly didn't give him the idea to just run off like this!" Draco exclaimed sounding affronted. "He came up with that idea all on his own. Don't you go taking this out on me!"

"Just shut up! _Shut up!_" Severus exclaimed. "Your voice is giving me an aneurysm! Can't you just be quiet for once in your life?" He stormed out of the room angrily with just enough time to make it to breakfast.

**FOUR**

The first thing Severus noticed when he entered his seventh year N.E.W.T. level Potions class was that Harry wasn't present. He snorted softly. _Coward, _he thought ungenerously. _He's probably afraid that I'll humiliate him in front of the class the way I used to. Foolish boy._

The class passed without any problems, but everyone noticed Harry's rather conspicuous absence. Hermione Granger sat in her usual seat in the front row, looking anxious for the class to be over. As soon as the bell rang, she jumped from her desk and stood in front of Severus's.

"Sir," she said quietly. "I need to speak with you."

"What do you want, Miss Granger," Severus growled.

"Harry came back to the dormitory last night," Granger said. "He said that María did something, but he wouldn't say what. He was very upset. I thought you might—"

"I might what, Miss Granger," Severus snapped. "Am I his keeper? Has it suddenly become my responsibility to keep track of his social interactions for him? If you are so curious, why don't you ask María?"

"Sir, I didn't mean—"

"Enough! I haven't the time for this! If you haven't noticed, I have a rather large stack of homework assignments that are demanding attention. Good day." With that, Severus stormed out of the room, leaving a very confused Hermione Granger in his wake.

**FIVE**

Harry walked slowly and miserably through the crowded halls toward his Potions class. It had only been two days since he walked away from his life and he already missed Severus terribly. He was glad that he was coming to the end of his life because he couldn't imagine living years without Severus in it. Hermione had told him how Severus was with her, and he could only imagine what was going through the man's mind.

Harry sat in his seat and prepared his supplies silently. He hadn't spoken a word to anyone since he spoke to Draco the night he left Severus' quarters. His heart clenched painfully with each beat as he considered how much Severus must despise him. He knew when he left his letter that it wouldn't be enough.

The class filed in around him, most of them muttering about how they hoped Snape would be in a better mood today. He could only imagine how snarky Severus must have been that first day when he had skipped all of his classes. His absence had probably only served to exacerbate the problem.

When Severus entered the room in all of his black robed glory, Harry could feel the man's eyes boring into him.

"You will begin immediately," Severus growled. "Instructions are on the board." He waved his hand and the board filled with complex instructions on their latest potion.

Harry worked silently and diligently, never raising his eyes from his work. They were finishing on the Wolfsbane Potion today, and Harry knew this potion forwards and back. When he finished, with five minutes of class time left, he bottled his potion, placed it on Severus' desk and cleaned up his workstation.

"You will remain after class, Mr. Potter," Severus snarled.

Harry nodded without looking up, feeling that he could guess what Severus wanted.

"Are you going to be all right?" Hermione asked as she passed him on her way out. Harry nodded in response.

"You coming, Hermione?" Draco asked, taking her hand and standing next to her.

"Yes," Hermione replied, casting one last worried look in Harry's direction before heading out.

Harry couldn't help but notice that Draco hadn't spoken to him. No doubt, he was angry too.

Once the last student was out the door, Severus waved his hand, closing the door with a bang, and placed a silencing spell on it. "I just want to know why," Severus said without preamble. "You explained a lot of things in your little letter, but I still have no idea why."

Harry looked up into Severus' eyes and was pained to see the hurt there. He said nothing.

"I deserve an answer from you!" Severus shouted. "After everything, I deserve at least that!"

Tears came into Harry's eyes, but still he said nothing.

"Damn you, Harry!" Severus exclaimed. "Say something!" Severus crossed the room and placed his hands on the desk in front of Harry. "You used me for your own amusement and then vanished without a word! You owe me an explanation!"

Harry watched him quietly, wondering if he would survive through this conversation.

"TELL ME WHY!" Severus exploded angrily.

Harry rose from his seat slowly and placed his hand on Severus' chest, the two middle fingers folded in. "Because I love you," he whispered. With that, he picked up his bag and left the room before he could see Severus' reaction.

**SIX**

Severus stared at the closed door for several minutes after Harry left, his entire body quivering from the shock of what Harry said. Of all the things he had expected, that hadn't been one of them. He'd spent the last two days telling himself that Harry never really cared for him, and then the boy came and rocked his world once again.

"How can one person affect me this way?" Severus asked the empty room, running his hand over his face. His next class would arrive at any moment, and he was nowhere near composing himself. He went to his file cabinet, pulled out one of the pop-quizzes and sat behind his desk, wondering if he would survive through the day.

**SEVEN**

"Have you ever met someone who held sway over your whole life without even trying?" Severus asked Minerva after dinner that night as they lounged in the staff room. He was idly playing with a quill that was on the table, not meeting Minerva's gaze.

"I can't say that I have, Severus," she replied easily, sipping on her coffee. "Why do you ask?"

Severus sighed heavily. "No reason," he replied. "I just feel like I've fallen into a deep crevasse and cannot get back out again."

"It's just the end of the year, Severus," Minerva said. "You're wondering where you're going to go now that you've handed in your resignation."

"I only wish it was that simple," Severus muttered, standing up from his seat. "I have to finish grading some papers."

"Have a good evening, Severus," Minerva said. "Try not to get too stressed out."

Severus nodded at her and made his way back to his rooms silently, wondering what he was going to do about his Harry problem. He was only glad that N.E.W.T.s were starting and he wouldn't have to have Harry in class again.

After such an admission on Harry's part, Severus didn't know how to act around him. Severus had never told anyone he loved them, not since Jason. He didn't trust his heart with anyone else, but somehow he'd given it to a teenager destined to fight the Dark Lord one day. Furthermore, as if he didn't have enough to worry about, Harry had to go and say that he most definitely won't survive the encounter! What was the brat thinking?

Severus sighed with frustration, wishing he had just said something to keep Harry around. He'd been in love with him for so long, he didn't know how to feel any other way. Now he just had to find a way to find out just what Harry had planned. He figured Harry would have to leave the school for whatever insane scheme he had cooked up. He figured he'd just keep his eyes open and wait. Perhaps it would be prudent to take up his old haunts again. It had been a while since he wreaked havoc on students' love lives. The thought brought a sadistic smirk to his face as he entered his rooms.

**EIGHT**

Harry was certain that he'd passed all of his N.E.W.T.s. He'd only taken the tests so that his parents would be proud of him when he saw them again. He didn't think he'd be around long enough for the grades to make much of an impact on his future. He was sitting in his dorm room on a sunny Saturday afternoon, watching the white speck in the sky grow larger as Hedwig flew toward him. She had in her talons the reply to Harry's letter. His heart fluttered with nervousness, but he ignored it, thinking of a happy world with no fear.

Hedwig squawked irritably as she flew into the window and landed on Harry's lap. She dropped the parchment as though it was something particularly nasty and gave Harry's finger a sharp nip.

"I'm very sorry, Hedwig," Harry said to her, opening the parchment with fingers that trembled slightly. "It was necessary. I promise that that was the last delivery you will ever have to make for me."

Hedwig stared at him with confused amber eyes. She hooted softly and butted her head against Harry's hand gently. Harry petted her absently as he read the letter.

_Potter,_

_I am pleased to see that you have finally come to your senses. You have finally seen that you were always meant to be my protégé. What a pair we shall make; taking the wizarding world by storm and driving the Mudbloods and half-breeds from it! We will purify the race until purebloods rule once again! I will be expecting you on June first for your initiation into my ranks. Four of my faithful will meet you in the village of Hogsmeade to escort you. Meet them in the square at midnight precisely. I will be most displeased if you are late._

Harry sighed heavily after finishing the letter. The pompous bastard hadn't even signed the bloody thing! Hedwig's continued hooting drew his attention at last. "What's the matter, Hedwig?" he asked.

She hooted again and bumped his hand with her head.

"Oh, my lovely," Harry murmured, petting her again. "I'm sorry to worry you so. I don't mean to, but I can't lie to you either. Two days from now, you probably won't see me again. I want you to go stay with Draco and Hermione. They'll take good care of you."

Hedwig didn't seem to agree with him and nuzzled his hand again.

"I'm sorry, Hedwig," Harry told her gently. "This is the way it has to be. It can't be any other way."

Hedwig have him one last long look before flying back out of the window toward the owlry. Harry sighed heavily and rose from his seat, deciding that his things should at least be tidy when they came to take them away. He'd be dead in just two days time; he didn't want to cause more trouble by making them have to clean up after him.

**NINE**

On May thirty-first, Harry wrote his will and placed it on his pillow before heading out of his dorm room, never once looking back as he went out to meet his fate.

**TEN**

Severus was in the shadows of the entrance hall, a curious feeling of trepidation settling itself in his chest. He watched the stairs closely, expecting someone to come down, though he had no idea why he felt that way.

As he watched, a lone figure descended the stairs wearing a black cloak with the hood pulled up over his head. As the figure passed, he looked into Severus' shadowed hiding spot and lingered a moment before moving on. As he turned away, a beam of moonlight fell on his face and Severus saw a flash of green from his eyes. Severus only knew one person with eyes that particular shade of green; it was Harry. He moved on silently, opening the doors with barely a sound and disappearing beyond them. Severus decided then that Harry had been spending entirely too much time with him if he'd picked up on his sneaking habits. Severus took off after him, determined to find out what the fool boy was up to. Severus wondered briefly why Harry hadn't worn his invisibility cloak, but the thought was driven out of his head when he saw how far ahead of him Harry was. The teenager was walking fast now.

Severus followed Harry off of the school grounds and into the village of Hogsmeade. He wondered just what Harry was up to, and was preparing to come out of the shadows to ask him when four cloaked figures emerged from the alleys around the square. Severus froze in place as he recognized the figures for what they were: Death Eaters. He couldn't help but notice that Harry didn't seem at all surprised to find them there.

One of the Death Eaters approached Harry, holding a small golden ball a little bit bigger than a Snitch. The other three held out their hands and touched the ball, turning their gazes on Harry. Harry hesitated for a split second before reaching out and touching the ball as well.

Severus realized a second too late that the object was a Portkey. He cursed fluently before remembering that the Dark Lord was ridiculously frivolous when it came to his own safety. He _never_ moved his headquarters, regardless of who might know where it was. Severus cursed one more time before Apparating to the sight.

When he arrived outside of the dilapidated house, Severus found himself utterly alone. He moved stealthily around the building and climbed the trellis to the second floor balcony. From there, he quietly crept up to the glass doors, peeking in to make sure the room beyond was empty. Once assured, he opened the door and crept inside. He opened the door to the corridor a crack, just enough to see the gathering in the hall below.

He could see a rather large group of Death Eaters standing about the perimeter, more Death Eaters than he had ever seen in one place at one time. Obviously the Dark Lord felt that whatever was about to take place was a momentous occasion. Harry was in the middle, standing alone and not making any attempt to get himself out of this predicament. What was the fool doing? Severus backed up a step when a door downstairs banged open and the Dark Lord entered with a flourish of his black robes. He went to the head of the gathering, in front of Harry, and stood proudly, Nagini circling his feet.

"Today is, indeed, a wondrous day," the Dark Lord said, his high-pitched voice sending chills down Severus' back. "Harry Potter has seen the truth and has decided to join our ranks as one of my faithful."

Severus' eyes snapped to Harry in horrified disbelief. Harry stood with a straight back and looked directly at the Dark Lord. When Harry said in his letter that he'd forgiven the bastard, Severus didn't think for a moment that it went to quite _this_ extent! Had the boy completely lost his mind?

"It is an honor, my Lord," Harry said in his strong tenor. Severus felt his heart sink rapidly.

"Come forward, my faithful," the Dark Lord said, beckoning with one long fingered hand.

Harry stepped forward and knelt before the Dark Lord.

"Do you pledge yourself to our righteous cause, Harry Potter?" the fiend asked.

"I do," Harry replied, lowering his eyes for the first time.

The Dark Lord held out his hand and Harry grasped it. "This is a glorious day," the Dark Lord said.

"Indeed it is, my Lord," Harry agreed. That was when Severus saw something peculiar. A white glow was emanating from between Harry's and the Dark Lord's hands. Harry's fingers closed tight around the Dark Lord's hand, and Severus realized what the idiot child was doing. He stared in horror as the Dark Lord's eyes grew wide and he fell to his knees in pain. The Death Eaters around the room all gripped their left arms, and Severus well remembered the pain of the Dark Mark being removed.

Severus watched in stunned amazement as the Dark Lord began to morph, his snake-like features changing into those of a man. His eyes faded from red to brown, his skin darkening to a more normal shade of peach. As Harry started to convulse violently, Tom Riddle's eyes relaxed slightly and he fell back, dead. Harry too fell back, convulsing on the floor violently as his body fought the Dark Magic it had absorbed.

Severus snapped out of his daze and ran from his hiding place, racing down the stairs and not stopping until he reached Harry's side. As he dropped to his knees beside the teen, Harry opened his mouth and let out a piercing scream, a cloud of black mist escaping from his body through any vent it could find. Severus flinched back from the cloud, watching as it completely obscured Harry from his sight. It took several moments for the smoke to clear, and when it did, Severus saw Harry lying very still on his back, his breathing shallow.

"Harry!" Severus cried, scooping the teen into his arms. "Harry, open your eyes! Open your eyes, Harry!"

Harry stirred slightly and his eyes fluttered open. His aura was flickering most alarmingly.

"That's right, Harry," Severus said gently, soothing his hand over Harry's hair.

"Sev'rus," Harry whispered, sounding completely exhausted. "I… should have known… you'd come."

"Harry, you foolish boy," Severus muttered. "What were you thinking?"

Harry chuckled a bit. He started to shiver. "It's cold… Sev'rus," he said.

Severus lifted him from the floor. "Hang on, Harry love," he comforted. "Just hang on until I get you back to Hogwarts."

Harry's aura completely disappeared as Severus watched, sending a panic through the Potions Master. "Love?" Harry asked, his voice even more distant than before.

"Of course love, you foolish boy," Severus replied just as he Apparated both of them to Hogsmeade. "Why else would I come for you?" But Harry had passed out in his arms. Alarm spread through Severus like wild fire and he broke out into a dead run, desperate to reach the infirmary.

"Poppy!" he screeched as he banged the doors open. "I need you!" He gently placed Harry on the nearest bed. Harry's aura was non-existent and Severus couldn't see any movement to indicate he was still breathing. He was dead.

Poppy burst into the room, looking extremely upset. "What is the fuss about?" she asked. She spotted Harry on the bed and rushed over, tying her dressing gown as she came. "What happened?"

Severus shook his head, his mind unable to wrap itself around the horrible truth. "Gods, no," he whispered before fleeing from the ward.

* * *

**Author's Note: Don't kill me! It's not over until the Fat Lady sings! Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…**

**DestinyEntwinements: I'm from U.S.A.**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro: Hehehe, my bad.**

**Sword and Magic**

**CogniDi: One more to go… hehehehe**

**Purplepaper: Er… sorry for raining on your parade.**

**LeeLeePotter: Yeap, but Harry had to come to terms with things first.**

**Hittocerebattosai**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**Kears: We shall see in the next… sort of. Sorry, but I didn't write the wedding. If you like, you can feel free to write a companion piece with the wedding once all is said and done. Just mention me, yeah?**

**Rosalia: No, no wedding in this one.**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Hikari-Aoi: No, it doesn't flare. It has an empire skirt and waistline.**

**Animegurl088**

**Jujube 15**

**Chibi-Kaisie: It was Mike who saved them. He works for Bumblebore… er… Dumbledore now. The only chapters with bits missing are the ones with sexual content because FF . net will kick me off the site if things get too graphic. Dumbledore does not know about Severus'… er… _extracurricular_ activities, don't worry about that. Mione's mom doesn't want Mione to marry a 'freak' and so wouldn't approve of Draco.**

**Jeni: One more chapter to go…**

**A cookie for anyone who can tell me where this line came from: **"Your voice is giving me an aneurysm!"


	32. Miracle of Miracles

**Author's Note: This chapter contains FLUFF, FLUFF and FLUFF, with a little FLUFF thrown in for spice. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

**Miracle of Miracles**

**ONE**

Hermione woke with a start and looked around her dorm room, wondering what could have startled her. Everything seemed quiet, so she assumed it was a bad dream. Unable to fall asleep again, she quietly rose from her bed and moved to the dark window to look out on the grounds. Almost at once, she saw a lone figure running down the main path from the gates, carrying in his arms a limp body. She frowned slightly, wondering what was going on. Deciding that she'd most likely find out in the morning, she decided to go back to bed. It was a while before sleep came to her. She'd had word from her parents and they were not happy about her engagement. Not at all.

The truth was, her _mother_ was angry. She'd gotten two letters from them. The first was from her mother, forbidding the wedding and blaming Hermione for all of Mother's problems. The second letter shed light on her mother's angry mood. Her father had filed for divorce and wholly supported her union with Draco. He promised to give her away at her wedding. The thought of her father made her smile. She couldn't wait to introduce him to Draco, though the thought of her parents getting divorced because of her was somewhat disconcerting. Needless to say, her emotions were rather strung out already.

**TWO**

In the morning, the whole of Gryffindor was abuzz with news. Voldemort was dead and most of his Death Eaters were awaiting trail in the Ministry's holding cells. Hermione frowned down at the _Daily Prophet_ she'd borrowed from Parvati Patil, wondering what was going on. She decided that she'd ask Harry. If anyone would know, he would.

She went up the stairs to the boys' dormitories, ignoring the boys coming down telling her that Harry wasn't there. She opened the door to Harry's dorm and found that it was, indeed, empty. Frowning, Hermione moved to Harry's bed, noticing how tidy everything was. If there was one thing she knew, it was that Harry's things were _never_ tidy. Her curiosity grew when she saw the envelope on Harry's pillow. She reached out and picked it up, opening it to find a will inside. With a gasp, she dropped the parchment and ran from the room, heading for the Hospital Wing.

"Madame Pomfrey!" she shrieked as she flew into the room. "Madame Pomfrey!"

"I'm not deaf, child!" Madame Pomfrey scolded as she bustled into the room. Her features softened when she saw just who had been screaming for her. "You'll be wanting to see Mr. Potter, I expect."

"He's here?" Hermione asked hopefully. "Where?"

"Come along then," Madame Pomfrey said, beckoning with her hand. She led Hermione into a closed off room at the end of the ward. In the center of the room was a bed with Harry lying in it completely motionless. There were several tubes running from odd-looking machines and into Harry's body. One was obviously meant to help his breathing.

"What happened?" Hermione asked softly, fighting back tears.

"I haven't a clue, dear," Madame Pomfrey replied gravely. "Professor Snape brought him in late last night, but he ran out of here before I could ask him any questions." She sighed heavily. "I've seen him in here more these past seven years than any other student I can remember. The poor dear has drained his core, though I can't _imagine_ how he managed _that._"

Hermione thought of the paper that morning.

_**He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Discovered Dead!**_

This explained everything. Harry must have snuck out last night to end the war once and for all and Snape must have followed him. That's whom she'd seen running up the walk in the dead of night. Snape had saved Harry's life yet again. "How long will he be here?" she asked then, turning to look at Madame Pomfrey.

The nurse's sympathetic gaze gave Hermione all the answer she needed. "I've never seen anyone recover from a completely drained core," she said gently. "It's a miracle he's lasted this long."

Tears came to Hermione eyes and she fled from the Hospital Wing, one hand covering her mouth, and the other pushing open doors as she ran. She was half way to Gryffindor when she skidded to a halt, her mind racing. Professor Snape was a Spellweaver. She remembered when the man had single-handedly strengthened the wards around the school. She spun around, her robes swirling around her legs, and sprinted down the stairs towards the dungeons. If anyone could help, it was Severus Snape.

As she flew down the corridor, running faster than she ever had before, she ran straight into Draco, sending them both crashing down to the floor.

"Hermione!" Draco exclaimed once he realized who had crashed into him. "What's going on?"

Hermione quickly extricated herself from the pile. "I have to speak to Professor Snape!" she gasped as she finally got to her feet.

Draco shot to his feet and grabbed her shoulders just as she was preparing to run away again. "He's not seeing anyone," he said to her. "He's been out of sorts all morning. He won't say what's wrong, but he's not going to see you."

"He has to!" Hermione exclaimed, struggling against Draco's hands. "HE JUST HAS TO!" She broke free from his grasp and continued her mad dash to Snape's rooms, Draco right on her heals. She shouted the password frantically as she reached the door and burst through, her eyes immediately scanning the room for Snape, who was sitting on his couch, staring blankly at a bottle of absinth.

"Hermione!" Draco gasped behind her. "I told you-"

"Professor Snape!" Hermione burst out, cutting over Draco's protest. "I _must_ speak with you!"

"Go away, Granger," Snape said. "I've no wish to speak with anyone."

"Please!" Hermione begged. "It's about Harry!"

"I already know," Snape gripped, not even turning to look at her. "You can go now."

"But he needs help!"

This caused Snape to turn around and stare at her, looking most incredulous.

"Please, sir! He's in the Hospital Wing! Madame Pomfrey says he's going to die!"

"What?" Draco yelped behind her. She ignored him.

"What is this nonsense?" Snape asked coldly. "He's already dead!"

"No he's not!" Hermione yelled back at him.

"HE IS!" Snape exploded. "I SAW HIM WITH MY OWN EYES!"

"HE'S NOT DEAD!" Hermione shrieked frantically. "BUT HE WILL BE IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BLOODY ASS IN MOTION, NOW!"

The whole room fell silent, the two men staring at Hermione in astonishment. Snape growled low in his throat and left the room in a flurry of robes, Hermione and Draco right behind him.

**THREE**

Severus moved toward the infirmary at a brisk walk, his robes billowing behind him as though in reflection of his irritation. As though he wasn't suffering enough, the Granger chit had to come claiming that Harry was still alive. He burst through the infirmary doors angrily, walking toward Pomfrey's office without even pausing.

"Where are you going?" Granger asked behind him, sounding more than annoyed. "Harry's _this_ way!"

Severus spun around and found Granger pointing toward a closed door. He went to it, glaring at the girl as he passed her, and threw the door open angrily. He froze in his place when he saw Harry lying on a plain white bed, tubes coming from many places in his body. Poppy was nearby, mixing something in a stone bowl.

"It's about time you came back here," she said when she saw it was him. "You didn't even tell me what happened!"

Only Severus didn't hear her, so fixated was he by the sight of Harry on the bed. His legs felt weak beneath him and he leaned on the wall for support. He slid down it slowly, barely noticing anything around him as he began to sob with relief. Harry was alive!

"Severus, pull yourself together man!" Poppy exclaimed, looking somewhat horrified at his actions.

"What are you doing!" Granger exclaimed at the same time. "You have to help him!"

This got Severus' attention and he sprang to his feet, spinning to face the girl. "What do you expect me to do! I'm not a Healer!"

"No, you're a Spellweaver!" Granger shouted back. "Help him!" She pointed a shaking finger at Harry's bed.

Severus turned to Poppy, hoping the woman would talk some sense into the fool girl, but Poppy was staring at him as well. "She has a point, Severus," Poppy said. "I hadn't even thought of it."

"ARE YOU ALL STARK RAVING MAD!" Severus exploded angrily while the three in the room kept staring at him. "WHY ARE YOU ALL STARING AT ME LIKE THAT!"

"His core has been drained, Severus," Poppy replied. "Only a magical boost can save him now."

Severus stared at her for a moment, and then turned his bewildered gaze on Harry. His aura was still conspicuously missing. As he processed what these people were saying to him, he wondered why it hadn't dawned on him sooner. He slowly moved toward the bed and grasped Harry's hand in his own. He trailed his hand up Harry's arm and across his shoulder, moving down to his chest. He gasped when he closed his eyes and saw _inside_ Harry's magic.

In his mind, he saw a ball of violet light, flickering weakly, small threads of magic attempting to reach out from it, but blinking out before getting very far. He concentrated on that ball and pushed his magic forward, toward the threads. His magic wrapped gently around each thread and guided them back into their source. He allowed his senses to carry him throughout Harry's pathways, locating stray bits of power and guiding them back to the core. As he worked, the core slowly stopped flickering and began to glow a little brighter. Slowly, tentatively, small tendrils of magic began snaking out of Harry's core, spreading through his pathways without blinking out this time.

Severus' eyes fluttered open and he stared as Harry started to struggle against the breathing tube that was down his throat. Poppy approached immediately and removed it. Harry didn't wake, but he was breathing on his own, and his aura was now a faint glow around him.

Severus looked at Draco and Granger when Granger finally allowed herself to break down, sobbing into Draco's shoulder. Draco stared at Severus, bewilderment shining in his silver eyes. "That was brilliant," he said softly.

Severus stared at him a moment longer before turning his gaze back to Harry, who was still unconscious on the bed.

**FOUR**

Harry felt warm and comfortable, yet weak. His eyes fluttered open, only to close sharply when they were assaulted by harsh white light. He groaned as a headache started to form. He felt a goblet pressed against his lips and he opened his mouth to accept the potion. A moment later, his headache was gone.

"Better?" a silky baritone asked.

Harry smiled and opened his eyes, his smile growing wider when he saw the relieved look on Severus' face. "Yes, thank you," he replied.

A tiny grin appeared on Severus' face. "Do you know the grief you've caused?" he asked. "I nearly had a stroke when Dumbledore gave me your little box of belongings."

"Sorry about that," Harry said. "I'd assumed I'd be dead by now."

"Fool boy," Severus said gently. "What ever made you think that I would want that infernal cloak of yours?"

Harry laughed happily. Of all the things he had been expecting, it certainly hadn't been that. "A memento of better times, Sev'rus," he informed his lover.

Severus chuckled. "Don't ever do something so stupid again, do you understand me?" he asked. "Running off to a Death Eater meeting all by yourself, not even telling anyone where you had gone? What were you thinking?"

"Oh, you know me," Harry replied. "I never do what I'm _supposed_ to."

"I know that only too well," Severus commented. He bent forward and placed a soft kiss on Harry's lips, leaning their foreheads together afterwards. "Have I told you how much I love you?" he asked.

Harry beamed at him happily. "No," he replied. "But now's as good a time as any."

Severus smiled softly. "I love you, so very much."

"I love you too, Severus," Harry replied. "More than you could ever know."

Just then, there was a commotion outside the door before it burst open and two witches walked in; the one in front, who was holding a baby, was blonde, tall and elegant looking; and the one behind, who was holding a parchment scroll, was a read-head with bright blue eyes, shorter than the first but still tall and rather imposing. Both were wearing Ministry Green robes. Madame Pomfrey came in behind them looking harassed.

"I've told you that he's unwell!" she was ranting. "Can't this wait?"

"He looks fine to me," the witch with the baby said. The little girl was wearing the most adorable pink dress and blinking her large green eyes sleepily.

"Are you Harry Potter?" the witch with the scroll asked.

Harry nodded mutely, wondering what this was about.

The woman nodded sharply, unrolling the parchment. "After extensive searching and testing done by the Ministry of Magic, with the aid of the Paternity Potion, we wish to make known to you this minor child, hence forth known as Baby Girl Potter.

"Baby Girl Potter, daughter of Blaise Zabini and Harry Potter, was born on 15 March, nineteen hundred and ninety-seven at eight fifty-three p.m. Her paternity has been proven by use of the potion, proving beyond a doubt that she is the biological child of Mr. Harry Potter. The mother, Blaise Zabini, is serving a life sentence in Azkaban Prison for treason, and therefore holds no parental rights over Baby Girl Potter. Custody is hereby granted to Harry Potter upon the receipt of his signature upon the birth certificate." She held out a separate parchment to Harry, which he took, his eyes as wide as saucers. "Do you accept custody of the child?"

"I… yes!" Harry exclaimed, never having imagined that he would have a child of his own. The read-headed witch handed him a quill, which he used to sign his name on the bottom of the birth certificate. He thought for a moment before writing Serena Lillian Potter on the "Name of Child" line.

The blonde witch handed him the baby and with that, both witches turned on their heels and left the room without further comment. Serena opened her eyes for a moment before closing them again and drifting off to sleep.

"She's beautiful," Harry murmured, carding his hands through her silky black locks.

"Yes," Severus replied softly, sounding and feeling sad all of a sudden.

Harry looked at him. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Severus watched Serena sleep for a moment before shaking his head. "No, nothing." He smiled a bit; it looked painful. "I have some things to take care of. I'll see you later." He pecked Harry on the forehead and left the room.

Harry was somewhat concerned by Severus' abrupt departure, but his attention was quickly diverted as his daughter moved in her sleep. Harry felt deep pride and joy well up inside of him as he watched her. _I have a daughter!_ he thought excitedly. _Severus and I will raise her to be a wonderful woman. I'm a father!_ He felt like shouting to the world that he was a father.

**FIVE**

Severus packed his things away by hand, foregoing the use of magic in favor of working off his frustrations by doing the work manually. The moment he'd seen Harry's daughter, he'd felt his future with the young man slipping away. He knew that Harry would come to realize that that child was one thing Severus could not give him, no matter how he wanted to. He always knew that Harry would eventually come to that conclusion himself, but he hadn't expected it to so soon.

He paused in his work when there was a soft knock on his door. He knew who it was. He hadn't spoken to the teen for two days, trying to delay the inevitable. He went to the door and opened it, staring at Harry for a moment before turning back around and continuing to pack.

"The password didn't work," Harry said, stepping inside and closing the door.

"Technically these are no longer my rooms," Severus replied. "The password was cancelled yesterday. I imagine a new one will be applied once Dumbledore finds a replacement for me."

"Why have you been avoiding me, Sev'rus?" Harry asked bluntly, getting straight to the point.

"I have not been avoiding you," Severus grumbled irritably. "I have been busy getting ready for my imminent departure from this prison."

Harry flinched a bit, but made no reply.

"Where is your bouncing baby girl?" Severus asked more sharply than he had intended. He'd been watching Harry, even if the boy was unaware of it. He never saw Harry without that child attached to him.

"Hermione agreed to watch her while I came down here to speak with you," Harry replied. "What's bothering you, Sev'rus?"

Severus turned from his packing and glared at Harry. It didn't have the same effect it used to. Damn. "Nothing," he snapped. "Nothing is wrong."

Harry nodded a little. "I could tell," he said. "You know, just the other day I heard Hagrid telling Draco how disgusting Hippogriffs are."

Severus snorted, recognizing the jibe for what it was. "Don't play that game with me. I taught it to you."

"Then stop lying to me and tell me the truth," Harry returned.

Severus sighed, running a trembling hand through his hair. "You confound me, Harry," he admitted. "I'll never understand why you chose me when you could have anyone."

"I don't want anyone, Sev'rus," Harry replied. "I love _you_. I can't just pretend that I don't. What is this about?"

"I can't make you happy, Harry," Severus said dejectedly. "I don't have what it takes."

"Tell me you're joking," Harry said dryly. "You really have no idea how happy I am just knowing that you love me?"

"What about your baby?" Severus asked.

"What about her?" Harry asked back. "I had planned on raising her with you. That is, if that's what you want."

Severus stared at him in relieved disbelief. "You… you want me to help you raise her?"

"Of course I do," Harry replied. "Why, what did you think I would say?"

"I… I thought you would come to your senses and find a beautiful woman to give you more little brats to join the first one."

Harry laughed long and loud, gripping his stomach in mirth. "Oh, Sev'rus!" he cried through his laughs. He calmed after a while and watched Severus through glittering eyes. "You are a silly man." He came across the room and pulled Severus into a tight embrace. He kissed him soundly. "I wouldn't trade you in for anything. Who else is going to spend the rest of his days driving me mad?"

Severus couldn't help it; he laughed too. He bent his head and kissed Harry deeply, his heart soaring with the knowledge that he now had a family of his own. "I love you, you little brat," he said. "I hope you know that."

Harry smiled. "I know it. You wouldn't put up with me otherwise." He gave a wave of his hand and Severus' things finished packing themselves. "What say you we blow this joint?"

"I think that's the best idea you've had all year." Severus wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and they walked out of the room, never to return. The went passed Hermione's room to pick up Serena and made their way to London to start a new, Voldemort free life together, for better or worse.

_**FIN

* * *

**_

**Author's Note: Well, that's that, as they are known to say. Just who 'they' are, remains a mystery, but I'll go with it. I hope you all enjoyed my little tale of woe and joy and I hope to see you all in the future, whenever I finish my newest works of art. I shall continue my re-write of Harry Potter and the Mysterious Elven Student and post it as the chapters are completed. It's not SLASH, and it's not the best thing I've ever written, but I'm rather fond of it. It _was_ my first, after all. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis, who took her time and energy and used them on this fic, helping me out here and there whenever I'd get stuck. Thanks also to…**

**Dreamerdoll**

**Nimeariel**

**Shiemi Shimabukuro**

**LeeLeePotter: Definitely dramatic enough. Hehehehehe**

**DestinyEntwinements: hehehehe, nope, he's not dead… hehehehe**

**Medicated Drama Queen: Thank you so much for your concern. I'm feeling much better recently, though they still haven't figured it out yet. I'm supposed to see a gastroenterologist, but I have to wait until I have enough funds to pay the co-pay. Pathetic, isn't it? **

**CogniDi**

**TheWingsoftheHouseofBlack: No, it wasn't Giles, sorry.**

**LuxAeternaSanti**

**Itsasledgehammer**

**Tinkita**

**Hoshi Tamamushiirono**

**Jeni: I'm trying, but he has more stamina than I thought… hehehehe**

**Shadow Eclipse**

**Sister to the Egyptian Psychos**

**Mariana**

**Elizabeth Patil**

**Ktoddhim**

**Jujube 15**

**Sh'arra Rie**

**Squirrelz: That's where I got the idea for the black clouds, actually. I love that book.**

**Moony103**

**Hittocerebattosai**

**Cuthrin Khafre**

**Sliver of Melody: That's quite all right, m'dear. I'm just glad you came out of it better than your eckleticity. Hehehehe**

**Night Walker1**

**P.S. Cheers to Night Walker1 for guessing correctly! Here's a whole box of cookies for you for being the only one who did! The quote was from 'Connie and Carla', a delightful film if you're not looking for deep soul searching material.**

**This quote: **Severus snorted, recognizing the jibe for what it was. "Don't play that game with me. I taught it to you."

**came almost directly from 'My Fair Lady'. I love that film as well. Ahhh, Audrey Hepburn could play some good characters, couldn't she? **

**Well, that's it. I hope to see you all in my next fic 'Tears in the Rain' which will be up eventually, but I don't know when. Hehehe. Ta, for now!**


End file.
